Allegiant (35 page)

“
Hello?” It’s my
mom.

“
Hey, Mom.” My voice wavers
and she can hear it.

“
What’s wrong?” she
immediately asks. There’s no fooling her.

I try to sound upbeat. “Nothing’s wrong!
Actually, I have some pretty exciting news.”

“
You’re pregnant,” she says
in a dry tone.

“
What? No! Mom! Come
on!”

“
Well?” I can hear the
smile in her voice. “Something’s up. I’m your mother, I know these
things.”

I take a deep breath. “I’ve been selected by
the school for a study abroad trip.”

“
That’s great!” my mom
exclaims. “How’d that happen?”

Oh boy. More lies. “Um, a student that was
supposed to go couldn’t, so my advisor nominated me.”

“
Where are you
headed?”

“
Ireland.”

“
Really?” She sounds
impressed. I hear movement against the phone. “Dale, guess what?
Your daughter has been selected to study abroad in
Ireland!”

I can hear him say something in the
background. It sounds like “Wow. When?”

My mom comes back to me. “Yeah, when? Next
semester?”

“
No, mom, actually…” my
voice fades. “I leave tomorrow.”

I can picture her frown. “Tomorrow?”

“
Well, the trip’s been
planned for awhile and I was just added. I’ll be gone for the rest
of the year.” At least.

Her tone turns suspicious. “Why would the
school plan a trip in the middle of the semester?”

“
I don’t know.” I shake my
head against the phone. “I’m just taking advantage of the
opportunity.”

My mother pauses for a moment then throws
out my entire name. “Emma. Lynn. Donohue.”

Shit.

“
You mean to tell me that
you are leaving the country tomorrow without any notice? You have
to have time to plan; you need a passport!”

“
I have a passport,” I
lie.

“
Since when?”

“
Since last
year.”

“
So your father and I won’t
get to see you before you go? You’ll be gone for
Christmas?”

I can barely find my voice. “Yes.”

“
Emma, I don’t like this,”
my mom says, irritated. “We hardly get to see you as it is, and now
you’ll be gone for the holidays?”

“
I don’t like the timing
either.” I try to defend my false story. “But this is a once in a
lifetime chance. The school’s paying for everything; how would it
look if I said no? I was nominated.”

She sighs loudly then silence is heavy over
the phone. When she breaks it, what she says crushes my heart. “I
feel like you’re lying to me.”

That’s because I
am
, my mind responds. How can I put her at
ease? “Would you like to talk to the advisor?” I ask. Dane will do
an impersonation for me. “I can have him call you tomorrow when we
leave. Will that help?”

She doesn’t immediately respond, and I don’t
know what else to say. She doesn’t deserve to be fed this silly
story, but the truth is unbelievable and out of the question.

“
Can we call you while
you’re gone?” she finally asks.

“
Of course. And you can
email, too.”

“
What time do you leave
tomorrow?”

“
Early. Six
a.m.”

“
From
Kalamazoo?”

“
Yes.”

“
I still can’t believe you
waited until now to tell us,” she says. “When
did
you find out?”

“
Yesterday,” I
whisper.

“
Yesterday?!” She sounds
upset. “Emma, what in the world is going on?”

“
Mom, please,” I almost
beg. “Support me in this. I promise you it’s the best decision for
me to make right now. I need to get out of here.” It’s time to play
the James card, even though I didn’t know I had a James card to
play. “This campus, the memories, what was supposed to be…I’m
suffocating. I need to finish school, and I will get credit for
this trip. I need to graduate and get the hell out of here.”
Normally, I don’t swear around my parents, but maybe my curse will
relay the seriousness of what I say. All of this is
true.

“
I knew you shouldn’t have
gone back there so soon,” she says with regret. “Honey, why didn’t
you talk to me about this sooner? We could have made arrangements;
you could have taken a semester off. It’s not like your dad and I
were kicking you out of the house.”

“
I know,” I say, holding
back tears. “Listen, I really have to go. I need to
pack.”

