All In: Raising the Stakes (4 page)

Not only do I have a massive garden tub, but the shower is a huge glass cube with a showerhead on each end and a bench down the middle. Combined with the double sinks, it was clear this bathroom was built for a married couple so they could each have their own space.

When I pull open the glass door and step inside, Chad does a double take over his shoulder, pausing in mid-scrub of his chest. Usually the only time I shower at the same time as him is when I want a blowjob.

"What?" I ask when I turn on my own faucet. Even though my back's to him I can still feel his stare.         

"Nothing."

After I turn around, he asks, "Was Tyler calling you about one of your cases?"

"Nope. One of Katie's," I reply, unable to prevent my smile.

"Katie's case?" he repeats with a chuckle. "You two finally manage to have a conversation more than the usual,
fuck off you cocky bastard
?" 

"We did."

"So that's why you're in such a good mood tonight."

I give a noncommittal shrug even though we both know it's bullshit. On the inside I'm giddier than I was the night I finally lost my virginity. There was no time for dating until I got to college. When I had free time instead of working my ass off for the first time in my life, I started going to the campus gym and working out. Within a few weeks I was suddenly an actual blip on girls' radar. They began approaching me, even though I was a poor, socially awkward dork with my nose always in a book even when I was running on the treadmill. It was intimidating, having never even made out with anyone, when suddenly this girl Sara took me back to my car and fucked me after our first date at the movie theater. I was a fumbling idiot, not knowing what or how to touch her. I busted a nut before she could sit all the way down on my cock. My mind was blown. All I knew was that I liked it and wanted more. Even at eighteen, I hadn't spent much time masturbating. It was hard to find the time between school and work. When my head hit the pillow for a few hours each night, I was usually too exhausted to even think about jerking off. 

Sara was thankfully patient and didn't laugh at my inexperience. She probably felt sorry for me. We dated the whole first semester of my freshman year until she went home during the Christmas break and got back together with her high school boyfriend. The only time in my life that I actually felt...connected to another human being was when I was intimate with her. So when she broke up with me, I was crushed. I didn't date anyone else for months because I couldn't imagine going through that shit all over again. Actually, that was my last –“normal” long-term relationship. The only one before the threesome I have with Lacy and Will, and the secret affair with a man.

So yeah, even though Katie's still completely out of reach, it felt good to be able to talk to her and help her out today, showing her I'm not the asshole she thinks I am. Hell, it's great to have any sort of interaction with her even when she hurls her feisty insults at me. But I'm not getting my hopes up that she'll ever actually give me a chance. The hope is always there, just now I'm trying to be more realistic.

"Mind if I stay tonight?" Chad asks, snapping me back to the present. The one where I'm naked, taking a shower with a man. 

"Aren't you worried someone might see your car in my driveway?" I counter, even though I don't mind him sleeping here. He hasn’t in months, not since that one weekend with Lacy and Will. We’ve both spent several weekends with them down in Charlotte.                

"You don't have any neighbors."

"True." The closest residence is half a mile back toward town. "I don't have to spoon with you, do I?" I tease. "And Lacy always gave me shower blowjobs the mornings after she stayed with me."

"No spooning required, only forking," he replies with a smirk. "And I'll blow you in the morning, but from now on, every time I suck your dick, you have to fuck me."

"What?" I exclaim, slicking my wet hair back off my face. "No way."

"It's called quid pro quo, fucker. I've tried to be patient and not rush you before you were ready, but admit it, you wanted to fuck me tonight and you liked it. You know I liked it. So what's the problem? It's time for you to stop half-assing this shit. No pun intended."

I run my palms over my face, wiping the water away from my eyes while trying to figure out my response. "Yes, I...liked it, but I wasn't planning for this to be a repeat occurrence. Or long term."

"Hell, I wasn't either," he says, bracing his back against his side of the shower. "But as long as I'm not seeing anyone, and you're not seeing anyone, then why not fuck instead of watch reruns of shit shows when we hang out every night?"

"I miss having a woman," I say honestly.

"Fuck man, I do too." He laughs. "At least Lacy would blow me. We should go to Charlotte this weekend. Is it wrong that I think her pregnant belly is hot?"

"Can't. Well, you can go see them if you want, but I have to go to a conference. And I swear I get hard every time I think about her being knocked up with my baby."

"
Your
baby?" he asks with a grin.

"More likely my baby than your baby, statistically speaking," I reply.

"Thank God. But it's more likely Will's baby than your baby."

"Yeah, I know." And I'm a bastard for wanting it to be mine and not his. I'll just add that to the growing list of things that make me a seriously fucked up asshole.

"They're not gonna kick you out of their life if it's not," he says, being way more perceptive than I like.

