Alone on the Oregon Trail (8 page)

As time went on, problems would develop, not with Mattie but in other matters. It seemed like some people began to get a little stir crazy and it was understandable that they were longing for their own homes. I began to get complaints from ladies who felt that we should have new rules and one of those rules they were requesting was that women should be able to take turns to living in our home.

This was a little shocking and even perhaps rude, I thought. I discussed it with Grayson and he informed me that I was running the house and I needed to stick to my guns about the matter. He told me that he would back any decision I would make and he turned around and smiled and walked out.

I appreciated his support in backing me, but I so wanted him to take the bull by the horns so I wouldn’t have to. After long thought I called a meeting in the far right corner of the barn, calling all ladies to attend. As I started with prayer, I secretly whispered to God to lead me with kindness as I stood before these strong willed women and many were very strong willed indeed.

Through much debate on the issue, I still was able to stick to my guns and many of the women would not speak to me for days, but I figured if they were in my shoes, they would have decided the same thing. I stayed with my decision to only allow those who were pregnant and especially in their final months, to stay in the house and that took up all the room in the house that we had.

I totally ignored one woman when she mentioned that Meredith and Mattie had been in the house from the start and they should be rotating by now. I announced that there would be no rotating and that my children were staying with me under all terms.

This lit up Mattie’s eyes when she heard me call her mine and she smiled like a cat caught with something she shouldn’t have had.

This decision was my final decision and I left no room for a discussion and thought it was totally unnecessary that we even had to have the meeting. I was beginning to think that we might have made a big mistake with the whole plan and we had gotten in too deep.

Time would tell if things would get worse at Loves’ Landing.

Chapter Ten

(A Christmas Gift)

We had made it to December and the people in our barn had turned into people we could not recognize. I guess you cannot always take for granted that all people that claim to be God fearing are really Christian, because some of the things we heard and saw had nothing to do with Christianity.

Somehow, we were toughing the times out and looking forward to spring. We had made it this far and thought perhaps we were out of danger with the criminals on the outside, but they must have been holding out until December.

When the first day of the month arrived, things began to liven up. Not only did the people begin to commit crimes within our group, but criminals began showing themselves around our farm as well. While we would catch someone eating more than their share of food or getting into another family’s supplies, we also were catching people trying to steal animals or break into the back of the barn. When they soon realized that they stood no chance of breaking into a barn when over one hundred people were there, they stuck to stealing cattle, hogs and even horses.

Men began sleeping in shifts so they could be on constant watch and many times they caught one red handed and brought him to the gate of the ranch. They handled it at first by warning them to not come around again, but they soon learned that hungry people do not give up because they are warned.

Then the men began loading them up in the wagon and delivering them into town to the Sheriff’s office. This worked for a time, but then it was getting dangerous to take them to town. Many that they had taken on the trip earlier were already released and heading back and this put the men in danger that were traveling and put the women in danger left at home.

So, the men decided to build a jail on the property and hold them there until they could figure out what to do with them.

On the inside we began finding food coming up short in many families’ storage and it took a lot to figure out who was doing the stealing. We had to have people sleep in shifts so no one would steal food or water.

With Christmas coming up many people on the outside had nothing to give to their families for Christmas and we had all kinds show up on our property either begging or stealing. We gave to some of them that came to plead for their children to have a ham or a pair of gloves.

I decided that we should take advantage of the moment with it being Christmas and others in need, so I asked the women if they would consider making gloves, hats and scarves for children and grownups as well and we would deliver them to people and send hams into town to others, thinking this may curtail some of the crime.

Many women were against it, but others accepted it for something to do for Christmas. We were able to make a barrel full of items and some of the men rode into town delivering these items for Christmas presents to be given to loved ones.

On one occasion our younger men were jumped by a bunch of rustlers who intended to find the boys hauling food and that particular trip, all they got was a barrel of hats, gloves and scarves and it sure was a sight when the boys told us how they got away with the barrel and were still in ear shot when the boys heard them cursing up a storm because of what they had stolen.

It was a good lesson for us as we toiled away making these things for others so they could give to their loved ones. Not only did it fill our time, but it taught us the value of giving as well.

The closer that Christmas got, I got excited to think about what I could do for the girls, because they had been so helpful in all the trials. I began pondering on what they would love the most and I remembered Meredith speaking about how she wanted to go off to college so that she could study law.

The only thing I could do for her was to give her some money as a down payment for classes that would come in the spring, along with a promise to make sure that she would be going when it was time.

For Mattie I knew exactly what was going to be her gift. I was going to do the unthinkable and hand my dear Bailey over to her. She was in love with Bailey and I knew that she would take wonderful care of him and I finally had the mindset where I could let him go.

She would be living with us for many years to come, so I felt like I could surely handle it. I was wondering what I could do with Grayson’s gift and the only thing I could think of was to tell him what he had grown to mean to me.

We had been so busy and dedicated to taking care of all these people that we had denied ourselves time alone. I would be telling him that I had fallen in love with him and this I hoped would be enough.

When Christmas Day rolled around, I hurried into the house to get their gifts ready and I called them all into the living room and I handed Meredith a little box that had some cash I had been putting back, along with a promissory note that would guarantee her to attend college when she was old enough.

