All In: Raising the Stakes (13 page)

Okay, something’s definitely wrong. His texts are usually a combination of emoticons ordered in various naughty ways. The fact that whatever it is he needs to say has to be in person and not by phone is also concerning. The gnawing sensation of dread churns in my stomach.

"Hey, Beth. I've got to run. Can you finish up here?" I ask the other prosecutor sitting beside me at the state's table.

"Sure. No problem, Joe. But you shouldn’t worry about that shit. It’s not a big deal,” she says with an assuring pat on my shoulder.

Ah, what the fuck?

“What shit?” I ask.

Her mouth falls open as she blinks at me and then she shakes her head. “Nothing, sorry. Go, I’ve got this.”

Now I know I’m not crazy, because everyone is watching me leave the goddamn courtroom.

“Kim, do you know if Katie’s in?” I ask the DA’s secretary at the front desk instead of trying to hunt her down.

“Right now she’s meeting with a sexual assault victim,” she says, nodding to one of the closed conference room doors.

Shit. I can’t even think of interrupting that.

“When you see her, will you tell her I had to head out and to call me when she’s free?”

“Will do,” she says with a small smile.

In my car on the way home, I loosen my tie. The damn thing feels like it’s choking me. Or maybe that’s this bizarre worry that something is seriously wrong.

Chad’s already there, standing against his Camaro when I pull up. He looks…disheveled. Hair sticking up, no tie, sleeves up to his elbows, all before ten a.m.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask as soon as I get around the car.

“We’re out,” he says stiffly between clenched teeth.

“Out of what?” I ask in confusion.

“Out
out
!” he exclaims. “Everyone fucking knows about us!”

No. No way.

“How?” I ask as my heart starts to race.

Pulling his phone from his pants pocket, he scrolls through and then hands it to me with a text message up on the screen.

“
Sorry, ladies, but you can give up on trying to snag Superman and Captain America since rumor has it they only give it up for each other
.”

“I’ve already got a call from my sister,” Chad says while I reread the words over and over. “She saw it on Facebook or some shit with our real names, and so did my parents. Abby said Mom is crying and my dad is pissed because they had to hear that I fuck men from their friends and not me!” 

“Son of a bitch,” I groan, running my fingers through my hair as I try to wrap my head around a few words that change everything in my life. All the consequences of this shit.

“It was Katie,” Chad says. “It had to be. Who the fuck else knows about us other that Lacy and Will?” I shake my head automatically, not wanting to believe it. “Joe, if she told just one person, one friend who told another friend…I’m not saying she sent the text to everyone in town, but she’s the source. And now everyone knows! Everyone at work. My family. I’m so fucked that I don’t even know where to start doing damage control.”

“Oh God,” I mutter, and have to brace a hand on the hood of his car when the weight of it all hits me. I’ve been fucking a man, and the embarrassment I felt when it was a secret is nothing compared to the mortification I feel now. What the hell was I thinking? I should’ve known it would get out. It only takes one person…

“You regret it,” Chad says.

“Fuck yes I regret it! I never wanted anyone to know!”

“Too late thanks to you and her!” he yells and reaches for his car door. “Let me save you the trouble of telling me we’re over. I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

…

Katie

“Hey, how are you holding up?” Vick asks when she steps into my office.

“Um, great, why?”

“Oh. Well, I thought you’d be upset.”

“Why would I be upset?” This is the best I’ve felt in a long time.

“Oh God, you don’t know?” she asks.

“Know what?”

“The rumor that Joe’s gay, sweetie. He didn’t tell you?”

“What?” I exclaim, coming out of my seat.

“Everyone’s talking about it. Apparently someone’s claiming that he and Chad Flanagan are a, uh, you know, a couple.”

“No, no, no.” This can’t be happening.

“Don’t worry. Most people will assume it’s bullshit and it’ll die down in a few days. I mean, you’re still sleeping with him, right? There’s no way he’d be, you know…”

When my phone rings I know who it is before I answer.

