All of You (5 page)

“They all seem nice to begin with, Becca,” I
said bitterly.

Rebecca sighed. “Okay, okay. Lincoln will be
back in a little bit. You have to think of what you are going to
say to him. You can’t just run away like you did last night.”

“Can’t you just tell him I don’t want to see
him?” I begged.

“Jillian, he doesn’t seem like the kind of
guy that takes ‘no’ for an answer without a good reason behind it,
right?”

I thought of the times I had tried to say no
to him last night and had to agree with Rebecca. “So what should I
do, Becca?”

“How about this? He said he wanted to talk to
you. Aren’t you the least bit curious what he has to say? What
could be so important that he went through such great lengths to
get your name and address?”

I let out a frustrated groan. “I told you.
It’s probably about my stupid coat.”

Rebecca answered back with her own frustrated
sigh. “And I told you that was probably just an excuse! Oh my God,
we’re talking in circles here. Jillian, it’s not going to hurt
anything to at least listen to what he has to say. If you’re so
sure you are right about what he wants to talk to you about, then
listen to him and let him buy you a damn coat. He’ll be happy, and
you’ll never have to see him again. How about that?”

I stared down and wringed my hands with
worry. “And what if you’re right, Becca?” I asked softly.

Rebecca moved to hug me. “Jilly Bean. If I’m
right, you’ll just take it one step at a time then, okay? And maybe
enjoy the fact you have a rich, handsome, professional hockey
player chasing after you? Besides, you can’t hold your past against
him. At least give him a chance.”

I let out the breath I was holding and
returned my sister’s hug. “What would I do without you, Bec?”

“You’ll never have to know, Jilly Bean. I
love you.”

“I love you too,” I answered and squeezed her
tight.

Rebecca left me alone in my bedroom to
quickly get dressed before Lincoln came back. I threw on jeans and
a sweatshirt, put my contacts in, and brushed my brownish-blond
hair out before redoing my messy ponytail. I wished I had time for
a shower. I thought I looked nice last night, but this morning was
a different story. However, I didn’t want to give my sister any
time to talk to Lincoln alone. I didn’t look my best, but at least
it was better than how I looked when Lincoln first saw me this
morning. And I told myself it didn’t matter anyway. I was just
going to talk to the man and potentially go shopping for a new coat
with him.

I was helping clean up the kitchen with
Rebecca when the doorbell rang. We both lunged for it, but I beat
her to it, thankfully. I opened the door, and there he was. He was
wearing a dark blue puffer coat that hugged his body and jeans that
fit him beautifully. He stood in the doorway holding a carrier with
four drinks from the coffee shop around the corner. His face was
etched in anxiety, but he quickly replaced that with a bright smile
when he saw I had answered the door dressed in something other than
pajamas.

“Hello” he said cautiously, as his eyes swept
over me.

“Hi.” I answered back, hating my lame
reply.

“Is it okay if I come back in? I brought
coffee for you and your sister and a hot chocolate for Tabitha.” He
held up the drink carrier. “I hope that’s all right. I promise not
to spill it on you.” He laughed nervously and I wanted to roll my
eyes. Would he never let me forget that embarrassing moment?

“Jillian! Let the man in!” Rebecca demanded
from the kitchen. I swung the door open farther, and Lincoln
stepped inside. I took the drink carrier from him and started
toward the kitchen.

“Tabby Cat! Lincoln brought you a treat!” I
called to my niece who was playing on the computer in the living
room. I heard the thump of Tabitha’s feet hit the floor and the
quick pitter-patter of her bare feet as she raced into the
kitchen.

“What is it?! What is it?!” Tabitha squealed
as she ran up and made a quick stop next to me. I pulled out the
small cup.

“It’s hot chocolate from the coffeehouse.”
Tabitha’s eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together. “Sit down
on the stool and I’ll set it here. It’s very hot, so be
careful.”

Tabitha started jumping up and down and made
a move to grab the cup. “Uh-uh!” I stopped her. “It’s really hot.
And you have to thank Lincoln first.”

Tabitha stopped jumping and ran toward
Lincoln, wrapping her arms around his legs. “Thank you, Mr.
Lincoln!” Tabitha said with her face pressed into Lincoln’s
side.

