Almost Perfect (22 page)

‘Yeah, I know I have. I just wish I could be with you.'

‘Oh, no you don't, we're a bit of a morbid lot. But Christmas is a wonderful time and it should be a wonderful time. You go and enjoy yourself and don't think about me.'

‘That's not going to happen, Georgie, I'll be thinking about you the whole time.'

She smiled at him. ‘When are you leaving?'

‘Oh, um . . .' He rubbed his forehead, thinking. ‘I have to be at the airport around six Monday evening.'

She nodded. ‘So I'll see you in a week or so, I guess?'

He looked at her then, his expression tender but a little tortured at the same time. ‘Georgie, I know I haven't been much of a . . .' he hesitated.

‘What?' she frowned.

He seemed embarrassed. ‘Boyfriend's a really stupid name for someone my age.'

‘Isn't it though?'

‘Anyway, I'm going to make it up to you.'

‘You don't have anything to make up to me, Liam, you're perfect.'

He shook his head. ‘No, I'm not, I'm not even close,' he said seriously. ‘And you deserve better, you deserve a lot more than I've been giving.' She went to interrupt but he kept on. ‘I want to make you as happy as you've made me.'

Georgie smiled. ‘Well, see, you just did.' She leaned over and kissed him. ‘I think I'll be the judge of what makes me happy, Liam, and I'm very happy at the moment.' She stroked a rogue lock of hair back off his forehead. ‘I waited a long time to fall in love, you know, and now I know why.'

‘Why?'

‘Because I hadn't met you yet, and it was always going to be you.'

Liam leaned closer and kissed her softly. ‘I love you, Georgie.'

‘I love you too.'

Anna glanced across at Mac in the driver's seat. His whole demeanour was aggressive as he weaved his way through the traffic moving towards the Harbour Bridge.

‘Are you intending to stay angry the entire time?'

He sighed. ‘I'm not angry,' he said levelly. ‘I wish you'd reminded me, that's all.'

‘I did remind you, Mac,' Anna returned. ‘What exactly is the problem anyway?'

He pulled up behind cars queuing at the toll booth. ‘It's just hassle I don't need at the moment.'

Anna sighed loudly. ‘Hassle? These people are our friends, Mac. We haven't even seen Rob and Stacey since they had the baby, and he's four months old now. We're Bethany's godparents, for heaven's sake. Of course we'd be invited to her little brother's christening, and of course we'd be expected to go!'

Mac tossed a few coins into the basket. The light went green and he took off, flattening his foot to the pedal.

‘Not only that, Mac,' Anna continued. She'd started now, she may as well say what was on her mind. ‘In the past we would have wanted to go. You would have wanted to go. But I don't understand what's happening to you lately. You wanted a break from IVF, but all you've done is throw yourself into your work. You're never home, we barely even function as a couple any more.'

He turned to look at her. Anna thought he was about to say something but he appeared to change his mind. He focussed again on the road ahead and Anna could feel the car picking up speed. They flew across the Bridge, following the Cahill Expressway towards the Eastern Distributor. He was forced to slow down as they approached a bank of traffic where the lanes merged and parted again to their various destinations.

Anna was waiting for some kind of acknowledgment that he had heard her, that he understood. ‘I'm just saying, Mac, you might only need work in your life,' she said, ‘but I need more than that, okay?'

He flicked on the indicator. ‘We're going today, aren't we?' he said flatly, turning to look behind him before changing lanes. They drove the rest of the way in silence.

The service had begun by the time they arrived at the church and found somewhere to park. Anna glanced at Mac intermittently throughout the proceedings, but his face was stony, he was not showing any emotion at all.

Rob and Stacey were old friends from Melbourne who had moved up to Sydney a year or two before Mac and Anna. Rob had been to uni with Mac, he'd been at the party the night Anna and Mac met. They had double-dated a few times when Rob started seeing Stacey, but they were not particularly close. The move to Sydney changed all that. Rob and Stacey welcomed some familiar faces from
home, and as Stacey was already pregnant with Laura, Anna found herself drawn to her. They'd just started treatment and Anna had become fascinated by babies, not surprisingly. She was sure it would be her turn next. But time passed and instead it was Rob and Stacey who were expecting again. When Bethany was born they asked Mac and Anna to be godparents. Anna was thrilled, but it was bittersweet, and consequently, at dinner with them that night, she drank too much and blurted out their whole IVF story. They hadn't told anyone else before that. At first it was a relief to have it out in the open, but then Anna began to find it harder to spend time with them. Stacey's life revolved around babies, real, live, breathing, beautiful babies, while Anna's revolved around drugs and cycles and constant disappointments and the increasingly fragile dream of a baby. Stacey never knew what to say to her, and Anna felt it. Staying away was easier for everyone.

