Almost a Family (11 page)

“I’ll give you a hand, Mol,” he offered. “Sara, why don’t you and your mom go into the living room? You can show her the pictures you drew of Bubbles yesterday.”

In the kitchen, he took out mugs while Molly arranged cookies and brownies on a frilly plate. She took them from a plastic container on top of the counter and not a bakery box. The woman who’d arrived a few short weeks ago would not have baked homemade goodies. His lips curved into an easy smile. She’d changed more than she realized.

“You’re a good sister, Molly.”

She stood back, analyzing the plate, moving a few brownies around. “No, I’m not. But I’d like to change that. Kim deserves better. We only have each other and I took that for granted.”

Jason took her hand, tugging until she faced him. “I’m glad you realize that. She’s very special.”

A look flashed over Molly’s face, and for that brief second he thought he saw distrust. But just as quickly it was gone and he was left wondering if he’d been imagining things.

Especially when she replied, “I know. And Sara should know her aunt. I’ve been selfish. I had intended to go back to Calgary as soon as Kim was released, but now I find I want a few more days…to make sure she can handle things, you know?”

“You did what you thought you had to do.”

Her head snapped up, her gaze clashing abruptly with his. He met the look calmly. Perhaps this was what she needed to see things clearly, to finally get her priorities straight. Perhaps then….

What was it he really wanted? Molly looked away, putting away the container of cookies while a wrinkle formed between his eyebrows. Did he want her back, or did he simply want to let her go, tie up the loose ends between them and move on?

“Molly, I…”

“We’ll talk later, okay? Let’s just enjoy the afternoon. Kim’s safe and she’s home, and Sara is happy and secure again. That’s what’s really important. There’s time enough for us to talk later.”

She put the plate on a tray and he knew without a doubt what he wanted. He wanted what he’d lost six years ago.

Only now he had to figure out how he was going to make it happen.

Her hands shook as she poured a cup of milk for Sara, put everything on a tray and carried it into the living room. Sara had turned on the music channel and Kim exclaimed over the baking. Molly laughingly admitted she’d used a mix, but as they sat around the coffee table laughing and chatting, she knew she’d been missing out on something all this time.

Jason came in and took a seat, settling Sara on his lap and handing her the sippy cup of milk. Molly sat quietly, staring at the scene before her, imprinting it on her heart. To an outsider, seeing Sara on his knee, Kim’s smile as she picked a brownie from the plate, they
looked
like the perfect family.

Family. People who cared about her and about each other. Ones with childhood memories and stories. That deep connection. It was no wonder Jason had gravitated to Kim. He’d always wanted a family, ever since his brother had died when he was very young. Kim was the type of homebody he needed. Yet the thought of them… Molly had to acknowledge that she wasn’t willing to give him up, which was odd because he wasn’t hers for the giving.

She’d forgotten how familial closeness felt. Since she’d left Jason and Kim, she’d never felt it again. They’d been her family after her parents divorced, but after him there’d been no one. Now the feeling of it rushed back, full and bittersweet with the knowledge she’d given up this place once before and that she would leave it again soon. It surprised her to realize she didn’t want to. What if she were to consider the unthinkable? Was there still a place for her here? In Kim’s life? In Jason’s?

“Mol. Where did you go?” Kim’s voice intruded and Molly forced her face to relax, conjuring a pleasant smile.

“Not far. Sorry. I’m just glad you’re home.”

She ignored Jason’s gaze, the one that seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, and instead rose to refill the cookie plate.

*

How could she have forgotten?

Sara’s birthday was Wednesday. Tomorrow, Molly realized. Where had the time gone? She pinched the bridge of her nose. Kim would have had a party all arranged long before now, complete with presents and cake and probably a half dozen children running around. Kim was home, yes, but still on pain killers, still exhausted. And as nice as it was for Sara to have her mommy back, things were far from normal in that household.

Sara was turning four. Molly had missed enough birthdays that she was determined to make up for it. Kim and Sara were the only family she had left and so far she hadn’t even made an effort. That was going to change. Starting today.

