All In: Raising the Stakes (2 page)

Joe

Why does that woman hate me so damn much? At least we've finally had one conversation where she didn't call me a cocky bastard.  I have no doubt she thought it, but at least she'd kept the words to herself.

I go to my favorites in my phone to call Lacy on the drive home. I wish she still lived with me instead of an hour and a half away in Charlotte. She’s my best friend, and for the first time in my life, I don't feel half empty, but rather half-full and optimistic. Her unexpected love somehow managed to fill up the majority of the cup that's been pretty fucking empty my entire life. I'm not
in love
with her. I know that, and Lacy knows that, but I do love the woman and miss her. The two of us just happen to...click, in and out of bed. If I believed in something as ridiculous as soulmates, then I'd say she’s mine. Is it strange that her boyfriend and my good friend Will still shares her with me? To some people maybe so, but it works for us. At least for now.   

"Hey, Joe," she answers right away.

"Hey, Lace. How ya feeling?" I ask, picturing her stretched out on their couch with a hand resting on top of her growing belly.

"Ugh, I was sick again this morning and have been a little queasy all day, even though the doctor
promised me
that my second trimester would be easier. Work is awesome, but I'm starting to look like a whale on camera. How was your day?"

"I love your little belly. I'm sure you're not even close to being whale size. Things are good here. I stayed late tonight to help Katie with a few calls. The fact that she asked me to do something for her and thanked me instead of insulting me for once is some sort of progress in wooing her, I guess."

"Yeah, if she didn't tell you to fuck off, I'd say that's progress," she snorts.

"How's Will holding up?"

She sighs. "It's going to be a long three and a half more months. For all of us."

"Yeah it is," I agree. I feel the same way. Months seem like an eternity as I wait to find out whether or not I’m the father of her child. What started out as an incredibly hot threesome turned foursome has now become an unfortunate episode of the Maury Povich show. Sex has consequences no matter how fun and carefree it starts out, but I don’t blame Lacy. We were all irresponsible, and after her mother’s death, Lacy’s birth control oversight led to her getting pregnant. Now there’s a one-in-four chance that I’m the father.  

"You coming down to stay with us this weekend?" she asks, and I smile at the hopeful tone in her voice.

"Unfortunately no. They're making me go to a boring ass seminar on how to prosecute homicides. But at least it's in warm, sunny Florida, and all expenses are on the state."

"Murders? Damn, you're moving up already, huh?"

"Eventually. Both prosecutors on the homicide team are retiring in a few months, so they want me to start training up to fill one of the spots. It's not like we have many murders in this city, maybe a dozen homicides a year, with only about half unsolved. It should be fun."

"Regret switching sides?" she asks, referring to my days as a criminal defense attorney.

"Hell no. I wish I could go back and prosecute some of the bastards I represented." When I decided I wanted to become a defense attorney, my goal was to help good people who may have had a rough start in life or simply made stupid decisions but deserve second chances. What I realized after practicing for several years was that most defendants wanted me to pull off a miraculous third, fourth, or even fifth chance that they don’t deserve, since they can't learn from their mistakes.                                         

"And another benefit is now you get to see a certain redhead all day long," Lacy adds.  

"Exactly." Even if the redhead hates my guts and flees like a bat out of hell whenever I approach her.

I pull up in the driveway of my modest ranch home, and there's no ignoring the yellow and black Camaro already there. Or the blonde man leaning against the driver side.
Ah dammit
.

"What's wrong?" Lacy asks after hearing my groan.

"I just got home and Chad's here."

"And that's a bad thing, why? I thought you two have been hanging out almost every night lately."

"Because…fuck. I'll end up giving in like all the nights before because I'm a horny bastard, but then I'll feel all guilty and I'm pretty sure he wants me to do...more. Why can't everything be as easy as me and you?" I ask her.

"I know, right?" She laughs. "At least Zack's no longer being an ass to me. Since he's settled down with Natalie he's actually cordial, which is a nice change from him yelling at me and calling me a slut. He even sounds like he'll be okay if the baby is his."

"I bet a part of him probably
wants
to be the father and is pissed he might not be. I swear, it's like some macho,
my seed is stronger
thing, ‘cause I feel the same way. Hell, I know Will does, too."

"Yeah, he really wants it...to be his…" I hear her sniffle when she starts crying.

"Oh, Lace, hang up and take Will to bed to get your mind off of everything. You'll both feel better."

"Okay. Thanks, Joe. Love you."

"Love you, too," I tell her then slide the phone back into my pants pocket.

Climbing out of my SUV, I ready myself for the inevitable.

"Hey," Chad says when I approach. I still remember that first day Lacy met him in my office. She was quick to point out his resemblance to a Ken doll. If he ditched his dark suit pants and wrinkled dress shirt, all the surfer boy would need is a pair of sunglasses and board-shorts to fit the part. I do know for a fact that
this
Ken is definitely anatomically correct, hence my hesitation.                    

"Hey," I reply, and just that one word sounds heavy with exhaustion, frustration, and confusion.

"You look stressed the hell out."

I nod in the affirmative. "Yeah, the state earned every fucking penny they paid me today," I tell him as I fidget with the keys in my hand, not knowing what else to say.              

"You up for company tonight?" he asks, sounding somewhat hesitant, yet doesn't miss the chance to throw out the innuendo. Based on his wordage I know he means more than coming in for a beer and watching prime time television or a sporting event. That’s how most of these nights of ours started, innocent enough until his mouth found its way around my cock more often than the rims of those bottles of alcohol.

