Always with You (WIth You Trilogy) (4 page)

“You’re not allowed to touch yourself, Jamie,” Jason warned, the side of his lips quirking up slightly.

I nodded. “I know. I figured either you’ll step in and save me, or you’ll have to punish me and we both know how that will end. Either way, I get what I want.”

“Jamie,” he groaned. “You’re killing me here.”

I smirked at the look of pure desire on his face. I could see he was battling hard with his conscience and I knew I’d won. He sighed as he pushed away from the bed and gave into me.

“I’ve created a monster,” he whisper
ed as he pushed himself over me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he lowered himself into me gently.

I grinned broadly at my victory and closed my eyes to enjoy every second of our intimate minutes together. There was nothing in the celestial world that could top the feelings that overwhelmed my senses w
hen Jason and I merged into one. I wouldn’t be denied those blissful moments for anything.

Monday, 1st July 2013

I couldn’t help thinking that this was the most beautiful moment I had ever experienced.
It was easy to forget all the stress and anxiety in my life over the past few weeks whilst I held the little bundle of soft cotton in my arms and cherished her every detail. The soft feel of her skin, her thick black lashes, the delicate smell of new-born life. There were no words to describe how my little niece smelt, the closest word I could think of was pink. She smelt pink. Pink and beautiful. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Karl and Elise had been staying at the house almost constantly
over the last week or so. We’d all been awakened by screams of pure terror. If I hadn’t been so sleepy from being woken up at four in the morning, I would have been amused to see Karl running around like a headless chicken looking absolutely terrified.

“Craig Carter you are not delivering this baby!” She’d been yelling as I darted into her room to find out what all the fuss was about.

“I’m not trying to, Elise,” he reassured her, calm as usual. “Just let me-”

She cut him off with a scream and hit him on the arm. I bit back a smile as I saw him wince. Craig was wincing from being hit by a girl.

“Will all of you just stop coddling me and get me to the hospital,” she said calmly.

I shook my head as I watched my brothers falling over each other trying to remember what car keys were, where one might keep them, and what should be done with car keys once they were located. My brothers were usually
fantastically organised, but clearly not so much in the presence of a woman with her waters broken.

I’d felt a brief wave of anxiety as I stepped closer to Elise to help her but I’d quashed it because she was so strong. Even as she went into labour, she
’d had the strength to whip my brothers into line.

All the panic at the house had been worth it. The past hour in the hospital had been so serene. My little niece had come to us with a smile. She had the Carter blue eyes, but they burned with her mother’s fiery personality. I liked her already.

“Give me back my daughter,” Karl demanded cheerfully.

I’d been the last to hold her and
, as she was passed around, I’d seen Karl growing more and more restless with every second he couldn’t hold her in his arms. I was reluctant to let her go but I could see how much Karl needed to hold her.

“Come on Grace, your Daddy wants a cuddle,” I cooed happily to the little girl curled up asleep in my arms.

I saw Karl’s eyes light up as he heard the word Daddy. He looked so comfortable and at ease holding his daughter, but that shouldn’t have been a surprise. He’d been almost eleven when I was born and I knew he and Ian took as much care of me as Dad had done. The way he held her was so amazing to see. He held her so gently, so lovingly, as though she was the most precious thing in the world to him and I suspected that, next to her mother, she probably was.

“Grace Helen Carter,” Elise’s mother smiled happily f
rom her bedside. “I like it. It is the name of a free spirit.”

My brothers all suppressed smirks at her remark.
They’d never quite seen eye-to-eye with her worldviews.

“It’s a beautiful name,” I added quietly so that she knew that at least one of us was listening.

It was a beautiful name. They’d asked if any of us would mind if they gave Grace our mum’s name and nobody had minded. It somehow seemed right.

Jason and I hung around for a few more days so we could be there to wish the twi
ns a happy birthday and be close in case Elise and Karl needed anything. They were fine though. They were managing perfectly and I figured it was good for them to be a family for a while. They needed to learn their own routines and patterns.

