All I Want For Christmas (7 page)

Ryan's daughter scampered ahead, leading Tina into a small room across from the powder room. Ryan followed.

Maggie opened the closet and took out the shopping bag. “It's a My Little Pony purse!”

To Tina's credit, she managed to look impressed. “I love it.”

His daughter broke into a grin. “Me, too. See Daddy, I told you! Girls like stuff like this. He's gonna let me wrap it all by myself, aren't you?”

Ryan nodded. Time to show Tina the hamster and get her out of here. He opened his mouth, but Maggie spoke first.

“Look, Daddy!” She pulled out a bag full of jawbreakers. “We bought these at the store today. We forgot!” She chose one for herself, then held out the sack. “Want one?”

Tina shrugged. “Sure. Thanks.”

The cellophane crinkled as she unwrapped her candy. Ryan took one, too. Sounds of pleasure issued from Tina's throat and her mouth made soft sucking sounds. From there, it didn't take much to imagine that mouth on him.

Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? Fortunately, Tina's attention was on Maggie.

“Let's go feed Eggwhite his lettuce,” Maggie said, tugging Tina's hand. “You stay downstairs, Daddy.”

Badly in need of space and a bit of time to corral his raging lust, Ryan didn't argue.

Giggling, Maggie pulled Tina toward the stairs.

As much as Ryan loved to hear that bubbling sound, the present cause of it bothered him. He watched them climb the stairs, his gaze drawn again to Tina's backside. She was wearing a hip-length maroon sweater and snug-fitting jeans.

Ryan's own jeans grew uncomfortably tight as he imagined placing his hands on her behind and pulling her against his body. Catching himself, he scowled.
Enough.
He headed for the sofa to read his paper.

But as he sank onto the cushions, Maggie shrieked, sounding extremely upset. Ryan dropped the newspaper, jumped up, and ran for the stairs.

“M
Y HAMSTER
is gone,” Maggie wailed.

Feeling helpless, Tina stood near the empty cage and patted the child's quivering little shoulder while tears rolled down her face. The cage door stood open. Apparently, Maggie had forgotten to latch it.

Within moments Ryan strode into her room, as fierce as a warrior and ready to slay whatever dragons threatened his child. For that, Tina liked him even more.

“Daddy,” she bawled, throwing herself against his legs.

After hugging her, he hunkered down and gently held her chin in one of his big hands. “What's the trouble, Maggie?”

“Look—no Eggwhite.” Maggie pointed at the cage and sobbed.

Ryan seemed to know exactly what to do, holding his daughter close, one hand cupping her head against his chest, the other patting her back. “We'll find her,” he said. “She can't have gotten far.”

Despite his spoken assurances, he looked less than certain. Tina glanced around the room, with its white wood furniture, quilted pink bedspread and matching curtains, and shook her head in despair.

At last, Ryan held his daughter at arm's length. “Try to calm down, Sunshine, and let's get busy searching. I'll check the closet. What about you?”

Sniffling, Maggie turned toward her bed. “Maybe she's under the bed.”

“Could be.” Ryan glanced at Tina. “Why don't you look behind the dresser?”

Eager to help, Tina did. They spent a good ten minutes fruitlessly searching, before Ryan narrowed his eyes and stared at the wastebasket, which had fallen over. “Eggwhite loves paper. Why don't you check the trash, Maggie?”

The little girl pawed intently but carefully through a mass of wadded-up paper and tissues. Suddenly, the white hamster scrambled from under a scrap of construction paper. Ryan caught the small creature and returned it to its cage, and the bleak expression faded from Maggie's eyes.

With the dimple in Maggie's cheek once again winking, Tina felt as if a dark cloud had disappeared. No wonder Ryan worried so about her.

“This place is a mess,” he said in a gentle voice Tina had never heard from him before. “I'll get the vacuum, and you and Tina feed Eggwhite that lettuce.”

While he retrieved the vacuum, Tina returned the trash to the wastebasket and listened to Maggie scold her pet in loving tones.

“I'm glad you found her,” she told Maggie.

“Me, too.”

Ryan returned. “It's almost bedtime. I'll clean up, and you go brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”

Without argument, his daughter headed for the bathroom.

It was nearly eight, and Tina had stayed far longer than she'd intended to. Time to go, but she couldn't leave without a good-night to Maggie. She waited until Ryan shut off the vacuum before speaking. “That was pretty emotional. Now I understand why…”

His attention jerked to the door. He shook his head in warning. An instant later, Maggie padded into the room.

