Always (Bold as Love) (21 page)

“Yeah, buddy.” We untangle and sit up as Drake opens the door and turns on the light, making everyone's eyes squint. “What's the matter?”

“
I can't sleep.”

“
It's only been an hour, Drake. Go back to bed,” my voice stern.

Emily elbows me with a glare. “Come here, Drake,” she says patting a spot on the edge of the bed. When he sits, she asks, “What's going on?”

“It doesn't feel like home. I miss Dad.” His eyes never wavier from Emily's and I wonder if he's nervous about saying that he misses Dad in front of me. He shouldn't be, but that doesn't mean he isn't.

“
Aw, buddy. This will feel like home soon. And I think we all miss your dad. Right, Jake?” Emily looks at me expectantly.

“
Yeah. We all miss Dad, Drake. You two go in the living room and I'll be there in a second.”

Once they leave the room, I take down one of the boxes on the top shelf in our closet. Inside is the onesie and teddy bear Emily bought for the baby and all the video tapes my dad kept. I rummaged around until I find one from Drake's fourth birthday. Emily is sitting in the middle with Drake to her left on the couch. I crouch in front of the television and turn it on, popping the tape into the old VCR.

“What are we watching?” Drake asks.

“
You'll see.” I rewind the tape so it'll start at the beginning. Once it clicks to a stop, I press play and sit on the couch beside Emily, laying my arm on the back of the couch as she leans into me.

It starts with an unsteady view of Mom lighting the candles on the cake and Dad laughing at something she said before he started recording.

“Hurry up, baby. There's going to be wax in the cake if you keep taking your time. There's only four candles,” Dad says from behind the camera.

Mom gives her trademark, full smile as she sets down the lighter and picks up the cake. Dad follows her outside where Drake, a few of his friends, and myself are waiting at a picnic table. Mom places the cake in front of Drake and rests her hands on his shoulders. She leans down and whispers in his ear. The camera doesn't pick it up because of how rowdy the other four year olds are, but I know what she told him. Same thing she told me on my birthdays before I would blow out the candles.

“Make your wishes, Drake. Wish for whatever you'd like and then make a wish for someone else.”

Drake squeezes his eyes closed as Mom begins to sing happy birthday and everyone joins in. His face is packed with concentration and once it's time, he blows out all the candles.

“I wonder what she said,” Drake comments, fascinated by the forgotten memory.

“
She told you to make your wishes. One for you and then one for someone else. She would tell me the same thing.”

We continue to watch as everyone gets a slice of cake and Dad zooms the camera on my fourteen year old self.

“Dad, quit!” I said, holding my hand up in front of the lens. “It's bad enough that I'm spending my day with a bunch of four year olds. You don't have to capture it on camera.”

“
Oh, lighten up, Jake,” Mom said with a pat on the shoulder. “Your brother only turns four once and you can go on a date with Amy any time.”

“
Whatever,” I grumbled.

Dad laughed and we watch as he follows Drake around for the rest of the day. By the time Drake is opening his presents on the TV, this Drake has fallen asleep on Emily.

“I guess I better get him to bed,” I whisper.

“
You are the sweetest big brother ever,” she says just as quietly with a kiss on the cheek.

Emily leans away from me so I can stand. I pick a deadweight Drake up and carry him to his room, tucking him in and leaving him. Emily turned the TV off and is already in our bed. I close our door and turn off the light. Once my eyes adjust, I walk over and crawl into bed beside her. Sweetness tangles herself with me and squeezes.

“That was so nice, love.”

“
Those were happy times. Let's get some sleep, Sweetness.”

37

Emily

It's going to be forever until I get used to this city. All I have to say is I'm thankful for the invention of a built in GPS on my phone Without it, I wouldn't have made it to the school I'm going to attend. It's pack with other people wanting to register for classes and I can't wait to get this process over with. It takes two hours. Two hours! By the time I return, Jake and Drake are enjoying the benefits of wifi and cable. Drake is on the recliner and Jake is sitting on the left hand side of the couch. I turn away from him and fall back onto the couch, landing my head in his lap.

“What's up, Sweetness? All registered for school?”

“
Yep. I left all the books and schedule and stuff in my car though. I need a nap.”

He smiles and leans down to kiss my forehead. Shutting my eyes, I attempt to sleep while listening to Phineas and Ferb in the background. The next month feels like a weird dream. I hear from Dad every other day, go to school, carry Drake to and from school, do homework, and take Drake to his hockey practice. It's actually lessons for now. He goes five times a week for lessons and even then, that's not enough for him. He wants to go every day for hours at a time. He wants to learn and be good at it.

Jake, on the other hand, has been swept up in living his dream. Sometimes he leaves before us, but usually he leaves after we do. Most of the time, he gets home a little after we do unless it's game day. By that time, we're in bed. With the preseason just ending, Jake is loving life and living on cloud nine. It's wonderful seeing him so happy. That seems to be the only emotion he knows lately. Happy. Never anything but happy.