As I handed her this, Grayson’s eyes lit up and he pulled me over to him, giving me a hug. He stood back and took a deep breath wondering what in the world had I done for Mattie since Meredith’s gift was so great.

He was as anxious as they were. When I walked over to Mattie, she stood so tall and looked so beautiful that I hardly recognized her. I asked her to hold her hand out and she gently held it out to me. I asked her to shut her eyes and she obeyed.

Then I took a brand new bridle with reins and placed it into her hands. As she opened her eyes she stood looking at her gift and could not say a word. I think she wasn’t sure if there was going to be a horse with it. I asked her to go to the back porch for the rest of it. She walked through the house and to the back porch and resting on the railing was a brand new leather saddle with detailed flowers and leaves engraved into the leather.

Just on the other side of the railing stood Bailey, who was staring back at her. Mattie understood that the bridle and the saddle were for her, but she had no idea what completed the package. She ran to thank me, hugging me tightly and I said to her, “Well, don’t you think you need a horse to go with all that?”

She blushed and was too embarrassed to respond and just smiled. Then I walked over and grabbed Bailey by the neck and gave him a huge kiss and one final sniff into his mane and then I said, “Bailey is yours now and I expect you will take wonderful care of him and ride him every day.”

Hearing this she jumped up into my arms, knocking me over on the porch and we both would have fallen to the ground, but Grayson was able to catch us before we hit the floor. She hugged me and cried and kissed my cheeks until she was in tears.

I, too, was crying and could not stop.

These were my gifts to the new loves of my life. Now, I had to find the time to give Grayson his gift and I most certainly wanted to be able to do it in private. I was not positive that he would think of it as being much of a gift, but it was the best I could do.

After the girls had settled down and went their own ways to do this and that, Grayson was still sitting on the back porch where we had been spending the afternoon and I went back out to sit with him.

Instead of sitting in a chair that was pulled up next to our swing, I sat down with him in the swing. Scooting over to give me room, I scooted even closer to him and he looked up so shyly and a bit confused looking.

I took his hand in mine and I looked him straight into his eyes and I said “Grayson, we have been so busy with all of our work that I have not had much time to spend with you, nor have I had time to tell you that I have fallen deeply in love with you.”

I had wished that I had confessed this to him much sooner because when he heard me say those things to him, he grabbed me up and gave me our very first kiss and we sat in each other’s arms crying well into the night.

Before we finally went our separate ways to our rooms, he asked me to marry him and of course, I agreed. He then spoke the sweetest words I so longed to hear.

Instead of waiting for months on end for a wedding, he asked me if I would have anything against getting married on New Year’s Day. I had no qualms whatsoever and could not have agreed more.

We decided that we would announce it in the morning and we would be prepare for a wedding only days away and we kissed each other goodnight and I went inside to my room and he parted to his place in the barn.

I’m betting that he did not get any more sleep than I did, and I didn’t sleep a wink.

Morning brought sunshine and happiness to my heart and Grayson was at the door when he saw the first stir in the house. He walked in with a whole new look about him and he seemed to have the overnight jitters.

I had to laugh to myself to see him acting so giddy. We chose to tell the girls while we were eating breakfast and as we announced our news, the girls jumped out of their chairs and they both landed on top of us, Mattie on me and Meredith on Grayson.

We all spent the entire day planning our wedding and for the next three days I went right to work making the girls dresses as well as mine. There was not much time for plans so not many plans were made, but our wedding was beautiful and we gave our hearts and hands in marriage, a union with God as our guide to making a family in His image of what He intended family to be.

As I found myself walking towards my new husband I could hear inside my heart Nathaniel as he was giving me his blessing and his last words he said to me as I took my husband’s hand in mine was, “Autumn -- do you see it Brooklyn? Autumn is just around the corner and as I searched my heart, looking into Grayson’s eyes, I knew I was doing the right thing in going on with my life.

I knew that autumn had come and went and I was still with the man I was meant to be with. As for Nathaniel, I knew that he would always be a part of me and now would be a part of my new family. It was not an ending, but a beginning and I could always carry Nathaniel with them throughout my new life.

Autumn had served its purpose with me.

Autumn was preparing me to take a step forward in my life, to get through the trials, not to escape them in the way I had wished for. God sees us through our troubles and autumn had come and gone as I carried on with Nathaniel in my heart, walking the paths covered with crisp golden and brown leaves.

He had described autumn for what it would be for me, filled with laughing children, trials and tribulations and followed by celebrations in the heart.

Christmas brought to me a new life. It brought to me a new opportunity to share my love that I had deep within me and it brought to me healing that soared through veins, week after week, until the pain, the blame and the guilt were lifted from me and I was set free to live, laugh and love. Christmas gave to me a beginning with two adorable daughters that I could have in my life to have and to hold, and a husband that I could be a wife to, the same wife that I was to Nathaniel.

This release gave to me a new found faith in God, even stronger than before and now I could apply this faith as I watched and lived my life with a young girl who was also well on her way to find peace and healing for her own mind and heart.

Christmas was, indeed, a beginning.