All In (The Blackstone Affair, Part 2) (6 page)

“How you’re dressed is the least of my
concerns, baby.” I took her hand to my lips and kissed the soft
skin. “You are beautiful to me in anything…or nothing. Especially
nothing,” I attempted teasing.

She blushed just slightly. I felt the throb
in my cock when I saw her reaction. I wanted her home with me so
badly. In my bed where I could reach for her all throughout the
night and know she was there with me. I wasn’t letting her get away
again.

She once told me she loves it when I kiss
her hand. And I know I cannot help myself. It’s hard not to touch
and kiss her all the time because I’ve never been a person to deny
myself much of anything I want. And I want her.

She mouthed a silent thank you but still
looked sad. She probably dreaded our conversation but knew it had
to be done. For her own sake she needed to tell me something hard
and I would have to listen. If this is what she needed to do in
order for us to move forward then I would hear whatever it was.

“Pizza it is then.” I had to let go of her
hand to drive but I could manage it. Just barely. My girl was right
next to me in my car. I could smell her, and see her, and even
touch her if I reached out; she was that close to me. And for the
first time in days, the constant ache in my chest had slipped
away.

Candlelight and
pizza
are excellent with the right person. For me, the right
person was sitting across from me and it wouldn’t have mattered
where we were as long as we were together. But Brynne needed food
and I needed to hear her story, so Bellissima’s would do as well as
any other place.

We had a table in a dark, private corner, a
bottle of red wine, and one giant sausage and mushroom to share. I
tried not to make her uncomfortable by staring too hard but it was
damn difficult not to because my eyes were starved for the view of
her. Ravenous.

I did my best to be a considerate listener
instead. Across from me Brynne looked like she was struggling with
how to begin. I smiled at her and commented on how good the food
tasted. I found myself wishing she would eat a little more but kept
my mouth shut on that matter. I am sure I’m not a moron. I grew up
with an older sister and the lessons learned from Hannah have
definitely stuck with me throughout the years. Women don’t like to
be told about what to eat or not eat. Best to just leave her alone
and hope for the best.

She looked very far away in her head when
she started telling me about her life, I didn’t like the sad body
language nor the defeated sound to her voice, but those points were
irrelevant.

“My parents split when I was fourteen. I
didn’t handle it well I guess. I’m an only child so I suppose I
reached out for some kind of validation or maybe it was to get back
at them for the divorce. Who knows, but bottom line? I was a slut
in high school.” She lifted her eyes to mine, steely grey and
determined to get her point across. “It’s true, I was. I didn’t
make great choices in the boys I dated and I didn’t care about my
reputation. I was spoiled and immature, and very stupidly
reckless.”

Really!
First surprise of the night.
I couldn’t imagine Brynne like that and didn’t want to either, but
the pragmatic side of me realized most everyone had a past, and my
girl was no different. She picked up her wineglass and stared into
it like she was remembering. I didn’t say anything. I just listened
and soaked in the sight of her so close to me.

“There was this news story that went viral
in California a few years back. A sheriff’s son made a video of a
girl at a party. She was passed out drunk when him and two of his
buddies fucked her and toyed with her on the pool table.”

I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise
up.
Please, no.
“I remember that,” I said, forcing myself to
listen and trying not to react much. “The sheriff tried to suppress
evidence against his son but it leaked out and the motherfuckers
got convicted anyway.”

“Yeah…in that case they did.” She looked
down at her pizza and then back up at me. “Not in mine though.”

Her eyes got glassy and suddenly I didn’t
feel like eating either.

“I went to a party with my friend Jessica
and we got drunk of course. So drunk I don’t remember anything that
happened until I woke up and heard them laughing and talking about
me.” She took a big gulp of wine before she continued. “Lance
Oakley was—
is
—a total asshole, entitled, rich deviant. His
dad was a California state senator at the time. I don’t know why I
ever went out with him. Probably because he merely asked. Like I
said before, I didn’t make good choices with my behavior. I took
risks. That’s how much I didn’t care about myself.”

I hate this.