She'd changed into a white flannel nightgown decorated with blue sheep. Her face was shiny and clean, and the pigtails were gone. So young to accomplish those bedtime tasks all by herself. But then, Tina, too, had grown up at an early age.

“That's a cute nightgown,” she said.

“Thank you. Daddy let me pick it out. Will you button me?” She turned her back, lifting her hair and bowing her head.

The trusting act melted Tina's heart. She breathed in Maggie's little-girl scent. Longing for a daughter of her own filled her so that her fingers trembled. “All done,” she said in a shaky voice.

Maggie turned to her. “Tuck me in tonight, Tina.”

Such a sweet, intimate request. As it was, Tina's emotions simmered dangerously close to the surface. And after what she'd just witnessed, she was afraid that regardless of her harmless intentions, Ryan was right—she would hurt the little girl when she left Halo Island.

“I'd better not,” she said. “Isn't that your Daddy's job?”

“But I want you to. Daddy doesn't mind, do you?”

Looking as torn as Tina felt, Ryan blew out a heavy breath. “As long as you understand that Tina won't be here much longer. And that usually she visits the island only at Thanksgiving and Christmas.” He paused and peered at her face. “Do you understand, Sunshine?”

“Yes, Daddy. I do.”

He gave a terse nod. “All right. Do you want Tina to read the next chapter of
Beezus and Ramona?
”

“Uh-huh. You listen, too, Daddy.” Maggie patted the bed beside her.

Tina brought a wooden, child-size chair from the table in the corner. She sat down near Maggie and opened the book. As she read, she felt the young girl's trusting eyes on her face. The way her own daughter would look at her, if she had one. What she wouldn't give for a family of her own. An ache filled her heart to breaking.

At last, Maggie's eyelids drooped. Ryan rose, and then carefully tucked the covers around her.

“Love you,” he said, planting a kiss on her forehead.

“Love you,” she echoed, before turning her head toward Tina. “I love you, too, Tina. You're my best new friend in the whole world.”

“Aw.” The backs of Tina's eyes stung, and she swallowed hard. “I love you right back.”

Stern-faced, Ryan turned on the child's night light and turned off the bedside lamp. In silence, he and Tina headed down the stairs.

“Can you stay for a minute and talk?” he asked, gesturing toward the living room.

Feeling as raw as she did, she ought to go back to her room at G. G.' s and have a good cry. But God help her, she wanted Ryan's company. Was that so wrong?

Tina nodded and sat down.

Earlier, Ryan had wanted Tina to leave. But now, with what had just happened…In her own innocent way, his daughter loved this woman, and Ryan was at a loss as to how to protect her from getting hurt. He hoped Tina had some ideas.

He sat down on a recliner across from the sofa, where Tina was seated. “You heard what Maggie said. As far as she's concerned, she loves you.” Resting his hands on his thighs, he hung his head. “That's not good, not good at all.”

“I'm very fond of her, too. She's such a special girl.”

Eyes didn't lie, and Tina's were full of feeling. Ryan couldn't stop a smirk. “Yeah, but you're leaving.” Like all the other women Maggie had loved and trusted. “What the hell am I supposed to do after you're gone?”

That day would come fast, all too fast. He thought he saw regret in Tina's face. Or was that his own wishful thinking?

“Without a mother's love, she'll gravitate toward any adult female who shows her genuine affection,” Tina said. “That's what I did. How do you think I came to know G. G. so well? But Maggie also called me her friend, and she said she understood about my leaving. Maybe she really does and you're worried unnecessarily.”

“I know my kid. No matter what she said tonight, when you leave, her heart will break. And dammit, there's not a thing I can do to stop it.”

Eyes dark with remorse, Tina shook her head. “I'm sorry, Ryan.”

He was, too. “‘Sorry' won't make this any easier on her. You've walked in Maggie's shoes. Any ideas how to help?”

“Um, maybe a child psychologist?”

The thought of his daughter pouring her heart out to some neutral third party didn't sit all that well with Ryan. “No thanks. Any other suggestions?”

“Well, I know you don't want to hear this, but Maggie needs a mother.”

As if he'd ever get married again. Liking this idea even less, he swore.

Tina winced. “I guess that's not what you wanted to hear. But it's the truth. She has all this love to give, and a deep yearning to feel a mother's love. That's why she used the L word with me.”

Tina should know. It did make sense. For a second, Ryan wished he could go back in time and comfort the lonely child Tina had been. But hell, he couldn't even do that for his own daughter.

