All These Things I've Done (8 page)

‘Bottoms up,’ Scarlet said.

‘What’s that phrase mean exactly?’ Win asked.

Scarlet shook her head. ‘You ask a lot of questions,’ she said. She took his hat off his head and placed it on her own. I felt sad for Scarlet, because she was using the same move my little sister had.

I took a sip of my beer and, in my head, I toasted Daddy. Nana said that kids used to get in trouble for drinking when she was young and teen drinking had been illegal. Now you could get alcohol at any age as long as the person supplying it had the right permits – it was no harder to come by than ice cream and significantly less hard than getting, say, a ream of paper. It seemed incredibly strange to imagine that people had ever cared so much about alcohol. Maybe the illegality had been the enticement, I don’t know. I’d rather have water any day. Alcohol made me fuzzy when my lifestyle required me to be sharp.

We left the bar and headed to the dance floor. The music was appropriately deafening and someone had brought in strobe lights, but you could still feel that the original intent of this place hadn’t been nightclub. Even packed with a thousand people, all the stone made it incongruously cool inside. There were marble pedestals everywhere and girls in underwear-like clothing were dancing atop them. If you walked a bit further, you came upon a shallow, intricately tiled pool that was roughly the size of a ballroom, and a mosaic fountain under a mural depicting a bucolic villa by the water. Both the pool and the fountain were, of course, completely drained and badly in need of a renovation that I knew would not be forthcoming. For a second, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what it must have looked like when it was a museum. At some point, I became aware of Win standing next to me. His gaze was fixed on the mural and I wondered if we were thinking the same thing.

‘Stop daydreaming, you two,’ Scarlet yelled. ‘There’s dancing to be done!’ She grabbed my hand, then Win’s, and pulled us into the middle of the dance floor.

Scarlet danced next to me for a while and then she danced over to Win. I sort of danced by myself (making sure to keep my arms down so as not to reveal the hole in my dress or inadvertently make it larger) and observed Scarlet and Win. Scarlet was quite a good dancer. Win, uh, wasn’t. He hopped around like an insect or something. His moves were comical.

He hopped over to me. ‘Are you laughing at me?’ he said, leaning down to my ear. The music was so loud he needed to do this in order to be heard.

‘No, I swear.’ I paused. ‘I’m laughing with you.’

‘But I’m not laughing,’ he said, and then he was laughing. ‘Notice you don’t move your arms much yourself.’

‘You found me out,’ I said. I held up my arm. As I did this, I became aware of a person across the dance floor, a person who shouldn’t have been there at all. Leo.

‘Jesus Christ,’ I muttered. I turned to Scarlet. ‘Leo’s here. I have to go deal with him. You’ll be OK?’

She squeezed my hand. ‘Go,’ she said.

As I pushed my way through the undulating bodies, I told myself to calm down, act casual and try not to make a scene.

When I finally got to Leo, he was surrounded by a group of sleazy girls, all older than me. I wasn’t shocked. Leo was good-looking and, on the rare occasions he went out, usually had a full wallet – he couldn’t help but attract this sort of thing. If he couldn’t always keep up his end of the conversation, well, I guess a certain kind of girl wouldn’t notice that or even care if she did.

I wedged my way between Leo and one of the skanks. ‘Hey!’ she yelled. ‘Wait your turn.’

‘He’s my brother!’ I yelled back.

‘Hi, Annie,’ Leo said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world that we should run into each other.

‘Hi, yourself,’ I said. ‘Thought you were staying in tonight.’

‘I was,’ he admitted. ‘But right after you left, Jacks stopped by and said we should go out.’

‘Jacks is here?’ I asked, thinking it might be a good time to have a word with my increasingly present, increasingly annoying cousin.

‘Yeah.’ Leo pointed to the edge of the pool, where Jacks was sitting with an oddly tanned redhead who seemed to be laughing at everything he said. Cousin Jacks always had a pretty girl by his side, and in general women seemed to find him attractive, though I personally didn’t get his appeal. He was short and very slim. His legs were too long for his torso. Before Jacks’s mother became a prostitute, back when dancing was something people could do for a living, she had been a professional ballerina, and I suppose Jacks took after her. Jacks’s eyes were green like mine, except his were always darting around the room to see if there was someone better he could be talking to. He had letters tattooed on his knuckles that read
VORY V
ZAKONE,
which I knew translated to ‘thieves in law’.

