Altercation (23 page)

Jaci followed Mrs. Nichols into the living room, feeling sick to her stomach. It felt wrong to be here without Callie. She hovered in the doorway, staring at the mantle.

Callie’s school picture had been blown up to a poster. It sat on the mantle, white roses hanging from it. Her light blue eyes shone behind the wire frames, her smile confident and friendly. Jaci swallowed and her chin quivered. She pressed a hand to her mouth, trying to stop the tears.

Mrs. Nichols turned around and her brows lifted. “Oh, sweetheart.” Tears spilled down her face.

Jaci shook her head, a sob erupting from her throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it worse.”

“Honey.” She hugged Jaci again. “You were such a good friend to her. She loved you so much.”

Jaci couldn’t stop crying. “It should never have been her. Not Callie.”

Mrs. Nichols placed a box of tissues in front of her, and Jaci sobbed for twenty minutes. Finally the tears stopped flowing. She battled to get her emotions under control

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I didn’t think it would affect me so much.” She gestured at the picture. “To see her. It’s just hard to believe she’s really gone.”

Mrs. Nichols squeezed her hand. “We’re so happy you three are home. It’s not like having our Callie back.” She swallowed hard. “But it brings us some comfort.”

“I wanted to tell you,” Jaci whispered, “how she died.”

“We know, sweetie. We got the report you told the FBI.”

“But it was more personal than that.” Jaci took a deep breath. “She wanted to escape. I promised her I’d run with her. But I lost my nerve. When she went, she went alone.” She lifted her eyes, meeting Mrs. Nichols’ gaze. “There was no way she could make it. They only shot her once. I’m pretty sure she died immediately.” She lost control at those words and tore her eyes away before the tears overflowed again.

Mrs. Nichols rubbed her back. “I understand your feelings, Jaci. But the truth is, you may have been killed along with her. Or you may have escaped, leaving Amanda and Sara to fend for themselves. Who knows how that would’ve turned out?” She pressed her forehead to Jaci’s. “Truth is, dear, we don’t know what would’ve happened. But you’re back now.”

“We made it,” she whispered, more to herself than anything.

“You made it,” Mrs. Nichols agreed. “And Callie would be glad. You still have a long and lovely life ahead of you, Jaci. Don’t waste it on regrets.” She fingered Jaci’s short hair. “New style?”

Jaci reached up and touched it. “Someone thought I needed a new look.”

They both chuckled, which Jaci found refreshing. “Do you mind if I go to her room? Just to . . . say goodbye.”

“No. Of course not.”

“Thanks.” Jaci tried to smile, but knew it fell flat. She hurried down the hall before Mrs. Nichols could see her break down again.

The room hadn’t changed. Except it looked like Callie’s little brother Quincy had donated all of his stuffed animals to her bedding. And hearts and flowers covered every inch of wall, tokens from friends and family.

“Callie,” Jaci whispered. She could say no more before the tears overflowed. She collapsed to her knees and sobbed. She didn’t care who heard. Her best friend in the whole world was dead. Nothing would ever be the same.

“I’m so sorry, Callie. So sorry. I should’ve been with you. Even if it meant I’d died too.”

Jaci cried until she ran out of tears. The ache in her throat lessened and the pressure in her chest lifted. She looked up and noticed the sunlight streaming in from the window. It warmed the pink bedspread, lighting up the pastel yellow walls.

Callie would want to her to be alive, to be happy.

After all, Callie wasn’t really gone. Just dead.

Jaci stood up, taking a deep breath. She could let it go.

She glanced at the clock on the wall. Two o’clock. Jaci turned and bolted for the door. She had half an hour. If she ran, she could make it.

J
aci paused inside the double doors of the North Bingham County Library. She shivered and shrugged out of her jacket, appreciating the warm air that circulated inside. Her cheeks felt hot from the run, and her nose tingled. She hooked her jacket under one arm and bent over the water fountain. She closed her eyes, relishing the way the icy water ran down her throat.

“Hey.”

She turned her head and the water hit her cheek. Jaci jumped backward, suddenly nervous now that she saw Ricky. “You’re still here.”

He stayed where he was, by a wooden bench several feet away from her. He had his hands in his pockets and looked trim and fit in his tight black sweater. “You came to see me, right?”

Jaci lowered her eyes and fingered the hood to her jacket. Why was she nervous? This was Ricky. She knew him.

He shifted, drawing her eyes back to him. “Maybe you’re not ready. I’ll be here tomorrow.” He picked a tan jacket off the bench and pushed his arms into it.

“Wait.” Jaci grabbed his arm. “No, don’t. Don’t go. I’m sorry. I keep making things awkward.”

He paused, half way into his jacket. He cocked his head, peering at her. “You been crying?”

“It’s the cold.”

She could tell from his expression that he didn’t quite believe her. “You walk here?”

“Walk? In this weather? No way. I ran.”

Ricky took his jacket all the way off. “I’m sure that made it warmer.”

“What about you?” Sara’s house was only a ten-minute drive from the library, but that would make a very long walk.

“I’m never walking again if I can help it. Neal’s here with me. Somewhere.”

Had Neal brought Ricky every day? On the off chance that Jaci would show up? She rubbed her hands together.

“Neal can give you a ride home too, if you want.”

Jaci shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I called Seth on the way here. He’s coming to get me. He wants me to practice my driving, anyway, and he’s driving up to Montana tomorrow.”

“Montana?” Ricky echoed.

