Always Been You (13 page)

“Are you sure about this?”

“You look like you need a break anyway, Jenna, and a new face might help.”

Giving him a tired smile as I gently placed Tessa into his arms, Jacob then readjusted the blanket around her and began rocking her back and forth the same way I had done. Within minutes, Tessa was completely calm.

“See, I told you it would work,” he whispered.

Tessa then lifted a tiny hand towards Jacob’s face. I was surprised to hear her coo as he goofily screwed his finger into the dimple on his cheek.

“Somebody sure likes Uncle Jacob,” I said, when I noticed Amy waltzing into the room. Her eyes were flicking back and forth expeditiously between me and Jacob, I could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she gave us a wide grin.

“Hey, Jacob, will you be okay watching Tessa for a bit?” she asked. “I…uh…I have something important upstairs to show Jenna in my room.”

“No problem, Amy,” he said.

Rolling my eyes as he turned his head and gave me the same goofy face, I got up from the couch and followed a silent Amy up the stairs. Before I even stepped into her room, Amy then quickly grabbed my arm, yanked me in, and firmly shut the door.

“Okay, Jen, what’s really going on with you and Jacob?” she ordered.

“I thought you wanted to show me something?” I said.

“That was just an excuse so I could talk to you privately. The real reason I have you up here is because I’ve been itching to find out who you spent Valentine’s with.”

“Why do you need to know that?”

“I thought you might need some cheering up after dealing with that Ethan prick—which we also need to talk about, by the way—but when I called to see if you wanted to join me and Matt for a movie, you weren’t home. Your mom told me you were out with one of your friends, but she wouldn’t say who. She did giggle a lot, which got me thinking it must be Jacob. Except when I called your cell to confirm it, you didn’t pick up. I know it can’t be Aaron since you told me he was busy, and you always answer your cell, even if you’re at home. I would’ve asked you sooner, but I’ve been too tired with everything that’s been going on with Tessa. Now that I have the chance to after witnessing how you guys managed to calm her down, I definitely need to know what’s going on. So spill, who were you with?”

“Well…” I started to shift.

“It was Jacob, wasn’t it?” she exclaimed. “I knew it was him when Matt called Jacob and couldn’t find him either.”

“Are you two spying on us?”

“Um…no?”

“Right,” I said. “If you really want to know, Miss Nosey, he took me out on a friendly date to redeem the bet we made during bowling since I still haven’t done anything about it.”

“I’m sure it was just a friendly date.”

“It was.”

“I think it’s just a lame excuse to ask you out. He could’ve picked any day, yet he chose Valentine’s, the most romantic day of the year.”

“I did ask him why he was keeping me company instead of asking someone else—”

“Because he likes you,” she said slowly.

“—and he told me that he was more concerned about cheering up a friend,” I went on, ignoring her grin. “He said that since I was there whenever he had problems with Amber, he decided to return the favour.”

“You just keep telling yourself that. Now that I know Jacob’s your secret admirer—”

“Friend,” I cut in.

“Secret admirer,” she repeated. “Did you find out what the roses mean?”

“He said he’ll tell me soon, but what’s the reason behind all these questions?”

“I’ve noticed how happy Jacob has been since Valentine’s…happier than I have ever seen him,” she explained. “I had a feeling something was up by how attentive he’s been towards you lately until he got all moody a week later. If I’m correct, that was when you went out with Aaron, but then you became distracted right after that. Therefore, it got me thinking that maybe Aaron asked you to be his girlfriend.”

“You really are scary sometimes, Ames,” I said in awe.

“I take it he did then,” she grinned, looking triumphant. “So was Aaron’s date better than Jacob’s?”

“Well, if you want me to compare Jacob taking me for dinner and a movie to Aaron taking me on a romantic boat cruise, then yeah, Aaron’s date was better. But Jacob’s wasn’t even a date anyway. With Aaron, he knows how much I don’t really like fancy places, but I think he only chose something elaborate just to ask if I wanted to be his girlfriend.”

“And you probably told Aaron you want to think about it first, didn’t you?” said Amy.

“Have you ever thought about becoming a psychic?”

“Be serious, Jen.”