It was a short drive to Rob and Stacey's house in Randwick after the service. Their terrace was cosy at the best of times, but today it was packed with both sides of the family up from Melbourne to wet the head of the first male born this generation. Fortunately it was a fine day and the overflow spilled out into the backyard. Mac grabbed a beer from a bin full of bottles and ice and made his way over to Rob. He hadn't had a chance to say hello yet.

‘Hey Mac!' Rob greeted him, shaking hands. ‘You made it. I didn't see you at the church.'

‘We were up the back.'

‘You remember my brother Wayne?'

‘Sure,' said Mac, offering his hand.

Wayne was juggling a beer and a pink-wrapped bundle which just at that moment spurted a stream of curdled white liquid right across his shoulder. He grimaced. ‘I'll be back in a minute,' he said apologetically, retreating from the group.

‘Let's try again,' Rob grinned. ‘This is Jeff, our next-door neighbour. Jeff, Mac and I went to uni together.'

The men shook hands. ‘How're you going?' Jeff nodded as a missile charged into his legs from apparently nowhere, knocking him so that he spilled his beer. ‘Toby! Watch out, mate!'

The missile was actually a small boy with a curly blond mop of hair who clung to his father's legs, his face buried, crying, ‘Don't want to . . .
something
'; they couldn't quite catch the rest.

‘Bethany!' Rob called sternly, spotting his daughter through the crowd. ‘Excuse me a minute.' He made a beeline for her just as she started to dodge between the legs of the surrounding guests.

‘Bethany and Toby have . . . issues,' Jeff said to Mac by way of explanation. He'd picked up Toby and now the little boy had his arms wrapped tightly around his father's neck, his face still hidden. ‘Toby's a little on the sensitive side, and Bethany . . . well, let's just say Bethany knows how to push his buttons.'

‘He's being polite – Bethany terrorises Toby,' said Rob, rejoining them, the recalcitrant Bethany tucked securely under one arm. ‘Hey, Bethany, have you said hello to your godfather?'

She looked up at Mac balefully.

‘God, she's grown,' Mac remarked. ‘She's a little girl now.'

‘Little monster,' Rob muttered. ‘Now, you say sorry to Toby right now, miss, or I'll be putting you in your room until you do.' He popped her down onto her feet, though he kept a firm hold of her by the shoulders.

Jeff crouched down with Toby still clinging to him as though his life depended on it. ‘Come on, Tobes, Bethany's going to say sorry, and she won't do whatever it was again.'

‘Wishful thinking,' Rob added under his breath. He prodded his daughter from behind. ‘What have you got to say, miss?'

‘Sorry Toby.'

‘And?'

‘I won't make you eat the giant's boogies no more.'

‘Bethany! They are not giant's boogies. What are they?'

She pouted. ‘Oysters.'

‘And what have you got for Toby?'

She held out a red jelly frog.

‘Toby, look,' Jeff urged. ‘You can't have it if you don't see what it is.'

The little boy peered out from the crook of his father's neck, then his head jerked upright and he reached out and snatched the frog.

‘Ah! What do you say?' said Jeff.

‘Funkyou Befnee.'

For some reason passing the understanding of the adults watching on, they both started giggling before they turned and ran off together.

‘Don't let your mother see you with that red
frog,' Jeff called after them, standing up. ‘Then there'll really be trouble,' he said to the others, before taking a long swig of his beer. He glanced at Mac. ‘Any kids?'

Mac shook his head.

‘Wise man.'

‘Don't listen to him,' said Rob. ‘He's still in shock since he had the twins.'

‘Toby's a twin?' Mac asked.

Jeff nodded. ‘Callum's his other half. Should be running around here somewhere,' he said, surveying the crowd.