I looked at my brother. He was sweating a bit, and I wondered if his head was hurting him as it sometimes did in noisy places, or if I was being overly protective and he was just hot from dancing. ‘Leo, are you feeling OK?’ I asked.

‘I’m fine,’ he said.

‘Don’t worry, baby sister,’ one of the sleazy girls said to me. ‘We’ll take care of your brother.’ She laughed and took Leo by the hand.

I ignored her and said to Leo, ‘I’m going to talk to Jacks and then I’m going home. Walk me back, OK?’

Leo nodded.

‘I’ll come find you when I’m done with Jacks,’ I told him.

On the steps of the pool, Jacks was busy groping the redheaded girl. She didn’t seem to mind.

‘Why, if it isn’t Little Orphan Annie Balanchine all grown up!’ Jacks greeted me. He slapped the redhead’s thigh, then waved her away with a flick of his wrist. She didn’t even have the dignity to look offended. Jacks stood up and kissed me on the cheek. I kissed the air somewhere near his cheek. I wasn’t going to let my lips make contact with his flesh. ‘It’s good to see you, Annie.’

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘How long has it been?’

I shrugged, but I knew exactly how long it had been. ‘So, I suppose I should be thanking you for helping with Leo’s work situation,’ I said.

Jacks waved his hand. ‘Leo’s a good kid, and you know I’d do anything for your daddy. Don’t mention it.’

I looked Jacks in the eyes. ‘I have to mention it, cousin, because it wouldn’t be right to accept such a favour without knowing what the giver expects in return.’

Jacks laughed and took a swig from a silver flask that he kept in his trouser pocket. He offered some to me, but I declined. ‘You’re paranoid, kid. Not sure I blame you, considering what your upbringing’s been like.’

‘Daddy told me that he didn’t want Leo working in the family business in any capacity,’ I said. (Maybe those hadn’t been Daddy’s exact words but I felt confident that was what he would have wanted.)

Jacks took a moment to consider this information. ‘Big Leo’s been gone a long time, Annie. Maybe he didn’t know what your brother’s abilities were when he made such a pronouncement.’

‘Abilities?’ I repeated. ‘What do you know of Leo’s abilities?’

‘Maybe you’re too close to see it, but your brother’s not the same kid who got hurt all those years ago. You got him cooped up half the day with the old lady and the other half the day at that dumb animal job.’ He pointed to Leo, who was dancing with the same sleazy girls. ‘He’s thriving here. Someone needs to air the kid out once in a while.’

Maybe he was right, but it still didn’t explain what Jacks gained by helping Leo. I decided to put it to him point-blank. ‘So, what’s in it for you?’

‘Like I said, I’d do anything for your old man.’

‘Daddy’s dead,’ I reminded him. ‘Helping Leonyd’s son’s not gonna buy you any favours.’

‘Real cynic, you. Actually, Annie, helping your brother does buy me something. It makes me look better to the other men in the family. Maybe the connection to your father puts a little residual shine on me, too. God knows I could use that.’

He was finally making sense. ‘All right.’

‘There’s a good little girl,’ Jacks said, looking me up and down. ‘You ain’t so little any more, cousin.’

‘Thanks for noticing.’ I turned to find my brother. At that moment, an alarm wailed. Lights began to flash, and an official-sounding voice blared through a bullhorn: ‘Everyone out! This establishment is being shut down by order of the New York Police Department and the New York City Department of Health. Patrons must evacuate now! Stragglers will be arrested!’

‘Someone must not have paid off the right person,’ Jacks said to me. ‘Wasn’t like this when Big Leo ran New York.’

I went to find (Little) Leo but I couldn’t see him anywhere and the momentum of the crowd began pushing me towards the exit. It was move or be trampled. I lost Jacks, which was fine with me, and I didn’t see Scarlet or Win either.

Finally, I was outside on the steps where I could breathe again. I took a second to clear my head before looking for Leo. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was one of the slutty girls Leo had been dancing with. Outdoors in the night, she looked more innocent though. ‘You’re the sister, right?’ she asked.

I nodded.

‘Something’s wrong with your brother.’

V.
i regret having gone to little egypt

S
HE LED ME ACROSS THE
steps to the south side of the building, not far from where Natty had been held up a scant four days prior. My brother was writhing on the ground like an insect under a magnifying glass on a sunny day.

‘What’s wrong with him?’ the slutty girl asked. Her voice sounded a bit repulsed, and the only thing that stopped me from shoving her was that she had, at least, been decent enough to come and find me.

