All I Have to Give (20 page)

‘No, M’lady,’ said Dorothy, which made Eloise feel a little pang of guilt. Having once been her nanny, Dorothy loved to recall stories from walks out when Eloise was a child.
These would always be to the park, as they were now, and so Dorothy had a lot of memories to convey. But Eloise just needed to be alone with her thoughts today.

The afternoon was a pleasant one. The flowers and trees were still in their summer bloom as the two of them walked towards the Earls Court gates of Holland Park itself.

Passing through the gates, it only took a few minutes’ walk to bring them to the fountain at the back of Aunt Muriel’s house. Cousin Edith loved this fountain and, by being near to
it, Eloise felt as if Edith was close to her. She was certain Edith was still alive. She would have known if she hadn’t been. Something would have told her; besides, she had to keep hoping
that Edith would soon be found.

Poor Edith; apart from what might be happening to her now, when she returned she had a lot to face. Things Eloise couldn’t visit at the moment. If she allowed herself to, she would lose
the purpose of this time to herself. She did wonder, though, what Edith would think of her now, because just a few short months ago Edith had seen her as a silly girl, and that is what she had
been. How she would love Edith to know that she had changed, and that she shouldered everyone’s problems and stood strong for them all. Edith would never believe such a transformation could
happen.

She sat on a bench near the fountain. The spray from the tumbling water sent little droplets to wet her hair, cooling her after her walk and clearing her mind. Only for it to start clouding over
the next minute with her worries.
What will happen if Jay changes his mind and wants his inheritance, as surely he will? How will Lady Muriel take that? Will she be able to stand it?
So
much hung in the air.

Her initial feelings about Jay had changed, and now she wondered if the nice young man she’d found him to be wouldn’t want to take away her Aunt Muriel’s inheritance; and if he
did, then, as Aunt Muriel’s half-brother, he would surely look after her, perhaps even make her a generous allowance. But still, that wouldn’t help matters, as it wouldn’t be the
loss of the money so much as the shame of losing her standing that would injure poor Aunt Muriel the most.

Eloise shrugged and resigned herself to deal with each thing as it happened, rather than worrying about them all now. She had her own future to think of and, with this thought, she remembered
Rene’s letter. It had arrived in the late-morning post. The scrawling handwriting and the postmark had made it easy to identify. Tucking it into her bag, she’d wanted to wait until
after her visit to her aunt to read it, desiring a moment to herself when she could absorb and savour the news and snippets of Rene’s life that she always wrote to her about. A free life, and
one Eloise longed to live for herself.

She and Rene – Irene, really, but she hated that name – had been friends since birth. Rene’s father, the wealthy industrialist Thomas Cooper, and Eloise’s father had been
at Eton together, and the two families were very close.

Eloise had written to Rene for advice about the kinds of war work available, and what she should do to get accepted for it. Not that Rene’s advice would be much use now! It just
wasn’t possible for her to leave home as things were at the moment. But she did want to do something to help the war effort.

Some of Rene’s news was the usual chit-chat about her colleagues’ antics and her own progress towards her final exam. But a part of it concerned a patient, and it moved Eloise almost
to tears as she read: ‘Oh, Eloise, I have met the most courageous woman. Her name is Ada O’Flynn.’

Letting the letter fall to her lap, Eloise found that Ada’s story had greatly affected her.
Oh God, there is so much pain-in the world – how are we to bear it?
A
lump constricted her throat.
I must not give way.

Dorothy’s voice broke into her thoughts and helped her to control her emotions. ‘I’m sorry, Lady Eloise, but I can’t sit silent when I see you troubled. Is there anything
I can do?’

‘I wish there was, Dorothy, but who can mend the world? Will it ever be as it was?’

‘I don’t know. Have you had more bad news? Is Miss Rene all right? I recognized the handwriting and knew the letter was from her.’

‘It is. Yes, she is fine and sends her love to you.’ Rene loved Dorothy as much as she herself did; many times when they had been children Dorothy had been in charge of them both.
‘It is the pain and suffering she is witnessing that is upsetting.’