We couldn’t stay there forever. We needed to get my stuff moved into the new house and the contract for student halls was due to expire on the seventh so we had to go up the day before.

“We leave at five,” Ian frowned, watching me packing the last of my stuff into my bag.

“Is that really necessary, Ian?” I asked, cringing because I
hated the idea that everyone would have to get up early because of me.

“There’ll be less traffic on the road,” he
nodded.

I knew there was more that he wasn’t saying but I didn’t push it. I wasn’t looking forward to getting up so early but I figured I could just sleep in the car. I felt a bit guilty that my brothers would have to get up early
but I’d find a way to make it up to them.

Elise brought Grace over so that I could spoil her with cuddles before we went back to Leeds. I almost had to fight with my brothers to be allowed to spend any time with her and I could tell they all adored her. That girl was going to be spoilt.

“You’re really good with kids,” Jason smiled uncertainly at me when we finally got a minute alone.

“I love children,” I smiled. “Don’t you?”

He shrugged noncommittally and I felt my heart sink a little. I already knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Jason, even though I knew I wasn’t ready for the rest of my life to start just yet. I had always pictured myself as part of a traditional Carter family with at least four children running around and causing havoc. I wanted my children to have what I had; siblings who would always be there for one another. The idea that Jason didn’t share that dream cut me deep to the soul.

“You don’t see yourself with kids one day?” I asked, trying hard to keep the hurt from my voice.

Jason shrugged again and refused to meet my eye. I wanted to confront him, wanted to get him to open up to me, but I knew he wasn’t ready. I could see that he wasn’t. I sighed inwardly and closed my eyes a second so that I wouldn’t push him. It hurt that there were still some things he couldn’t talk to me about but I knew that he would open up one day. I just had to give him time.

“Five o’clock! Really, Jelly?” Danny groaned, bursting into the kitchen as I put the tea and coffee cups in the dishwasher.

“Sorry,” I pouted. “Ian’s decision.”

He sighed loudly,
putting me into a loose headlock and wrestling me away from the dishwasher.

“Danny!” I protested.

“It’s my day off and you’re making me get up before five!” He moaned, tightening his grip so that he could hold me in place whilst he poked me in the ribs. I could hear that he was grinning so I wasn’t too worried.

“Sorry,” I cringed, squealing as he poked me extra hard. “Let me go!”

“Nope!” He declared. “Not until you tell me how you’re going to make it up to me.”

I was just contemplating whether it was worth using my self-defence lessons to get him off me or attempting to placate him with promises of food when I felt him release me.

I grinned as I straightened up but it turned to a frown when I saw that Jason had pulled him off me.

“We were just messing, Jason,” I smiled. “He wasn’t hurting me.”

“Lighten up, loverboy,” Danny grinned, putting Jason in a headlock instead.

I wasn’t sure how Jason was going to react. I could tell Danny was just messing around. He was treating Jason like he was part of the family and that was huge for me. I sent up a silent prayer that Jason wouldn’t see it as an act of hostility.

“Man, you need to use deodorant,” Jason grinned, twisting Danny’s arm around and pinning him down to the island.

“It’s called musk, dude. Pheromones and shit. The ladies love it,” Danny
insisted, shrugging Jason off him.

“Whatever,” Jason laughed. “Don’t be so rough with Jamie.”

“She can handle it,” Danny grinned proudly. “I’ll bet you anything she was five seconds away from attempting to floor me.”

“Attempting?” I scowled.

“Yes, Jellybean. Attempting,” he nodded.

I scowled at him some more for good measure but decided not to argue with him because I was so happy about the seemingly insignificant exchange that had just happened between him and Jason.

“Actually, I was going to offer to bake you a cake tomorrow as a thank-you for getting up early.”

“Cake?” H
is eyes lit up.

“Did I hear cake?” Rick joined us, looking equally excited
as he practically sprinted in my direction.

