Always You: A Lilac Bay Novel (Friends with Benefits) (25 page)

And no Andrew.

It was strange. A few months ago I was so upset about the failed tourism campaign, so convinced that getting on the show would turn everything around. And now, we’d done it. We’d been on TV. Our tourist numbers had skyrocketed. The mayor’s office had received three new requests to begin planning hotels from mainland developers. We’d come a long way since April, and a lot of it was my doing.

So why did I feel so much worse now than I did before?

I flipped through the mail as I scratched Gordie behind the ears, pausing when an actual letter appeared between the bills and credit card offers. The handwriting was familiar, and I flipped the envelope over to see a Grand Rapids return address on the back.

My fingers were shaking as I opened the letter. It was short—barely half a page. I took a deep breath and read.

R
iley
,

I can only imagine what you must think of me. I don’t blame you for it. I’ve been awful. I don’t think I even understand quite how bad. A lot of what happens when I’m drinking is a blur to me. That’s not an excuse, just an acknowledgment that my behavior has probably been much worse than I even know. I can’t ask you to forgive me. I don’t deserve that. But I do need you to know that nothing that has happened has been your fault. You’ve taken wonderful care of your little sister and I’ll always be thankful to you for that. I know your father would be too. You’re so much like him, Riley. I think that’s why it’s been so hard for me to see you. I want to thank you for looking out for me even when I didn’t deserve it. I hope that now you’ll take some time to look after yourself. The work you’ve done for the island is really something. I’m proud of you. I won’t make you promises, Riley. That’s not fair. But I’m going to work very hard. And I hope a day will come when we’ll be able to sit down and really talk. Until then, please take care of yourself. Be happy. You deserve it.

Mom

I
held
the envelope in my hands for a long time, waiting for tears to come. None did. As far as apologies went, it wasn’t the best. But she had been honest. And maybe, right now, that was all I could ask for.

When my phone rang a moment later, I picked it up without checking the screen, my mind a few hundred miles away, somewhere near Grand Rapids.

“Hello?”

“Riley James?” a strangely familiar voice said.

“Yes, this is.”

“Riley, this is Heather Dale. I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”

I
scanned the square
, looking for any deviations from the plan. Everything looked pretty good. We were keeping it simple today. After all, it’d been pretty short notice. Lanterns and streamers and as many lilacs as we could find on the island. It wasn’t very glamorous, but it was us. The perfect background for our last hurrah as a reality show contestant.

We had a second shot. That’s why Heather Dale had called me personally. Garden Heights, the town in the Pacific Northwest, had been found to be paying people to go online and vote for them. Totally against the rules. And since we were the last town kicked out, we were back. One last chance. They’d aired our scavenger hunt footage in the second to last episode. It didn’t match up with the other finalist's challenge, but that was okay. At least we had the chance to show what we were made of one last time.

The footage from the festival aired as well, including my kiss with Andrew. I’d watched it at home alone, skipping the party at Cora’s, and stared at the screen, trying, in vain, to figure out what he was thinking in that moment.

“We’ll have to shoot the final segment live,” Heather had said on the phone. “It’s just a series of interviews with people from the town, what their experiences were like. We’ll show clips from the different episodes. It’s mostly filler, really, to give people the chance to cast their final votes.”

So they were on their way here right now. Gina and the camera crew and Heather Dale herself to conduct our interviews. The other town, Jackson, Maine, had already taped their segment, but they had a camera crew with them tonight as well. And after the interviews, Heather would go to a makeshift studio—the senior center gym, to be exact—to announce the winner in a neutral space. Either Jackson or us would get to celebrate live on the air.

“Heather Dale, huh?” Rebecca said, coming to stand next to me. “Have you thrown up yet?”

I held out my steady hand. “Nerves of steel, baby.”

“Did you kiss her poster on your way out the door this afternoon?”

“It’s not a poster. It’s more a shrine,” I deadpanned. “How are you?”

“I’m excited. I’m glad we get another shot.”

“Me too.” I had spent an hour on the phone with Gina earlier in the week deciding on the interview list. I wanted a mix of young and old, tourists and locals. A good cross section of our town. The question would be simple:
what does this place mean to you?

“They’re going to get filthy before the show even starts,” Rebecca sighed, her eyes on the boys. They were all down in the grass, playing some game involving toy trucks and a soccer ball.

“At least it will be authentic,” I replied.

We watched them play for a few moments before Rebecca spoke again.

“You know I’m happy, right, Riley?”

I looked over at her, my beautiful baby sister. My sister who could have gotten a full ride to college with her success on the track. Who could have raced with the best of them, maybe even making a national team. My sister, who had stayed here, instead.

“I know that I didn’t live up to all of your expectations for me,” she said, as if reading my mind. “I know I disappointed you.”