“Whoa,” Lincoln said as Tabitha knocked him
back slightly with the force of her hug. “Uh, you’re welcome,
squirt,” he replied with a smile and patted her on the head.
Tabitha released him, took a sip of the drink, and ran back to the
living room.

“Sorry about her. She was at a sleepover last
night and is kind of running on lack of sleep and a sugar high
right now,” I said with a laugh.

“That’s okay. I was just hoping to get the
same reaction from you over the coffee.” He smiled suggestively at
me. I looked away awkwardly and I felt my face blush. I was not
sure what to respond to that. I heard Rebecca sputter into her
coffee and then start coughing. Lincoln smile grew even bigger.

“Um, yeah. Thank you for the coffee,” I said,
although I was not going to hug him like Tabitha did.

“Yeah, thanks Lincoln!” Rebecca said, and I
looked over at her. She was standing on the opposite side of the
kitchen island, looking back and forth between Lincoln and me with
a shit-eating grin on her face. Crossing my arms over my chest, I
bugged my eyes out at her in an attempt to get her to take the hint
to leave.

“Oh! Right! I’ll just go see what Tabby is
looking at on the computer,” Rebecca said and walked out of the
room with her drink, leaving Lincoln and me alone in the
kitchen.

“Your sister seems nice,” Lincoln said,
breaking the silence in an attempt to encourage conversation.

“She is.” I looked up at Lincoln and into his
eyes. I made a decision right then and there. I would follow my
sister’s advice. I would let down the metaphoric walls I put up to
block him out, at least temporarily. I was curious as to why he was
here, and I knew I would have to engage in conversation with him.
Rebecca was right; he hadn’t done anything wrong, and I couldn’t
treat him as if he had. “She lets me live here for cheap, and I
help out with Tabitha. It works well for both of us,” I said,
realizing this was the first personal detail I had shared with
him.

Lincoln smiled and nodded in return, and I
could see the tension in his body ease. “Tabitha seems like a great
kid.” Lincoln offered in what I thought was an attempt to keep me
talking.

I nodded and took a sip of coffee. “She
really is. I hate to brag, but she’s honestly like the perfect kid.
But I guess everyone says that about their nieces and nephews,” I
said and blushed again, feeling stupid.

Lincoln took a small step forward and shook
his head. “No. You have a way of bringing out the best in everyone,
not just your niece. I saw it last night.”

I scoffed. We hadn’t even been together last
night for more than an hour and a half and most of that was spent
watching the parade. “Lincoln…,” I started to say.

“Can we talk?” Lincoln asked bluntly,
interrupting my objection.

“I thought that’s what we were doing,” I said
with a small smile.

“Right,” Lincoln said with a chuckle. He ran
his hand over the back of his neck. “Can we go for a walk?” he
asked hopefully. “It’s not as cold out today. Oh wait. Do you have
a coat that’s not covered in chocolate?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I have a coat. Just
give me a second.” I set down my coffee and walked down the hall
out of Lincoln’s sight. I opened the closet where we kept our coats
and outdoor apparel and reached for my everyday coat. It was
nowhere near as fancy or cute as my white coat from last night, but
since Lincoln was dressed casual today, I figured it would
work.

“No, not that one,” Rebecca whispered from
behind me. “Wear this one,” she said as she handed me a coat. It
was her red and white super adorable flannel coat that she never
let me borrow. Still casual but much better than my everyday coat.
I sighed and took the coat from my sister.

“You must really want this to work out,” I
said cynically.

“Just don’t let him spill anything on it,”
Rebecca said as she helped me put it on.

Lincoln smiled brightly at me as I appeared
in the entryway where he was waiting. I grabbed my purse and
double-check that I had my cell phone, keys, and money before
shouting a good-bye to my sister and niece. I walked out the front
door and turned to make sure Lincoln was following and my breath
caught. Lincoln had put on a knit hat and sunglasses and it made
him look even more attractive. My mouth watered at the sight of
him, and I wanted to run my fingers through the slight beard scruff
on his face and press my lips against his and kiss him deeply. I
couldn’t get over how hot he looked in that moment. He came up next
to me and looked down at me. I could see my reflection in his
sunglasses, and I knew I was just standing there gawking at him,
but I couldn’t make myself move.

