Always My Hero (8 page)

They’d made plans to meet at her place after Wesley fell asleep. His son knew he would be right next door if he needed him. But that wasn’t likely. So it would be just the two of them. Ryan wiped his palms on his jeans, blew out a shaky breath, and tapped lightly at Bree’s door. He didn’t get where these stupid nerves were coming from. It wasn’t like this was a date or anything.

She answered the door in a pretty pink sweater and long flowing black skirt. Ryan liked how she dressed now, as opposed to when they were in high school. Back then she’d opted for huge shirts that she’d had to have bought in the men’s department. Shapeless outfits that, knowing Bree, were designed to hide her body rather than display it.

At least now she dressed femininely, even if she did still hide that sexy, lithe body of hers behind long skirts. The woman had legs like a dancer. It seemed a crime not to show them off.

He liked that she’d gotten contacts. Not that she hadn’t looked adorable in glasses, but he’d always loved her caramel-colored eyes and was pleased that he could see them better now. Shaking his head, Ryan wondered why he was spending so much time studying the way Bree looked.

Steering him past the cozy living room that was an exact replica of the one he and Wesley shared next door, she waved him across the hall, toward the kitchen table. He stopped and blinked. It was like stepping back in time. A stack of books and homemade flash cards waited for him on the table. Just like their old tutoring sessions. He wondered if she remembered how his mother had always served them homemade cookies and a tall glass of milk.

“Are you going to make me earn my cookies?”

Bree’s tutoring strategy had relied on a healthy dose of bribery. His mom would set the plate of cookies down and Bree would snatch it away, doling out cookies with each right answer. As they’d gotten to know each other and their relationship began to change, this wasn’t a bribery tactic, so much as it was pure flirtation. If he knew his parents weren’t paying attention, he would eat the cookie right out of her fingers.

“I thought of that just before you got here.” She blushed and he could see she was remembering how he’d nibble on her fingers. “Sorry, I don’t have any cookies. But I do have Kisses. You can earn those instead.”

Fire shot through his body, making him rock hard in an instant. Choking down a groan, he hobbled to the table before she could see how her words had affected him.

“I beg your pardon?” he croaked out.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake! Hershey Kisses? Chocolate? Not all women are as adept at baking as your mother.” She set a bowl of the foil wrapped candies on the table and slid into the chair across from him.

Unsure whether her pink cheeks were from embarrassment or mutual attraction, Ryan hoped for the latter. He’d spent years trying to forget the one night they’d been together and now the more time he spent with her, the more he couldn’t stop thinking about it. But that wasn’t why he was here.
Focus, buddy!

“I can’t thank you enough for tutoring me … again. Wes wanted to know why I was coming over here tonight, wanted to know why he couldn’t come with me. If we could just keep this between ourselves?”

“Of course. I think Wes would feel awkward if he knew the lengths you were going to in order to connect. He’s a very lucky kid.”

“No, I’m a lucky dad. I can’t imagine my life without him in it.”

A look of intense pain crossed Bree’s features so swiftly that he almost second-guessed whether he’d actually seen it. Guilt clenched his gut. He knew she’d been expecting him to leave Haley after they’d admitted their feelings for one another. He’d wanted to. God, he’d wanted to. And then his son, who reminded him so much of Bree, might have actually been hers. Regrets? Yeah, he had a few thousand.

Seriously, dude! Focus already.

Bree reached for a book and began to give him an abbreviated version of the first year of Harry Potter’s life at Hogwarts. She quickly explained that he couldn’t hope to keep up his end of a conversation with Wesley by cheating and watching the films. She caught his eye at this point, showing him without words that she knew him better than he thought.

As he learned the characters and who held what role, Ryan was rewarded with a Kiss, tossed across the table. Never mind that he would have preferred the skin-to-skin version. Spending time with Bree was a reward in itself. They got through the first book and she insisted they take a break for the night.

“How about I make coffee?”

Since he wasn’t quite ready to leave her company, he nodded.

“If you’ve got decaf, I’d love some.”

Ryan got up and wandered around while she prepared their drinks. The cheap little desk in the living room held a small laptop. She hadn’t bothered to close it, so he figured he wasn’t exactly snooping by checking out what was on the screen. He chuckled to himself.