"Babies change things..."

"Yeah, they do, but it could be in a good way."

I shake my head unconvinced. Chad pushes off his side of wall, and then he's inches away from me, grabbing the back of my neck to make me look him in the eye. Until we're toe to toe, it's easy to forget he's actually a couple of inches taller than me. "They both love you, Will probably not as much as Lacy, but they do. That's not gonna change, so stop worrying."

"I hate feeling like I'm, I don't know, an officious intermeddler in their life." The asshole smiles at me while I'm baring the concerns of my soul to him. "What?" I ask indignantly, my palms pushing against his damp chest to put space between us.

"Sorry, it's just that you're so damn pretty that sometimes I forget how smart you are."

His statement makes me frown even harder. "Don't call me that, and I went to law school just like you, jackass."

"Why not? Does
pretty
sound too gay for you?" he asks as he comes closer, invading my personal space until my back hits the shower wall.

"Yes," I reply.

"God forbid we get too gay. I mean, you won't kiss me, but fucking me and letting me blow you are both fair game now."

What the fuck is he talking about?

"Kissing is unnecessary when we're...doing those things."

"You kiss Lacy when you fuck her," he replies.

"That's because she's a woman. It's sort of a requirement for them."

"It's not just a requirement for
them
," he counters. "It's a requirement for any two people who get naked together."

Why is he pushing the issue? I try to figure out how to explain it to him. "I just...I don't think it'll do anything for me. It would probably be awkward."

"Fine," he grumbles, hands on his hips, exhaling a breath up to the ceiling. My shoulders relax, the tension in them easing knowing he's finally letting it go. I'm not sure why I've never kissed him. It just seems too...intimate. Too serious, instead of just fooling around. But then Chad says, "I'm gonna enjoy proving you wrong."

I don't have time to react before he attacks me. He grabs the sides of my face with both hands and then his lips are slanting over mine. Completely shocked by his unusual show of aggression, I stand frozen in place, not breathing and unable to move a muscle. Not until his tongue swipes over my lips. The zing of arousal is instantaneous, shooting right down to the tip of my cock like he just licked it instead. My
holy shit
gasp
parts my lips even more, allowing his tongue to stroke along mine before retreating. Eager to recreate that feeling, I reach out and yank his hips forward, so that the front of our bodies are flush against each other. It's the first time I've ever felt his cock rubbing against mine. I'm not sure which of us is harder. The teasing of our lower body parts feels so good that our kisses become frantic. I knew he had a talented mouth, but I've never been tongue-fucked like this before. And of course, I can't
not
think about him sucking me off.

Chad swallows my groans as I grind his lower body against mine. The longer we kiss the more desperate I become for him to jerk me off or suck me. But his hands won't budge from my face, and he doesn't actively participate in the sword fight whatsoever. No, it's just me that's grabbing his ass cheeks, holding him against me while I hump the front of his body. Oh God. I need to sink my cock in him. I've got to put him face first against this wall and fuck him again before I die. Then he sucks on my tongue and I swear I feel the suction around my cock. My swollen prick swells right before cum explodes from me, spraying my abdomen and his.

"Fuck!" I shout, reaching down to pump myself dry.

After our lips finally separate, Chad looks down with a raised eyebrow, watching until I'm finished and my body sags sated and happy against the wall while I try and catch my breath.

"I rest my case, counselor," he says with a mocking grin before he strolls back over to his side of the shower.

Katie

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I leave you with this to consider before beginning your deliberations; witnesses and defendants may lie, but photographs and x-rays of broken bones do not. Mr. Donaldson was seen by his neighbor leaving his house minutes before EMS arrived. There were no other individuals in the home all afternoon. You'll have to decide if he assaulted Mrs. Donaldson, or she broke her own ribs and gave herself this enormous head contusion. I have no doubt that you'll make the right decision."

Finished with my closing argument, I heave a sigh of relief that my job is done. Everything went as well as I had hoped, so now we just wait for the verdict. I'm heading back to the prosecution table when I look up and see
him
sitting alone in the middle of the courtroom. What is Joe doing here? Noticing my attention on him, a smile spreads across his gorgeous face. It’s almost a look that says he's...I don't know, proud of me or something. I forget how to breathe until I take my seat, putting my back to the intimidating man once again.

Did that really just happen? I glance over my shoulder, but he's gone. Maybe he was never there to begin with and I only imagined him. I really need to catch up on my sleep. The only problem is that when I close my eyes to unwind, I see
him
. Every night. He's usually dressed in the
Superman
costume that he wore to our office Halloween party. After he literally sweeps me off my feet, he flies me to his bed, and has his naughty way with me. Is it sad that the best sex I've ever had is masturbating to those fantasies? Yeah, thought so. Well, time to go home and cuddle up with the vibrator I'm likely gonna wear out before it's replaced with a real, live man.