“That was
before
Danny mocked my fighting skills,” I pouted grumpily.

“Please, Jelly!” They pleaded.

“What’s in it for me?” I teased. I was going to make them a cake anyway as a thank-you for helping me move but I figured I might as well torture them a bit first.

“We’ll wear name badges all day so that Jason doesn’t keep mixing us up?” Danny offered

I scoffed and shook my head.

“I never mix you up,” Jason frowned. “You’re Jake and you’re Matt, right?”
He pointed to each of them in turn.

I laughed and squeezed Jason’s hand happily whilst watching the twins sulk. He was right. He never mixed them up. As far as I could tell, he’d gotten their names right every time, which was no mean feat.

“Victoria sponge cake?” I asked, taking pity on them.

They both nodded enthusiastically and I smiled before hugging them good night.

Saturday, 6th July 2013

Adam and I grinned at each other over the mountain of boxes that we’d placed in the lounge. We’d spoken with Eric and Bradley before we left Leeds at the end of the academic year. We knew they weren’t able to come back in time to make the move so we’d agreed to move all their stuff as well. They’d boxed it all up and labelled it before leaving us their room keys.

I smiled around happily as I looked at what would be my home for the next year. It was small but not as small as the halls we’d been living in. We each had our own bedroom with a lock and there were two bathrooms. Onl
y one of the bedrooms had an en-suite and all of the guys had insisted I should have that room so that I didn’t have to worry about showering and stuff, not that I minded. It seemed to placate Jason and my brothers somewhat though.

“That’s the last of it,” Matt announced, bringing in a box from the small lorry we’d hired.

“Thanks, Matt,” I smiled appreciatively.

They set about carting off boxes to the rooms of their respective owners.
Deciding that the kitchen was priority number one, I started unloading all of our pots, pans, and plates.

The kitchen was my favourite part of our new house. It was a little smaller than the one we’d shared the year before, but there were only four of us and this one was much cosier. Instead of hard
, plastic chairs, we now had clean and fresh pine ones with cushioned seats. It was both practical and homely, and the fact that it served as both a kitchen and a dining room made me smile as I imagined preparing and eating dinner together with the guys.

I kne
w the boys could be a bit messy but I also knew that I could tell them to move their junk, or clean up their mess without them taking offense. I didn’t mind cleaning up after them a little because they’d already proven they were great company.

An
advantage to having lots of brothers was that they made fantastic moving men. We’d finished packing all the boxes into the lorry before the letting offices even opened at nine. Jason and I had invited Adam and taken them all to McDonald’s for breakfast until we could fetch the keys for our house.

Our new landlord had given me an amused look as I came into their office
s. My brothers had all insisted on meeting him. I suspected they wanted to make sure he was running a legitimate business and not some creepy old dude who would have installed cameras in his tenants’ bedrooms.

I smiled apologetically as Adam and I signed for our new house keys.

“Starting the moving-in party already?” The landlord, asked with a smile that only looked half-sincere.

“No,” I frowned in confusion. “These are my brothers.”

“All of them?” He raised a bushy eyebrow.

“All except these two,” I grinned and pointed to Adam and Jason.

“Five brothers?” He did a quick head count.

“Seven,” I corrected him. Karl was with his family and Jake was heading to Newcastle today, although I made him
promise we’d see each other sometime soon because I felt like there were still a few bridges that needed mending and I didn’t want to lose the relationship we’d just gotten back because of the geographical distance between us.

It struck me that I’d just, for the first time, told somebody I had seven brothers. It wasn’t that I didn’t th
ink of Matt as a brother, I did – he’d been there for all of us – but until recently, I hadn’t realised he saw me as a sister. It would have felt weird claiming he was my brother if it was one sided.

I think Matt noticed a
s well because he gave me a one-armed hug on our way out towards the lorry. He’d been in a pretty good mood since then and it made me happy to see him cheered up. He hadn’t handled the kidnapping well. I think he found it hard to be around me because he didn’t know what to say or do.

