Always Loving You (10 page)

Ava considered her answer for a moment before saying, “I’m going with son of a bitch, but I’m not confident enough to bet on it. Man-whore is a possibility if she keeps with her theme of the day.”

They made their way to the waiting room, stopping in surprise when they noticed it was bursting at the seams. Everyone seemed to stand at once when they walked in. Jason, Claire, Beth, Nick, Brant, Emma, and Gray stood looking at them in question. Suzy walked straight into her husband’s arms. “Hey, baby,” he murmured as he kissed her on the lips lightly.

Suzy reached back to hook her arm through Ava’s, pulling her to stand next to them. Ava fought the urge to gawk at the handsome man rubbing his hand absently up and down his wife’s back. Suzy gave Ava what could only be termed an impish grin before looking back at her husband. “So, baby, it looks like you hit the jackpot when you married me.”

Gray gave her an indulgent smile while simply saying, “Indeed I did. Any particular reason why you’re pointing that out right now?”

“Well,” Suzy began dramatically, “it appears that you’re now married to royalty. I’ve been named Queen of the Whores.” Multiple gasps were heard, before a chain reaction of laughter rippled through the room.

Ava had to give Gray credit for looking completely unruffled by Suzy’s statement. Instead he simply lifted an eyebrow and said, “That’s awesome, baby. Who bestowed that title on you?”

Suzy began telling Gray about Ella’s volley of insults. Ava cut in at times, sharing things that Suzy had missed.

“Oh my God.” Claire gulped. “Why was she so hung up on that word? I’ve never even heard her use it.”

Before anyone could answer, an older couple stepped into the room, and Beth whispered, “That’s probably where she got it. I think that was her mother’s favorite name for me not long ago.” Beth turned back toward the couple, putting on a bright but strained look of welcome. “Mr. and Mrs. Webber, how great to see you again.”

As everyone sat awkwardly, waiting for someone else to continue the conversation, Suzy stepped forward and threw an arm around each of Ella’s parents’ shoulders. “Ella is right down the hall in room 301. You should go right in and see her while you can. You’d better hurry!” Her parents turned back through the door and walked off in the direction that Suzy had indicated.

Beth howled with laughter. “You, dear sister, are bad, but I love it. I only hope Ella’s got a few more choice whore words left in her. Can you imagine her mother’s face if she says something like that to them? Priceless!” Ava remembered Declan telling her how Ella’s parents had hated him in the beginning along with all of Ella’s other friends. They had wanted their daughter to stay at home with them until they found someone for her who they felt was suitable husband material. Declan was the last man they wanted for their sweet Ella. In the end, though, Ella had shown them that she was strong enough to make her own decisions
and they’d grudgingly backed off. No doubt, though, they would blame Declan if Ella said anything even close to what she had thrown at her and Suzy. Oh well, her brother was a big boy and more than capable of taking care of himself and his wife if need be.

Ava had no idea what she hoped to accomplish here, but she found herself rooted to Mac’s doorstep at three a.m. What if he wasn’t alone? For all she knew, he and Gwen had worked things out. She shuffled from one foot to the other, indecision almost choking her as she debated returning to her car and leaving. She had taken a few steps backward when the porch light suddenly lit the area and the door opened. She blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden glare. “Ava?” Mac sounded surprised, clearly not expecting to see her standing there.

“Oh . . . yeah—hi,” she said lamely. She sounded like someone trying to sell Tupperware. Squeezing her eyes shut, she scrambled for something to say. Why was she here again? Oh yeah, that was right, she was now a glutton for punishment and couldn’t help herself.

When she opened her eyes, Mac seemed to be looking behind her as if seeking an answer to what was going on. Her eyes dropped from his face to the naked width of his chest. Oh, holy mother, all those muscles and that smooth skin, just inches away from her . . .
When she was able to continue her downward review, she saw that he was wearing only a pair of low-slung boxers that left very little to the imagination. He had the V and the happy trail of hair that every romance novel in the world paid homage to. Ava licked her suddenly dry lips when she noticed the impressive bulge beyond the waistband of his shorts. “Ava . . .
Ava
!”

Ava’s head jerked up and embarrassment flooded her at being caught ogling his assets. From the smirk on his face, he knew exactly what had been on her mind. “Mmm-hmm?”

“Why are you here? Is something wrong?” His surprise had now turned to concern as he studied her intently. He might be mad at her, but he still cared. She felt a little burst of hope. It wasn’t much, but she’d take any crumbs he threw out at this point.

“Ella had her baby,” she blurted out, finally remembering the reason behind her visit. Not having Mac at the hospital to share the moment had left a void inside her. Mac always came to family functions. He’d been an unofficial member of the family for so long. Brant had assured her that he’d let Mac know that Ella was in labor, but he had something come up and couldn’t make it.

Mac gave her a soft smile. “Yeah, I heard. A little girl.”

“Sofia Grace,” Ava added. Since Ella’s parents argued over which parent or grandparent the baby would be named after, Ella and Declan finally picked two completely neutral names. Her parents weren’t happy about it, but the decision was now officially inked and drying on the birth certificate.

