All In (27 page)

I shut my eyes and let my favorite
memories flood my mind. Grandma singing softly as she washed dishes
in the sink while Grandpa whistled along, in perfect harmony,
drying them off. Sitting on Mom’s lap as a child while she read me
bed time stories, no matter how tired she was from a long day at
work, or from having to be both parents for me. And then Ashley,
smiling, with her legs propped up on the window and her feet
dangling in the air on our trip home from Boston. Carefree and in
love.

He’s right. I’d bet all the money in
the world for just one of those moments, let alone them
all.

I open my eyes and try to clear the
lump from my throat, but it’s no use. I give up and wrap my arms
around him like a child. Unrestrained.

“I’ll make memories for the both of
us, Grandpa,” I whisper against his shoulder, a single tear running
down my face as well.

“Ahhhh, that’s my boy,” he says,
hugging me back. “That’s my boy.”

Ashley

The last two weeks have been a total
blur of visits with Andrew in the hospital, time spent with my
parents and packing to move away from home for the next year of my
life. But today’s the day.

I toss my very last bag into the
backseat then give my parents one last hug, trying to hold back my
tears, but failing miserably, then hop in the car.

The half day drive flies by in a flash
of nervousness and excitement, and as I turn the corner onto the
tree lined street, flanked by century old brick dormitories and
grassy lawns, I let myself hope this will be a new
beginning.

I step out of the car and clutch the
keys tight in my hand as my heart beats double time in my chest. As
I walk toward the freshman dorms, I’m surrounded by ivy covered
brick buildings and students milling around, laughing and studying.
It’s so beautiful. I can definitely see myself here, happy.
Saturday afternoon’s lying in the grass, being tucked into a big
leather chair in the library reading, or drinking hot chocolate
inside a small dorm room, watching fresh snow blanket the campus. A
home away from home.

I stop short of the front entrance to
the dormitory when I find exactly what I’m looking for just
outside. I take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves while I steal
an uninterrupted moment to look at him, his back propped up against
an old oak tree engrossed in a book.

Lane.

I can’t wait a second longer; I’ve
already waited too long.

“Hey, Eli?” I call out across the
grassy yard, “I think this is yours.” I swing a set of car keys
around my index finger and smile at the boy I love.

Lane raises his head, and just like
that, all my nervous energy is gone, replaced with an overwhelming
feeling of peace when our eyes meet. I’m exactly where I’m supposed
to be and who I’m supposed to be with.

With a cautious smile on his face, he
shuts the book and drops it to the ground before standing up, our
eyes never leaving one another.

“You’re here.” He takes a tentative
step forward then stops and I have to keep myself from running into
his arms. “I’ve…looked for you on campus every since I got here,”
he admits, shoving his hands into his pockets, his eyes
vulnerable.

Here it goes.

“I actually just stopped by because
you left something at home that belongs to you.”

He looks confused. “I didn’t even have
a bedroom, all of my belongings fit into two duffle bags and one
cardboard box. What could I have possibly left behind?”

“Me?” I say, biting my lip.

Lane stands as still as a statue,
staring at me in silence for what feels like forever. Then, in a
whirl of movement, he closes the space between us, picks me up and
spins me around, exactly the same way he did at the ferry dock
before our trip to Boston.

The feeling of being in his arms again
is indescribable, and I never want this feeling to go away again.
Ever.

“I’m so sorry, Lane,” I whisper as he
sets me down. “Can you ever forgive me?”

He cups my face in his hands, his eyes
fastened on mine, and then, without a word, I get the answer I was
hoping for. Lane pushes his hands into my hair and pulls me into a
kiss that tells me everything I need to know.

“I love you so much,” Lane murmurs
against my lips and then again and again after each kiss he leaves
on my cheeks, along my jaw, down my neck and back up again, until
finally our foreheads are pressed together and we’re both out of
breath.

“I love you too,” I whisper before
pressing our lips together again. “I love you too.”

I loop my arms around his
neck, unintentionally causing the keys in my hand to jingle, and a
silly grin spreads across my face. “Oh yeah,” I say, so swept away
in the moment I almost forgot his real surprise. “I wasn’t
the
only
thing
you left at home.” I hand him the key ring with the L and A
dangling amongst the keys. “Here.” I smile.

“Wow, my keys. I hadn’t even thought
about them, guess I figured they were burned up or sitting in some
junk yard with what was left of my car.” He shrugs. “Thank you.” He
rubs his thumb across the brand new shiny gold letter A until
slowly it dawns on him that the old letters were silver.
“Wait…these aren’t my keys,” he says, with the cutest confused look
on his face.

“Are you sure about that?” I wink then
step out of his way, giving him a clear view to where I just parked
his car.

I hear him suck in a sharp breath and
then nothing. Total silence. I look at him, worried by his complete
stillness, but all my worries disappear when I see his face. He’s
lit up like the fourth of July.

“What? I mean…what?” he stammers,
slack jawed and I can’t help but laugh.

Wide eyed and speechless Lane walks
slowly down the sidewalk. He tosses me a look over his shoulder
before stopping in front of the cherry red convertible, an almost
exact match to his old car.

“But how?”

“My dad wanted to find a way to say
thank you for what you did for Andrew. He and Grandpa Frank went
into Boston last weekend to get it for you,” I say, bouncing on my
toes.

“Your dad did this…for me?” he asks
bewildered. “And he took Grandpa?”

I nod smiling. “Dad said they had a
great time. He even let Grandpa Frank drive it for a little bit on
the way home. It was only on a side road, but you should have heard
Grandpa Frank bragging about driving when they got back. Irene was
so mad she smacked my dad repeatedly on the arm while your mom and
I couldn’t stop laughing. Grandpa Frank just sat in his favorite
chair smiling. It was priceless.”

