Almost to Die For (21 page)

“I am so damn sick of blood,” I said, cutting him off. “Why? Why do you have to have this stupid duty to the family you were born into? Why can’t you just be your own self and follow your own heart?”

“What does your heart tell you, Ana? Are you a vampire or a witch? ”

I didn’t have a good answer for that, and anyway, Stevie and John came back to the table, after having retrieved a plate of nachos with cheese and all the trimmings. With the presence of food, our conversation stopped.

The rest of the meal I spent stealing glances out the window, hoping to catch sight of Elias. Meanwhile, Nikolai lied smoothly to his friends about the whole dustup, claiming Elias was some old boyfriend of mine he was jealous of. I didn’t object. In fact, I didn’t say much of anything.

I was still mulling over my answer to Nikolai’s question. It seemed obvious that I couldn’t delay the decision much longer. What was I? Was I one of Elias’s people or Nik’s?

I wasn’t entirely sure I liked either choice.

And did I have to choose between Nik and Elias? If I had to, which would I pick?

The physical attraction between Nikolai and me was hard to deny. I liked kissing him—no doubt. But this hunter part of him I wasn’t so sure about. He talked about making a kill. He threatened Elias.

What kept coming back to me? Elias’s response. It wasn’t, “Oh yeah, well, I’ll kill you first.” No, Elias made it clear that if Nikolai hurt
me
, he’d have trouble on his hands.

It made me really consider everything I’d learned about vampires so far. There was a lot of talk from Nikolai about how horrible they were; they drank blood—Elias even admitted that they did—but . . . ruthless killers? I was having trouble buying that. I tried to think about all the “missing persons” reports I’d read in the newspapers or heard of through the grapevine at school and in the coven. I tried to remember the last unsolved murder I’d heard of. Frankly, there weren’t a lot. If vampires were systematically feeding on us, you’d think the coven, at least, would be talking about it.

You’d think there’d be a whole bunch of “stay safe” rules regarding getting drained dry by the local band of vampires.

Of which there were quite a few.

I’d seen their lair.

That was a lot of vampire to “feed.” They’d make quite a dent in the population of St. Paul if they were noshing on us on a regular basis. Maybe they went over to Minneapolis to hunt, but you’d still think this area would be the murder capital of the world if all those vampires were killing to eat.

Elias had said the hunt was nothing to fear. Nikolai even agreed that vampires had a lot of rituals around their blood drinking.

So they couldn’t be mass murderers. There was just no way it was practical.

Nikolai, on the other hand, clearly said he had to make a “kill” before he could become a full vampire hunter.

I looked over at Nik, who was talking animatedly to Stevie about some science fiction television show on cable I never watched. It was hard to imagine that those hands, which had so gently caressed my skin, were capable of violence.

Yet, he’d threatened to kill Elias.

What was I doing with this guy? And what should I do now? I wanted to get out of here, but I didn’t know where to go.

I excused myself from the table, claiming a need to visit the toilet. I made my way to the bathroom and found a quiet spot nearby with halfway decent cell reception. I looked at the bars. I could call home. Mom and I had an agreement. She trusted me to go out with friends as long as I promised to call for a ride if I felt unsafe for any reason.

But if I called her and bailed, I’d never be able to date Nikolai again. I mean, maybe I was exaggerating this whole killer thing, and then how stupid would I look if I ran out on our first date by calling my mom? How would I explain that? Plus, what about Mom? Was she still ready to put the hex on me to keep me under lock and key? I’d been ready to be homeless tonight. Which was the fire and which was the frying pan?

I considered other options. There was the city bus. Taylor’s dad drove a taxi. Bea had a car.

No, strike that last one. I couldn’t call Bea. I was persona non grata with her, and I’d sent her that kind of snotty text. I hadn’t checked her response, but I could guess what it was.

It was Taylor’s dad, the city bus, or my mom. I was ready to eenie-meanie-mynie-mo it when Nikolai came up to stand beside me. I’d been leaning against the wall between the bowling alley and the door to the ladies’.

