Almost to Die For (19 page)

The car moved in stops and starts through downtown. There weren’t a lot of cars on the street, but the lights were badly timed. We’d get started just in time to slow for the next intersection. He didn’t say anything for a long time. The windshield wipers beat out a slow tempo.

“Ever since the Initiation, my dad has been pushing me to ramp up my training,” he said. “I think the number of vampires surprised everyone. People had largely assumed that there just weren’t that many in the ‘New World.’ ”

I didn’t say anything, though my mind drifted back to the pile of unearthly, inert white bodies in the underground cavern.

Our eyes met briefly, but he looked away quickly. The wipers thumped in time to my heartbeat. “I liked the idea of being a hunter a lot better when I didn’t think I’d ever have to actually kill a vampire.”

I released the breath I was holding.

“It’s hard,” he continued, talking almost as if to himself. “You have no idea the amount of hatred I grew up with, and I didn’t even realize it. It’s hard to shake all the bigotry and the sense of the enemy. But then, here you are.”

He looked at me then, and something made my heart thump against my chest.

“I’ve had a crush on you for so long,” he said. “And the first time I finally connect with you, it turns out you’re a dhampyr. And it kind of blew my mind, you know? I had to rethink so much.”

“Are you going to quit?”

He let out a bitter laugh. “It’s not that easy. The hunter mantle is passed down through the generations. I’m an only child. I can’t just cast it aside.”

“And I’m the princess of the vampires,” I said. “I guess we’re the lucky ones.”

 

 

NIKOLAI’S APARTMENT TURNED OUT TO be the top floor of a house in the shadow of the Witch’s Hat, a city water tower in the shape of a medieval turret with a conical roof. The affluent, quirky neighborhood was just on the “wrong”—as in Minneapolis—side of the border between the two cities. I admired the caretaker’s wild gardening style as Nikolai unlocked the door.

I was surprised to discover we were alone. At my questioning eyebrow, he said, “My roommates have late-afternoon classes.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised at how small my voice sounded. I’d been alone with guys before, but never one quite so much older. I wondered what he expected. Would he make a move on me? Did I want him to?

The door opened to a secondary interior door and a set of ratty carpet-covered stairs. Nikolai headed up the stairs. They turned at a landing, where someone had hung a life-sized poster of that guy from
Heroes
as Spock. “I liked that movie,” I said, trying to make conversation.

“Huh? ” Nik gave the poster a glance, and then said, “Oh, that’s Stevie’s. She’s our resident nerd.”

She?

Nik used his keys to open the top door. With a flourish, he flung it open. “Welcome to chez Nikolai.”

I was impressed.

I’d sort of been expecting the typical bachelor pad, but Nikolai and his roomies had better taste . . . at least upon first impression. The first room was a large window-filled living area. If it had been that sort of day, the place would have been flooded with light. The wraparound couches matched the easy chairs, and they all looked relatively new and stain free. A glass-topped coffee table held an arrangement of dried flowers, but scattered on the top were piles of the latest manga titles and Marvel comics.

Through an archway was a room typically designated as a dining room, but Nik and his friends had clearly declared it the entertainment center. Game consoles, TVs, stereos, and such crammed the walls. What wasn’t electronics was bookshelves overflowing with DVDs, CDs, paperback books, more graphic novels and comics, and even someone’s vinyl collection. Two doors were visible. One led to a kitchen that seemed piled with pizza boxes and take-out containers, and the other led to a murky hallway and, likely, bedrooms and a bathroom.

“So what do you think?”

“I can’t wait to live on my own,” I said. “I would love a place like this.”

“Let me show you the rest,” he said.

I was a little nervous, but he took me by the hand with an excited smile. The darkened hallway did lead to a bathroom, which I glanced at and thought: a lot of boys live here. But after waving in the direction of John and Stevie’s room, which I only glimpsed through a beaded curtain, Nik pointed to another set of stairs. “Mike and I get the attic. Wait till you see it. It’s awesome.”

The attic stairs were narrow and steep, but Nik flicked on a light halfway up that illuminated a wide-open space. The wood plank floors had been finished and polished to a warm glow. The ceiling was high enough for me to stand upright, and full of the exposed beams of a pitched roof. Two skylights had been built into the ceiling. Fresh air poured in from where they were cranked open. Each boy had staked out a dormer with a futon and an arrangement of antique dressers.

It was kind of cool.

And very, very intimate.

I could tell right away which space must be Nikolai’s. He had a shiny black and chrome electric guitar propped up by his futon frame. Schoolbooks lay piled on the floor along with papers and a laptop.

Casually, he sat on his bed, and patted a spot for me to sit. I wanted to say I’d prefer to hang out in the living room, but that wasn’t entirely true. Gingerly, I took the seat he offered. Our knees touched.

Nik looked especially good today. His longish hair had begun to curl at the ends in the rain, and the T-shirt he wore did little to hide a trim, athletic body. He looked hard, slender, and a little dangerous, like a knife.

A lot about Nikolai reminded me of a weapon, actually. There was something about him, a tautness, that seemed on the verge of going off at any time. It was scary and kind of exciting.

I found myself nervously playing with the hem of my sleeve, wishing I’d worn something a bit less dorky than my ratty old
Sailor Moon
T-shirt and a dowdy raincoat. “So, I listened to your album last night,” I admitted. “You’re a really good singer.”

“Thanks,” he said offhandedly. His mind seemed to be on something else, because his eyes kept drifting away and lighting on various things in the room.

I felt sort of desperate to get his attention, his approval, so I started babbling. “It’s not my usual sort of music, mind you, but I thought it was technically, you know, very good. You sound like a very tight band. I really thought that—”

Before I could make a bigger fool out of myself, his mouth stopped mine with a kiss.