“
What about the cat?” she
asks. “Who’s watching LB?”

“
My neighbor Garrett’s
taking her.”

She sighs again. “I’m worried about you. You
know that right? I want you to call and email me every chance you
get.”

“
I will,” I
promise.

“
Starting with tomorrow. I
want a phone call when you land, got it?”

“
Yes, ma’am.” I almost
smile. “I’m going to miss you.”

“
I’m going to miss you,
too. I already do,” she says. “I love you.”

“
I love you,
too.”

“
Do you want to talk to
your father?”

I don’t think I can handle anymore right
now. “No, Mom, I’m already emotional. Tell him I love him and I’ll
miss him – and I’ll drink some authentic Irish ale for him. Tell
Mike, too.”

She manages a small laugh. “I will.” She
pauses for a moment. “Take care of yourself, Em. I’m serious. If
that means you come home early, you come home early. I’ll fly over
there and get you if I have to.”

“
I know you would,” I say
as a tear travels down my cheek. I wipe it away and clear my
throat. “I have to go. I love you. I’ll talk to you
soon.”

“
Tomorrow,” she reminds
me.

“
Yes, tomorrow.”

“
Okay. Have a safe
flight.”

“
I will, Mom. Bye.” I hang
up before she can keep me any longer. I drop the phone onto the
chair and stare out past the patio toward the ocean. The tears I
was holding back trail silently down my face. I want to be home for
Christmas; I want to be home for Thanksgiving. I want to be home
now.

“
Hey.”

I look over my shoulder and find Dane
standing a few feet behind me. I wipe my cheeks. “How long have you
been there?”

“
A minute,” he says with a
sad expression. He walks over to where I’m sitting and kneels
beside me. He reaches out and wipes a tear from my chin. “I hate it
when you cry.”

I shrug, defeated.

“
Move over,” he says and
picks up my laptop and phone to set them on the ground. I slide
over against the armrest of the lounge, and he takes a seat next to
me, stretching out in the chair. It’s a tight fit. He wraps his
arms around me and pulls me over him, against his chest. I tuck my
head under his chin and weave one leg through his, so we have
enough room. As my tears continue to wind their way down my face,
he rubs my back.

“
I don’t want you to be
miserable,” he says quietly. “Tell me what I can do. I’ll be
whatever you need.”

“
You can’t,” I mumble
against him.

“
Try me.”

“
Can you be my home?” I ask
into his chest. It’s a silly request and one that doesn’t quite
make sense.

He squeezes me tightly and doesn’t even
question it. “Absolutely.”

Inevitably, time passes. One week later, I
sit at the dining table swirling the remains of my cereal around in
my bowl. I need to get motivated; I have two tests to take
today.

Thankfully, all of my instructors responded
to my email in a positive way, save one. Mr. Carlos will allow me
to submit my assignments online, but not take the tests. He says it
wouldn’t be fair, since I have access to my materials, but don’t
have access to a “secure testing location.” Whatever. My other
teachers are working with me, and three out of four ain’t bad. I
should have no problem passing this semester with at least a B
average.

The door to the garage opens and closes
behind me. “Morning.”

I look over my shoulder. “Good morning.” I
unfold my legs from under me and slide off the chair. “Do you want
breakfast?”

Dane walks toward me, pulling off his sweaty
shirt. “What are you making?”

“
Frosted Flakes,” I say and
hold up my bowl. “It’s a very complicated procedure.”

He pouts. “Aww. I was hoping for real food
like an omelet.”

I roll my eyes as I walk into the kitchen.
“You’re on your own.” I reach the sink and turn on the faucet to
rinse my bowl. “How was your run?” Dane was big into cross country
in high school and he’s decided to take it up again, now that he
has nothing better to do.

“
Great,” he says as he
stands opposite me across the breakfast bar. “You should join me.
It’s cathartic.”