“Could be,” he said. “But I'm through with marriage.” He looked at her straight on, to make sure she heard him. “There'll be no mother for Maggie.”

“Okay, then, what about a mother figure, a woman around my age, to spend quality time with her. It can't be me, of course, since I'm leaving…”

Her glum face told him that his hunch a second ago had been right, and she'd be sorry to leave Maggie. But Ryan was no fool. Once Tina got that promotion, she wouldn't have time to think about his daughter.

“There must be someone who lives in town who can become a regular part of her life,” Tina said.

“You think there's a woman alive who'll hang out with us, knowing I'll never date her or put a ring on her finger?” Ryan scoffed. “Not very likely.”

“You don't know if you don't look.”

He wasn't about to do that. “Risk another attachment that ends with loss? No, thanks.”

Tina let out an exasperated breath. “Why did you ask for advice, when you clearly don't want it?”

“I don't know.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Damn, but I've made some bad choices with women. I've totally screwed up Maggie's life.”

“Not with your wife. She
died
. That wasn't your fault.”

“No, but we were talking divorce at the time. Heidi was too busy climbing the corporate ladder at her law firm to care much about Maggie or me. She never even wanted kids, but I pushed her to have a baby anyway. I thought it would bring us closer together.” He snickered. “What a joke.”

He'd never told anyone that before, and he couldn't believe he'd shared something so personal with Tina. By the look of her wide eyes, she couldn't quite believe it, either. God knew what she'd think of him now.

“Everybody makes mistakes, Ryan,” she said, with a nonjudgmental tone that surprised him. “I certainly have.”

“But your mistakes didn't hurt a helpless child.”

“You're right, there. There are no children in my life.”

Her melancholy smile confused him and made his chest ache. “Why so sad?” he said.

“Nothing important. Just think about the way you were with Maggie tonight—you're a wonderful father, Ryan.”

“Then why is it she still has nightmares?” The anguish evident in his own voice should have embarrassed him, but he was too distressed to care. “I've tried everything—talking them through and explaining that the monsters and bad people aren't real, promising to keep her safe, leaving the lights on. Nothing works.”

“Hey, you.” Suddenly, Tina was standing beside him, and resting her hand on his shoulder. “Don't beat yourself up about this.”

Her touch reassured him and eased the tension that had tied knots in his muscles. He covered her hand with his own. And when she tried to move away, he kept hold of her. “Sit here.” He pulled her onto the arm of the recliner.

She swiveled to face him, her eyes large and luminous. So beautiful that once again he lost himself in them. He cleared his throat. Let go of her hand. “Tell me about your interview. When is it?”

“This Thursday, which was totally unexpected. I've had to scramble to get help for G. G. The Rosses and Rose and Stanley and Norma have agreed to take turns and stay with her. She doesn't want that, of course. Says she can take care of herself. But she's too weak and in too much pain.” She stared at her lap. “I really don't want to leave her, but she insists that I go. She's more excited about this opportunity than…Well, she can hardly stand it.”

“And you? Are you excited?” he asked, truly curious to know.

“Not really. It's just an interview.”

“Nervous?”

She shook her head. “My boss knows my work, and he knows me. But there are others who are just as qualified. One in particular, Kendra Eubanks. You never know.”

“But you want that job, right?”

“Of course I do.”

She stood and fingered the V-neck of her sweater, then sat down on the sofa again.

Ryan figured she must be worried about her competition. “You'll get it.”

“What makes you think so?”

“You're smart and confident, and everyone on the island says you're great at what you do. And you want it. A boss can sense that hunger to get ahead.”

“G. G. and the neighbors really want me to succeed.”

She wouldn't meet his eyes.
Interesting.

“And you don't?”

“I said I did.” She crossed her legs. “How are things at the bank?”

“So-so.” He told her about the deposit-and-loan promotion and his staff's low morale. “The fools at head office don't seem to understand that if their employees are unhappy, the customers will be, too.”

“Sort of like Maggie being happy if you're happy.”

“I guess.”

He wanted badly to kiss the knowing slant right off her mouth. With effort he dragged his gaze away from those lips.

“You don't like working there, do you?”

“Not much,” he said, before he could stop himself. “That's between you and me, and no one else.”

“I won't say anything. But you don't need the money, so why don't you quit?”

“What would I do all day? Besides, I enjoy banking. My beef is with the Island Banking Corporation.”