As she finished telling Dorothy about Ada, Dorothy said, ‘Poor woman. Sadly, she is just one of many, many grieving families, M’lady. Some, like this Ada, have lost more than one
loved one, and others have lost their only breadwinner and are facing the workhouse. Then there are those young men who have come back maimed and unable to work, reduced to begging in the streets .
. .’

‘That’s it! I – I mean, you’ve given me an idea, Dorothy. Something that I can do to help, whilst still remaining at home to be a support to Mama. I will set up a charity
to help anyone who has been damaged in any way by this war. I’ll provide funds to feed and house them, and help the maimed to make their life more bearable! Dorothy, I have no need for the
advice given by Rene, which is advice I couldn’t follow anyway after . . . Well, we won’t talk of that. My new venture will help me to bear that, too. Come on, Dorothy, we have work to
do!’

‘Oh, Lady Eloise, it would be wonderful if you could help, but what use can I be? And have you considered your father? He won’t allow this – you know he won’t. He
doesn’t like the thought of you working, unless it is something genteel like sewing cushions or knitting socks.’

‘You can be my right-hand man. I know no one better. And together we will tackle Father. But first I must plan it all, so that he can see we know what we are doing. Our first case will be
Ada. We’ll visit her and bring her some money, so that she can engage a lawyer to help save her new love. I can’t bear to think of him hanging. Rene has said that although she
didn’t witness the fracas, she believes Ada’s account of it. And if she does, then I do too, so we have to do something to help.’

Father paced up and down the upstairs sitting room, a room all the family loved because of the peace it afforded; somehow it felt detached from the hustle and bustle of the
downstairs rooms, which always felt unsettled as the servants went about their business and visitors frequented them.

A large room positioned at the back of the house, the upstairs sitting room overlooked the park. It had many windows, which displayed spectacular views and could make you forget that the house
was in London.

Furnished in the French style, with heavy furniture and a large collection of paintings on the walls, the soft decor of blush-pink and ruby velvet provided a lush, yet restful feel.

Eloise looked over at her mama, sitting quietly on one of the three sofas in the room, and felt at a loss. Mama had her head down and didn’t look as though she was going to be the champion
of Eloise’s cause that Eloise had hoped she would be.

So far Father had been very accommodating about her idea and had helped her as much as he could in raising funds and sending out a letter of appeal to all of his contacts. But now, faced with
the reality of how much involvement she personally wanted to give to the project, his objections were making her worry that he would halt her plans from progressing any further. ‘No. Eloise,
it is a ridiculous idea! I can’t have you going up to the North of England with just Dorothy to chaperone you!’

‘I have to, Daddy, otherwise all my efforts will have been for nothing.’

‘Look, my dear, I do admire the way you have planned this charity, and think that dedicating it to Andrina’s memory is a fitting tribute to her and is helping us all, by having
something positive come out of the dreadful tragedy of her loss. Plus, the money you have raised is very commendable in such a short time. Your hastily arranged garden party was a huge success, and
our friends have been most generous in their donations. It has been good to see you so occupied, but—’

‘Daddy, please! I will be safe. Dorothy will look after me, and we will be with Rene in the cottage her parents have rented for her. She has a maid with her, too. So we are not on our own.
If this is to work, I can’t just be a figurehead who raises the money. I have to see it through. I have to be seen to be supervising the projects the charity takes on. Then everyone will feel
safe, and happy to donate towards it.’

‘Look, this idea is only three weeks in the making. Carry on raising money, by all means, but wait a while before you take on any projects. This one in particular may harm your efforts.
Funding a murderer, to secure a lawyer to get him off – it will damage your credibility and mine, too.’

‘But he’s innocent, Daddy.’

‘So you believe, but what if he isn’t?’

‘He still has a right to be represented, as he would be if he was a rich person.’

‘Yes, but is he really the best person to be focusing your efforts on? Your money has been given to you in the good faith that it will be helping victims of the war.’