‘He's got three more as well,' Rob told Mac.

‘You've got five kids?'

Jeff looked sheepish. ‘Yeah, but the others are from my first marriage. My eldest son's at uni and my youngest are about to start pre-school,' he said, shaking his head. ‘I didn't plan that too well.'

Mac nodded thoughtfully. All of a sudden he felt intensely curious. What had happened in the other marriage? Where was his first wife? Was she okay? Jeff seemed sane and normal, if a little harried. He'd obviously survived a divorce. Was he happy now? Was he glad he'd done it?

But Mac wouldn't be asking him any of those questions. Blokes didn't do that. If they were women they'd be swapping intimate gynaecological details by now. That's why women outlived men, Mac was sure of it.

‘So, Mac,' said Rob. ‘I hear Morgan Trask's pulling out the big guns to get Borambil on board?'

Ah, shop talk. Safer ground.

‘Did you meet their next-door neighbours?' Anna asked Mac on the way home. She was driving, Mac had had a bit too much to drink, which was not like him at all. She glanced across at him when he hadn't answered. He was slumped back in his seat, dozing.

‘Mac? Don't go to sleep, we'll be home soon.'

‘Hmm?' He cleared his throat and sat up straight, blinking.

‘I was asking if you met Rob and Stacey's next-door neighbours?' Anna repeated. ‘Jeff and Jodi, with the twins.'

Mac nodded. ‘Met him, not her.'

‘They seem nice.'

‘Yeah, he was a nice bloke.'

‘She was one of those people who make you feel comfortable straight away, you know what I mean?' Anna asked rhetorically. ‘I don't know what it is, perhaps some people are so at ease within themselves they just make you feel good when you're around them.'

He didn't respond.

‘Are you listening, Mac?'

‘Yeah, sure, I was just thinking. I know exactly what you mean.'

‘Oh, right, well, she was fantastic with the twins. She made it look easy,' Anna went on. She had been fascinated with twins ever since they had started IVF, with the higher likelihood of having a multiple pregnancy herself.

Mac grunted. ‘Jeff didn't make out it was so easy. He seemed overwhelmed.'

‘Yeah, but he's got three others from his first
marriage,' said Anna. ‘And the twins weren't planned. They hadn't been together long when she fell pregnant.'

Mac knew it, he bet Anna had the entire story.

‘Why did the first marriage break up?' he asked.

‘Well, he and Jodi were having an affair, but the way Jodi put it, his marriage was already on the rocks.' Anna frowned. ‘Then again, they may just tell themselves that to absolve their guilt.'

Mac folded his arms across his chest. ‘I don't know, why would someone have an affair if their marriage was fine and they were happy?'

Anna sighed loudly. ‘Lots of reasons. Men get bored, go through their midlife crises and decide they want someone younger to make them feel younger.'

‘I didn't meet her – was Jodi a lot younger than Jeff?'

‘No, actually she looked about the same age.'

Mac shook his head. ‘A little quick to condemn then, aren't you? Did she have anything to say about the first wife?'

Anna pulled up at traffic lights and turned to look at Mac. ‘Why are you so interested?'

‘No reason, just making conversation.'

‘It's hardly your kind of conversation.'

‘You brought it up.'

She shrugged. ‘Well, whatever went on between them, apparently they all get on like a house on fire now.'

‘Who?'

‘Jeff and Jodi, his ex-wife and her partner,' she explained. ‘They celebrate the kids' birthdays
together, that kind of thing. It sounded very chummy, if a little weird.'

‘Why is it weird? Would it be better to be warring parties forever?'

‘No, I just don't know if I could socialise with . . . ugh,' she groaned, shaking her head. ‘Why are we even having this conversation? Do you remember if we're out of milk? We should stop and pick up some before we get home.'

Mac pulled over in a side street in Mascot. He'd dropped Anna off at the domestic terminal so she could find her parents and collect their luggage. When they were ready, Anna would signal him by ringing once on the mobile and then he'd pick them up directly in front of the terminal. They had perfected the system over the years, it was more efficient, not to mention the fact it avoided the extortion of the parking station.

He didn't know how he was going to get through this week. Having Bernard and Caroline around would mean keeping up appearances, pretending everything was all right, when everything was far from all right. Mac was not sure he could keep the cracks from showing, and Bernard and Caroline were not stupid.