…

Joe

Leaving the courtroom, I don't know where I’m going. The jury has no choice but to convict that man after Katie knocked it out of the park during the trial. So why do I feel like shit? Because watching her today was a reminder that, just like with Lacy and Will, I'm nothing more than a spectator in Katie's life. That's all I'll ever be. There won't be any celebrating her win together tonight or talking about it over dinner. She's so close and yet so far away. It's torture. Maybe I'm an idiot. Maybe my obsession with her is nothing more than sexual attraction. The two of us could be a complete clusterfuck together, but God, I'd love the chance to find out.

I finally realize that I'm heading to my old office building, Lacy's father's firm. I quit partially because he's a dick, but mostly because I wanted to switch sides and become a prosecutor. Chad is still working in the firm doing domestic work. I tell myself that I'm going to give him an update on his civil client, the defendant being tried by Katie. In reality, I know it's more than that.

I say hello to my former coworkers and chitchat for an adequate amount of time with each of them before going into Chad’s office and shutting the door.

"You okay?" he asks when he looks up from his computer screen.

"Yes. No. I don't know," I reply, yanking on my hair as I pace the office floor. "The realization just dawned on me that there's nothing I can do. My life is completely out of my control. No matter what I want, how much I want it, or how I'd give
anything
to have what’s missing, none of that shit matters, and it’s really fucking frustrating!"

"You talking about the baby?"

"The baby. Katie. A family. Hell, all of it."

"Ah."

"Maybe...maybe I just don't deserve them, any of them."

"Why not? Because you think you're Fifty Shades of Gay?" he asks.

"What?" I exclaim, my feet coming to a stop. "No. Maybe?" I admit with a cringe.

"Really, Joe? You're smarter than that. This is just flashbacks from Bible study fucking with you." Ugh, the reminder of that place sours my stomach, but I try to blow it off with a joke.

"Huh, no, I don't remember the ‘
Thou shall be eternally punished if thou fucketh other men’
scripture. Was that in Jobe in the Old Testament or Peter in the New?" The truth is I know Leviticus 18:22 from memory, "
Thou shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind. It is an abomination
." 

"We're not doing anything wrong, morally or ethically. Those bunch of Bible toting hypocrites who say we are don’t see anything wrong with breaking their marital vows by having affairs and asking me to help them file for divorce. Adultery is no less sinful than homosexuality, yet everyone seems to overlook that piece of scripture."

"Oh, so you're gonna come on out of the closet then?" I ask.

"No. Just because there's nothing wrong with it, doesn't mean there won't be consequences to going public. I don't want the drama, because it's nobody's business if I like sucking cock or getting fucked by another man, just like it's no one’s business if I eat a woman out or fuck her."

"I like eating a woman out while you suck my cock," I tease, thinking of the very first time he went down on me while Lacy was sitting on my face. "Best of both worlds." In that moment, I’d been surprised by his advance, and then confused by how much I liked having his mouth on me. It was fucking amazing.

Chad flashes his perfect smile, knowing
exactly
the occasion I’m referring to, but still says, "You have heard of the sixty-nine position, right? That only takes two people, not three."

"I like three people," I admit. "Or four."

"I do, too," he agrees, and after a short pause adds, "But two is better than one."

"That is true," I agree with a sigh, thinking of all the hellish days, weeks, years I spent alone. Yeah, I may have been constantly surrounded by people the first fifteen years of my life, but I figure it was about as much fun as doing time in prison. The comparison is actually pretty spot on the more I think about it. Both give you the required three meals a day and a place to sleep. Each have their own lock down, and I can commiserate somewhat with inmates since my ass was also regularly abused. My butt cheeks clench, experiencing phantom pains from the sting of that fucking wooden paddle. So yeah, even crammed in like sardines, there was no camaraderie among us or friendships. It was a competition almost, to be better than the rest in the hopes of getting picked. There was no reason to try to make friends, because as soon I did, they would get to leave while I always got left behind.

"Lock the door," Chad directs me, getting to his feet and snapping me out of my shitty past. My cock lengthens and stands up in my pants at just those three words, knowing he's gonna give me what I need. Pushing the button on the door knob, I turn around and he's there in front of me. His mouth crashes down on mine while his hands go to work undoing my belt, then my suit pants. Our tangling tongues send pleasurable pulses down my shaft before he even slides his hand down into my boxers and squeezes my swollen cock. After I pull back for a gasping breath, he hits his knees. When he's on the floor he unzips his own pants and pulls his dick out to tug on it. There's no teasing today. As soon as his lips seal around my shaft, he closes his eyes and gets busy.

