Allure (16 page)

She doesn’t answer that.

‘I don’t want you to be anyone but you, Kira.’

She backs up against the wall, buries her fingers in her hair and gives me the kind of smile that stirs my cock, and I have no control over that. It’s happening, whether I want it to or not, because I’m seeing the woman I met that very first night now. She’s back.

‘I’m an escort, Neal. Your whore; the woman you paid for sex, and now you think you love me?’

‘Don’t do this, baby.’

She reaches out and grabs my tie, pulling me towards her, and before I can take another breath she’s kissing me, and I’m drowning, again, I’m falling so far under I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

‘That’s all I’m ever going to be,’ she whispers, and her words anger me. She can be so much more, she just needs to set herself free. ‘I don’t know if I can
do
anything else.’

‘You can do anything you want to, Kira.’

She shakes her head, and for a second the barriers are back down, and I can see something in her eyes that tells me I almost got to her, but in a second she’s swung them right back up.

‘You can be anything you want to be.’

‘I want to be me,’ she whispers, and I don’t know what she means by that, exactly, but she’s got her fingers in my hair and her body’s pressed right up against mine and I’m still trying desperately to gain some kind of control.

And then she pushes me away and heads into the dressing room, but I’m still not done. She can play this game, whatever the fuck it is, but I’m not done. I’ve got all fucking day.

‘You really want to throw your whole life away, huh? Because of something that happened so long ago?’

She swings around to face me, and her eyes are blazing. ‘
You
were willing to do it. Face it, Neal, we’re both messed-up, and I don’t know what fairytale scenario you’ve got going on inside your head… you really think we can fix each other, is that it?’

I stride over to her. I’ve had enough now.

I reach out and grab her arm, pushing her back against the wall, kissing her hard, and I’m acting on auto-pilot now. My cock’s just taken charge and all I want to do is fuck her. Right here, right now. That insane need, that burning ache is back. And I can’t control it. Because I’m not sure I want to. I’m not sure I ever wanted to.

I shove my hand up her dress and yank down her panties, ripping them from her as she claws at my shirt, drags my tie from around my neck and tosses it on the floor. Our breathing’s heavy and ragged and I don’t even know how the hell we got here. We need to talk, not fuck. We need to talk, but I’m inside her now, and she’s warm and wet and I’m thrusting hard and she’s taking me, willingly, and it’s fucking crazy! My head’s spinning, and I really don’t know what’s happening here.

‘Pull out,’ she whispers, her eyes boring into mine, and she’s got me, I’m freaking trapped. ‘Now. Pull out.’

I withdraw, and she turns around so she faces the wall, pulling her dress up around her waist, and I get it. OK. I get it.

I place a hand over hers, my palm resting against her knuckles as our fingers thread together, my other hand pulling her ass back against me and I’m inside her again. I wanted to make her listen, make her realise that all this shit is real, but she looks at me and I’m fucking gone. I’m gone.

I bury my face in her hair as I thrust into her gently, and her fingers grip mine tight, her moans long and low. I’m so close to her; my body’s right up against hers,
inside
hers, and I can feel those moans vibrate right through me, and my cock responds. I’m coming, and she’s pushing that perfect ass back against me and I want to fuck her bareback so freaking bad. I want to feel her, properly; come inside her without the intrusion of that latex barrier she insists upon. I want that, so freaking bad. Yeah, I fucked her ass without a condom, but that was different. I want to feel her pussy engulf my naked cock and I want to come, inside her.

‘We need to talk, Kira,’ I murmur into her hair as her own climax hits and she comes in a series of short, violent waves. ‘We need to talk, baby.’

I pull out of her and she turns around. The barriers are still up, and I don’t know what else to do.

‘I’m out of here, tomorrow, darlin’. Tomorrow.’

She looks into my eyes and I see nothing. She’s spent so long closing herself off to so many emotions that she can do it at will. The perfect escort. Detachment – their default.

‘Kira…’

Her fingers touch my cheek, trailing lightly over my skin, her eyes still boring deep into mine. ‘I’m sorry, Neal.’