I’m the biggest wuss when it comes to any
kind of endurance sport. “I told you before; I won’t even make it
half way. You’d have to carry me back.”

He places his hands against the countertop
and leans forward. “And that would be bad why?”

“
Shut up.” I shake my head
and place my bowl in the dish drainer. The day wouldn’t be complete
without some sort of smart comment coming out of his
mouth.

I leave the water running
and decide to wash the few dishes that remain in the sink. There’s
not many, just a few glasses and the bowl that held the popcorn.
Last night was movie night.
21 Jump
Street
was on TV. I blush as I remember the
constant ribbing Dane gave me over watching Channing
Tatum.

He walks around the breakfast bar and opens
the refrigerator, pulling out the orange juice. He sets it on the
counter beside me and then places his hands on my hips from behind,
making me jump. “What are you doing?”

He leans around me to grab one of the
glasses I just washed out of the dish rack. “Getting a glass.”

“
There’s a whole cupboard
of clean glasses behind you.”

“
I know,” he
grins.

I shoot him a condescending look. “Do we
need to have a conversation about good touch, bad touch?”

He places an innocent kiss on my cheek.
“Touching you could never be bad.” He picks up a glass and steps to
the side, removing his other hand from my hip. As he pours the
juice my face flushes. He’s upped the ante on the innuendo
today.

I finish washing the popcorn bowl and turn
off the faucet. “Are you headed to the shower or do I have a few
minutes? I want to get dressed before I take my tests.”

He swallows. “You know, the beauty of online
classes is that you can take your tests in whatever you have
on.”

“
I feel more prepared when
I’m presentable.” Actually, I just want to get out of my pajamas.
I’m feeling particularly vulnerable all of a sudden.

He tilts his head. “Yes, right now you are a
complete mess. In fact you are so unpresentable, I think you need a
shower.” He sets down his glass. “I’ll join you.”

My mouth falls open. “What has gotten into
you?”

He laughs. “I just had a good run, that’s
all.”

I give him a wary look. “I’m going to get
dressed.”

He picks up his glass again. “Okay. I’m
going to make bacon.”

I turn toward the bedroom and then stop when
I see his wet t-shirt lying on the counter. “Pick that up,” I say
and make a face. “It’s gross.”

He leans across the counter and grabs his
shirt. Satisfied, I head to the bedroom.

WHACK!
His sweaty shirt hits me squarely in the back, and I stop in
my tracks. I turn around and catch him trying to hide his grin
behind his glass like nothing happened. Apparently, today, we’ve
stepped back in time to kindergarten. I bend down slowly, pick his
shirt off the floor with two fingers, and raise an eyebrow. “That’s
how you want to play?”

He shrugs.

I can’t launch the shirt at him because it
will only make it half the distance. I don’t have many options
standing here in the hallway, so I decide to bide my time. “You
have no idea what you just started,” I threaten and narrow my eyes.
“Watch your back, Walker.”

“
Is that a
promise?”

I give him an adamant nod and then carry his
shirt into the bedroom. As I close the door behind me, I can hear
him laugh.

Later that afternoon, after I’ve read a few
chapters and taken my tests, I lounge on the couch, surfing the
internet. I’m sleepy today. I don’t know why; I’ve slept like a
rock the past few nights. Maybe I toss in my sleep more than I
realize. Dane hasn’t said anything though; you’d think he would if
I’d accidentally kicked him or something. My thoughts turn to
payback for earlier today, and I’m just about to Google pranks when
he comes through the sliding door.

“
Are you finished
yet?”

“
Yep.” I sit up. “Do you
need the computer?”

He nods. “I want to work on fixing those
pictures for your mom.”

My mother has requested that I send her
photos of Ireland. Since I can’t do that for real, Dane, master
graphic designer that he is, bought Photoshop and has been working
with the program and some images we pulled off the internet. He has
four pictures finished where he’s imposed me from photos I had on
my phone to stock photos of popular sites in Ireland. He wants to
do a few more, so I can send her a couple at a time.