“What a shame there aren't other banks on the island.”

“There would be, if I started another one.”

A fantasy he'd kept to himself until now. Not only had he shared that tidbit, but he'd revealed private information about himself and Heidi—and he'd admitted he disliked his job.

What had gotten into him tonight?

“That's a great idea,” Tina said. “You certainly have the know-how to start another bank.”

“Yes, but start-ups take a huge chunk out of your life, for months on end. I can't do that to Maggie.”

Tina yawned, and Ryan glanced at his watch. Almost eleven. Nearly three hours had passed—a heck of a lot more time than he'd meant to spend with her.

“It's late,” she said, standing. “We both need sleep.”

Ryan stood, too—and thought about sleeping with Tina. But if that happened, lust would actually keep him up most of the night. Emphasis on
up
. He stifled a smile. With or without Tina in his bed, he was in for a restless night.

At the door, she turned to him.

“You should've seen your face when you mentioned starting a bank, Ryan. You lit up. Don't let go of what you really want. For you and for Maggie, be happy.”

With her chin tilted and her eyes bright with conviction, she was irresistible. Powerless to fight his own instincts, he stroked her soft, warm cheek with his thumb. “Know what'd make me happy right now? Kissing you.”

“I'd like that, too.” Her eyelids fluttered shut. She leaned forward, raised her face and offered him her lips.

R
YAN'S ARMS
felt like heaven. Tina had known he'd wanted to kiss her for hours, since they'd first sat down to talk. She'd seen the desire in his eyes, and shared it.

This kiss was even better than the ones the other night, and when his lips demanded more, she opened her mouth and tangled her tongue with his. He tasted faintly of jawbreaker and man, a combination that only fueled her hunger for him.

She was wearing a V-neck sweater, and when he nuzzled and nipped the sensitive place at the crook of her neck she was glad she'd chosen it. Yearning to get even closer, she stood on her toes, grasped his shoulders and pressed against him. His chest was pleasantly hard against her breasts, and she felt his arousal against her hips.

Then, thank you, Lord, Ryan's hands were under the sweater. His palms slid up her back, bringing heat to her skin. When he reached her bra, he slid his fingertips across her rib cage, teasing the undersides of her breasts. Tina caught her breath, eased back ever so slightly and silently urged him to explore her breasts.

He cupped her gently, while his thumbs brushed her nipples. Pleasure shot through her and went straight to the apex of her thighs. Dampness pooled there, along with an aching need. Moaning softly, she arched her chest, thrusting her breasts more heavily into his hands.

Just when her knees threatened to buckle, it was over. Breathing hard, his eyes wild and hot, Ryan broke the contact. With unsteady hands, he pulled down her sweater.

“Good night, Tina, and good luck on Thursday.”

Thursday? Oh, the interview.
“Thanks,” she managed. “'Night.”

In a daze she headed back to G. G.' s house.

B
Y THE TIME
the bank closed on Tuesday afternoon, Ryan was feeling as good as a man could, given that he was sexually frustrated and his daughter was suffering from nightmares. She'd had two bad dreams last night, no doubt triggered by Eggwhite's escape. Ryan hoped that with the hamster safe in her cage, Maggie would have an easier time tonight.

Nightmares aside, today he'd actually enjoyed his job. The first day of the bank promotion had gone well. His staff had worked hard and brought in more new business than expected. That ought to please Corporate.

Now, with the doors closed, Ryan strode from his office, his footsteps echoing through the empty space. Serena and Danielle were counting money at their teller stations, which they'd decorated with cardboard turkeys and horns of plenty, in honor of Thanksgiving. Jason sat at his desk, filling out the usual reams of paperwork.

“Great job today,” he told his employees.

All three of them looked pleased.

“Thanks to the signs and the newspaper ads, we sure were busy,” Jason said. “For once, Corporate did something right.”

Ryan had to agree. Island Banking Corporation had come through for them. But the credit for this first successful day belonged to his staff. “Advertising helped, but you three did the hard work. You're a crackerjack team, and I intend to let my superiors know just how valuable you are.”

“They won't care.” Danielle tucked her shoulder-length hair behind her ears and shrugged. “But I appreciate that you do.” She nodded at the bowl of lollipops on the customer side of her teller window. “Want a sucker, Ryan?”

“Thanks.” He helped himself.

“Hooray, I balanced,” Serena said, loading her rubber-banded stacks of cash into a bag. “Did you and Maggie do anything special yesterday?”

“Just hung out together.”