“You and my mom?” Lane asks, his eyes
suddenly glossy. “And Grandpa Frank and Irene?”

“They’re so proud of you, Lane. We all
are.”

He clears his throat and blinks back
his emotions. “Thank you,” he says, taking my hand in his. “And
please thank your father. This is too much.”

“Well, you have exactly twelve hours
before he comes to get me, so you can thank him
yourself.”

“Wait. Comes and gets you?” Lane’s
simple question is laced with sadness as his shoulders slump. “But
I just got you back. Where are you going?”

I try to put on my best poker face,
but I can hardly keep the smile at bay.

“Boston.”

I watch as his face slowly lights up
with understanding. “You got in?” he asks so loudly it’s almost a
shout.

I nod my head, smiling from ear to
ear, and just like that, I’m back up off the ground and spinning
again.

“You got in! Whoo hooo!” Lane shouts
while I giggle uncontrollably in his arms.

“Hey! Shut it up down
there, some of us are trying to study. This
is
Yale,” someone yells from a dorm
room window above us, before slamming it shut.

Lane and I both fall into the grass,
dizzy and laughing. “You got in,” he says again, this time so quiet
it’s almost a whisper. “I’m so proud of you. I knew you could do
it.”

“I found out the day after the
accident. I wanted to call and tell you so badly but…” I trail off
remembering how confused and upset I’d felt at the time.

“It’s okay, baby, I understand,” he
says, and the way he smiles at me, I know he means it.

“It took me a few days to get up the
courage to tell my parents, but when I did they weren’t mad at all.
They were really proud of me actually.” I pick at the grass
thinking about the days following the accident, stuck in that tiny
hospital room hoping and praying with my parents that Andrew would
recover. “We really talked for the first time in years, about my
hopes and dreams for the future, especially about dancing. I think
the thought of losing Andrew made us all realize life is too short.
We agreed to work harder on building a relationship where we can be
open and honest with one another, and I haven’t felt this close to
my parents since I was a kid. It was amazing, Lane.”

“Wow. That is amazing. I’m so happy
for you, baby.” Lane tucks a stray curl behind my ear then leans in
and gives me a soft peck that leaves me wanting more.

“A peck? You did hear me, right? I
only have twelve hours before I have to leave,” I say with a flirty
smile.

I’ve missed feeling his arms wrapped
around me, and his lips on mine, and I don’t want to wait another
second. I want to be with him, alone.

Before I can say another word I’m
whipped up off the ground and hoisted over Lane’s shoulder.
Apparently, I’m not the only one who wants to be alone. With blood
rushing to my head, I kick my legs in the air and squeal, happier
than I have ever been as he runs with me up the walk and into his
dormitory.

There will be plenty of time to figure
out which weekends he’ll come to visit me in Boston and which
weekends I’ll come here and spend lazy Saturday afternoons in the
grass, or reading in the library, or drinking hot cocoa in the
winter, but the one thing I know for sure is I’ll be doing them
with Lane.

Lane

“Franklin Lane McCarthy.”

I take a deep breath then step onto
the stage. The dean of students hands me my diploma and shakes my
hand simultaneously, his firm grip helping me to feel grounded. I
did it. Yale. Summa cum laude.

The flash of a camera leaves me with
spots in my eyes that I try and blink away while I continue to walk
across the stage. When I can finally see clearly again, I look out
into the audience and find my family easily.

They’re all standing and clapping
excitedly as I scan each of their faces, knowing without them, I
couldn’t be here today, graduating with honors.

Grandpa Frank is in a wheelchair now,
but Irene has helped him stand for this moment. Even though he is
shaky on his feet, he still claps with as much vigor as anyone else
in the room, and I feel as proud as he looks that I am his
namesake.

My mother smiles at him and then back
at me, making her rosy cheeks even rounder and glowing. She looks
ready to give birth to my little brother any minute and it’s
clearly making Sam nervous. He has one arm around her lower back
and another resting on her belly protectively. I smile at the sight
of them, happy that she found true love with such an amazing man, a
man who has become a real father to me.

Next to Sam, Andrew and his wife, the
‘little missus’ as he loves to call her, whistle and holler my
name, making me laugh. I can’t believe it was only three years ago
that I watched them cross this same stage when they graduated. It
feels like just yesterday.

Next to them, Mrs. Whitmore stands
with a tissue clutched in one hand, dabbing at her tears while
holding her husband’s hand in her other. Mr. Whitmore wears a proud
smile, giving me a nod of congratulations before he wraps his arm
around his daughter’s shoulder.

Ashley. My Ashley.

Right now, I imagine she feels the way
I did last weekend when I stood with an entire theater and gave her
a standing ovation for her first principal performance with the
company. She was breathtaking, but to me, she always is.

Her smile is bright, and her eyes are
glossy when she lifts her hand to her lips, opens her palm and
blows me a kiss. I reach into the air and grab it, my diploma
gripped tightly in my other hand, making her giggle. I pull the
kiss, folded safely in my fist, against my chest and place it over
my heart and the tiny ring box that’s tucked away in the suit
jacket under my graduation robes.

Tonight. I’m all in.
Forever.

The End

I must thank three very special people
without who All In could not exist.

Thank you to my amazing editor Taryn
Albright, whose insight, sharp eye, and green pen helped shape All
In into a better story than I could have ever hoped for.

To my mother, whose unwavering faith
in me has given me the courage to pursue this dream, and every
other dream I have ever had.