He hadn't told Anna yet, but he definitely wouldn't be going to Noosa. And not only that, he intended to suggest she go without him. He suspected she wouldn't take it all that well. He thought he'd try her trick and bring it up in front of Bernard and Caroline so she couldn't argue. Of course, it could backfire on him just as it had on Anna, but he had a feeling this would be different.

The mobile phone rang once and stopped, so Mac headed back to the domestic terminal. Anna and her parents were waiting in the passenger pickup bay and in less than two minutes their luggage was loaded into the boot, everyone was in the car and they were on their way again. Bernard sat up front with Mac and they engaged in typical small talk about the flight, the traffic, the Boxing Day cricket test. Mac was feeling the strain already.

‘So, what have you two decided about Noosa?' Caroline asked when they had joined the expressway that would take them north to the Bridge.

‘I won't be able to get away from work, Caroline,' Mac said plainly. He could feel Anna glaring at him from the back seat. ‘But I think Anna should still go with you. She needs a holiday.'

‘Mac–'

‘That's a wonderful idea,' said Caroline.

‘It's a shame, Mac, I'll miss my golfing partner,' said Bernard. He looked over his shoulder at Anna. ‘Perhaps I can talk my only daughter into playing a round with her dad.'

Anna smiled weakly. ‘I don't know, Dad, I don't think I should go really.'

‘Why not?' said Caroline.

‘Well, if Mac can't get away–'

‘Caroline, talk her into it,' said Mac. ‘She could really use the break. We both could actually, but just because I can't go doesn't mean she should miss out.'

‘He's right, Anna,' Caroline insisted. ‘We'll have a lovely time. You can have a proper rest.'

‘And I'll teach you to play golf – what more could you want?' Bernard joked.

‘That was underhanded, Mac,' said Anna later that night when they were getting ready for bed. ‘If I back out now, Mum and Dad will be offended.'

‘Why would you want to back out?' said Mac, sitting on the end of the bed to take off his shoes. ‘Why don't you go and enjoy yourself? You're not missing out on anything around here.'

‘No, I'm not, am I,' she said flatly.

Mac looked up at her. She was standing there, her arms folded, glaring at him.

‘When you suggested a break from the IVF, it was more than that, wasn't it?'

He didn't say anything.

‘You wanted a break from me.'

Mac sighed. He dropped his head in his hands, staring down at the carpet.

‘That's what you wanted, isn't it?' she persisted.

He sighed loudly. ‘No, that's not what I wanted,' he said, slowly raising his head to look at her. ‘Quite the opposite. I wanted to reconnect with you, I told you that. I thought our problems were because of
IVF.' He paused. ‘Now I'm not so sure . . . or maybe we just left it too late.'

Anna felt as though she'd been punched in the stomach. ‘What are you saying?' she said, swallowing hard.

He thought for a moment. ‘Maybe we should have some time apart.' He heard the words. He must have said them out loud. There was no taking them back now.

Anna started pacing around the room. ‘A couple of weeks isn't going to do it,' she retorted. ‘It's not nearly enough, is it, Mac?'

‘I just thought–'

‘I tell you what,' she said, speaking over the top of him, ‘you could always pack your bags and leave before I get home. Then you can have all the break you need.'

‘Anna . . .'

‘What, Mac, what do you want to say?'

He met her gaze, but there was nothing else to say.

Anna covered her face with her hands as tears sprung out of nowhere. She felt . . . embarrassed. Out of everything she could have felt at that moment, embarrassment was possibly the most pointless emotion. But that's what she was feeling, embarrassed that she was crying, embarrassed that she was showing her cards while Mac was being so cool. Embarrassed that he might feel pity for her. She turned her back on him, but after a moment she felt his hands on her shoulders, turning her around again. He placed his arms around her, but he wasn't
really holding her. She could sense his detachment even now.

‘What are we going to do?' her voice muffled against his chest. ‘Mum and Dad are here, it's Christmas . . .'

‘We're going to have Christmas together,' he said calmly. ‘And we're going to make it nice for your parents. And then you'll go away for a couple of weeks, okay? Let's just take it a step at a time.'