“Joe? I’m-“

“How could you?” he interrupts. “I trusted you.”

“I’m sorry-”

“Everyone in the fucking city knows now, that’s why I begged you not to say anything!”

“But, Joe…”

“I’m taking some time off, and I don’t know when I’ll be back. Chad’s pissed at you and angry at me for dragging him into this shit. His fucking family already knows before he was able to tell them. Everyone in court this morning was staring at me, knowing I’ve been with a man, probably wondering if I top or bottom or if I suck cock. It was no one’s fucking business! God, I just…I don’t know what the fuck to do.” And without letting me explain, he hangs up on me while the tears stream down my face.

Joe

I barely refrain from slamming my head against the steering wheel over and over again on the way to Charlotte. Thank God they’re home when I pull up, since I didn’t bother calling first. I couldn’t get out of my fucked up head long enough to use the phone.

Will opens the front door and lets me in without a word, his face full of pity. Great, news travels faster than I thought. Lacy steps out of her bedroom at the same time, her blonde hair up and messy, wearing her fleece snowflake pajamas. Her light blue top barely covers her growing belly. She looks even bigger than she did when I last saw her just a few days ago, which is good. Hopefully the baby’s growing in case it comes early. A baby that may not be mine, and if not…I’ll lose Lacy for good. Like I may have lost Chad. And Katie…I don’t even know where this leaves us.

I drop to my knees and lay my head against her bump, spreading my palms flat on both sides. It doesn’t take but a few seconds to feel him or her move. It’s incredible, knowing there’s a tiny person bouncing around inside her.

“I tried to call you. How are you holding up, Joe?” Lacy asks, combing her hands through my hair. I can only shake my head in response.

“It’ll be okay,” she says reassuringly, but my eyes burn knowing it’s a lie. Trusting the one person I’ve wanted for so long, finally getting her, and watching everything fall apart is too much with all that’s going on with the baby. 

“I can’t lose you,” I tell Lacy.

“You won’t,” she replies, but despite what she says, I’ll be left behind when they become a family. Hours apart but a lifetime away from what they’ll have here. “Come on. I need to get back in bed. We can cuddle there.”

Getting to my feet, I follow her to their room, knowing every second I’m here will make it that much harder to let her go when I’m alone again, but right now I’m too stupid to care.

…

Katie

              I’d talked to almost every woman in the courthouse, listening to them gossip incessantly about the man I was falling in love with being gay. How they’d love to be a fly on the wall when he’s with Chad. My heart breaks a little more for both men with each word, but still I listen and ask questions. Since they all believe I’m the ‘victim’ of this new revelation, they talk freely to me. Finally, later in the afternoon, I get a name. Hoping this is it, I put one of our small digital recorders in my purse and walk over to Chad’s office. It’s a large firm and I’ve never been inside the tall structure in the middle of downtown, just a few blocks from the courthouse. After asking the receptionist to see Leah, she sends me to the far side of the building.

The assistant’s desk is across from another set of elevators with Chad’s name plate beside an office directly behind her. His door is open but the room is dark. I wonder if he’s with Joe, and where they both are. I’d almost bet Joe went to Charlotte to see Lacy. My chest hurts, wondering if he’ll sleep with her.

“Hi, can I help you?” the oh-so-helpful assistant asks.

“Hey, I’m Katie Albright. I was hoping to find Chad. Do you know where he is?”

She gasps and gnaws on her slutty looking, red, painted lips. “I’m so sorry. I heard you were dating Joe, but not anymore I bet…” She’s right, because he thinks I’m the one that outted him and Chad.

“What? Oh, Joe and I are fine,” I lie. “That ridiculous rumor about him and Chad is completely unfounded. I mean, I know for a fact that he definitely doesn’t swing that way, if you know what I mean.”