“Sorry,” I grinned. “Okay, yes, I did tell Aaron I need some time first. I mean, he’s a great friend and really fun to hang out with, but I really can’t picture him as boyfriend material.”

“Probably because deep down you still want to see if you and Jacob will ever be.”

“I don’t think that’s it.”

“You can’t tell me from what I’ve been observing these past couple of months that something isn’t happening between you and Jacob. He even wrote that beautiful letter for you.”

“Actually his sister wrote it for him.”

“But he still technically wrote it,” she said. “Hey, maybe Jacob knows about Aaron.”

“Not if you’re the first person I told.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know.”

“You care more deeply about Jacob than you did before because you like him again, don’t you?”

My mind raced, trying to decide how much I wanted to admit as she arched her eyebrows at me, daring me to contradict her, when an image abruptly popped in my head. It was of Jacob’s face as he kissed me under the mistletoe.

In that one glance, all the barriers I had built up to protect me from his spell came tumbling down, engulfing me in feelings I thought I managed to bury long ago. His eyes felt like he could see straight into my soul, and I realised that at that moment, no matter how many times I tried to deny it, I had fallen for Jacob Bennett again.

“Um…okay, fine I do, but no, I don’t want to,” I answered, flopping on to her bed.

“And why don’t you want to?”

“Because back then it was just a crush. Now I definitely know this time it’s deeper than before. The sad thing about it is I don’t want to get my hopes up just to have them shot down. I even stopped talking to him the first time since all he did was ignored me.”

“Jen, I know how much you went through just to get over him the first time. That’s probably why you’re scared, but it will be okay. I’m sure he knows you’re the one for him. It took him long enough to be your friend again, but it’s starting to happen. He’s probably taking things carefully because he’s also thinking of a future with you in it.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because I know he cares deeply about you. Why else would he act that way when he finds out guys are hitting on you? I don’t know of any other guy who would act like such a jerk when he finds out the girl he likes is being asked out by someone else.”

“If he’s interested, wouldn’t he have tried not being an ass to me?”

“Okay, I’ll give you that, but then you also did forgive him for treating you so badly.”

“Maybe I should just give up on guys,” I sighed.

“And why would you want to do something like that?” she chided.

“Because it’s too confusing,” I said ruefully. “I don’t know what to think anymore. One minute it seems like something’s happening between us, and the next Jacob’s sprouting that we’re just friends. Even after his kiss on New Year’s, which we both know he didn’t get pressured into, something like that still doesn’t mean any thing to him.”

“How was that kiss anyway?” she asked with curiosity.

“It was good.”

“A good
‘good
’, or a bad
‘good’
?”

“An extremely good
‘good’,
” I said, drawing my knees to my chest. “I can see why so many girls want to see what its like. He really is a great kisser.”

“Jacob’s the one who bought you that expensive pendant, didn’t he?” she asked, staring at the necklace dangling over my knees.

“It’s my Christmas present from him, but how do you know this is expensive?”

“Because anything that has this many real diamonds in it is guaranteed to have a huge price tag to it. I know Jacob’s rich, but don’t you think that’s a bit excessive for someone to spend if they only think of you as a friend? Even Matt has never lavished me with an elaborate gift like this.”

“And how do you know these are real diamonds?”

“I’ve seen it before.”

“Did you and Matt go and look at engagement rings or something?”

Amy blushed. “No, we did not do that. I was looking for a Christmas present for my mom online and saw the same pendant on one of the jewellery sites.”

“Now I feel even guiltier about him spending so much on me,” I sighed.

“If Jacob told you not to worry about it, then don’t,” said Amy. “Besides, you should get used to the idea of him wanting to buy things for you once you guys start dating.”

“I don’t know if that will ever happen, Ames. Now that he considers me his best friend in the whole world, I don’t think I could stand it if we end up ruining what we have. If we did start dating and things don’t turn out right for us, I don’t want to be the one who breaks everyone apart, especially Matt, just because Jacob and I can’t get a long anymore. I already feel bad for doing that to Matt the first time I chose to ignore Jacob.”

“Well, I know you, and I know him almost as well as I know you, so you know that I know everything will be fine.”