Almost as if in reflex, Mac reached out to squeeze her shoulder. “That’s great. I’ll have to get by to see her tomorrow.”

Mac dropped his arm and they both stood staring at each other. “Mac, I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I miss you . . . so much.”

“Ava—don’t,” he said in a pained voice.

Hearing him sound so tormented was more than she could bear. Without thinking, she covered the short distance between them and wrapped her arms around his big, warm body. He stiffened against her hold, and she just knew he was going to pull away, so she clung tighter, trying to fuse her body with his. “Please, Mac, hold me. We need to get past this. I don’t know how to exist without you in my life.”

Just when she thought he would reject her, she felt a hand against her lower back, then another one curl around her neck. “Oh, Avie,” he whispered against the top of her head as he pulled her into him. “I don’t know what to do with you anymore,” he admitted in a shaky voice.

Her hands moved up and down his muscular back, awed at the sheer strength under her fingertips. She trailed kisses along his chest, loving the feel of him under her tongue. “Let me stay . . . Please, Mac . . . I need you.”

A growl rumbled against the back of his throat as his arms flexed around her. “Ava . . . God, don’t ask me that if you don’t mean it.”

She moved her arms up higher, locking them around his neck. She did a quick, internal check, noting that there were no signs of panic at being this close to a
man. Was it always meant to be Mac who finally helped her bury the horrors of her past? She stood on her tiptoes until she could rest her lips against his. She swiped her tongue across his full lower lip, causing him to moan in reaction. Still, he remained immobile, as if waiting to see what she would do next. His lips were parted slightly, allowing her to suck his bottom lip between her lips, nipping it lightly. “Ah . . . fucking hell,” he rasped as his hands dropped to her bottom and he pulled her up against him. Going completely on instinct, she used her hands around his neck as leverage to pull her body upward, wrapping her legs around his lean waist. His hands on her ass added support as he gripped her tightly. “Avie—oh, baby . . .”

In a whirlwind of movement, she founded herself on the other side of the door and holding on tightly as Mac nearly ran through the darkened hallways of his house until he reached the door of what she knew to be his bedroom. “If you’ve changed your mind, you need to say it, baby. I’ll stop at any time, but I’d prefer it to happen now . . . before I have you under me.”

In answer, she ground her lower body against the hard length pressing against her bottom. Locking her eyes with his, she said, “I don’t want to stop.” Then knowing it was okay to be vulnerable with Mac, she admitted, “Just tell me if I do something wrong.”

Mac dropped his forehead against hers, seeming to struggle for words. “Baby . . . there is no right or wrong. Just having your hands on me—finally—is enough to send me to heaven. We’ll take it slow and if anything doesn’t feel right, then we stop, okay?”

Nodding her head against his, she allowed herself the freedom to sprinkle kisses over his handsome face. Being this close to Mac was like discovering a lost Christmas present. She was both giddy with excitement and trembling with the anticipation of the unknown. “I . . . I want to touch you. Can I?”

With a grin, Mac set her gently onto her feet. “Of course, sweetheart. You never need to ask me that.” He pulled her into his bedroom, stopping at the bottom of his king-size bed. Spending as much time as they had together the last few years, they’d both been in each other’s home countless times. She’d been in his bedroom when he gave her the tour of his home and a few other times—well, a lot of times that he wasn’t aware of. Each time she used the restroom across the hall, she crept in here and imagined what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. To sleep in Mac’s arms each night without fear or hesitation. To be normal.

Now she was here, and it was finally happening. He stood still in front of her, with a hand on each side of her waist. In typical Mac style, he was waiting for her . . . always waiting for her, she thought as she reached a tentative hand to his chest, tracing the line of muscles there lightly. Only his increased breathing let her know how her touch affected him. When her exploring fingers reached the nub of his nipple, she tugged on it without thought, knowing how much pleasure she derived from doing the same thing to her own breasts. Mac moaned and his big body shifted from one foot to the other, but still he let her continue. Her hand seemed to have a mind of its own as instead
of journeying upward, toward his handsome face, it skirted slowly downward, tickling through the thin trail of hair on his lower stomach. At this point, she felt that they were both holding their breaths to see what she would do next. This was uncharted territory for her, and she was fascinated. Where was her usual fear of men? She had only gotten this close with Mark, and even then, she had been a mass of nerves before he even removed his shirt. Here she was going down Mac’s happy trail and getting pretty damn close to the impressive package that was tenting the front of his boxers. Did she dare go there?

Her fingernail scrapped his belly button, causing Mac to issue a muffled curse before she had the answer to her question. She was at the waistband of his boxers and this felt like some kind of sexually defining moment. As if sensing her conflict, Mac applied pressure to her hips, trying to ease her back. No, damn it, she wasn’t stepping away this time. Boldly, she dropped her hand suddenly and cupped him through his boxers. He froze and she quickly loosened her grip slightly on his hard length. She had been on the verge of trying to hoist his cock in the air while yelling, “I did it, I did it!” Yeah, dismembering Mac on their first time together might ruin things a bit. She was horrified when her crazy thoughts got the best of her and she started giggling. Maybe a large part of it was just stress relief from the nerves of finally being in this moment, but the timing was certainly less than perfect. “Oh God, I’m sorry,” she gasped out as her body continued to shake in laughter.