Eloise remained quiet for a moment. Then a solution occurred to her. ‘Very well, Father, I take your point. But I still need to go up to Leeds and then to Low Moor, to see Ada. She is
someone who has lost everything: her three sons to the war, her home to an explosion, which was due to the war. Of course very few know about that, because of the reporting restrictions necessary
to safeguard the location of the munitions factory. Nevertheless, it happened, and the devastation it has wrought is something that I can address from our funds. As for the man accused of murder, I
will personally pay for a lawyer for him, from the money Granny left me. I believe strongly in his innocence, as related to me by Rene. I can’t stand by and let him go to the gallows for
something he didn’t do.’

‘Eloise, Eloise, where has all this come from? I want my silly, empty-headed little girl back. My two silly—’

‘Oh, Daddy, don’t. Don’t!’

Hurrying to her father’s side, as did her mama, who had remained quiet throughout the debate, Eloise felt tears begin to tumble from her and asked herself,
Am I doing something wrong?
Is this new ‘me’ too much for my parents to take, so soon after their loss? One daughter gone forever and the other changed beyond recognition?

Her mama’s voice cut into her thoughts, as she spoke to her husband. ‘
Mon cher,
don’t. I know all of this is having an effect on you. It is on me, too. But we need to
be strong for Eloise. To admire her, and to support her. She is not wallowing in her grief, but turning it into strength and a desire to help others. I, for one, am standing by her and will support
her all I can.’

‘Thank you, dearest Mama, thank you.’

Her father blew his nose loudly, signalling his resignation. ‘Go with my blessing, my darling. But you are not going on the train. I will buy you a car and find you a trusted chauffeur.
That will give me some peace of mind. A male accompanying you will give you added protection. And, I will fund the lawyer . . .’

‘Oh, Daddy, thank you.’

‘No, wait while I tell you my conditions. I will need satisfying that the man is innocent. To do that, I need to have the full story. Then I will engage one of the best lawyers I know, to
talk to the accused, and to the dead man’s wife; and to anyone who had a part as a witness, or who has an opinion because they were on the scene soon afterwards; and to those who could be
character witnesses. If, after all that, my man is of the mind that the accused is innocent, then I will go ahead with the funding.’

‘They are good conditions, Daddy, and I agree to them. But everything must happen with haste. I want to go within the week, and the wheels of justice are already in motion. We have to act
quickly to make sure they turn in the right direction.’

Her father shook his head. ‘My little Eloise, you have grown into a wonderful woman and I am proud of you.’

No words could have been more musical to her ears; for her father to be proud of her made everything worthwhile. Going into his arms, and having those of her mama encircle them both, created
another poignant moment for them all, but one that spoke of hope for their future and of their ability to go forward, with just the memory of Andrina to sustain them.

As Eloise broke away and left her parents to continue to console one another, the sudden weight of what she had taken on hit her. Was she up to it? Could she – a spoilt young rich woman
– make a difference? Well, she would soon find out, but nothing would stop her from trying. She had just broken down the last threads of resistance from those who had the power to prevent her
from continuing. For her now to have their backing meant that the world was waiting for her – she hoped it was ready, because she certainly was.

France, mid-October 1916
A discovery keeps Edith lost to all

Edith had spent much of the past nine weeks living in a strange and unfamiliar world. A world that held pain and a half-life, where she functioned, but didn’t care about
anything or anyone. A world where nightmare images visited her and made her want to hide away behind the comfort of a veil, which she brought down to blot out everything whenever she chose.

The sheer guts of Petra and Aleksi had brought her through the pneumonia that she’d almost succumbed to. They had, they told her, nursed her around the clock until the crisis had passed,
washing her and her soiled linen; feeding her with drips of food that they had whisked and whisked until it became fluid; and talking to her, in an effort to encourage her to live, for her loved
ones.

Her recovery had been hindered by this foggy place that had enclosed her, which she knew was due to her mind blocking out what it couldn’t cope with. But in the moments when she could
think and allowed herself to talk and ask questions, Petra and Aleksi had avoided answering anything about the night they had found her. Until now this had suited her. But now she had an urge to
contact her family. She wanted them to know she was safe. She needed to be with them, and she needed the Red Cross to fetch her and help her to recover completely, so that she could go home and
eventually get back to her job.
That is, if I am wrong about being pregnant . . . No. I cannot even think about it. And I won’t!