“Busy? ” He jerked his chin in the direction of the bathroom.

I gave him a long, serious look. “No. I was thinking about how you scared me and trying to decide whether I should get a ride home from somebody else.”

He laughed lightly. “I do love that honesty.”

“Do you? Well, then, how’s this for you? I’m beginning to think witches might be way worse than vampires. There’s a lot of talk about how they’re so evil. But so far I haven’t seen it. In fact, you seem like the aggressive one. Do they really come after you—or any of us?”

Nikolai’s eyes snapped angrily. I felt his power flare momentarily. Then with a breath, he consciously let it go. “It might seem like that, but you’ve been purposely kept in the dark. And this is America. The New World has fewer vampires, less history. But the short answer? Yes. Yes, they come after us. They come after us in packs. And when they catch us? It isn’t pretty.”

I frowned. I had firsthand experience with fangs. I was sure vampires could be formidable enemies. But I wasn’t quite ready to let go of my theory that maybe we were the aggressors in this little war. “So we kill them to defend ourselves.”

Nikolai nodded.

“How come I don’t hear about the vampires’ attacks?”

“Because. Thanks to the vigilance of the hunters, there hasn’t been an organized strike in centuries.”

Centuries? Did that sound a bit like circular logic? They’re horrible because they kill us, so we kill them to keep them from killing us.

Still, what did I know about it? Nik was right. I’d been consciously kept out of this discussion, while his family was smack in the middle of it. “Okay,” I quietly acquiesced, though I wasn’t sold at all.

“Do you want me to take you home now?”

His eyes watched mine for a sign. I could tell he was hopeful that I hadn’t completely gone off him.

I hadn’t, had I?

“Can we go somewhere, just the two of us, and talk? ” I asked.

He smiled warmly, with just a hint of something more feral. “I’d like that.”

 

 

AFTER TURNING IN OUR SHOES and saying good-bye to Stevie and John, Nikolai and I made our way farther into Uptown. He parked near Lake Calhoun. Though the air still held a touch of dampness, it had warmed considerably. I still had my raincoat, so I agreed to his offer of a stroll around the park.

“What about vampires? Aren’t you worried they’re going to jump out at us if we talk about them too loudly?” I asked as we made our way down a narrow set of stairs to the broad walkway. I could hear the waves lap quietly against the shore, but the lake was little more than a broad expanse of dark. Electric lights glittered distantly on the far side.

“I’ll protect you,” he said.

A nice offer, but I didn’t really expect that Elias would attack me, after all. What I didn’t want was another skirmish. I didn’t want either of them to get hurt. Or any other vamp for that matter.

My eyes searched the shadows. Knowing that Elias would be near, I only hoped he had sense enough to stay hidden.

The moon, only barely past its fullness, rose round and yellow over the beech trees. The shore smelled faintly of rotting fish, but the city noise seemed to fade a little in the tall shadows of the sailboats at dock.

“It’s been a crazy start for us, huh?” Nikolai asked softly.

He took my hand in his. It was meant to be a romantic gesture, I imagine, except he must have forgotten about the residue from the magical knife he’d almost used on Elias. A painful zing, like a jolt of electricity, shot up my arm.

“Ouch!” I said, flapping my hand, trying to get the feeling back.

Nikolai looked at his palm. He glanced at me. “What happened there?”

“It must be leftover zap from the blade.”

“Still?” He seemed to be peering at me where we stopped near the beach house. “You must be very sensitive. Most witches don’t even see it, much less feel it.”

“I’m not most witches, am I? In fact, technically, I’m not a witch at all anymore.”

There was a short pier stretching out into the water. I walked out to the end and leaned against the railing. The water was silent and dark. Gnats batted against the tall light overhead.

Nikolai came up beside me and carefully put his
other
hand on my shoulder. His body was warm, comforting. I leaned into it. “I don’t buy it, you know,” Nikolai said. “You’re a witch too.”

