All Good Things (34 page)

Rain spilled from the sky above in a torrent of rivulets, stabbing my skin in their descent. Much like my tears. My throat burned and my skin felt like ice. The city was dark and dreary. It was sad. A black hole of a place...a perfect match for my heart.

What started out as an evening of bliss, spiraled out of control, and I knew there was no going back. Not from this. The man I loved with my entire heart was also a man who'd destroyed another girl's life. He'd killed a child...his child...their child. Although, I do not know the circumstances...I could only imagine. And, what I imagined was simply too much to bear.

However much I loved Jace, I couldn't imagine moving forward from this...whatever this was. I guessed I'd finally discovered the scenario with the capacity to make me run from Jace, rather than toward him.

Lexie's words branded my mind. Her twisted tidbits of information left a stale, bitter taste in my mouth. I felt ill. The vaulted past she'd unlocked tonight was not one I could fathom reliving with Jace. It was far too painful. It was far too distorted.

My bare feet ached from the bite of the cool pavement, but I continued running. I ignored the stares I received from curious, pity-filled eyes, as cars drove by. My white dress was now nearly translucent. It was heavy from soaking up the rain and as I ran, the hem slapped against the cold skin of my knees. But I didn't care. In a way, I reveled in the pain.

The pain was a distraction from what I knew could very well hold the capability to end me. The thought of Jace with another woman...inducing pain for sexual gratification...or pleasure...or whatever...it was too much.

My lungs burned as my steps faltered and I tripped, landing on all fours, but not before first scrapping my knee. It was in that moment, as I sat on the cement sidewalk, curling my knees into my chest, I truly feared I'd hit rock bottom. I set my cheek on my knee, not realizing...or maybe not caring, about the blood it oozed. And, I cried some more.

Then the shivers kicked in. I knew I had to find my way to warmth or I would fall into hyperthermia. For the first time since leaving Jace's penthouse, I looked around. The buildings were tall and the streets stared back at me like a long, daunting maze. My heart constricted and my stomach dropped. I was lost. And, I was a mess.

"Miss?" A man's voice pulsed over the airwaves and I tensed. "Are you all right? Do you need a hospital?"

I couldn't respond. I couldn't even move.

The man stepped cautiously around me. He looked to be in his early fifties and his face was pinched with worry for me...a stranger on the street. There was hope for humanity yet...

"Can I help you? Is there somewhere you want to go?" He knelt on the ground, his bony knees pressed hard against the pavement as he struggled to lower himself to my height. I was appreciative of his gesture...even in my crazed state of mind. The man was trying to show me I was safe with him. He was willing to bring himself to my level to show me he was not going to hurt me, that I could trust him.

Tears streamed down my face. "Home."

He nodded, pushing himself back up to his feet. He held his hand down to me and I took it. For a man who appeared so brittle, he was strong and sturdy. He helped me to his car; a taxi, and my heart rushed.

"I don't-," My throat tightened and I stuttered. "I don't have money."

He looked hard down into my face. "I didn't ask you for money, young lady." I nodded, and cried harder at his unexpected kindness. He opened the door of the front seat and pushed me into the car. "You can't very well sit in the back. Your skin is near blue." He reached over my lap and blasted the heat. "Warm up your hands and feet or you'll surely catch your death."

I nodded, shoving my fingertips against the heat vent, desperate for warmth. Thunder cracked in the distance and I flinched. My rescuer slid into the seat next to me and turned to stare at me with hard...almost fatherly eyes. "Now, what happened to ya?"

I shrugged. How was I supposed to tell him any of this? How was I supposed to tell him I was in love with a powerful billionaire killer? How was I supposed to tell him, the man I loved with every fiber of my being, ached, to inflict pain upon the women he entered into a physical relationship with? I couldn't.

"I won't be taking you home to a man if this is what you look like leavin'." The old man's voice was hard and determined. Fiery.

"He's not there." I cried. "I want to go to my home."

"What's your address?" I told him my address through chattering teeth and he nodded. "You're a ways away from there, Darling. You got someone waiting for you at home?"

I shrugged. "I hope so."