When Mac put his hand over hers, trying to pry her fingers loose, she realized that she was still gripping his cock while laughing like a loon. “Avie—baby, I’m really hoping there’s no connection between my dick and your attack of the giggles.”

Releasing his vulnerable flesh, she sagged against him as her laughter died off. Now mortification was starting to set in. How could she have ruined the moment like that? No man wanted to be laughed at during sex, did he? “I’m sorry,” she mumbled against his naked chest. “I don’t know what happened. I was just . . . so relieved that I was . . . you know . . . finally doing this, and then I pictured what would happen if I accidentally pulled your pecker off because I . . . you know . . . tried high-fiving with it . . . like a fist pump and shit. I sound like a nut job, don’t I? I need to just stop talking!”

Mac’s big chest rumbled under her cheek as he too finally found the humor in the situation. “Ah, baby,” he said, chuckling, “while parts of that explanation have my cock wanting to hide for its own safety, I get it.” Pulling back slightly, he stroked the curve of her face before wrapping his big hand around the nape of her neck. “I think this is a . . . major moment in your life. I’ve got you, though, Ava, and this only goes as far as you want it to. You want to hold my cock and laugh because you conquered your fears, then you fucking do it. Appreciate it if you left it intact, though.”

And, just that fast, her emotions jumped to the other end of the spectrum as tears threatened to choke her. Mac . . . her Mac. The man who got her, no matter how
crazy she sounded or acted. Her body should have always belonged to him—and only him. “Make love to me, Mac,” she whispered.

Those words sent her gentle giant into immediate action. He undressed her, worshipping every inch of new skin he exposed with his hands and his lips. When he had her down to just her tiny black lace bra and matching bikini underwear, he stepped back. She looked in surprise at his retreating back until he clicked on one of the bedside lights. She started to protest, feeling too exposed. “I’ve waited my whole life to see you, Avie; I need you to come out of the shadows for me.”

The new light in the room also allowed her to fully see the desire glimmering in his gaze and the unmistakable proof of his arousal straining against his shorts. Mac clearly thought she was beautiful, and in that moment, she finally saw herself through his eyes. Years of shame and revulsion started falling away as she drew strength from him. With less than steady hands, she reached for the front clasp of her bra. She needed to do this, she needed to show him that she could do anything for him . . . she could be strong for him—only him.

Her heavy breasts bounced slightly as she released them from the lace material. Mac stayed locked into place, appearing completely riveted as she dropped the scrap of fabric before lowering her hands to the waistband of her panties. This part was a little harder, but she took a calming breath before lowering her last piece of clothing to the floor and stepping out of it.
Oh God, what now?
she thought while Mac stood staring at her.
She fought the urge to cross her arms over her breasts as she continued to wait . . . and wait. Was she supposed to do something else? Had he changed his mind? Insecurity rose to choke her as her bravado began to falter. She looked at him pleadingly. The fire was still there, burning in his eyes, but his jaw had gone slack, and he was clasping and unclasping his hands in an uncharacteristically nervous gesture. Mac was one of the most confident men she had ever met, even as a teenager. If he was suddenly acting so skittish, there could only be one reason. He didn’t want her after all, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She started backing away, not sure where she was going without her clothes, but she had to get out of this room.

Her actions seemed to break Mac out of his temporary coma, and he lurched forward. “Oh, baby, fuck—wait!”

“Mac, it’s okay,” she said, turning her face away. “I shouldn’t have put you on the spot. I know I’m not sexy and I don’t have a big—butt like Gwen.” She was trying to disengage her wrist from his tight grip as she continued to inch away. “We can still be friends. I . . . I’ll pretend this didn’t happen . . . Just, this never happened, right?”

“The hell you will,” Mac roared as he stopped her hasty exit by anchoring her body to his. “What’re you doing? Baby, why would you possibly believe you aren’t the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen, and why in the world would you mention Gwen’s ass?” He seemed genuinely perplexed by his last question.

As she did so often when she was nervous, she
started stuttering. “I . . . well, I took off my clothes . . . but you . . . I mean, you didn’t . . . do anything. Gwen, G-lo . . . Emma said . . . you like big butts.”

“Whoa,” Mac said, pulling back slightly to take her face between his hands. He kissed the tip of her nose, looking as though he was biting back a grin. “First off, I’ve dreamed of you naked for so damn long that the sight of you in the flesh was something I had to stop and appreciate. Not to mention, if I had touched you immediately, I’d probably have disgraced myself by blowing my load before even removing my boxers.” As he pushed his hips into hers, she felt him, hard as steel, and sucked in a breath. “That’s right, baby, and I’m still close to that line. As for Gwen, Emma, or whoever, the only ass I’m interested in is the one that I’m fixing to fill my hands with. “I should have told you that Gwen and I are no longer seeing each other, but you, um . . . distracted me. It’s just you and me, Avie. there is no one else in this bedroom but us, baby, hear me?”