I close my eyes as she kisses me, and I hold her so close because I’m terrified of what’s happening.

‘I’m not done, Kira. This isn’t over…’

She tilts her head slightly, and her expression is almost impassive as she looks right at me.

‘I’m not done, baby.’

‘Go back to the hotel, Neal.’

‘Kira…’

‘Just go back to the hotel. Please.’

She turns to leave and I panic, I swear, my stomach just dips and I freaking panic. ‘Kira!’

She stops and turns back around, and I go to her, pull her against me and kiss the fucking life out of her.

‘Please, Neal. Go back to the hotel.’

I reluctantly let her go, and she steps back from me. ‘This isn’t over, Kira.’

‘I didn’t say it was.’

‘We need to talk.’

‘I know.’

‘So let’s talk.’

‘Go back to the hotel.’

‘Kira…’

But she just walks away.

And I’m more fucking confused than ever.

Sixteen

Kira

‘You should have told me he was there.’

Joey leans back against the countertop and throws me a look, and I just want to slap him. He’s interfering in something he has no clue about, and I know that whatever he’s doing – whatever he’s done – he’s only doing it because he loves me. He cares about me. But Neal and I, it’s complicated.

‘If I’d told you he was there you wouldn’t have come over.’

‘I’d walked away, Joey. I was getting back to normal; I was getting on with my life… I’d accepted that Neal was nothing more than a beautiful fairytale and I was getting on with my life…’

‘And what
is
your life, exactly, Kira? Huh? What
is
normal for you? Meeting men in hotel rooms in the middle of the day; men who can’t get the kind of twisted shit you give them at home? Is that normal?’

‘Don’t you
dare
start making what I do sound sordid, Joey? Don’t. You’ve supported me for ten years, you’ve never questioned what I do, you’ve never done that…’

‘You deserve more, Kira. You can’t do this forever. What happened…’

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘You told Neal. You told him what Simon did to you. Do you have any idea how major that was? You told someone, other than me, what that bastard did to you. Do you know what that means?’

‘I shouldn’t have told him anything.’

‘It means you’re finally facing up to it, Kira. It’s taken ten long fucking years but you’re finally facing up to it. And if you can be strong enough to do that, then you’re strong enough to walk away from this life, angel.’

‘And what if I don’t want to, Joey? What if I
like
this life?’

‘You like getting up every day knowing that all that lies ahead is another line of horny men waiting for you to live out their fantasies? You close your eyes and you fuck those men and you feel nothing, Kira. You feel nothing. And then came Neal. And he made you feel
something
.’

I look down, because I don’t want to face him. I don’t want him to know that his words are getting through, that he’s right. For ten years I’ve felt nothing. For ten years I haven’t wanted to. Until Neal Cannon happened.

‘He’s a fantasy, Joey. That’s all he was.’

‘Fantasies
can
become reality, angel.’

I shake my head, and I know I’m frustrating him because I hear him let out a heavy sigh. ‘I’ve known him less than a week. And we need so much longer than that, to know if anything can become a reality.’

‘So, what are you saying? You’re just gonna give up? You’re not even gonna
try
and see if there’s even the slightest chance of something happening?’

‘No. I’m not saying that.’ I rake both hands through my hair and finally look up at him. ‘I’m going to see him. At the hotel.’

‘Now?’

‘Right now.’ I wasn’t lying when I’d said I’d accepted Neal had been nothing more than a beautiful fairytale. I really had started to try and get my life back to normal. But seeing him again… ‘He leaves tomorrow, and if I let him walk away I’ll… I don’t know… I need one more night with him, Joey. And I don’t know if it’s the worst thing I could do but… I need one more night.’

‘Just go and see him, Kira.’

I look at my best friend, and I’m scared, I really am. I’m scared of things changing, because they haven’t, for so long. ‘You said I was making a mistake, Joey. You said me getting close to Neal – you said that was a mistake.’

He shrugs, but there’s a faint smile on his face. ‘Maybe I was wrong, OK?’