E
ven I know that when you’re being kissed by an extremely fine-looking guy, it’s not the time to overthink. But my mind, which should have been concentrating on the softness of his lips, jittered. What had brought this on? My oh-so-sexy recounting of his band’s attributes? I didn’t think so. I’d been my usual dorky, lame self. Had he been thinking about kissing me from the moment he invited me over? Possible—he was a guy after all. Look at how he had maneuvered me out of my rain jacket already, and how his hands slid slowly up the contours of my exposed arms.

Okay, brain gone all melty. No longer thinking.

Instinct took over. My body responded all on its own with no input from me. Despite a nagging sense that this was too fast, I quivered under the heat of his touch. My breath hitched. His hands moved from my arms, and I wanted to whimper and beg him to come back. But the moment they slipped down my sides and under my shirt, my brain snapped back on. Hard.

I pulled away.

“Um,” I said, not sure what to say to explain my reaction that wouldn’t completely break the moment.

Nikolai had the sense to look chagrined. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about kissing you for so long.”

“Really?” I hadn’t meant to ask out loud, but it just slipped out. I mean, I’d always thought that he was way more into Bea than me.

He laughed softly.Sitting back until his shoulders rested against the wall, he seemed to be trying to get a good look at me. “Yeah,
really
. I told you I had a crush. Why are you so surprised?”

I rubbed my bare arms, feeling the sudden chill in the absence of our body heat. “I figured you were out of my league.” I shrugged. “Anyway, the spooky eye can be kind of a handicap.”

Shaking his head, he said, “Are you kidding? That’s what makes you so damn hot.”

Hot? Me?

The way he looked at me, I knew he was quite serious.

Then he very slowly, cautiously leaned in to give me another peck on the lips.

I let him.

When he lingered there, hopeful, I nudged his mouth open with mine. A little more timidly, he kissed me again. This time I initiated the exploration, and I discovered he tasted good. Not like blood, but still warm and alive.

Hm?

Still, as strange as it was, my heartbeat quickened at that thought. My kiss became more desperate. I wanted to devour him.

A painful stab and a strange clicking sensation warned me to pull away just as my fangs descended.

“Oops,” I said, putting my hand in front of my mouth to shield him from my transformation. I mumbled, “My turn to get carried away. Sorry.”

He glanced at me from under his lashes and flashed what could only be a come-hither smile. “No need to stop.”

Yeah, but now I wanted to
bite
him. How awkward was that?

“Um, I need to . . . uh, go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” And with that, I bolted to the stairs and stumbled down them before he could even utter a word of protest.

Finding the bathroom, I shut the door. I didn’t even bother with the light. Nervously, I checked myself in the mirror. Yep. There they were. My canine teeth had elongated and, somehow, sharpened to deadly looking points. At least my eyes hadn’t gone all cat-reflect-y.

This was certainly a disturbing development. I couldn’t even kiss a boy without wanting to bite him. To say the least, this was going to be hell on my love life. Closing the toilet seat, I sat down dejectedly with my head in my hands. The second my palms hit my cheeks, my damn fangs bit my tongue. “Ow. Goddamn it!”

There was a soft knock at the door. “Are you okay in there?”

“No, this sucks! I bit my own stupid tongue.” Okay, I could have edited that to make more sense, but I was startled by his sudden presence and incredibly frustrated by this situation. Did I ask to be a vampire? No. In fact, I hadn’t even considered it an option until yesterday. Now everything was fangs, blood, and weird caves. I just wanted to make out a little more with a cool, cute boy.

“Can I help?” Nikolai asked from the other side of the door. Great. Just great. I wiped the well of tears from the corner of my eye. “I mean . . . you can tell me if you think I’m a lousy kisser or whatever.”

I whipped open the door, nearly pulling it from the hinges. “No! I like you! I . . .” I faltered because he’d been trying to peer through the keyhole and he stood up suddenly, guiltily.

His eyes were wide and he pointed at my mouth. “Your, um, fangs are showing.”

“Oh.” My hand flew to cover my mouth. “Oh, crap.”

I slammed the door shut. It banged loudly. Awkwardly. My first date with Nikolai was not going at all the way I’d hoped. I could just cry.

“Can we just go bowling? I thought you wanted to bowl,” I shouted.

There was a stunned silence from the other side of the door, followed by a chuckle. “Actually, yeah, that sounds like an awesome idea.”

 

 

ONCE MY FANGS HAD TUCKED themselves away and Nikolai made a few calls to friends, I cautiously let myself out of the bathroom. I was expecting him to act as embarrassed as I felt, but he seemed to have gained a sense of purpose. He offered me my coat at the door and gave me a peck on the cheek. “Let’s start over, okay?”

I nodded, grateful for both the suggestion and the kiss. My shoulders dropped the tension I didn’t even know I’d been holding. I think I’d been worried he’d want to forgo all the romance and we’d end up just strained friends. I gave him a quick hug. “Thanks,” I said. “For understanding.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t confused.” He smiled down at me, our faces close enough for another kiss. I should have let go, but I didn’t want to. “You’re very hot and cold, but I can be patient.”

“And the fangs?”

I let him out of the hug because I wasn’t sure I was going to like this answer as much, but he grasped my hands before I could step away.

“They’re weird,” he admitted. “A little cute, and very, very naughty.”

That confused me. “Naughty?”

“I’m an apprentice fang buster,” he said. “Vamps are supposed to be off-limits.”

“What about half ones?”

“I guess I’m making an exception.”

His eyes were intense and I felt heat rising between us. I hopped up on my tiptoes to peck him on the nose. “Good.” I smiled. “Now let’s bowl.”