“Where’s your toaster?” Ian demanded once I’d finished unpacking the kitchen boxes.

“I don’t think any of us have one,” I shrugged.

The kitchen in our old flat had been equipped with the basics. I figured we could go without for a while, or at least until the next student loan payment came in.

“What about your kettle?” He frowned.

I shrugged
again. “We can boil water in a pan for now.”

“That’s not good enough, Jelly,” Ian sighed, massaging his temples.

“Sorry,” I frowned, not really sure what he was complaining about.

I saw Jason raising his eyebrow in amusement as he leant against the worktop behind Ian.

“Jelly, you can’t live like this,” Ian said in disgust.

I
glared at him. He was making it sound like I was living in a hole. I loved our little house.

“We were gonna get that stuff when Eric and Bradley got back,” Adam shrugged. “That way we can split the cost.”

“You struggling for money, Jelly?” Ian accosted me.

“No!” I answered quickly, horrified that he thought I might
have been. “I have enough money, honest.”

He eyed me
suspiciously. “Okay, but you’d tell us if you needed some, right?”

“I don’t want you guys to have to pay for stuff for me, Ian,” I frowned.

He gave me one of his trademark looks and I looked down to my feet lest I burst into flames.

“Good,” he nodded, clearly happy that I’d stopped answering back. “I’ll take Matt and go and get you a kettle and stuff.”

“Ian!” I frowned. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he shrugged. “That’s what family’s for, Jelly. You and Adam should have the basic crap.”

I saw Adam smiling and looking awkward as he hovered by Jason’s side. I suspected nobody had ever treated him like a part of the family before and the fact that Ian viewed him as such almost had me keeping quiet and letting this slide. Almost.

“I’ve cost you enough already,” I mumbled quietly.

“Cut that shit out, Jelly,” Matt scowled.

I clamped my mouth shut immediately because Matt looked genuinely pissed off.

“That’s enough,” Ian nodded in agreement. “If you really wanna kick up a fuss, I’ll raid the stash under your bed once I get home,” he grinned.

I just gaped at him because that was my secret. My well-hidd
en secret. Well-hidden as in stashed under the bed in an inconspicuous jar. It was where I’d put every penny of money my brothers had ever given me until they day I moved out.

I saw Jason look at me quizzically as if he thought I might be hiding Playgirl magazines under
my bed.

“You know about that?” I asked
in surprise.

Ian raised his eyebrow and smiled a cocky smile.
Of course
,
Ian knows everything
.

I sighed resolutely and traced the tiled floor with my toe. “There’s only about fifty
pounds in there, Ian. It won’t be enough.”

Ian laughed. “Jelly, there’s over six hundred in that jar.”

“What?” I recoiled in shock and raised my eyes to meet his.

“Jelly has six hundred quid under her bed?” Matt laughed.

“It’s a fairly small jar, Ian,” I frowned.

“I’ve been changing out the notes for fifties since you were ten, Jelly,” Ian shook his head in amusement.

I frowned. I’d never actually bothered to look in there. I just shoved money in every time I got it. I figured I could give it all back to them at some point so I wouldn’t feel so guilty.

“That’s not my money,” I mumbled.

Ian rolled his eyes at me and kissed me on the forehead before pulling his car keys out of his pocket. He grabbed Matt and made for the door.

“We’ll pick up some food,” he announced. “Anything in particular you want, Adam?”

“Eh, no thanks. You don’t have to get me anything,” Adam answered awkwardly.

“Nonsense,” Ian shook his head.

“But-”

“Argue and I’ll
ban Jelly from cooking for you,” Ian warned with a grin. “You like Nutella, right?”

“Eh, yeah. Thanks,” Adam nodded dumbly.

“Your brothers are awesome, Jelly,” Adam grinned at me once they’d left.

I gawked at him a little because I was still blown away by what had just happened. Ian knew about my stash and had done for years.
Why didn’t he ever say anything?

