All My Love, Detrick (35 page)

“From what I can see, it looks like the allies are closing in on Germany. There is a lot of whispering that Hitler is losing the war.”

“We can only hope.” Jacob smiled.

“I believe it’s true. When he divided his army, fighting at two fronts, he weakened himself.” Detrick looked into Jacob’s eyes. “I believe that soon Stalin will march his troops into Germany, and the war will be over.”

“Then what happens to you?” the rabbi asked with genuine concern.

“Then all of you will be hiding me.”

“We will explain. We will tell them how you’ve helped us.”

“I hope they will believe you, Jacob. Can you imagine what they will think of me in my uniform? It will be better for me if the Americans come first; I have heard that they are more compassionate. Perhaps they will understand my plight.”

“We can only wait and see,” the rabbi observed.

Leah took Detrick’s hand and gripped it tightly.

“I will stand up for you. No matter what, Detrick, I will make them understand.” Jacob’s eyes met Detrick’s as he offered reassurance. “Then we will leave Germany, all of us, together.”

“Yes, Papa.
All of us, together.” Leah smiled as she gazed into Detrick’s eyes.

126

That night as they lay quietly, gazing at the stars, their hands clasped together, Leah’s head on Detrick’s chest, their hearts beat in perfect harmony. Tenderly, Detrick ran his hand over her soft hair and marveled at how it resembled silk.

“Sweetheart, a letter came today from my sister, Helga.”

“Helga! Oh, Detrick, that’s wonderful. Is she all right? Where is she?”

“Yes, she’s fine. In fact, she’s living on a farm in Munich with her husband.”

“She married that man she was keeping company with?”

“No, according to the letter it is someone else.”

Then he went on to explain what Helga had written.

“You must go. Your mother is right.”

“More than anything, I wish I could take you with me. I wish I could tell my family that we are married. Sometimes I am so tired of this uphill climb. It’s a constant fight to keep our love hidden. And, it isn’t fair, Leah. Why should something as beautiful as what we have be against the law?”

She could not answer, so she did not.
Instead, she squeezed his hand. “Go with your family. See your sister. I will be here when you return.”

A cold chill descended upon him, although the temperature of the room had not changed.
I am so afraid to leave that I’m getting goose bumps, but she is right, I must go.

He bent down and softly kissed her. She met his kiss with a passionate one, and the tiny flame she sparked exploded into a massive fire. His heart beat wildly with love for her. Turning her
over on to her back, he covered her face and breasts with kisses. Their bodies molded together, fitting as perfectly as two puzzle pieces. With his blue eyes, deep as the ocean, locked on hers, he whispered.

“I love you, Leah.
God, how I love you.”

127

Konrad encouraged Detrick’s trip to the country. It would be good for Detrick to get out of Berlin for a week or so and spend time with his family. In a show of generosity, Konrad even offered the use of an automobile, which Detrick gratefully accepted. The six-hour trip from Berlin to the outskirts of Munich in a private vehicle would afford the Haswell’s comfort they’d never experienced during train travel.

With excitement, Inga washed and packed enough clothing for the trip. For months prior to their leaving, she took in extra work in order to purchase small gifts to bring to her daughter.

As the date grew closer, even Hans seemed excited. Only Detrick grew more anxious, which he managed to hide from everyone except Jacob, who had a way of looking into his soul.

One evening, a few days before Detrick’s trip, Jacob put his hand on Detrick’s shoulder. “Sit with me a minute, Detrick.”

They sat at the table. The rabbi tried to busy himself in order to give the two the privacy they seemed to need. When Leah came out of her room, seeing her father and Detrick engaged in a whispered conversation, she quickly turned back, closing the door.

“Jacob, you’ve always been more of a father to me than my own father. Watch her for me. I will be back as soon as I can.”

“I love her, too, Detrick; she is my daughter. But you must stay safe, as well. I love you, too, Detrick. Don’t take any foolish chances. We will be fine.”

“I was planning to return early.”

“You mustn’t. You must return with your family. You must do nothing to draw attention.”

“Yes, I suppose you are right.”

“Every day when you go to that office, I worry. I am always afraid for you.”

“I know, but don’t be. I am careful, and I will continue to be. We will make it through this…all of us. You’ll see.” Detrick winked at Jacob with a confidence he did not feel.

128

The outskirts of Munich

T
he open countryside of Munich, adorned with its lush, green, rolling hills and ruby-red, blooming strawberry patches, made a strong contrast to the congestion of Berlin. The air smelled pure, embraced by sunshine, instead of the usual smell of exhaust.

When the Haswell
’s drove up the dirt road to the white farmhouse with its large red barn, Inga gasped. Surrounded by neatly fenced and planted fields, cows stood grazing under the shade of lazy green trees in an open pasture. A brown and white plow horse accompanied them.

An air of calm surrounded the homestead. Detrick carried his mother’s suitcase, as well as his own, up the path to the house. Before they could knock, a healthier, more robust Helga burst through the door. Her body had filled out, bearing womanly curves she’d not had as a girl. Wrapping her arms around her mother, she laughed and cried tears of joy, mingled with the pain of such a long separation. Inga cried too as she embraced the daughter she’d thought she lost.