Drake and I try to make his home games, but one of us always seems to have something going on. Jake told us both that our schooling comes first so if we have a lot of work to do, we're at home. It's usually my workload that keeps us from going. However, with the start of the regular season, Drake and I make the effort to be at the home games. I can stand to lose some sleep doing homework anyway. Tonight is game night, also my birthday, and Jake is back in North Carolina. He sent flowers to the house and sang to me over the phone this morning. Then he sent me on a wild hunt around the apartment to find my present, which was a wedding ring charm for my bracelet.

“Drake! C'mon! The game is starting,” I yell from the couch.

“
I'm coming. I'm coming,” he says as he walks out of his room and plops onto opposite end of the couch.

Jake has been playing some, but tonight is a big night. He's starting. Drake and I watch and watch, never leaving the couch. We yell and high five when Jake's team scores. We're down to the final minute of the last period and the game is tied 2-2. I don't know about Drake, but for me this feels like a playoff game. I'm exploding with nerves and my gut is saying that something good is going to happen. Jake has the puck and is making his way across the ice. He passes it and then it's passed back to him. Three seconds remain in the game and I'm on the edge of the couch.

“C'mon,” I say under my breath just as Jake shoots with a second left.

“
GOAL!” the announcer yells on the TV. I scream and jump up. “Jake Benson of the Chicago Blackhawks makes his first NHL goal and the game winning one at that.”

The announcers keep talking, but I don't hear them. Drake and I high five and I see my love grinning ear to ear as the camera zooms in on him with his teammates surrounding him. The game ends and my love scored the game winning goal.

“That was awesome!” Drake exclaims.

“
It sure was,” I breathe. The excitement wears off and I get Drake into bed for the night. Jake won't be back until tomorrow as they are staying in Raleigh for the night. Once I change and crawl into bed, I lay on my side, watching my phone sitting on the nightstand. It's an hour later when it vibrates and lights up. A smiling Jake appears on the screen and I swipe the bar to answer.

“
Love, you were great tonight!”

“
Sweetness, it was amazing. Tonight is just the beginning. But tell me about your day. How did Drake's lessons go?”

“
My day was just like every other day. Helen and I aced our tests.”

“
Helen?”

“
Yes, Helen. I told you about her a couple of weeks ago. She's in most of my classes and has a little girl, remember?”

“
Oh, yeah. Gotcha.”

I had a feeling he didn't really recall, but I ignored it and told him about Drake's lessons. “He's doing really well. He's a quick learner.”

“Good to hear. I'll see you around six tomorrow unless you want to meet me for lunch around one.”

“
I'd love to.”

“
Great. I'll see you there. I love you, Sweetness. Always.”

“
I love you too.”

That's been our routine so far. Whenever Jake comes back from away games, we meet at this diner across town that we both love, eat lunch, return to the apartment and have a little time to ourselves. It only works because my last class gets out at one and I meet Jake right after. It gives us plenty of time alone before I have to run Drake on his errands. I tell ya. Life is pretty hectic with me trying to keep up with all of our schedules. Jake is on his own with his and Drake's is pretty much in stone. Mine tries to accommodate them both.

Mostly, it seems like I'm either at school or at the rink with Drake. Sundays are usually the only down time days I have and even then, Drake wants to go to the rink. We've been in Chicago for three months and I'm ready for a vacation.

The school year and the season whirls by. It's been both fun and hard. For one, winter in Chicago is no joke. Jake plays more and more and keeps on scoring. Drake turned ten and we had a party at the rink with Drake's newfound friends from school and hockey lessons. I didn't go home for Christmas. Instead, we spent it here. At home. Dad visited a couple of days before and we went to one of Jake's games. He spent Christmas Eve and Day with his soon-to-be wife.

I haven't heard from Cherish since that night except for a few emails about their wedding this summer. I guess since I'm the groom's daughter that automatically makes me a bridesmaid. Great.

Jake turned twenty in February and all he wanted was to spend the day with us and the night with me. We went to the movies and ate at a fancy restaurant. He had been talking about Hawaii so I booked a trip for the summer as his present. He joked about how I used his money to pay for his present since I never got a job. School and Drake take up too much time.

On Valentine's Day, Jake sent flowers once more and set me up an appointment for a day at the spa. It was so relaxing and worth every penny he spent. I felt guilty though because my gift to him wasn't that great. He didn't care about that though. I know because when I told him, he said, “I'm just happy that I could make you happy.”

The end of the school year is almost here. Playoff season starts in a few days and I have a feeling that the next month is going to be crazy. I have to say, though, I love this life here with my boys, even the crazy times. Following Jake's advice, I've been working on my worrying. I worry less and live happier. I still have my days, don't get me wrong. No one can deny this kind of joy, especially with Jake always smiling.

Jake is playing in the NHL. I'm getting closer to finishing school. We're doing exactly what we want and we're all happy. Lying here, with Jake holding me, I can't help but wonder what is in store for us next.

Thank you
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