"Fuck that feels good," I tell him.

I end up with my back plastered to the door from the amount of force. He sucks me so hard my knees are already weak. I thread my fingers through his hair more to have something to hold on to than force his movements since he knows exactly how I want it. Fast, hard, and deep. I bite my bottom lip to keep his coworkers outside the door from hearing my curses and groans. The only sounds in the quiet office are my harsh breaths and his occasional muffled moan.

"Ah fuck!" I can't hold back the sound of my relief when I come so hard in his mouth it's almost painful.

As I slump against the wall and recover I glance down and watch Chad choking the shit out of his cock, his expression is one of frustration. Could I do it for him? Could I suck him off? He does it for me when he knows I need the release, those few moments to forget all the shit in my life when I'm flooded with pleasure. Doesn't he deserve the same from me? For the first time I think I might actually want to try.

"Stand up," I tell him. He looks up at me in confusion until I let my weak knees go down to the ground.

"Oh shit," he says in understanding, scrambling to his feet. When I'm eye-level with his cock, I can't help but hesitate. "Please."

I look up, expecting Chad's expression to be an arrogant one of triumph, knowing I finally caved, and in effect, submitted to him. Instead, there's nothing but longing in his lowered, supplicating eyes. Giving in, I wrap my fist around the base of his hard length. After licking some moisture onto my dry lips, I lean forward and put his blunt head in my mouth making him gasp. Swirling my tongue around his soft skin isn't so bad, so I take a little more of his length, coating him with my tongue and pulling back. I try applying more suction but he yanks me off of him by my tugging on a chunk of my hair. I kind of like the sensation.

"Too good. Give me...a fucking minute," he explains.

I don’t give him a minute. I cover him again with my mouth, since it's now or never before I change my mind. During the next long draw I taste his salty pre-cum and know he's close. Chad shows restraint by not forcing my head or thrusting his hips forward. Probably because he knows that for my first time I need to start slow, and he’s cautiously avoiding anything that might make me stop. Instead, his hands in my hair are more of a gentle caress, encouraging and strangely tender.

"Oh God," he groans softly, noticeably swelling in my mouth. "I'm coming," he warns, yanking on my hair to try and pull me off again. "S-stop or...
fuuuck
."

I swallow his cum, my suction milking his still pulsing cock. He tastes...different from a woman, but I don't let up until he finishes.

"That's good. So fucking good," he mutters. Pulling off of him, I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, watching him as he takes a few wobbly steps back and sinks into one of the office chairs. "Holy shit. Thank you."

"I figured I owed you, and...it wasn't as bad as I expected," I admit.

"Mmm," Chad says, his head slumping backwards. "I'm too fuck drunk to move."

Well, I must’ve done something right. Getting to my feet I put my now limp cock away, fasten my belt, and re-tuck my dress shirt into my pants. "So, I guess I better head back."

"Okay. You want me to come over tonight?" he asks.

"Yes," I say without hesitation. Fuck the guilt. Chad is one of my best friends, and has been for a long time. I love him the same as Lacy and Will. Maybe what the four of us have isn't ideal, but it works for us. He's right, there's nothing wrong with what we're doing. I want him. There. I admit it.

I pull my keys out of my pocket and spin the spare house key around the ring to offer it to him. He usually leaves work before me and then has to wait outside my house for me to get home and let him in. "As soon as I get home tonight, I'm gonna fuck you in the shower," I warn him.

"Looking forward to it," he replies with a smile, holding out his palm for me to drop the key in it. "Oh, and afterwards, there's an IFC fight on that we can watch."

"Sounds good. I need to do some packing for my trip, so don't expect me to be Suzy Homemaker and cook for you," I tease. I hear him laugh as I unlock his office door and head to the elevator.

"Bye, Joe. Good seeing you again," Chad's assistant, Leah, calls out. I wonder if she's still throwing her slutty self at him. He's told me plenty of times that even if he wasn't her boss, he’d have zero interest in the ditzy sorority girl. Can't say I blame him, although those big tits that she's always flaunting are pretty sweet to look at. They could probably carry on a more intelligent conversation than the woman they're attached to. Bounce once for yes, twice for no. Everything they said would be fucking fascinating. 

"Good seeing you, too, Leah," I reply evilly to her cleavage before I step on the elevator. Despite having just sucked a cock at least I know that the female form definitely still makes me hard.     

"Oh, and, Joe," she says, and when I make eye contact with her again she smirks before she tells me, "Your fly's open."

Fuck.

"Thanks," I say, zipping my pants right as the elevator door thankfully closes and then gets me the hell out of there.