Kurt came to the door, smiling. “Welcome, please come in.” When at last Helga released her mother, Kurt turned to hug Inga.

“I’m so glad all of you could come. I’m Kurt, your son-in-law.” Then he extended his hand to Hans, who received it uncomfortably.

“Thank you, thank you for inviting us.” Inga smiled as she wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand.

“You must be hungry. Come into the kitchen. I would love for you to meet my family.” Kurt patted Detrick’s shoulder in welcome.

Introductions followed. Detrick could not help but feel isolated as he watched the easy exchange of laughter between Kurt’s sister, Hermina, and Helga. The secret he kept of his pale and painfully thin wife grew bitter within his soul, as a jealousy he’d never known before brewed like a strong pot of morning coffee. To his dismay, he found himself angry that he and Leah could not live an open and honest life. Instead, the woman he loved sat in the darkness of an attic, denied the God-given right of sunshine, fresh fruit and vegetables, and wholesome, clean air. As the rest of the family dined on the food picked that morning, the finest they’d ever tasted, Detrick, unable to swallow, excused himself.

Alone, he walked through the fields.
Would he ever again stand outside with his wife enjoying the summer breeze, unafraid? Would their children ever be permitted to attend school? Would they ever watch their children run free through the grass or ride a bicycle?
All these questions…without answers. His thoughts brought on a dark, brooding mood, so foreign to his nature that, when he returned, his mother asked if he felt ill.

The days that followed brought him more unrest. Try as he might, he could not assimilate himself into the family gatherings. Mostly, he sat gazing out the window, absently watching the horse or the cows, while the open wound in his heart grew larger. Kurt attempted conversation and offered friendship. Detrick liked him. It was immediately apparent that he held no Nazi sympathies.
But Detrick could not enjoy good food and drink, breathe fresh air and flourish in the joy of family, while he knew Leah and Jacob’s predicament.

He watched as Hans sat outside, talking with Kurt’s father. Even he seemed to be enjoying the trip.

129

Berlin

R
ebekka Mueller couldn’t fall asleep. Far too excited, she lay awake, her mind drifting, sorting through fantasies. Tomorrow evening she would attend her first dance. From her bed, she could see the dress she would wear illuminated in the moonlight. It had taken her over a week of shopping to choose the perfect frock, a pale pink lace over satin, belted with a matching satin sash. When she’d tried it on, she’d whirled around in the dressing room as the skirts circled her, deciding that for the first time she was truly lovely.

It had been a surprise when Warren had asked if he might accompany her. They’d known each other for years as members of the Hitler Youth, but he’d been athletic and popular, while she’d been reserved and quiet. Of course, she’d accepted
without delay and had run to tell her sister. Together, Rebekka and Adelheid had not only picked the dress, but all of the accessories she would wear, from her white shoes to her tiny, gold heart necklace. During the preparations for the dance, it seemed to Rebekka that the relationship she’d shared with Adelheid before the Jewish influence in the attic had returned to its former state. As she’d grown older, Rebekka found that she believed the Nazi party to be accurate in their stance concerning Jews. It seemed to her that everywhere that the Jews infiltrated her life she’d experienced problems. If Detrick had not been involved with the Jewess, he might have paid Adelheid the attention she’d craved from him. Then, surely, her sister would have a more savory reputation, instead of walking through the halls at school to the quiet echoes of “tramp” and “whore." The Hitler Youth proved correct; they’d taught her a truth her parents failed to accept. She wondered how her father could not see that the Jews had used their money to con the Muellers. That is what Jews do (Hitler himself had said it) they finagle and trick the good people. She knew that, she’d learned it; why had her parents allowed these vermin to taint their lives?

130

A
lthough she was not beautiful by any standards, Rebekka’s skin glowed with the radiance of excitement when Warren arrived to escort her to the dance. At Herr Mueller’s insistence, she reluctantly agreed to meet her date on the porch, least he hear or see anything suspect.

The dance hall overflowed with young people. Rebekka recognized most of the guests from school or the Hitler Youth program. With Warren beside her, all the popular girls befriended Rebekka. While the years of taunting and isolation drifted away, the warmth of belonging replaced them. The girls complimented her dress and her hair. Warren brought her cups of punch, smiling and telling her how beautiful she looked. Never before had Rebekka Muller felt so accepted, so much a part of something.

It was a night out of a storybook, until Warren stopped the car a few blocks from her house. He kissed her. At first she welcomed the kisses. Then the passion swept him up faster than it did Rebekka, and she asked him to stop. He pushed away taking a deep breath.

“Your sister does it.
Why not you?”

“Are you saying my sister is a whore?”

“Well, she did it with me and lots of other boys I know, too. If it’s all right for her, why not you?”

She stared at him in disbelief. If she lost him, she
would be diminished to the lonely girl in the back of the classroom again. It made her sick to know that Warren had made love to Adelheid. Again, Adelheid had stolen her light.

“I’ve never done this before.” She didn’t know what else to say.

“That’s fine. There’s nothing to it. I’ll show you. Just relax.”

It did not feel right.
But, she lay still and allowed him to do as he pleased. Once she completed her mission, she would be Warren’s girlfriend, and all of the other classmates would continue to accept her. She would have friends, be popular. It hurt, and she counted to 100, first forward, than backward, to distract herself until it ended.