Always His (Crazed Devotion #1) (24 page)

W
as I mad she’d gone to the hospital?

No, because I knew it had nothing to do with her having feelings for Tyler. Nicole just has such an amazing heart. She’s the most compassionate person I’ve ever met, and she would help anyone if she could. What did upset me was that she didn’t confide in me. Instead, Allan gave me the news. After he showed up at the apartment to stay with Tori, I left.

Now I was standing right outside the elevator on the second floor of Marshall Medical, debating what to do next. I had tried to talk myself out of being upset the entire drive over, and the moment I got in the elevator over twenty minutes ago, it all began again. The last thing Nicole needed was me being some petty asshole.

“Hey.” My body stiffened at the sound of her voice, and I spun around to find her looking back at me nervously. “How long have you been here?” she asked.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“I don’t need to ask if you’re upset. I can see it.” She hung her head, looking down at her feet. “I’m sorry I didn’t call right away. It was all a bit overwhelming, and before I knew it, my dad said he’d already called you.”

An older man approached, and I stepped to the side, allowing him better access to the elevator I was blocking. My movements caused Nicole to look up, and when she did her eyes were reddened. “I’m truly sorry,” she said.

I hooked her waist and pulled her close, wrapping my other arm around her shoulders. As she lay her head against my chest, I heard her take in a deep breath, breathing me in. I did the same with her, and the smell of her shampoo filled my nose.

We stood there in the hall, neither of us saying a word as we just held on to one another while people passed us.

“How is he?” I asked.

“We don’t know anything yet. He’s still in surgery.”

Another silence set in, and I waited for her to speak, because I had no idea what to say.

“I should have called you, but I . . .” She lifted her head, tilting it back enough to look up at me. “I thought you’d say I shouldn’t come.”

“You think I’m that heartless?” My question came out a little harsher than I’d intended.

“No,” she insisted. “It just with the history between you two and the issues we’ve had with him since you came back, I figured it was the last thing you would think I should be doing.”

I took a moment to roll the words I wanted to say around in my head, trying to come up with the best approach. I didn’t want to fight with her and I didn’t want her to feel bad for being here, but I did need to know something.

“Why did you come?” I asked.

“I’ve lain in bed night after night next to you, wishing Tyler would just let go and allow you to adopt Tori.” He eyes filled with tears. “Then I’d feel guilty thinking maybe if he could just straighten up and be a father to her, things would be different. It was like a vicious tug-of-war in my mind, and a few times I even found myself wishing he would just disappear because it would make our lives easier. Now I just feel guilty.”

“You don’t need to feel guilty,” I assured her. “It’s not like you haven’t tried over the years to get him to change. You’ve given him so many chances to step up and be a part of her life, but he chose the path he took, not you.”

A single tear fell down her cheek, and I wiped it away before kissing the trail it left and resting my forehead against hers.

“But baby, it’s more than just guilt,” I said. “It’s because you’re always thinking of others. That’s who you are, and it’s just one of the many reasons I love you so damn much.”

She only nodded as I pulled back and began leading her toward the waiting room, where Keegan still sat, looking completely lost. And my chest ached for him. Because Ben and Luke may not be my actual brothers, but they were close enough, and if I was in his shoes, I’d feel lost too.

“They’re not sure if he’ll regain feeling in his legs,” Nicole said as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

It had been three days since the accident. The truck had hit Tyler on his left side, and he suffered multiple injuries including damage to his liver and spleen, a collapsed lung, and possible unrepairable damage to his legs.

I could still tell Nicole felt torn about going to see him and worried how it would affect me. But I knew where her heart lay and I wasn’t concerned.

“How’s he taking the news?” I asked as I rolled over and held my hand out for her.

She accepted it and slid closer, tucking her body against mine. She inhaled deeply before letting her breath out slowly. “He’s withdrawn. Not really talking to anyone.” She was quiet for a moment. “He just stares out the window, completely lost in his own head.”

“I won’t pretend to understand what he’s going through. I’ve served with guys that suffered losses like this,” I tried my best to give her some reassurance. “I watched them go through the stages of recovery. But the depression was the hardest. But once they started to accept the changes they were about to face, they became themselves again. And the help from friends and those who cared about them was exactly what they needed too.”

“Ryker, I’m sorry. I just—”

“Baby, I’m not saying that because I need you to reassure me it isn’t anything more.” I rolled her onto her back and brushed the hair from her face. “I’m one hundred percent confident in our love. I also know you’re an amazing, compassionate person, and you being there for Tyler during this time is something he needs.”

“You’re okay with me visiting Tyler?” she asked.

I leaned in and placed a soft kiss to her lips. God, I loved this girl. “Nicole, I would be worried if you didn’t visit him. Because shutting out anyone you had a connection to would be a sure sign that the girl I fell in love with was no longer that same girl.” I kissed her once more, and she closed her eyes for a split second before looking back up at me. “And that, sweetheart, would be a shame.”

She just remained in the same position, staring up at me with an intense expression that made my heart race. “You are so good to me,” she whispered, and it felt like she’d gripped my heart and squeezed. “I love you more than I could ever truly explain.”

“Well, we could just spend the next fifty years trying to come up with a way to show each other the immensity of our love,” I added before I covered her body with mine.

“T
he baby isn’t Tyler’s,” Keegan said as he handed me a cup of coffee. “It’s mine.”

“What?” To say I was surprised would be an understatement.

“Tyler and Melanie were messing around months ago, and she wanted more but he didn’t,” he explained as we walked down the hall toward the elevators. “She and I started hanging out, and one thing led to another.”

“And voila, you’re gonna be a daddy,” I finished his story for him.

“Yeah.” He shrugged and pressed the Call button, then leaned against the wall next to the elevator.

“Just promise me something,” I said and waited for him to look at me. Once he did, I continued, “Promise that you’ll stand by her. And that you’ll be there for your child.”

He smiled and tilted his head to the side. “I told you Tyler and I were different, remember?”

“Yeah.” I offered him a smile in return. “But I thought that was just a line you were using to hit on me.”

He chuckled. “Well, I
was
using it to hit on you, but I meant it. And I plan on standing by Melanie’s side. Even if she and I don’t end up together, I’ll be there for my child.”

“That’s good,” I said just as the elevator doors slid open. “That’s real good.”

I stepped into the elevator and waited for Keegan to join me. Once he entered and the doors slid shut, he turned to me. “Tyler just wasn’t built to be a father. We both know that. I know he has a lot of regrets. But his self-doubt always outweighs everything else he feels.”

“I know.” Because I did. I’d watched that indecisiveness within him for years. It was in everything he did, but he hid it behind the cocky arrogance and anger he showed every day.

“So the wedding is soon—what, a week now?” Tyler asked, bringing my attention from the television back to him.

“Uh, yeah, well.” I cleared my throat. Never did I think I’d be sitting in the hospital room of the father of my child discussing my marriage to another man. “It’s five days away, actually.