“Um, run that by me again?” I smirked.

“What I’m saying is that I’m positively sure once Jacob figures out his feelings, he will come around,” she sighed. “He’s scared like you are about rejection and about how important your friendship means to him. I think he’s afraid of ruining it now that you’re the object of his affections.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, Ames.”

“Why is it so hard to believe Jacob might actually like you back?” she asked, looking disappointed at my lack of enthusiasm.

“Because I don’t want to over think any situation when it has to do with Jacob,” I said. “I’d rather just bury my feelings for him and concentrate on being a close friend.”

“You’re simply going to suppress those feelings?” she said, looking aghast. “Why don’t you just tell him?”

“Are you mad?” I said in disbelief.

“No, I’m not. I’m telling you, I think it’s better if you just asked him and also tell him how you feel,” she persisted.

“Right now I think we should see how he’s doing with Tessa.”

Without waiting for another word from her, I hastily got up from her bed and walked out of her room. When I headed down the stairs, I then found Jacob and Tessa fast asleep on the couch.

“He’s very good with kids, isn’t he?” Amy whispered from behind me. “Wouldn’t it be nice if she was yours?”

I was completely taken aback with her comment, but as she cast me a smug glance and left to retrieve her sister, a same line of thought sprang in my mind. For a brief moment, I imagined myself holding a tiny baby with dark brown hair and brown eyes, and a proud looking Jacob standing with us. Realising it was a dangerous path I was being led to, I quickly gave myself a mental slap to erase the unwanted thought and joined Jacob on the couch.

“So what did Amy want?” he yawned, inclining his sleepy head towards Amy’s back.

“Nothing important really,” I fibbed, tucking my feet under my legs. “I take it Tessa’s going to be another one of your adoring admirers to add to your never ending list, huh? I just didn’t know you liked them so young.”

“For your information, I’m just naturally good with kids,” he said.

“Yeah, well, I never knew you had such a maternal instinct in you. Oops! Did I say maternal? I meant fraternal,” I laughed.

Jacob prodded my stomach.

“Hey, Jacob, when you’re done flirting with Jenna, care for a game?” asked Matt, walking into the living room with a gigantic wooden box tucked under his right arm.

“We’re not flirting!” said Jacob.

“Of course not,” sighed Matt. “So, are you playing or not? I won’t take offence if you don’t want to. After all the years I’ve beaten you, you know there is no way I’m going to show you any mercy.”

Jacob laughed. “No mercy? Are you sure it will be me because you definitely will be begging me for that!”

“You know, I think it’s a great idea,” I said. “And of course it will benefit Jacob more since Matt’s brain is already missing from his head.”

As Matt gave me a wry look and placed the box down, I noticed it was Amy’s custom made chessboard she had gotten for her sixteenth birthday. Her godfather built the board and had carved each piece by hand.

While the guys were busy setting up the gigantic pieces on the ground, Amy came back into the room and joined me on the couch. However, within a few minutes of chatting aimlessly about anything, and also about you-know-who, Amy and I then turned our attention to the two players focused intently on their game. After three and a half solid hours of silence, something happened that I could not remember having ever seen. Matt lost.

Matt couldn’t believe it either as he continued to stare at his king trapped in the corner by Jacob’s rook and horse. When he quickly challenged Jacob to a rematch to which Jacob graciously accepted, that game also ended in a close knit battle, but barely. Both players had been reduced to a handful of pieces each. Strangely enough, Matt wasn’t angry about Jacob’s dramatic improvement, but rather, he was pleased.

“You didn’t teach him anything, did you, Jenna?” asked Matt, accusingly.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Matt,” I smirked, “but Jacob won the game on his own.”

“Did you know Jenna’s the only person who comes close to beating me?” said Matt.

“What? You missed me that much you had to find another substitute to beat at chess?” said Jacob.

“What? Is Jenna’s sarcasm rubbing off on to you because you two are secretly dating?” said Matt, grinning at his cousin with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“I’ve always had this sarcasm in me from dealing with you for so many years,” Jacob said with a yawn. “Hey, Ames, is it okay if I take a quick nap before heading home? I’m feeling a bit tired after playing two games. Shut it, Jenna.”