“You’re still trying to get on
Jeopardy
. That’s awesome. When the time comes, you better tell me. I fully intend to be in the audience to watch you become the next Ken Jennings.” He was proud of her, regardless.

“I don’t know. I think it’s time to admit I’ll never be
Jeopardy
material. If I haven’t made it on there by now, then I probably never will.” She stepped up beside him, handing him one of the mugs she’d carried in with her.

“Promise me you won’t ever give up. Your time will come.”

Ryan waited to see where Bree would settle, hoping she’d choose the couch where he could sit beside her. She looked at it, then perched herself in the overstuffed chair in the corner. He didn’t realize his sigh was audible until she looked up sharply and raised one brow, quizzically. Whoops.

“Can I ask you a question?” He sat down in the center of the couch, cupping his mug in his palms.

“Fire away.”

“Why didn’t you become a teacher? You used to talk about it all the time. It was why you began tutoring. My mom said you quit school to help your mom. But surely you could have just taken a little time off?”

Bree glanced away.

“It didn’t fit in with my plans anymore. My mom needed me. My stepdad was gone. The boys needed me. I had to find a job where I could get all my training online.”

“While still being able to work with kids,” he added.

“A happy coincidence.”

“You would have made an excellent teacher. You still could.”

“I like where I am now. It’s satisfying.”

“Recruiting men to pose for your calendar—shirtless,” Ryan teased.

“Never a dull moment, huh?” She took a sip of coffee and leaned back into the cushions.

“I’ve missed you, Bree.”

Huh. It would appear that something as simple as decaf coffee had the power to loosen his tongue tonight.

“My turn. Can I ask you a question?”

“Don’t hold back.” He watched her over the rim of his mug.

“Why numbers? Why accounting? As I recall, you and numbers didn’t get along.”

Because it reminded him of her. He couldn’t tell her that, though.

“People change, I guess. And as far as a backup career, it seemed as good as any.”

“I suppose. But you didn’t have to abandon sports altogether. You could have become a coach. Or gone into sports medicine. Or announcing.” Oh, she was just getting warmed up. He could tell.

“After my accident, I felt like a fraud just thinking about anything sports related, you know?” He had never admitted that to anyone.

“Never too late to change your mind.”

“Fair enough, Ms. Librarian. Fair enough.” He drained the last of his coffee and set the mug on the coffee table. “It’s late. I should let you get some sleep.”

“Can I stop by the store in the next couple of days? You said you had some names of other guys that might want to help with the calendar?” She stood up from her chair, looked as though she might sit back down again and then thought better of it. Though she acted twitchy because she was anxious for him to leave or because she wished he would stay, Ryan couldn’t be certain.

“I open at nine. Stop in any time after that. We’ll put our heads together and come up with some detailed lists to get us started.”

“Great. I’ll make up for the lack of cookies tonight and bring you something from Cady’s Dream. What do you like?”

Oh, there was a loaded question, if ever he’d heard one. He shook the naughty thoughts that were beginning to form from his head.

“I’m not picky. Anything you bring, I’ll love.”

They stood at the front door. Ryan put one hand on the doorknob but turned back to say one last goodnight.

“I meant what I said before. I’ve missed you.”

She was so close. If he leaned in just a little ...

“I’ve missed you too, Ryan.”

His name on her lips was all the encouragement he needed. He let go of the doorknob to cup a hand behind the back of her head. If she told him no, he’d stop. Instead, her eyelids fluttered shut and her head angled just enough to show him she had no intention of stopping him.

A low groan rumbling deep in his throat, he captured her mouth in a soul-stealing kiss. Shocked that he could still remember how she tasted after all this time, Ryan held on tight. Feelings he’d denied for thirteen years came flooding back. Love. Pain. Guilt. Regret. So much regret. He crushed her to him, wishing like hell that he could go back and make different choices. Choices that included Bree, that didn’t push her away.

He felt the searing touch of her fingertips on his shoulders as a brand. Slowly they crept up to wrap around his neck, her deft fingers sliding into his hair to drive him crazy with need. Pivoting their bodies, he pushed her up against the door and released her mouth to trail hot kisses along her jaw, feasting on her sensitive neck.