He shook his head and pulled into traffic. "I'm going to tell you what I'd tell my own daughter." He announced and I cried harder. "You're a beautiful woman. You got the world at your fingertips and although I haven't seen it, I'm sure you got a smile to light the Heavens. You deserve a man who loves ya. Not a man who beats ya down. You hold your head high and you fight for what you want. Don't let nobody stand in your way, ya hear?"

I nodded and he continued. "You get yourself fixed up tonight. I'm a give you my card. If you ever find yourself in need of a ride...to anywhere...you call me, you here?"

I didn't reply.

"Did you here me?" He asked a little louder. I flinched and he shook his head.

"I did, Sir."

"Don't you, Sir, me." He grumbled. "I ain't your master, I'm a friend now. You call me when you're in need and I will come. I ain't asking for your money, either. Just want you safe."

"Thank you." I whispered. He plucked a card from the cup holder between us and held it out to me.

"Take it, girl."

I took the card between purple fingers and clutched it tight. In this moment, it was my only lifeline.

"What's your name, anyhow?"

"Olivia LeRoux." I replied meekly.

"Well, that's a strong name you got there." He stated. "And you have the potential to live up to that name."

"Thank you." I nodded.

"I'm Bill, by the way." He introduced as though just remembering himself.

"Hi Bill." I smiled, weakly and he nodded triumphantly.

"I knew it." He barreled and I frowned, flinching.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your smile," he nodded. "It rivals the Heavens."

I laughed, for the first time feeling warmed since Lexie's cold words.

***

I was frantic. Where the hell was she? The streets were void of any sign of Olivia, and I'd looked. Everywhere. Trisha was waiting at home and after spiting threats, she'd finally agreed to call me, if, and when, she arrived. I hoped Trisha stayed true to her word. If she didn't...I didn't know what I would do.

I called Caleb and asked if she took her purse and he told me she hadn't taken anything. She left her keys and her money in my house and now she was wandering the streets of New York alone in this raging storm.

Fuck. I fisted the steering wheel as I turned down yet another road, scanning the grey slabs of concrete in the distance. All the while, I prayed she was okay and still alive. All I could think about was someone finding her and hurting her...maybe even her stocker. Why the hell hadn't I had someone posted outside my penthouse? Why had Caleb allowed her to wander into the night alone? It was fucking New York, and she was a beautiful woman...where was his brain?

My phone rang. Trisha's name lit the screen.

"Is she there?" I answered, skipping the technical formalities.

"What did you do to her?" Trisha growled low under her breath.

"What do you mean?" I demanded. "Is she all right?"

"She is bloody and soaked to the bone, Jace. If you hurt her, I will kill you." Her words cut. The thought of Olivia in pain had my heart throbbing. "She doesn't want to see you. Don't come here. She won't even talk to me."

"I have to come, Trisha. She needs to know what happened. She needs the truth."

The line went dead. She hung up. But, it didn't matter. I was already on my way.

Chapter 27

The dripping of my hair on the tile of my bathroom floor was constant. I stood before the full-length mirror, trying to induce an emotion aside from grief. I was a horror to look at. Trisha had taken one look at me and threatened to call the police. When I said I did it to myself...without knowing what she was staring at, her eyes had grown wet and she lunged for me. But, I'd dodged her arms. I couldn't handle the thought of affection. Not right now.

I wished I hadn't spent all my tears. I desperately needed to cry, to feel something aside form this debilitating despair curdling in my stomach. But, I couldn't.

I could only stare at myself in the mirror. Frozen.

And, what an image I was.

My eyes were rimmed in a bruised shade of red, fringed in a dark purple...the color rivaled black. My cheeks were pale and puffy from incessant crying and my lips were thin, positioned in, what I feared, might possibly become a permanent frown of sorrow. There was a streak of blood against the side of my face where I'd rested my cheek against my cut knee, making me look more a wreck than expected.

My skin was an appalling shade of blue that made me think of death. It was not all that surprising through...the fact that my body would begin a slow death, now that I couldn't have Jace.

Of one thing I was certain. There was a monster within the man I loved. And, for reasons far beyond my ability to comprehend; I sated him.