“He was away at college and I was in my
senior year of high school. I guess he felt entitled whenever he
came home that I would be around for him but we weren’t exclusive
by any means. I know he cheated. I guess he just expected I would
pine away waiting for him to come home from college and be his
convenience. I did know he was mad at me for going out with another
boy I met at a track meet, but not how cruel he would be because of
it.”

“You were track and field at your school?” I
asked.

“Yeah...the running.” She nodded and looked
into her glass again. “So I wake up in a total fog and not able to
move my limbs. We think he may have put something in my drinks…”
She swallowed hard and continued bravely on. “They were talking
about me but I didn’t know it was me at first. Or what they had
done to me. There were three of them, all on Thanksgiving break
from college. I didn’t even know the other two guys, only Lance.
They were not from my school.” She took a drink of her wine. “I
could hear them laughing at someone. Saying how they shoved a pool
stick and a bottle and—and fucked her with those things—how she was
a whore who begged for it.”

Brynne closed her eyes and breathed in deep.
I ached for her. I wanted to kill Oakley and his friend, and wished
his dead buddy was still alive so I could kill him too. I had no
idea about this. I’d assumed it was just a youthful indiscretion
that some idiot decided to video—not a full blown sexual assault on
a seventeen year old girl. I reached out for her hand and covered
it with mine. She stilled for an instant and closed her eyes
tighter, but she didn’t flinch away. Again, her bravery humbled me
and I waited for her to say more.

“I had no idea they were talking about me
though, I was so out of it. When I could move my legs and arms I
struggled to get up. They laughed and left me there on the table. I
knew I’d had sex but I didn’t know with whom or any details. I felt
sick and hung-over. I just wanted to get out of that house. So I
pulled my clothes back together, found Jessica, and got a ride
home.”

A growl came unbidden out of my throat. I
couldn’t help it. Even to my ears I sounded like a dog. Brynne
looked up at me almost startled for a second and then down at my
hand on top of hers. I focused on her and pulled my emotions
together. Losing my cool wouldn’t help Brynne at all, so I brushed
my thumb over her hand slowly back and forth, hoping like hell she
understood how much it hurt me to hear of her being used like that.
My mind was reeling with what she’d shared. At the time of the
crime, the perpetrators had been adults and she’d been underage.
Interesting. And I couldn’t figure out why Tom Bennett had omitted
this information when he’d hired me. He was likely just trying to
protect the reputation of his only child. No wonder he got volatile
when he found out we were sleeping together.

“I would have put the whole thing out of my
mind if not for the video. I had no idea what they had done to me
or that they filmed me. I came to school on a Monday and it was big
news. I was big news. They’d seen me—naked, passed out drunk,
being—being toyed with—fucked—used like an object—”

Tears rolled down her cheeks but she didn’t
lose her composure. She kept talking and I just held on to her
hand.

“Everyone knew it was me. People had watched
the video all weekend and passed it around. The video showed me
clearly but the boys were off camera and the sound had been dubbed
over with a song instead of audio so you couldn’t hear their voices
to identify them.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Nine Inch
Nails’—I Wanna Fuck You Like an Animal. They made it like a music
video with the lyrics to the song printed out over the screen in
big letters…You let me violate you—You let me desecrate you—You let
me penetrate you—”

She faltered and my heart just broke in two
for what she’d suffered. I knew only how much I wanted to make it
work between us. I stopped her then. I had to. I couldn’t listen to
any more and restrain myself in public. We needed privacy for this.
I just wanted to take her home with me and hold her close. The rest
could be figured out later.

I squeezed her hand so she would look up at
me. Big luminous eyes, in colors that all blended together, filled
with glassy tears I only wanted to lick away, looked into mine.
“Let me take you home, please.” I nodded to make her understand it
was what we needed. “I want to be alone with you right now, Brynne.
Everything else doesn’t matter so much.”

She made a sound that just ripped my heart
apart. So soft, but injured and raw. I stood up from the table
abruptly, tugging her with me, and bless her heart, she followed
without protesting. I threw some notes on the table and got her out
to the car and buckled into her seat.