“No! Rebecca, you never—”

“It’s okay. I know you only wanted the best for me. And I know that there’s probably some psychological reason that I stayed here and got married so young.” She shot me a sheepish smile. “Something about losing Daddy and Mom being such a mess—I was looking for security, right? That’s what a shrink would say.” She shook her head, her eyes going back to the boys, rolling in the grass. “Maybe they would have a point. But it doesn’t really matter, Riley. Whatever the subconscious reasons for my choices, I’m happy with them. I really am.”

“I know you are, Beccs.”

“I love being a mother. I love Jake. I love living here. I’m good, Riley. My life is good.”

I blinked rapidly, finding it hard to respond, but Rebecca was having none of my avoidance. She took my hand, squeezing. “And it’s good because of you. Because you stepped up to take care of me when Dad was gone. And because you came home when Mom couldn’t deal. Because you were always there for me. You’re a great big sister.”

Great, now I was going to cry. With Heather Dale about to arrive.

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore, okay? You get to make decisions for you now.” She squeezed my hand. “Promise me, Riley.”

Funny. It was just what Mom had said in her letter.

“I will,” I said. “I promise I will.”

“Good.” Rebecca leaned up to kiss my cheek. “Now go finish this out strong.”

Heather Dale was every bit as impressive in person as she was on TV. Maybe more so. She was gorgeous and personable and funny, and when she told me that she was impressed with my work I very nearly passed out.

But I had too much to do to get too star-struck. They were going to be broadcasting live from Lilac Bay, and it was my job to make sure that everything went off without a hitch. The production team had set up a huge projection screen in the middle of the square. The little stage for Heather and her interviewees was beside it. And the entire town was gathered in the square in front of them, stretching all the way to the marina, filling in the sidewalks and streets. Last hurrah indeed.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going live in two minutes,” Gina called over her megaphone. “I need you to hold your places now.”

“I can’t believe all this, Riley,” the mayor said, coming to stand beside me.

“It’s pretty crazy.”

“I’m very proud of you, you know.”

I smiled up at my boss, resplendent today in a lime green shirt and a bowtie in an appropriate shade of lilac. “Thanks. I’m proud of the whole town.”

“When this is all over, let’s sit down and have a talk about your ideas going forward,” he said, sounding way more serious and professional than I was used to. “I think I may have been too quick to dismiss anything new. But you obviously have a good eye for what we can accomplish around here. I think it’s time for a promotion, don’t you?”

“Really?”

“Really.” He winked. “Just make sure I’m there when you tell Millie.”

I laughed and he squeezed my arm.

“One minute!” Gina called.

My eyes scanned the crowd, looking for any flash of red. I’d left Andrew a message right after I heard from Heather. When he didn’t respond, I checked with Edward to make sure he knew about it. “He’s going to try to be there, Riley,” he’d told me, his eyes sad. I wanted to ask what they’d talked about that night I’d interrupted them at Rose’s, but I knew he wouldn’t tell me. He was a good brother.

But now the show was about to start, the culmination of all of our hard work, I couldn’t imagine it happening without Andrew. None of this would have happened without him. He might not have wanted to serve on the committee or be on TV or get any kind of credit, but the truth was, he had every bit as much to do with our success as I did.

“Thirty seconds.”

The crowd was whispering excitedly, Heather Dale fluffing out her hair on stage. This was it.

“Sorry!” Andrew whispered, sliding from nowhere to my side. “Almost didn’t make it. Boat traffic in the marina is insane.”

I gaped at him, finding it hard to believe it was really him. “You’re here.”

“’Course I’m here,” he said, offering me a brief grin. “You didn’t think I was going to let you take all the credit with Heather Dale, did you?”

I wanted to burst into tears, wanted to hug him, or maybe kiss him—but his eyes were on the stage, apparently nowhere near as affected by the moment as I was.
He’s here for the town,
I told myself.
Let it go.

The beginning of the broadcast was a blur. Heather welcomed everyone to Lilac Bay—it was so trippy to have my idol here, talking about our town!—and then showed some footage from the previous episodes. Our audience laughed at the scenes of the Fish Fry, our trivia game, the flash mob. Then there was Andrew and I on stage, acting out the Legend of the Lilacs, while our friends laughed and cheered for us. They didn’t show the kiss, and I found I was grateful. My heart felt too raw with Andrew here after all those days without him.

After the footage, she moved into the interview portion. First up was Libby, looking freaking fantastic in a fifties-style sundress and Manolos.

“Libby, I hear you host a very special club here on the island,” Heather said.

“Oh, absolutely. We’re called the Libbies—”

“Named after you?”

“Named after me, and also our favorite pastimes. We’re the Lilac Bay Book, Booze, and Baking Broads.”

There was scattered laughter across the crowd and a few of the Libbies cheered.