I smile back. I love him, so much, I really do. And no matter what happens in a future I still can’t yet predict, I’m not losing what me and this man have. He’s my family, and I need him. ‘You admitting to being wrong?’

‘I said I
might
have been wrong, missy, don’t get ahead of yourself.’

He walks over to me and kisses me quickly, giving my waist a tiny squeeze as he passes. ‘Go give that gorgeous man your hot body, for free, one more time, but then, for Christ’s sake, angel, try talking, huh? You want to see if this can work? The sex has to stop. For a little while, at least.’

He winks, and I smile again as he heads out the door for another night at Bam-Bams.

I need to get ready.

I’ve got a night of my own to play out.

One final night.

And then I’ll know.

Neal

The New York office came good. The client I was supposed to see today has agreed to reschedule. He’s actually gonna be in
New York
next week so we’ve arranged to meet at my
Manhattan
base. It’s time to start getting my head together. Whatever happens between me and Kira, I have a life I need to keep living. It was a good life before, it can be good again. It’s just that, this time, the loneliness that I know deep down I’ve always felt but tried to deny, that’ll hit me so much harder now. But it’ll be something I get used to. Again.

I turn away from the window and look around the hotel suite that’s been my home for the past few days. The memories this place holds now are both painful and beautiful and maybe there are still memories to be made here yet, I don’t know. I don’t really know where I stand with Kira right now. But I have a feeling I’m gonna see her again.

One more night; she needs that just as much as I do, I know she does.

The knock at the door pulls me back from my thoughts and I put down my glass of whiskey and go to answer it. But I know it’ll be her. I can already feel that powerful pull as though she were already in the room.

‘Hey, handsome.’

I smile the widest smile when I see her standing there in a belted leather coat and knee-high spike-heeled boots, her dark-blonde hair tumbling down around her shoulders.

‘Hey, beautiful.’

I stand aside to let her through, closing the door and locking it behind me.

‘You were right, Neal. It isn’t over. Not yet.’

I dig my hands into my pockets and watch as she slowly unbelts her coat, letting it fall to the floor, and she’s naked – completely naked bar for those boots, and my cock is on instant alert.

She walks over to me, and I catch her waist, pulling her against me, kissing her long and slow and her legs are wrapped around my hips before I even have time to get my head around what’s happening here.

‘Kira Blu wants to play,’ she whispers, and I slam her back against the wall and give her exactly what she wants. Who the hell am
I
to argue? Yeah, we’re gonna talk, but I’m fucking her first. I’ve got one more guaranteed night with this woman, and I’m not wasting a second.

I feel her wet pussy soaking through my shirt as I fumble around, trying to get the condom over my impatient cock and I fear I might come before I have a chance to get anywhere near her, I’m so freaking turned-on. But as I finally sink into her, the relief is instant; full-on and painful.

But it’s too quick. I’m so relieved she’s here, so fired up that she turned up naked and hot that I can’t keep going for more than a couple of minutes before I’m coming so fast and she’s crying out loud and it’s the most beautiful sound.

I’m done, for now, but I keep hold of her, because I want her here, wrapped around me, close to me; I want to feel her breath on my skin and her heart beating against me. I want to hold her in my arms and kiss her to sleep and wake up and know that I don’t just have her for a few more precious hours.

She unwraps her legs from around me but I still hold on to her; I’m not letting her go, not until I have to.

‘One more night, Mr Cannon. We’ve got one more night.’

I shake my head, because I can’t think of it like that. I can’t. ‘No, Kira…’

‘One more night, Neal. Let’s not waste it; let’s live it.’

She smiles, and I feel my heart physically shatter, but at the same time I feel excitement bubbling up inside me because, whatever happens after tonight, right now I have Kira Blu until the sun comes up. And she’s gonna mess with my head and break my heart; tear me apart with every thrust of her beautiful hips, every kiss she gives me will kill me but I’d rather feel that pain than feel nothing at all. Because that’s what I feel when she’s not with me. Nothing.