His Bree.

“We should stop.” Her voice was husky.

He couldn’t get close enough. Her hands were grasping at his. Tangling their fingers together.

“Ryan, you need to leave.”

Understanding finally reached through his sex-addled brain. Trembling, he put his hands on either side of her, pushing himself just far enough away so that they were no longer touching. His heart beat erratically. He was breathing like he’d run a marathon.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t ... ” She placed a finger against his lips and shook her head.

“Don’t ruin a perfectly wonderful moment with an apology. Please. I’ll see you soon.” Slipping out of his arms, Bree backed up until she was a safe distance down the hall.

He searched her expression, worried he’d scared her by coming on so strong. Her cheeks were flushed, but her eyes sparkled and her lips tilted just a bit at the edges. He realized that she had moved away not just from him, but from her own reactions.
Take it slow, Pettridge. Don’t mess it up this time.
Fumbling for the doorknob, he welcomed the bite of cold that slapped him in the face as he hurried to his own place.

• • •

“The secret to having confidence is knowing you look good
under
your clothes.” Cady held up a barely there red lace bra.

Bree shook her head, still amazed that she’d let herself be dragged into a Victoria’s Secret, of all places. But she was with the two women from Scallop Shores that she felt the most comfortable around. Cady had been pushing her to step outside of her introvert bubble for years now, worming her way into Bree’s heart along the way. She could also thank Cady for her more recent friendship with Quinn. She probably wouldn’t be so close to Quinn if Cady hadn’t insisted on them sharing a table at the bakery and getting to know one another when Quinn had first come back to town.

“It’s like walking around with a happy little secret all day.” Quinn snatched the matching panties off the display table and stretched them out between her hands, wiggling them in front of Bree.

A happy little secret. She sighed. She’d been walking around with her own happy little secret all day. She was supposed to be enjoying some girl time but it was awfully hard to concentrate when she kept replaying Ryan’s kiss over and over in her head.

“Yeah. Happy. Little. Secrets.” Cady drew out each word as she leaned in close to Bree’s ear.

“Spill it, sister. You know you want to.” Quinn nudged her shoulder as she crowded in on the other side of her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bree stuttered.

“Like we haven’t noticed you floating around in a daze. Give us a little credit, Bree. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Oh, is it Foster? I heard you’d finally gone out with him.” Quinn’s eyes danced with merriment.

“Catch up, Quinn. Foster was ages ago. And Foster never put that rosy glow in her cheeks.” Cady grabbed her arm and dragged her over to a bench near the changing rooms.

Bree chewed her new lipstick off her bottom lip. She wasn’t used to wearing it anyway. She wasn’t used to any of this. Spending quality girl time. Getting a new haircut and having her makeup done professionally. Now shopping for clothes and lingerie to complete the new look. This was all uncharted territory for her.

But she had to admit that she was having a lot of fun. And it felt good to know she could talk to her friends about Ryan. It gave her hope that maybe one day she could open up about the baby she’d lost. That particular secret was a heavy emotional burden to carry all by herself. And if she were truly moving on with her life, the next best step would be to let someone else in on what happened all those years ago.

“It’s no big deal, really.”

Or it shouldn’t be. He was only in town for a short while. He’d made it clear that he had no intention of staying. Best not to make any more of this than it was.

“Bree, no offense, love, but no man has put a smile like that on your face in the entire time I have known you.” Cady’s expression was matter of fact.

“Just don’t make a fuss over it. Okay?” She paused, staring them each down before continuing. “You know the duplex I rented over on Ramsdell Way? Ryan Pettridge and his son have moved into the other half.”

“You slept with Ryan Pettridge?” Cady gasped.

Bree cringed. Even though they were in a Victoria’s Secret in the mall two towns over from Scallop Shores, she didn’t want her business broadcast for perfect strangers to overhear. When a few heads turned at this line of questioning, she clamped her mouth shut and glared at Cady. Standing up, she gathered a couple of bras, panties, and a long silk sheath and made like she was going to try them on. Hitching her head to the right, she indicated that the women should follow her into one of the dressing rooms.