All Things Lost (51 page)

     I shook my head.

     “Nothing concrete,” Judy answered as she shut the door carefully.
“Just some almost indescribable emotions.
It's hard to put them into words.”

     “So what do we do now?”

     Judy smiled. “We go to sleep just as planned. I'm hoping I'll get some messages in my dreams. The planes tend to converge in your dreams.”

     “I don't think I'll be able to sleep,” I said. “And I'm not sure I want to.”

     Judy slipped her arms around my shoulder and steered me towards the stairs. “You'll be fine, sweetie. You're doing great, you're being so brave!”

     “I don't feel brave,” I mumbled as I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Micah was following us. He was. “I just feel scared to death.”

     “Bravery doesn't mean a lack of fear,” Judy said.

     “I know. Adam's always saying that bravery means being scared out of your wits but doing what you have to do anyway.”

     
“Exactly.”

     “I don't really like being brave. I think I'd rather be a coward and run off and hide, like Kane.”

     She laughed. “Kane isn't really a coward, but I have to admit he's a little lacking in the bravery department. In his defense, he is still very young.”

     “I was confronting a murderer at his age.”

     “Yes, I know. I was there, remember? And as I recall you very nearly became one of his victims.”

     “So that just proves that bravery isn't always the smartest course.”

     “Maybe not, but it's often the best course.”

     “What's often the best course?” Steve asked as we entered the bedroom. I wondered why he hadn't joined Judy in her flight down the stairs but before I could ask he went on, “And where did you go in such a hurry?”

     “Bravery is often the best course, and you didn't hear the crying?”

     “Crying? The baby was crying again?”

     “Yes, even Micah heard it.”

     “I didn't!”

     Judy turned to Micah. “Are you a sensitive?” she asked him.

     “Not that I know of,” he answered.

     “I heard it before!” Steve wailed. “Why didn't I hear it this time?”

     “I don't know,” Judy said thoughtfully, “Maybe you weren't listening, or maybe you're just tired so you aren't as receptive.”

     “If you hear it again, tell me so I can see if I hear it.”

     “Ok, from now on we'll all announce anything out of the ordinary that occurs. That way there can be at least two people to witness it if at all possible. Now, I suggest we get some sleep,” she rushed on as I opened my mouth to comment, “or at least try to get some sleep.”

     Steve had set up four makeshift beds on the floor, spaced evenly around the room. I was in no mood to be stuck off by myself in one corner so I drug my bedding over next to Micah's and crawled into them without a word. Micah gave me a smile but no one else commented. Steve stood by the door until the rest of us were all tucked in, then he turned the light off. Then, using his flashlight as a
guide,
made his way to his own spot and settled in. When his flashlight flicked off and complete darkness settled over the room like a blanket, I reached out my hand and fumbled for Micah's. His strong hand slid into mine and I instantly felt comforted. Almost without thought I found myself snuggling into his chest. His arms wrapped around me and much to my surprise I soon felt myself dozing off.

* * *

     My dreams were filled with strange and disturbing images for the rest of the night.
When I awoke the next morning only two if the strange visions remained with me, however.
In the first I found myself standing in the yard of the huge house, except the yard was very different. The trees around the house were much smaller and the forest surrounding the property was much deeper. It was night and a wispy white mist swirled through the trees and over the water of the creek. I watched while a small rowboat made its way up the stream. Its sole occupant was wearing a heavy hooded cloak that made it impossible to see his face. I was certain, however, that it was a man. He tied the boat up to a rough dock and ran towards the house, which was dark except for a dim light in the cupola. For some reason I felt a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach.

     The second dream was far more disturbing. A woman was on her knees in the dirt digging frantically with her bare hands. Her thick dark hair hung down, covering much of her face. She was surrounded by utter darkness except for the flickering light of a single candle. It was obvious the woman was very distressed. I realized who it was from the sudden flash of reflected candlelight off the intricate gold brooch she wore on her bosom. It was
Amalie
. As I watched helplessly I realized that there was something just on the edge of the candle's light. It was a baby, wrapped in a blanket.

     I was laying half asleep still thinking about the haunting image from my dream when it came back to me that I wasn't in my bed at home and remembered where I was and whose arm was draped across my body. I sat up with a jolt, waking Micah in the process. He blinked blearily up at me as I looked wildly around the room. Steve was still asleep in his little nest of blankets but Judy's was empty.

     “Good morning,” Micah said with a sleep heavy voice. He reached up and pulled me gently down for a kiss. I couldn't help but smile. “Did you sleep ok?” he asked.

     “I had some strange dreams. I need to go find Judy and tell her about them.”

     “Ok, I think I'll just lay here and rest some more,” he said.

     After a quick detour to the bathroom, I began looking for Judy. I finally found her in the back yard staring out at the creek.

     “Good morning,” I said quietly, so as not to startle her as I walked up. She glanced over at me with a small half-smile.

     “Did you dream?” she asked without preamble. I nodded. “Tell me about them.”

     “I only remember two,” I said.

     “Then those are the ones that are important. Tell me yours and I'll tell you what I saw.”

     I took a deep breath and related the dreams as well as I could recall them. When I had finished she stood thoughtfully for a few seconds before speaking.

     “It's all
coming
together now,” she said so softly I almost had to lean in to hear her. “The second dream fits in with what I saw. The first…well I don't understand where it fits at this time but I'm sure it must.”

     “What did you see?”