‘It’s just a seizure,’ I said. I was about to yell at someone to please protect his head from hitting the unforgiving marble stairs when I noticed someone already was.

Win held Leo’s head in his lap. ‘I know it’s not ideal,’ Win said when he saw me. ‘But we couldn’t get him to a softer surface, and I didn’t want him to bang his head.’

‘Thank you,’ I said.

‘Scarlet spotted him,’ Win told me. ‘She’s looking for you right now.’

I thanked him again.

I took my brother’s hand and squeezed it. ‘I’m here,’ I said. I looked into his eyes. The convulsions had stopped, which meant it was over. He’d had seizures on and off since the accident, though it had been a fairly long time since his last one. I was guessing the blinking lights or the loud music had set it off this time. ‘You’re fine.’

Leo nodded but he didn’t look convinced.

‘Can you walk?’ Win asked him.

‘Yes,’ Leo replied. ‘I think so.’

Win introduced himself as he helped Leo to his feet. ‘I’m Win. I go to school with Anya.’

‘Leo.’

Scarlet rejoined us. ‘Oh God, Annie, I was looking everywhere for you! I’m so glad you found us!’ Scarlet threw her arms around Leo. ‘I was so worried about you,’ she said to my brother. There were tears in her eyes.

‘Don’t worry. I’m fine,’ Leo said to Scarlet. I could tell Leo was embarrassed that Scarlet had seen him that way. ‘It’s nothing.’

‘Well, it sure didn’t look like nothing,’ Scarlet said. ‘Poor Leo.’

‘We should get moving,’ Win said.

He was right. There were cops everywhere and curfew was approaching. Best to be on our way.

Leo’s gait was a bit wobbly so Scarlet stood on one side of him, clutching his arm, and Win on the other. I walked behind them. The slutty girl was nowhere to be seen. Same with Jacks.

Our little caravan was slow and unsteady, and the trip back to the apartment took considerably longer than the trip there. By the time we got back, it was past city curfew, so Win had to call his parents to let them know he was spending the night at my place.

Scarlet went to the bathroom to deal with a few fairly intense blisters from her shoes, and I went to put Leo to bed. I helped him change out of his clothes, which were soiled from the seizure, and into his pyjamas.

‘Goodnight,’ I said, kissing my brother on the forehead. ‘I love you, Leo.’

‘You don’t think Scarlet saw?’ Leo asked as I turned off the light.

‘Saw what?’ I asked.

‘That I . . . peed.’

‘No. I doubt she noticed. And it wasn’t your fault. And even if she did, she loves you, Leo.’

Leo nodded. ‘I’m sorry if I ruined your night, Annie.’

‘Please,’ I said. ‘My night was awful before you even entered the picture. You made things more interesting.’

I popped my head into Natty’s room. Even though she was twelve, she still looked like a baby when she slept.

I went into the bathroom, where Scarlet was applying a bandage to one of her blisters. ‘Before you even say anything, Miss Balanchine, it was totally worth it,’ Scarlet said. ‘I looked completely amazing.’

‘You did,’ I agreed. ‘Why don’t you bring some blankets out to Win in the living room?’ I suggested.

Scarlet smiled. ‘That boy,’ she said in a strange, vaguely Spanish accent. ‘He is not for me.’

‘But you do both like hats,’ I said.

‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘And he is adorable. But, alas, no’ – she returned to her weird accent – ‘how you say? No chemistry, señorita.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I said.

She switched to French.
‘C
’
est la vie. Cest l’amour.’
She removed her make-up with a cloth. ‘You should bring out the blankets, Anya.’

‘What are you saying?’ I asked.

‘I’m saying that I won’t mind if you bring the blankets to Win.’

‘I’m not into him,’ I protested, ‘if that’s what “bring the blankets” means.’

Scarlet kissed me on the cheek. ‘Well, I don’t know where you keep the bedclothes anyway.’

I went to the hallway and took an extra set of linens out of the closet for Win.

In the living room, he had taken off his dress shirt but was still wearing his trousers and a plain white undershirt.

‘Thank you again,’ I said to him.

‘Is your brother OK?’ Win asked.

I nodded. ‘Embarrassed mainly.’ I set the linens on the couch. ‘These are for you. Bathroom’s in the hallway. Second door after my room and before Natty’s and Leo’s, but if you hit my dying grandmother’s room, you’ll definitely know you’ve gone too far. Kitchen’s right over there but it’s basically empty. You’re here on a Friday, and I can only bring myself to haggle for rationed products on the weekend. Well, goodnight.’