This time Jaci could not resist a smile. “Yeah. Someone he wants to see.”

“Good for him.” Ricky took her by the arm and sat her down on the bench. “You have your phone on you?”

“Of course. Always.” If Jaci stepped out of the house without her phone, her mom charged out the door after her, waving it in the air.

He took her gloves off and rubbed her fingers. “Yeah, Neal and I have one too. Nice of Sara’s mom.”

Jaci nodded. She felt guilty, all of a sudden, for not being more involved in his life. He and Neal had been adjusting too. They probably needed the friendship and support as much as she did. She had Seth and her mother and Amanda. They only had each other.

But Ricky didn’t give her a chance to ask about him. “How are you? Is it good to be home?”

She let out a careful breath. “Yeah, I think so. Everything’s the same, but it isn’t, you know?” She smiled briefly. “Do you know?”

He shrugged. “Sure. I think so. Nothing’s the same for me, but I can kind of imagine how it would be.”

“How do you like your new family?”

“No complaints. Doesn’t feel real. Elizabeth doesn’t treat us like foster kids, she treats us like guests. Caters to us.”

“How’s Sara?”

“Coming around. Yeah, she’s doing better. Spending less time in her room. I think she’s happy to have us around.”

“I’m sure she is.” Jaci reached down and gripped his fingers. “What about Neal?”

“Well, he’s Neal, isn’t he? Always adapting, making the best of things.”

Jaci took a deep breath. She was finally feeling normal again. Not jumping at shadows, not staring at vans, not screaming in the night.

Not feeling guilty for being alive.

She took her hand off Ricky’s and stretched her fingers. “My mom wants me to think about going back to school after Thanksgiving break.”

“Really? Not Elizabeth.”

“Oh, I bet you’re really disappointed,” Jaci teased.

He laughed. “Yeah. Couldn’t wait to get going again.”

Jaci settled back against the wall, watching Ricky. “Was this what you wanted to talk about?”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her against him, resting his chin on her head for a moment. “No. But before I say anything, is there anything you want to talk about?”

“What do you mean?” Her throat tightened. Was he asking about what happened with The Hand? She couldn’t talk about that.

He squeezed her hand. “Anything.”

Jaci shook her head, a bit too emphatically. “No. No, I don’t think so.”

“You sure?”

She nodded, reaching her fingers up to touch her lips. The linoleum blurred in front of her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He put his forehead against hers. “Jace. You don’t have to tell me anything. Ever. Just forget about it. All of it.”

Hot tears stung her eyes, and she exhaled. “Okay.”

He pulled his head back. “You’re sixteen now.”

“Yeah. Still can’t drive.”

“But you can date, huh.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Great. But I want to know where you stand. Before we go into all that.”

Her eyes swept over his face, taking in the square jaw and the high cheek bones. They lingered on his mouth, and she blushed. “Nothing’s changed.”

“Well, that’s posh, except it doesn’t really help. I don’t know how things were before.”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you stupid?”

“That’s debatable. So would you go on a date with me?”

Jaci tucked another strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. Yeah, I would.”

Ricky grinned. “That’s great.” He took a deep breath, his smile disappearing. “But there’s been a change.”

Jaci raised an eyebrow, hearing the note of warning in his voice. “Oh?” Her heart pounded a little harder. She would shoot him if she had just confessed her feelings to him and his had changed.

“We’re moving.”

“Who’s moving?” And then she understood. She sputtered, feeling like someone had dumped icy water on her. “What? Why? When?”

He rubbed her arm. “Saturday. That’s why we’re not starting school on Monday.”

Jaci slipped her hand from his grasp and pressed it to her brow. “Why?”

“For Sara. So she can have a new environment, a fresh start.”

Saturday. Four days from today. “Will you be back?”

“Will the Yadles be back? I don’t know.” He took her by the shoulders. “But I will be.”

She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t. He would move away and forget her. Carry on with his life.

And so would she. “I don’t want you to go.” She put her hands over her face, unable to stop the tears.

He held her while she cried. The doors opened and closed as patrons came and left the library, but she ignored them.

Finally she pulled away. “Seth will be here soon.”

“He’s not here yet.” Ricky traced her jaw with his finger. He lifted his eyes and glanced over her shoulder. “There he is.”

She looked back, spotting the orange jeep as it pulled up to the curb.

“I’ll walk you out.” Ricky put on his jacket.

“Okay.” She zipped hers up and pushed her fingers into the gloves.

He took her hand and walked her to the door. “When can I take you out?”

She tried to imagine them sitting in a nice restaurant, normal-style. All she could picture was sitting on the dirt, lighting campfires and roasting rabbits. “You don’t have a license.”

“But Neal does.”

She smiled. “Maybe. Call me.”

He grabbed her face in both hands and kissed her mouth.

It was so fast that she didn’t have a chance to react. She registered his scent, the warmth of his lips against hers. Then he let go and grinned at her. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she echoed. She turned around and ran outside, hardly noticing the fat, wet snowflakes that fell on her nose and eyelashes.

T
his spot will probably always be reserved for my husband, who sacrifices more than he signed up for so I can pursue my writing career. I couldn’t do any of this without him.

T
amara Hart Heiner lives in Arkansas with her husband and three children. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in English. She is also the author of
Perilous,
the prequel to
Altercation.
Besides writing, she enjoys all things food, especially baking. Perhaps someday she’ll own a bakery and sell her own books inside.