     “I saw
Amalie
. She was in the cupola and she was holding a baby in her arms. It was cold and one of the windows was missing a pane so the baby was wrapped tightly in blankets. She was staring out the windows although it was getting darker and darker and she couldn't possibly see anything even if there had been anything to see. Finally she turned from the windows and I could see that she had been crying. She walked to the stairs and started down but either she missed a step or she slipped or something because she suddenly pitched forward. The stairs are so narrow and she fell so suddenly she didn't have time to do anything. She landed on the baby with her entire weight. I didn't see anything after that but it had to have killed the baby.”

     “Oh my God,” I whispered.

     We stood for a while in a kind of horrified, saddened silence. Finally Judy spoke, “So now we know what happened, or at least part of it. Let's go tell the others what we've pieced together.”

     I wasn't entirely clear what we had pieced together but I followed her back into the house. Steve and Micah were just coming downstairs.

     “Who's up for some breakfast,” Steve was saying but as soon as he saw our faces he stopped abruptly. “What's wrong?”

     “We have an idea of what happened,” Judy told him.

     “What?
How?”

     “Killian and I saw some visions last night in our sleep. I think they were images of what happened in this house over a hundred years ago. I think
Amalie
became pregnant and had the baby here in the house, possibly even alone while the Captain was out to sea.”

     “If the Captain was out to sea, whose baby was it?” Micah asked.

     “She could have been pregnant when he left and they simply didn't know it. Or it wouldn't have been that uncommon for a young, beautiful woman left alone for much of the year to have a lover. Maybe it was his. There's no way for us to know at this point, although maybe that has something to do with Killian's first dream.” She quickly told them about the man in the boat and then finished up with the big news. “My dream and Killian's second dream are the ones that really brought the picture into focus, though. One night, after the baby was born, it seems
Amalie
was watching for the Captain's return in the cupola. She fell down the steps while holding the baby and it would appear the baby died. Killian saw her digging a hole, probably to bury the baby in.”

     “Holy shit,” Micah said under his breath.

     Steve wasn't ready to accept what she had told him just yet. “How do you know this is what really happened and not just a bunch of dreams brought on by circumstances?”

     “It fits the facts we have and the feelings Killian and I have been having. In fact, I think she buried the baby in the basement.”

     “What?” Micah and I exclaimed at the same time while Steve stared at her in silent horror.

     “Why would she do that?” I gasped.

     “It was winter, probably very cold outside. The ground may have been too frozen for her to dig or maybe she just wanted the baby close to her. She probably wasn't thinking very clearly. The baby I saw was very small, obviously not very old and post partum depression isn't a new phenomenon even if they didn't call it that back then.”

     “So there's a baby buried in my basement?” Steve asked in a somewhat shaky voice. I knew how he felt.

     “It seems likely. The only way to find out for sure is to dig.”

     “
What
?”

     “We'll have to dig and see.”

     “And what if we do find something? What do we do then?”

     “Well I suggest we have a minister hear when we do the digging. If we find the baby then common decency would demand that we rebury it. I would suggest maybe by its mother in the private cemetery right here on the property.”

     Steve still looked like he could pass out at any second.

     “How does this explain
Amalie's
haunting?” Micah asked.

     “I think it explains it very well. Usually what we call a ghost is really a spirit that is caught in this plane, unable to move on for whatever reason. Maybe by choice or maybe it's simply caught in this one and doesn't fully realize it is deceased. Often a great trauma is the cause and what greater trauma is there than losing a child?”

     “But
Amalie
didn't die right away,” I interrupted. “Would she still be that…emotional about the death of her baby months or years later?”

     “Her baby died in her own arms, maybe she even blamed herself. Then her husband never returned. She probably lost the will to live and simply faded away.”

     “But why come back? What's her unfinished business?” Steve asked, breaking out of his stupor.

     For once Judy didn't have an answer ready on the tip of her tongue, but suddenly I thought maybe I did. “She can't leave the baby,” I said.

     Everyone turned to look at me. “I don't think she meant to leave it buried in the basement. But then she didn't want to be away from it so she never moved it. And I bet she never even told anyone about the baby. If she was alone here in the house then no one would ever even know she had it. If anyone even knew she was pregnant then they would probably assume she'd miscarried since she had before. We know that she became reclusive after the Captain never came back, almost never leaving the house. When she died she was buried in the cemetery but she couldn't stand to leave the baby alone. I think that's what she's been trying to tell us. She wants us to know about the baby.”

     The words had barely left my mouth when the sound of door after door being slammed shut began to reverberate throughout the house. It went on for several seconds and then a sudden silence descended on the house.

     “Was that a sign?” Steve asked; his eyes as wide as mine felt.

     A creaking sound from behind us caused us all to spin around in time to see the basement door slowly swing open.

     “I think we can assume it was,” Judy said with satisfaction in her voice.

* * *

     We didn't stay in the house very long after that. It was a Sunday so I didn't have to go to work, but there was nothing really to do there now that we knew, or thought we knew, what was going on. Arrangements had to be made to dig up the basement floor and ideally the woods should be cleared before we did that in the event we did find a baby down there. I think we all wanted to be able to rebury it as quickly as possible. I wondered what exactly would be left of a tiny little baby after all this time.
Probably not much more than a miniature skeleton.
Would we even find that much? And what if we didn't? That would mean our whole theory was blown and we'd have to start from scratch. There was nothing I could do about any of that now and it was terribly morbid to think about. I decided I needed something to distract myself. I forced myself to think about something else. Of course, the first thing my brain latched onto was Judy's cryptic comments about someone lying to me.