The bathroom door burst open and Jace stood there in his suit. His blue eyes blazed as he took in my image. Trisha slammed into his back, but he didn't react. His eyes didn't sway from mine.

"Please listen, Olivia." He begged. "Let me tell you my side of the story."

I shook my head. "I can't, Jace."

Trisha wrapped a hand around his arm, trying desperately to tug him from the room. "You heard her. She can't."

"Olivia, I'm begging you." And, he was. I could see his pleading alight in his eyes. My heart wrenched in my chest as I stared hard at him, my resolve weakening.

"You will tell me everything?" I asked.

"Everything." Hope echoed from his tone.

"And, if I decide I want you to leave, you will respect me enough to walk away?" I stared hard into his blue eyes and I knew we were close to an end. If it was not the death of me...I didn't know what would be. Because, I was certain there would never be a more painful moment.

"If you listen and decide you don't want to see me, I will leave." He agreed, but his words sounded pained.

I thought for a moment, and all the while, Trisha stood holding to Jace's arm. He didn't fight her, though I knew he could have with ease. Instead, they both waited for my reply.

"I will listen." I said stiffly. I looked to Trisha and she nodded, releasing Jace's arm. I could see in her eyes, she didn't think this was a good idea. And, maybe it wasn't...but, I needed it. It would be closure.

I needed closure.

Jace pulled the bathroom door closed and stepped closer to me. His eyes were alight with fire and worry. "You should get yourself out of that dress, Olivia."

I shook my head sharply, ignoring my shivers. "Talk Jace." I commanded. "It's what you came here to do."

He nodded. "What did Lexie tell you?"

"Her side of the story." I shivered again, and his eyes flashed.

"Please change." He begged.

"If you don't tell me what I want to know, I'm going to ask you to leave and never come back."

He nodded, but the pain in his eyes tore me apart inside. I didn't even know how that was possible. I was already a ruin.

Jace spoke. His tone was sad. "When I met Lexie, I was young and foolish. I trusted her enough to show her my innermost sexual desires, and she used them against me."

My stomach dropped. "What are your desires, Jace? Tell me what you really want."

"I enjoy inflicting both pain and humiliation upon the women I fuck, Olivia." He spat the words. "I'm a sadomasochist."

There was that word again...the one Lexie used while referring to Jace. But, how can that be when he is so gentle and caring with me? How is it possible for him to restrain the obvious urges he houses within himself while with me?

"I need you to explain, Jace."

He ran a hand through disheveled black hair and my stomach knotted. "I employ tools during sexual intercourse that allow me to derive both humiliation and pain...and sometimes pleasure from the women I fuck. I'm excited at the sight of their fear shinning in their eyes as they kneel before me, waiting to pleasure me without the knowledge I will satisfy them in return. A thrill runs through me at the thought of filling them with shame, flooding them with humiliation." He shrugged at my horrified expression. How could the man I love be so...cruel? "It's just who I am, Olivia. I can't help it."

I nodded. I'd asked...and he told. "Have you ever wanted to...do those things to me?"

His eyes narrowed and his lips pressed into a tight line. "We're not going there."

"Yes, we are." I said. "I want to know, Jace. I need to know."

"Of course I've thought about it, Olivia." He growled. He looked like a man about to lose his sanity.

"What do you fantasize about...with me?" I didn't know why I kept pressing for answers I didn't really want...but, I just couldn't stop myself. I needed to know.

Jace stepped toward me. "You want to know what I fantasize about doing to you?" His tone was low and menacing as he closed the distance between us. "I want to tie your pretty wrists behind your back until they mark red. I want to hear your whimpers as the whip in my hand meets with your pale, smooth skin. I want to see fear shinning bright in your pretty brown eyes as you look up at me from your knees. And, I want to see humiliation pale your skin before pleasure takes its place in a bloom of pink. I want to fuck you hard and rough, Olivia. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

My stomach was knotted and my entire body shook...but, no longer from the cold. I was conflicted. There was a sick part of me that ached to satisfy him regardless of my feelings of detest at his desires. I loved him...and some would say love is blind.