“Are you sure you want to, Ethan?” she asked
me, her eyes red and full of tears.

I looked at her dead on. “I’ve never been
surer of anything.” I leaned to her and put my hand on the back of
her head so I could control the kiss. I kissed her thoroughly on
the lips, even pressing against her teeth with my tongue so she
would open up to me. Brynne needed to know I still wanted her. I
knew she was struggling with the idea of herself and my knowledge
of her past. She assumed I wouldn’t desire her anymore if I knew
the details.

My girl could not have been more wrong.

“All of your things are still there waiting
for you. Just know this…” I spoke directly just a few inches from
her face, boring into her soulful eyes. “I have no intentions of
letting you go.” I swallowed hard. “If you come with me you’re
signing on for all of me, Brynne. I don’t know any other way to be
with you. It’s all in for me. And I want it to be all in for you
too.”

“All in?” She brought her palm to my cheek
and held it there, her questioning look so genuine.

I turned my lips to press them into the palm
of her hand as she held my face. “A poker term. Means to bet
everything you have on the cards you’re holding. You’re what I’m
holding.”

She closed her eyes again and her lip
trembled slightly. “I haven’t even told you all of it. There’s
more.” She took her hand away.

“Open your eyes and look at me.” I said it
gently but very firm.

She complied instantly and I had to stifle a
groan for how much her gesture aroused me. “I don’t care whatever
it is you haven’t told me or even what you just told me in the
restaurant.” I shook my head a little to make her understand. “It
won’t change how
I
feel. I know we’ll talk some more and you
can tell me the rest when you’re able…or when you need to. I’ll
hear it. I need to hear everything anyway so I can make sure you’re
kept safe. Which I will do, I promise you, Brynne.”

“Oh, Ethan—” Her bottom lip quivered as she
looked over at me, as beautiful in her sadness as she was when she
was happy.

I could see Brynne was worried about many
things—sharing her past, my reaction to her past, the possible
threats to her safety in London, my feelings—and I so desperately
wanted to erase that worry from her expression if I could. I wished
for her to be free from her burdens and left alone to live her
life, hopefully with me in there somewhere. I’d never meant a
promise more so than right now either. I
would
keep her
safe, but I also wanted to make sure she understood what she would
be getting in agreeing to come home with me.

“But no more running from me, Brynne. If you
need a break that’s fine, I’ll respect it and give you some space.
But I have to be able to come to you and see you, and know that you
won’t take off again...or shut me out.” I brushed her lips with my
thumb. “That’s what I need from you, baby. Can you do that?”

She started breathing harder, her chest
moving her breasts up and down in that tight turquoise top, her
eyes flickering as she contemplated. I could tell she was scared
but Brynne had to learn to trust me if we had any chance at all
together. I gambled on the hope she would take my offer. I hardly
knew what to do if she didn’t though.
Fall apart? Become a real
stalker? Sign up for psychotherapy?

“But—I find it so hard to trust in a
relationship. You’ve gotten farther than anyone ever has before.
For the first time I’ve had to choose between a complex, scary
relationship and being safely uncomplicated…and alone.”

I groaned and gripped her a little tighter.
“I know you’re scared but I want you to give us a chance anyway.
You’re not meant to be alone. You’re meant to be with me.” My words
came out a little hard but it was too late to pull them back.

Brynne surprised me by smiling a little and
shaking her head at me. “You’re something else, Ethan Blackstone.
Were you always like this?”

“Like what?”

“So demanding, blunt and direct.”

I shrugged. “I guess. I don’t know. I just
know how I am with you. I want things with you I’ve not wanted
before. I want you and that’s all I know. Right now I want you to
come home with me and be together. And I’ll just take the promise
that you won’t leave at the first sign of trouble. You’ll give me
the opportunity to make it right and not close me out.” I held her
shoulders with both hands. “I can be understanding if you’ll tell
me what you need from me. I want to give you whatever it is you
need, Brynne.” I rubbed with my thumbs at the base of her neck, the
soft skin under my fingers magnetized as soon as I began touching
her. Once I got a feel of her again I didn’t want to give her
up.