‘One more night,’ she whispers, trailing her fingers down my chest as she turns me around and backs away. ‘You might want to get naked, handsome.’ She smiles again, her eyes locking with mine and I’m burning up, it’s like my skin’s on fire! And I smile, too, my heart beating faster and harder as she comes a little closer, her fingers sliding into my hair, her mouth almost touching mine. ‘I really,
really
need to pee.’ Her fingers pull gently at my hair, her rock-hard nipples pressing against me as her mouth rests on mine. ‘Want to watch?’

Jesus Christ!
Do I! I’m in freaking heaven here! ‘I thought you charged extra for that privilege, Ms Blu?’

She laughs quietly, and I feel my cock spring right back into action. ‘Guess you got lucky, handsome.’

I kiss her gently, and she takes my hand and leads me towards the bathroom and I’m mentally flicking through every other twisted fantasy I’ve ever had because tonight – tonight I might just get to live them out.

Kira

The black silk is cool against my skin as the scarf covers my eyes, and I bite down on my lip as he secures it tightly. I want to be submissive tonight. I want
him
to take charge, to take anything he wants from me and he has my permission; he can take it all, anything he wants. I’m still in control. I always have been. From the very first day I started doing what I do I’ve called the shots. The trick is letting
them
think otherwise.

 
He pushes me back against the wall and takes my hands in his, raising them up above my head and his fingers slide between mine as his lips brush lightly over my neck and shoulders.

‘Keep them there,’ he murmurs as he lets go of my hands, his fingers now trailing down my arms, his mouth brushing the base of my throat, and the most beautiful shiver engulfs me.

I feel his mouth reach my breasts, his thumbs flicking over my nipples before his tongue takes over and I can’t stop the long, low moans from escaping. They come from so deep within me it doesn’t even sound like I’m making the noise, but he’s drawing those moans out of me with every touch of his fingers, every kiss of his lips.

My stomach contracts in a wave of somersaults as his mouth rests against it, his hands holding on to my hips and I inhale sharply, because I know where he’s heading. I know what he’s going to do, I just can’t see it happening, and it’s the most incredible feeling; the anticipation alone is enough to make me come, I’m almost there.

I open my legs a little wider as he touches my thighs; I can feel his breath on my skin and it sends another shiver shooting right through me that physically rocks my body. And he waits, until that shiver passes, before he touches me again, and another moan escapes me, my fingers twisting together above my head as I wait for whatever it is he’s going to do next.

We talked fantasies. I let him watch me pee, I let him fuck me straight afterwards in the shower and he barely had time to get his cock inside me before he was coming in long, deep waves and he was telling me everything he wanted to do –
to
me,
with
me; over me. We’re working our way through a list, and I know that in the morning my body is going to pay for it all, but I don’t care. It’s not my body I’m worried about.

I gasp as his thumb passes over my clit, and I feel him pull me wide apart before his mouth touches me, his tongue gently probing and flicking and I can’t take any more. I push down on him, just a little, as his tongue enters me and I cry out, my hips jerking as I feel him touch me inside. I’m wet, I’m so fucking wet I can feel it spilling out of me, and that turns me on even more until I can’t hold back any longer. A fierce, white-hot blanket of beautiful prickles sweeps across every inch of my skin and I’m coming; wave after wave shakes me to my core and he’s taking it, holding tightly on to my hips as I grab my release and I cry out, and he’s taking it all. And just when I think it’s over; when my body finally starts to slow down and those pins and needles recede, he slips his tongue back inside me and another barrage of waves return to engulf me a second time, and I’m still wet, but he’s licking me dry and I close my eyes and I let it happen. I’m exhausted, but we’re not done. We’re so far from done.

He finally pulls away from me and I feel him stand up; feel his breath on my neck as he leans in to kiss me, and I taste myself on his perfect lips as his fingers run over my soaking and sensitive slit, and I’m lost. Even Kira Blu is having trouble coping with everything that’s happening in this room tonight.

He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him as he carries me over to the bed, laying me down and raising my arms back up above my head. I know what he’s going to do; we talked about this. And I feel another shiver wash over me as he takes my wrists and slips the handcuffs over them, locking them together, his low-down-dirty laugh making me moan out loud as my thighs burn up all over again.