I squinted at him and made a face. “You were there. You saw me fail. It was a disaster.”

“You didn’t pass the Initiation. Big deal.”

It was to me, but I didn’t say anything.

“There’s more than one way to be a witch. My mother’s people don’t have any kind of special initiation. They just
are
. Her people respect magic for what it is because they have a lot of power without robes or words or flash. It’s power, like yours. Sensitivity.”

I thought about that while he held me close. We listened to the slap of the water against the dock. Nikolai’s family wasn’t part of the big Book of Shadows either. The coven had accepted him as an insider, though, because his magic was demonstrable. He was the first in his family to be a True Witch. His name would be added.

“Why did you want to be a True Witch?” I asked him. “Why not just practice Romany magic, like your mother?”

In the harsh light, Nikolai’s face darkened. I saw the muscle of his jaw flex as he considered his answer. “A True Witch is a better hunter. Magic can bind vampires.”

It all came back to being a hunter for him. I hid my discomfort by peeling paint from the rail with my fingernail.

Nikolai continued. “When it was clear I had magical potential, my father insisted we find a mentor for me, someone to make introductions. My mother knew of True Witches, of course. Her Romany blood helped open doors.”

“What about your dad? Is he a witch too? I thought only magic could trap and kill a vampire.”

“Like I said, there are all sorts of magic and magicians. Vampire hunters have very specific spells, but it was seen as an advantage to have the magic of a True Witch as well.”

“And now you’re one,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said looking out over the lake. “I know this probably sounds like a cop-out, but I have been trained to kill vampires my whole life. When I see one, instinct takes over. There’s no thinking involved, only action.”

“And if you saw my fangs, would you just act?”

He didn’t answer right away, but then, quietly, he said, “I hope to hell not.”

“Me too,” I said.

I shifted slightly under his arm, but he didn’t let go easily. Instead, he gave my shoulders a hug before releasing me. “I don’t want to lie to you,” he said. “I know this isn’t going to be easy for us, for me. I know you wish I could just abandon everything I am, but even if I could, I’m not sure I want to. I still believe in my cause. Vampires are much darker than I think you know. I can’t walk away from my duty to my family, my coven, and, frankly, humanity.”

Humanity’s end, that’s what Elias had called his people. But he was talking about a part of me. “What if I became one of them? Would you be duty-bound to stop me?”

He didn’t break our gaze. “Maybe.”

Well, it was honest. “You believe that strongly that vampires are evil?”

“I do,” he said, though his conviction sounded heavy on him. It seemed to me that he carried quite a burden. I found it noble, and not unlike Elias’s knightly duties. In their own ways, they were soldiers on opposite sides of an ancient war.

I kissed him. It was tentative. After all, I was still so very confused about how I felt about him. He scared me. He excited me. His violence disturbed me, but his compassion touched me. I could sympathize about the family pressure and the weight of his duty.

He wasn’t an easy choice; that was for sure.

We kissed for a while, just a cautious exploration. It was nice, until the mosquitoes found us and started biting. With a laugh, we dashed back to the car, arms wrapped around each other’s waist.

I didn’t want to go home, but it seemed the thing to do. Nikolai sensed my reluctance, and we meandered along the side streets when the highway would have had me home in minutes.

“Maybe we could do this again sometime,” Nikolai suggested when we finally parked in front of my house. We’d driven past it three times, thanks to the wards. “You know, my band is having a release party. I could get you in, if you want to come.”

According to Taylor, it was only the hottest ticket in town. I thought about acting cool, but it really wasn’t my style. “Are you kidding? That would be awesome!”

And the first ever band party of my life!

“When is it? ” I asked, trying not to bounce like a giddy schoolgirl.

“Tomorrow night.”

“Count me in!”

“Good. I can finally tell the guys I’m bringing a girlfriend. They’ve been teasing me that I’m gay. I just told them the right one hadn’t come along. Until now, that is.”

Was he trying to melt my heart? This time his kiss was sweet and lingering. It was hard to say good-bye.