She winces and hisses. “Oh, you poor thing. I hate to tell you this, but he actually does.”

“He-he does? How would you know? Because I was intimate with him… just last night.” I mix a little truth in with the acting to make it seem more believable.

“He really does, honey,” she says, leaning forward to the point her much too inappropriate for the office cleavage is about to fall out of her blouse. “I saw them together,” she whispers.

“You-you did?” I ask.

“Joe was here ‘visiting’ Chad the other day. When he left his pants were unzipped, and when I went into Chad’s office he was slumped in one of his guest chairs in the same state of undress. I actually saw his cock hanging out!”

“Oh my God!” I pull out what little acting ability I’m capable of. “So, you’re the one who told everyone because you saw it first hand?” I hold my breath for her answer.

“Oh yeah. I mean, I didn’t want you, or any other women, wasting time when they are obviously ‘together’.”

“Great, thank you!” I say, walking over to hit the elevator call button. I pull the recorder out from my purse and see it’s still ticking. After hitting the stop button, I replay the last recording and fast-forward until the end. Our voices are loud in the quiet office.

Oh my God! So you’re the one who told everyone because you saw it first hand?

Oh yeah. I mean, I didn’t want you, or any other woman, wasting time when they were obviously ‘together.’

“Perfect,” I say as I wave goodbye to the awestruck assistant and take the elevator down to the lobby.

Now I just need to find Chad and see if Candice can work late tonight. After she assures me she can stay until whenever I get home, I do an online search for Chad Flanagan, hoping his private address is listed. Thank goodness it is. He lives in a really nice apartment downtown near his office. When I find a place to park, I walk inside and take the elevator up to the fourth floor, apartment 4B, and knock.

Chad opens the door wearing nothing but navy blue sweats, holding a beer bottle in his free hand. The normally professional, put together man looks...lost. Realizing it's me, he squares his broad shoulders and his golden jaw clenches. "Did you do it on purpose to cut me out of his life? If so, congratu-fucking-lations, it worked." His speech is slurred and the smell of alcohol is emanating strongly from him. He's devastated that not only is his secret out, but apparently, Joe also ended things between them.

"I'm sorry everyone found out, but it wasn't me. I swear I didn't say a word to anyone."

His gray eyes narrow in disbelief. "Then who the fuck was it? Because no one else-"

I reach in my purse and hit play.      

Oh my God. So you’re the one who told everyone because you saw it first hand?

Oh yeah. I mean, I didn’t want you, or any other woman, wasting time when they were obviously ‘together.’

“Motherfucker,” Chad mutters, immediately recognizing the voice. “That bitch. She is so fucking fired. Our firm has a strict no gossiping policy. Can I get a copy of that?” he asks, nodding to the recorder.

“Sure. I can download it and email the file to you.”

“Thanks,” he says with a sigh. “I guess I owe you an apology.”

“It’s okay,” I assure him. “Of course you and Joe would think it was me, it makes sense.”

Chad winces. “He didn’t at first, but I may have persuaded him that you were the most likely culprit.”

“Well, hopefully when I explain and play this for him, he’ll know the truth.”

“Yeah,” he says, resting his forehead on his arm that’s gripping the doorframe. “Too bad the truth won’t do me any good.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him honestly. “I wouldn’t try to push you out of his life. You mean a lot to him, even if he doesn’t admit it or understand it himself.”

“It took months to get him to open his eyes, and now with just a few words…”

“This doesn’t have to change anything.”

“Bullshit. There’s no way he’ll let people think he’s gay.”

“Because he’s not, and you’re not. Why can’t the three of us be together and you both just be openly bisexual? Fuck everyone and their opinions. If you’re willing to give up your happiness because you’re scared of what other people think, then both of you are idiots.”

He smiles before pulling me against him in a one-armed hug, since he’s still holding his beer. “He’s lucky to have you, and I think I am, too.”