When Kim had mentioned it this morning, asking Molly if she could run out and pick up at least a few presents, Molly had known that wouldn’t be enough. Besides, Kim had been off work for nearly three weeks. She was a single parent. Molly didn’t have to read too closely between the lines to know that money was tight for her baby sister. To make up for past neglect, Molly was determined to make this birthday one to remember.

“I’ll look after it, I promise,” Molly assured her. “You get up some strength for a little party, okay?”

Except Molly had no idea how to organize a child’s party.

She and Jason hadn’t talked about what was happening between them since that kiss in the snow, and Molly knew they had to clear the air. Asking him for help would be awkward, yet she couldn’t think of anyone else to help with the party. She’d already decided against having extra children. She knew her limits and also knew Kim didn’t need that much commotion. It would be a family event. No one knew Kim and Sara better than Jason, so that afternoon Molly swallowed her anxiety and misgivings and stopped at the clinic.

Jason turned a corner and saw her there, waiting patiently for him, looking fresh and beautiful in snug jeans and Kim’s puffy pink bomber jacket, a scarf twisted around her neck. When she turned from the window to face him, sunlight backlit her golden hair and her eyes, normally a placid blue, glowed pale and bright.

She was his angel. Always had been, always would be. Ten years ago now, he’d fallen for her, and nothing had changed. But he’d been burned badly enough by her before that there was no way he’d let her see that. Not yet. Not until she came to him. He wouldn’t put himself out there and bare his soul only to have it thrown back at him again. But if he could get her to make the first move…

“Molly. What’s up? Is something wrong? Kim and Sara all right?”

“Everyone’s fine. Have you got a sec?”

“I’ve got ten minutes before my next client.” He didn’t mention that there were a zillion things he could be doing in that ten minutes. He had precious few moments with Molly left, and for once, work could wait. If she was going to come to him, he had to give her reason to.

He led her back past the exam rooms to the tiny cubbyhole that housed a fridge and a single set of cupboards. “Want a drink?”

“No, thanks,” she said, pulling a stool up to the counter.

“Mind if I do? I don’t often get an opportunity for a break.”

“Go ahead.”

He grabbed a can of soda from the fridge and sat opposite her, popping the top. “So what’s up?”

“I have a problem.”

“Shoot.”

“Sara’s birthday is tomorrow.”

“I know. I’ve had her present for a month.”

Molly laughed. “Why am I not surprised? I, however, do not, and neither does Kim. I want to have a birthday party. Just the family, though. But I don’t know much about children her age. Everything I know is based on the last few weeks. I don’t even know where to start and her birthday is tomorrow.”

“You want me to help.” He grinned at her. Shopping for Sara was fun. Doing it with Molly was exactly what the doctor ordered. It was as good an excuse as any to spend time with her. Even better was that she’d done the suggesting. She couldn’t accuse him of coming up with ways to keep them together.

“Yes, I’m asking for your help. You know both of them better than I do. Though it pains me to admit it.”

He ignored the last bit; it would be nice to have a conversation without an argument or recriminations being bandied back and forth. “I’m done here at six. We can hit the mall.”

“Thank you. I think Kim’s finances are…well, tight, and I’d like to make up for that.”

“You can afford to?” He offered it as a question, raising an eyebrow, rather than a statement. Molly had done what she’d said she would. She’d become successful. It was high time she realized that she had a family and he was pleased she was taking the initiative. If she wanted to spend a little of that money on making Sara’s birthday special, he had no problem helping. It also would be a good chance for him to see if he was right about her…that she’d changed and cared more about her family than about her career and her gold card.

“My salary’s substantial, yes.” She blushed a bit. “And I’ve only had myself to support. Besides that, Sara’s had a rough time and she’s been so good through it all. It’s the least I can do.”