“Ready to go?” Lincoln asked, furrowing his
brow in concern. I figured he was probably wondering why I was just
standing there staring at him.

“Mmhmm.” I nodded. It was about all I could
do. Lincoln let out a small chuckle and took my arm to urge me
forward.

“Is there somewhere to walk around here? A
park or something?” Lincoln asked.

“Um…yeah. There’s a city park with a good
walking trail on the other side of Modesto Street. It goes around a
small pond. They usually clean the snow off the trail,” I said.

“I’m familiar with it,” Lincoln said,
surprising me. “Maybe we should drive there though. That’s not
actually that close,” Lincoln said, leading me to his black FJ
Cruiser. The park wasn’t that far away but it was still January,
and while it was warmer than usual, it’s not like it was really
pleasant out.

“Oh, if you don’t want to go there, we could
just walk around the block, maybe?” I offered as I got into his
vehicle. It had seemed like he was reluctant to go to the park, and
I wanted to offer an alternative.

“I’m fine with the park. That’s one of my
favorite parks, honestly. I just don’t want you to get too cold.”
Lincoln closed my door, and I buckled myself in. I stared at him as
he walked around the vehicle and got in his side. His consideration
and kindness confused me. I looked back at the house and saw
Rebecca watching us out the window. She noticed my attention and
gave me a smile and thumbs-up. And with that simple motion, all my
confidence evaporated. It was too much to wish that a man as
handsome as Lincoln would notice me, much less want to spend time
with me. Lincoln seemed not to realize it or care, but I knew we
were not in the same league. We would go coat shopping, and that
would be it. I had to put my foot down before I got hurt again.

Lincoln climbed in his side of the vehicle
and smiled at me as he put his seat belt on. “Ready?” he asked, and
all I could do was nod in reply. I watched Rebecca in the window as
Lincoln pulled away from the curb, and I took a deep breath and
sighed. To say I was nervous to be alone with him was an
understatement.

We rode the short distance to the park in
silence. I played nervously with my seat belt and could not look
over at Lincoln although I felt his eyes occasionally watching me.
Lincoln pulled into the parking lot next to the walking trail. The
trail was only a mile or so long and made a loop around a small
pond where kids liked to play pond hockey during the winter. I
smiled as I saw today was particularly busy on the pond. I watched
boys and girls of various ages chase a puck around a makeshift
rink, hollering and cheering one another on.

My door opened, surprising me. Lincoln stood
holding his hand out for me. “Oh, sorry,” I said, scrambling to
take my seat belt off.

“It’s fine,” Lincoln said with a smile and
helped me out of my seat. He closed the car door behind me, and we
stood next to the vehicle and watched the kids.

“I bet those kids would go crazy if they knew
you were watching them play.” I smiled warmly at the thought.

Lincoln chuckled. “Probably. But I rather
walk with you than sign autographs.”

“Oh. Um. Okay.” I stuttered, and we began
walking. I still didn’t know why he wanted to walk with me.

We walked for a while in silence. He had said
he wanted to talk to me, but I wasn’t sure if he was composing his
thoughts or simply enjoying the quiet moment like I was. I wondered
if I should break the silence. I thought back to those kids playing
hockey and blurted out, “How long have you played hockey?”

He smiled. “For as long as I can remember,”
he said easily. “My mom likes to say I was skating before I was
walking. I’m not even sure how they found skates that small.” He
chuckled. “I played the youth leagues when I was those kids’ age. I
actually played on this pond a lot. My parents encouraged my hockey
obsession until I got to high school. Then they told me I either
had to quit or I had to be phenomenal. And there was no way I was
going to quit. So I worked my ass off keeping my grades up while
playing every spare minute I could.” He paused.

“Then you went pro?” I asked, prompting him
to keep talking.

“No, I played in college. I didn’t sign with
the Blackhawks until I graduated,” Lincoln replied.

“And you’ve always played for them?” The
second the question was out of my mouth, I felt stupid. I should
probably know that. I was sure there were fans out there that knew
every last detail of his career, but I never really followed any
sport that close. I enjoyed watching the occasional game no matter
what sport it was, but I never got that into it.