“That sounds very—unique.”

“Everything about this island is unique,” Libby said, grinning. “We don’t have a single dance club. Our movie theater is in the back of the aerobics studio. We don’t even have cars. We have to make our own fun. And we do.”

That got a huge round of applause and I grinned at Libby. She was good at this.

Fran and Crystal were up next, and I held my breath as they were interviewed about the tradition of fudge and chocolate making on the island. To everyone’s obvious shock, they didn’t argue once. Then Jerry was talking about what a comfort the island was to him after his wife died. “I never considered going anywhere else,” he said. “This place is home.”

I felt a lump come to my throat as my neighbors continued to tell the story of this place. I was sure it was obvious to Heather Dale—and all her fans at home—just how sincere they all were. How much it meant to them.

The last person to speak was Rebecca. Aiden was fussing by then, too tired of sitting still, so she brought him up with her.

“Lilac Bay took care of my sister and I when our parents couldn’t,” she said. “It was a no-brainer for me to stay here and raise my own kids.”

I was crying as Heather wrapped it up, not bothering to check my tears. It wasn’t just Rebecca—it was all of them. Every person in this town that made it what it was.

That made it home.

The next segment was the pre-recorded interviews from Jackson. The production crew rushed Heather up to the senior center to get ready for the studio segment later in the show. A few of the camera guys remained to capture our reaction, win or lose, when the announcement was made.

There wasn’t much to do now except to wait. With Andrew.

“So you met Heather Dale, huh?”

“I did. She was great.”

He nodded, and I wondered if I looked half as uncomfortable as he did. So this was how it was going to be now. Awkward and stilted. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stand it.

“Have you talked to Gina anymore about the whole job opportunity thing?” he asked.

“What?” I turned to him, the beginnings of anger stirring in my chest.

“She said she could help you out, right? After the flash mob? I just wondered if you’d talked any more about it.”

I shook my head, the anger growing. “You really want to get rid of me, huh?”

“What? No! I didn’t say that.”

“You know what, Andrew?” I felt exhausted, so tired of whatever this was between us. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll stay out of your hair.”

According to the digital production clock, we had ten minutes before the cameras would be back on. It wouldn’t have mattered to me if we only had seconds. I turned away from the crowd, needing to get away from him.

To think, I’d been so heartbroken to think of him not making it on time.

“Riley, wait.”

I wasn’t sure exactly where I was going. All of the stores and restaurants on Main Street were closed for the show. I just knew I didn’t want to be standing there with Andrew anymore.

“Hey, wait!” He caught up with me near the steps of Town Hall, in full view of anyone from the square who happened to be looking our way. “Why are you mad?”

“Why am I mad? Are you seriously asking me that?”

“I don’t want to get rid of you, Riley. I just want you to be happy. Your mom is getting help now and Rebecca has Jake. So there’s nothing holding you here anymore. And if Heather Dale’s own staff thinks that you could have the kind of career that you’ve always dreamed of—well, I’m sorry, but I have to ask. What in the hell is keeping you here?”

“You think my mom and my sister are the only things keeping me here?” I asked. “I think maybe you don’t know me at all.”

“Riley—”

I pushed him, hard in the chest. “That was shitty of you to leave, Andrew! I didn’t deserve that!”

“I was trying to make things easier on you!”

“Easier on
me
? You’re a liar. You just didn’t want to deal with what happened.”

“Oh, come on, Riley! It was obvious the second we got back to your apartment that you regretted sleeping with me.”

The section of the square closest to us went suddenly silent. I looked up to see at least twenty people staring at us. The rest of them were too far away to hear, I guessed.

“Great,” I muttered. “Thank you for that.”

To my surprise, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the foyer of Town Hall. The walls were glass, so people might still be able to see us, but at least they couldn’t hear.

“You don’t get to decide what I regret, Andrew.”

“You were scared to death. I heard you and Jenny!”

“You heard a single sentence of a pretty long conversation! Yes, I was scared. I was allowed to be! I was confused, Andrew, because it’s a really big deal.
You’re
a really big deal, to me. If you had stood there for another minute you would have heard me say that to Jenny. You’re the only thing in this whole world that I can count on. So yes, the thought of screwing that up is scary. But you had no right to decide that my being nervous meant everything just had to stop. That wasn’t fair and—”

“I love you.”

I sucked in a breath, sure that I hadn’t heard him correctly.

“
What?
”

“Do you remember that race in third grade? At field day?”

Wait—now we were talking about races? I stared at him, open-mouthed, having zero clue what in the hell was going on.

“You beat me. I had beat everyone else, all the boys in our class, and then you came up to race me, and I laughed. You were this twerpy little girl with long spider legs, and I didn’t think you had a chance. But you destroyed me, Riley. You left me in your dust. Do you remember that?”