“There’s plenty of room in my life and my bed for both of you,” I tell him as I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his bare chest. “So are you ready to go to Charlotte and convince Joe that this can work?”

“Hell yes. Let me get dressed. But you’ll have to drive because I am
so
drunk,” he says, making me laugh.             

…

Joe

“We haven’t…not since you and him…” I hear Lacy’s voice as I come awake in her and Will’s bed after a midday nap. The kind of nap where you fall into such a deep sleep that when you come to you don’t know if it’s day or night or how fucking long you’ve been out. Hell, maybe the rumor that I’m gay is all just part of that dream.

“I thought that he still might want to be with you, even after…”

Now I’m pretty sure I must be dreaming when I hear Katie’s voice.

“He’s only wanted you, even from the beginning. I was just a stand-in.” At Lacy’s confession, I open my eyes to figure out what the fuck’s going on. Katie and Lacy are sitting on the foot of the bed facing each other, both of their heads turned to look at me.

“Are you two gonna kiss now? Cause that would be really hot,” I joke with them.

“Maybe next time,” Lacy says with a smile and a shake of her head before she gets up and leaves.

“I didn’t tell anyone,” Katie says right off the bat.

“You didn’t?” I ask. “Not even Victoria? Because you’re the only one-”

“It was Chad’s assistant, Leah. I have her admission recorded. She saw you leave Chad’s office with your pants open and then Chad’s in the same state…”

“Oh shit.”

As soon as she says the words I remember the day before we left for the conference. I’d gone to his office…Leah told me my fly was open and apparently went into Chad’s office that I left open.

“Fuck.” It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have gone in there because I knew exactly what I wanted when I did. And now we’re both out because of it. I owe Chad an apology and need to make sure he knows it wasn’t Katie. How could I have doubted her so easily? The look on her face now still shows the hurt my accusation caused her. “I’m sorry, Katie Kat. I should’ve known you wouldn’t.” Sitting up, I reach for her and pull her down to the mattress wrapped in my arms, just holding her. She snuggles up to me, fitting perfectly.

“I need to talk to Chad,” I finally say into the silence.

“He’s here.”

“He is?” I ask in surprise.

“Yeah, how do you think I found you?”

“So…he’s not pissed at us?”

“Of course not. And you can’t just push him away because of what some bitch told everyone. He’s a part of your life, like Lacy and Will. I get that now.”

“You do?”

“Uh-huh.” She nods against my chest. “Why didn’t you tell me you don’t have any other family?”

Family. Yeah, I guess Lacy, Will, and Chad are the closest thing I’ve ever had to a family. A threesome and a homosexual relationship are the components of my fucked up family.

“What is there to tell? That I was raised in a children’s home because my parents didn’t want me? That I spent two years in foster care until they had their own kids and they returned me to the home? That by that time I was school-aged, older than the babies most families were looking for, so that’s where I lived until I could legally leave on my own? I don’t want the pity, because that shit is absolutely worthless to me now.”

“It’s not pity, Joe. It’s empathy. I want to know because I care about you. You shouldn’t be embarrassed by your past. You should be proud of the fact that despite how terrible your life started, you’ve done better than most people could ever dream of. I know how tough it was to get into law school. How expensive. It’s not an easy feat to accomplish, but you did it all on your own. That just makes you even more amazing.”

“I don’t feel very amazing.”

“You are. And this rumor will go away soon, and things can go back to normal. Even if it doesn’t, we can still be together; me, you and him, if that’s what you want.”

“You think so?” I ask, wondering if it’s really that easy. Over the years nothing seems to have come easily.

“Yes. That’s what Chad and I want. Forget what people think and let’s keep doing what makes us happy. So will you please come back to Greensboro with me and Chad tonight? I need to get home soon, so that Candice can leave.”

“Okay,” I finally agree, since being with both of them tonight is where I want to be. “I want to do this, and I don’t care who knows, because I’m falling in love with both of you.”