Jason reached over and clasped her hand. Molly probably didn’t even realize it, but he’d seen changes in her over the past few weeks. When she’d arrived, she’d had this veneer around her, protecting her from feeling too much. He’d seen it the moment he’d opened the door. Yet bit by bit she’d relaxed. The designer clothes had been replaced with pieces of Kim’s more comfortable wardrobe. She’d expected less of Sara and had enjoyed more. Her cold manner had dissipated completely when he’d held her in his arms. It would be very easy to fall in love with her again. And very hard not to show her how he was feeling. But first and foremost he had to protect his heart. If things changed, they had to be on his terms. It was the only way he could keep himself from being hurt.

“I’m glad you’ve realized how special they are,” he murmured, squeezing her fingers. “I’ll pick you up.

His client was waiting, so he merely rose, dropped a fleeting kiss on the crest of her cheek and disappeared into an exam room. Oh yes, Molly held more power than she could possibly know. He’d tried, but no one in the intervening years had ever measured up. Now that she was back, he wasn’t sure he could risk that kind of heartbreak again. He had to be sure of her first.

*

They hit the toy store first. One stop shopping, Jason had said, and as Molly pushed the cart and Jason filled it up, her eyes grew larger and larger with the amount of loot that piled up.

“Do you have a theme?”

“A theme?”

He laughed as they halted before the party supplies. “You know, what kind of plates, napkins, balloons, that sort of thing.”

Molly looked over the selection, which covered an entire wall. “How about princesses or something?”

“That sounds about right.” He leaned over to pick out plates, napkins and cups in pink and pale blue, and his scrubs stretched taut. Molly’s mouth watered. All the reasons she’d left so long ago faded into the distant past. Instead she was reminded of how he’d kissed her in the snow, how he’d held her hand this afternoon. She’d thought perhaps parting as friends would be easier, leaving the bitterness behind. But it wasn’t going to be easier at all. Molly knew leaving Jason, after all that had transpired, was going to hurt all over again. And this time she wouldn’t have righteous indignation to pull her through. If she came back again, they’d have to find a way to make peace with the past so they could move forward. Talk about a gigantic task. She laughed inwardly at herself. She never had been one to take the easy road.

He put the items in the cart and looked up at her when she didn’t follow along. “Are you coming?”

She nodded. “Sorry. Preoccupied.”

“What did Kim want to get her?”

They started down another aisle, one completely pink. Didn’t girl’s things come in any other color?

“She said something about a play kitchen. But I don’t know what kind.”

She really was horrible. She didn’t even know how to shop for a little girl, for goodness sake! She had to refer to a single man for shopping advice!

“Here they are.” Jason halted in front of a display. “Which one do you like best?”

She stared at the selection. “I don’t know. I’m hopeless at this sort of thing.”

Jason leaned over. “You were four once. What would you have wanted?”

Molly stared at the different designs, her heart heavy. “You know better than to ask that, Jason,” she murmured. She could feel him looking at her and refused to meet his gaze.

“I’m sorry, Molly,” he said softly from behind her. “I never thought.”

What he’d done with that one simple question was stir up old memories she had no desire to recall. She looked at the toys. Plastic or wood. Pink and white or tan and green. Ironing boards or dishwashers. So many choices in miniature and she knew that not once in her life had she had toys such as these. She understood Kim wanting to have things for Sara that they’d never had. Their own parents had divorced when they were young and their mother had all but abandoned them when they finished high school, remarrying and moving away.

There’d been many things they’d wanted for as children—not only the presents but the thought and love that went behind the gifts. Feeling treasured. That was what had drawn her to Jason in the first place. He’d understood that need, as he’d felt it himself. The warm family he’d known had faded away after his brother Jonathan’s death. Molly and Jason had become fiercely independent, thinking they didn’t need those things. Kim had been younger and had handled things differently. For the first time, Molly faced the fact that she’d done the same thing as her mother—run away. She’d handled the neglect in one way, Kim the polar opposite. She’d put a wall around her heart; Kim had become the giving nurturer. It was obvious which one Jason truly needed. It was understandable.