“They’re not so bad, I guess,” Jason
smirked, coming over to hug me. “You okay, little squirrel?”

“I’m not a kid any
more,” I grumbled. “They shouldn’t have to pay for everything.”

“They just want to look after you, Jamie,” Jason said gently, brushing my cheek with his finger. “I’d do the same for, Ben,” he added when he saw me pouting.

“All I do is take from them,” I complained, letting my forehead rest against Jason’s chest.

“That’s not true
,” Jason shook his head.

“He’s right,” Danny agreed, entering
the kitchen with his twin and some empty boxes. “You bake us cakes.”

“I can’t yet,” I cringed
apologetically. “We don’t have any food.”

“Jelly!” Rick groaned. “I’m hungry!”

“Sorry,” I pouted, removing myself from Jason so I could give the big cry-baby a hug.

“A hug won’t fill my belly, Jelly,” he grinned, clearly proud of his rhyming skills.

“We can nip to the corner shop and get the stuff?” Adam offered.

Rick proved that all it took to win him over was food by giving Adam a semi-painful looking man-hug.

“We like this one, Jelly,” Danny grinned, wrapping his arm around Adam so that the poor guy was trapped between them. “Why couldn’t you date this one?”

Jason scowled at them both and I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“He doesn’t have any tattoos,” I shrugged, trying my very best not to smile and failing miserably.

“Maybe you just haven’t seen them, yet?” Adam grinned.

“Yet?” Jason frowned. “I like you, Adam, but that doesn’t mean I won’t remove your limbs and shave off your eyebrows.”

“
Duly noted,” Adam laughed.

It was nice to see Adam so happy. Things hadn’t worked out with Laura, despite an abundance of
romantic gestures on his part. Although I was sad for Adam’s sake, I sort of understood Laura’s hesitance. It was hard to build a relationship without trust.

Adam
had been pretty down about it but he figured he obviously wasn’t mature enough for a proper relationship yet and had gone back to his old ways.

“Less bickering, more food fetching!” Danny demanded petulantly
, still focussed on his empty stomach.

The twins seemed much happier once the cake was in the oven, although that was probably because Adam bought them a chocolate bar each to keep them quiet. He had them pretty well figured out.

“Where’s my chocolate bar?” Craig complained.

“Sorry,” Adam frowned apologetically. “I got one for everyone but they got there first.” He motioned to the twins who were both guarding a pile of chocolate is if their lives depended on it.

“You could try sharing?” Jason shook his head at them despairingly.

“Don’t bother, Jason,” I grinned. “I learnt early on that they’d rather donate a kidney than share food.”

“You need food to live, Jelly,” Rick said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You need kidneys too,” Craig mumbled, opening the door of our empty fridge and then shutting it again just so he could open it one more time to make sure he hadn’t missed anything.

“Good to know that medical degree is paying off,” Danny quipped.

I saw Craig scowl and decided that
it would be a good time to ask him about his upcoming title fight. He relaxed almost instantaneously and I congratulated myself on negotiating away from a possible sibling dispute.

I got Craig and Jason to help me with whisking the cream and organising the cupboards whilst Adam and the twins played some weird variation of finger football with a Kit Kat wrapper.

“Cake!” Rick declared happily, letting Adam score a goal once he saw me opening the oven to remove the cake.

“It has to cool first
,” I reminded him, putting myself between him and the still very hot cake.

“Jelly, I have no qualms about going through you to get to that cake,” Rick
threatened.

“Rick,” Jason warned, stepping to my side.

“I’m Rick,” Danny protested, joining the cake-based face-off. It may have seemed like a childish thing to do but I knew he was really just trying to make sure we didn’t argue. The twins did it all the time to try and stop family fights.

“Nice try,” Jason grinned. “But Rick’s taller than you are.”

I smirked at Jason as the twins started bickering amongst themselves and enlisted Craig’s help to usher them out of the room so they could continue their argument away from sharp objects.