And there goes my morality Lady Justice, the blindfolded bitch. She’s holding a set of scales in my conscience yet again. On the one hand, my cock is yelling at me that it wants to get off, while on the other side my mind is calling me a homo. Although technically the correct term would be bisexual. I prefer women, without a fucking doubt. But when the opportunity for a blowjob from Chad presents itself, well, the overwhelming pleasure he gives me feels the exact same as being with a woman. Besides, he’s a good friend and we pretty much do everything else together. Any woman, or hell, even a straight man would say that his tall and lean athletic build combined with his preppy, pretty boy good looks put him in the goddamn-he's-hot territory. But my physical attraction to him has more to do with knowing my dick's about to go in his mouth than how his black suit pants hug his tight, perfect ass. Mostly.

I know I'm on a downward spiral, and soon it's going to bottom out. Hopefully not literally.  The problem is that what started out five months ago as both of us just getting off because we're lonely, doesn’t seem as casual for Chad as it is for me. I also don't give nearly as much as I receive in this bizarre experimental relationship, the first man-on-man one for both of us. But for some reason, I haven’t ended it, either.    

"Come on," I tell him. I’m already undoing my tie, ready to take my hot, constraining suit off when I unlock my front door. "I need to cool off in the shower a minute," I tell Chad on my way to the master bedroom. "You know you can help yourself to a beer or anything else in the fridge."

I pull my clothes off and toss them as I go until I’m standing naked under the streaming water, the temperature set just above ice cold. Nope, that doesn't help. My eager dick is still up and ready to get sucked. Blowjobs are my Kryptonite. They feel too damn good to pass up. I'd likely sell my soul for a lifetime supply of the bastards, so what's the harm in putting my cock in another man's willing mouth a few times a month? Or multiple times a week.
Fine, let's do this
, I grumble to myself in defeat, literally growing hornier by the minute.

I quickly finish washing and then towel off before returning to the bedroom. Chad’s stripped down naked, sitting on the edge of the bed, obviously very happy to be here. I'm not sure whether I should be flattered that I can make him swell to capacity without touching him, or be concerned. When his eyes lower with my approach, I realize just how hypocritical that thought was.

It doesn't take me saying or doing anything else before he drops to his knees. As soon as he wraps his hand tightly around the base of my aching length, all the air rushes out of my lungs in anticipation of what's to come. He flicks just the tip of his tongue over the head of my cock and pulls back. Realizing he's gonna make me either beg for it or force him—Maybe both—I mutter a curse. He knows I get off on being in control. Nice and easy isn't my style. Hell, just thinking about all the times Lacy has let me tie her up, gag her and take her any damn way I want is almost enough to make me come.

"Please," I say, deciding to play nice with him first but really hoping it doesn't work, so we can go the rough route.

"Please what?" Chad asks. His teasing gray eyes look up expectantly at me before he offers another quick lick.

"Suck my cock."

His mouth finally seals around my entire swollen head and sucks; his tongue lapping up the bead of moisture from my dripping slit. I should've known it was too good to last. He pulls back again. "Like that?" 

"God yes," I groan. Now when his mouth latches around me, he makes an entire trip up and down my shaft, sucking me hard. I almost cry when my cock slips from his mouth. 

"What are you gonna do for me?" he asks. 

Ah fuck. He wants to bargain with me. But when he leans forward and sucks me a little longer, counter stroking me in his fist, I'm ready to cave.

"Anything," I gasp, my hips involuntarily rocking toward his swollen lips.

"Anything?" he repeats with a raised blond eyebrow. "You gonna finally suck
my
cock?"

Shit. I'm so hard up right now I actually consider it, but only for a second. I shake my head, words temporarily failing me. "No."

He licks and sucks on my balls, manipulating them in the best possible way.

"Fuck me?"

"No." That response comes out quicker than the last. It doesn't deter Chad. In fact, I'm sure he knew both were pretty much off the table. Instead of stopping, his mouth gets busy working me over, both of my hands in his hair guiding him. My eyes close automatically, and then it’s easier to pretend it’s someone else's mouth. Lacy is right, though, the man knows what the hell he’s doing. Since he has a cock, he’s a fucking pro at sucking one. He knows exactly how to stroke mine, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure while simultaneously caressing my balls. With each trip his mouth makes up and down my dick, I lose a little more of my inhibitions and my homophobia. My body likes what he’s doing, and at the moment, that’s all that fucking matters. It doesn't take long before my release starts building. Then the asshole suddenly stops again.

"You have got to be fucking kidding!" I exclaim, grasping his hair harder to make him keep going.

"Fuck me with the dildo and jerk me off?" he asks quickly, knowing he has me.

"Fine," I growl, pulling his head forward with one hand and grabbing my shaft to rub the drops of pre-cum over his lips with the other. "But you better not take your goddamn mouth off of my cock again before I come in it."

"Yes, sir," he replies with a triumphant smile before opening wide. I frantically shove my cock down his warm, wet throat over and over again, gripping his hair tighter as I really start to fuck his mouth. Looking down, okay, so not only does it feel incredible, but I like seeing this man on his knees for me, while I force him to suck my cock. It's something akin to an ego trip or an adrenaline rush. He always knows
exactly
what I need, and for some strange reason, Chad likes pleasuring me. At this very moment, he’s moaning because he's turned on and approves of me taking control. Those vibrations from his wonderful hums travel up and down my length. Knowing he would not only let me do anything I want to him, but like it, is a heady feeling.

Dominating him gives me that high that I crave, similar to the one when I'm with Lacy. I like knowing they're mine and that they trust me enough to give themselves to me. But sometimes, after it's all over and I'm alone again, I crave more of the intimacy with them. I even start to panic worrying that someday I'll lose one or both of them. They're all I have, so I guess being in control while we're together gives me the illusion that I have the power to make them stay with me. Fuck, I know I don't, and I'm well aware that both relationships are toxic. Temporary even. I can practically hear the seconds ticking off the goddamn clock.