Always Yours (10 page)

Was she crying?

As I opened my mouth to ask her what was wrong and finally break the silence between us, she leaned in and kissed me. I was a little surprised by her, seeing as how she hadn't responded or said a word to me since I dumped my past in her lap, but as the kiss grew deeper with sentiment my worries slowly dissolved.

I didn’t know why but that kiss seemed different from the others. It wasn't just a kiss; it was a kiss that bonded us together through our pasts. I could see it in her eyes. I didn't know her whole story but I could tell that not only was she left by her father, she was also abandoned by someone else and just like me her dreams were gone as well.

We spent the next hour sitting in the truck, talking about the future and munching on the snacks we had bought earlier. I found out about her addiction to cinnamon bears when I tried to take one from her and she slapped my hand away so hard it smashed into the dashboard. We listened to the radio and tried to 'name that tune' and she was kicking my ass at it, like she was a human radio.

"I work in a bar surrounded by music every night, what did you expect?" she said as she shrugged her shoulders with a smartass smirk on her face.

She was driving me crazy with her adorable bare feet pressed up against my dashboard, taping them to the beat of Frankie Ballard's "Helluva Life”, blasting through the speakers. Belting out the lyrics with a huge smile plastered across her face, she was bobbing her head with her eyes closed as the words consumed her.

Turning on the headlights, I rolled down the windows and turned the radio up as loud as it would go. She looked at me like I was crazy. Opening the door I shouted over my shoulder at her, "Come on, firecracker!" I got out of the truck and stood in the beams of light waiting for her. Shaking her head humorously, she got out of the truck and shuffled towards me. I reached my hand out for hers. "I believe I have some making up to do," I stated, and she laughed as she took it. Raising her hand above her head, I spun her around before pulling her close to me. I wrapped my free arm around her waist while she grabbed my shoulder and I started swaying us to the music. Our stares were locked on each other and every time the beam of headlights connected with her eyes, I got lost in them. They were greener than usual tonight and the tiny flecks of gold that highlighted them kept glistening in the light.

As the song got closer to ending I could tell she was getting more and more nervous. She rested her head on my chest just like she did the night we met, but this time she was hesitant.

Did she really think I was going to leave again?

Trying to assure her that I wasn't going anywhere I squeezed her tighter and just as I was about to kiss the top of her head, Amber's beautiful smile flashed through my mind like lightning. The striking force hit my heart, sending it up in flames all over again. Amber always found a way to corrupt my mind. At a pivotal moment when I wanted to be thinking about Cara, and only Cara, Amber was still there. Hiding. Waiting. Destroying.

Closing my eyes, I fought like hell to push the thoughts of Amber away but it was no use. I wasn't ready for this—for Cara. The damage from Amber was still too severe and I needed to get some distance. I had to tell Cara, but I knew if I did, she'd leave and that thought was more devastating than what I was going through with Amber. I didn't want to lose her. I had to make a decision—run away and let the pain of the past continue to control me, or stay and fight through the wreckage to regain my existence.

I could feel him tensing up as the song we were dancing to came to an end. I didn't really think he was going to leave me out here, considering we were in the middle of nowhere, but the thought had crossed my mind.

Tonight had been spectacular in so many ways, but it also frightened me. I was slowly falling for Cam, or so I thought, and I knew that commitment was not going to be his thing. The way his face looked when he spoke about his ex, Amber, told me that he wasn't over her yet. It was only going to be a matter of time before he realized that and left me, just like every guy did.

I was terrified to look up when he suddenly stopped moving. His hold on me loosened and his hand fell from my waist and I knew this was the end of something that never really got started. Pushing off of his chest I turned and headed for the truck, never once glancing at him. I knew I wouldn't be able to stomach the look on his face. As our hands slid apart, I felt my body trying to savor his touch and I could feel the emptiness devour me as the tips of our fingers parted.

With a deep breath, I forced myself over to his truck. Grabbing the door handle, I froze for a moment, contemplating if I should turn and run to him, but I knew I couldn't. I wouldn't let him hurt me. I was done being the wounded animal. With a heavy heart, I opened the door. It jerked back with force, slamming shut, when Cam's hand smacked into it. I stumbled backwards and stared at him with wide eyes.

"We're not going anywhere," he mumbled dejected.

"It's fine, Cam. I get it." It took all my strength to stay composed in front of him. I wasn't going to show how much this hurt. "You're not ready for this," I told him.

"Yes, I am." His hands balled into fists at his sides. "I want to stop thinking about her and you're the reason I want to. I'm not ready to let you go, firecracker."

I didn't know what to do. I feared that in the end he would break my heart but in this moment, the thought of going through the heartache didn't bother me. I just wanted to experience him—I wanted to feel him. And if that meant it was only for tonight, so be it.

"Don't think, just feel," I whispered.

His chest heaved with each breath he took, and he looked as though he was internally torn with his actions. Behind his blue eyes I could see a hint of fear—he was just as scared as I was.

Standing there, I watched the muscles in his arms flex and quiver. Then he lunged at me—grabbing the back of my neck with both hands, he vigorously pulled me to him and slammed his lips down on mine. He lifted me up into his arms and I wrapped my legs around him tightly.

Frantically, my hands fisted in his hair and I knew exactly what this frenzied kiss was leading to. Every part of my body was awake and ready. My sex was wet and pulsing with desire and all I wanted was to feel him inside of me.

He pushed me up against the side of the truck. "I want you so fucking bad right now," he said breathlessly, trailing kisses down my neck. "Say it, Cara, say you want me too. I need to hear it."

"I want you, Cam, please," I begged him, desperation dripping from my words.

My legs still wrapped firmly around his waist, he walked us to the back of the truck. He lowered the tailgate and gently set me down. Sliding the strap of my tank top off my shoulder, he continued the onslaught of kisses, this time making sure to graze his teeth along my skin. Sensations of pure hunger ran through me from the bite and my head fell back as I moaned softly.

His hands roamed my body—over my breasts, across my stomach, and down my thighs—his touch rough, but still compassionate. My whole body started to shiver when he rubbed my sex through my jeans. "Tonight, this is all mine," he growled as he employed more pressure. "And I will do whatever I want to it. Do you understand?"

His deep, commanding tone shot straight through me. I couldn't even speak. I nodded in agreement as I rested back on my hands and pushed my hips upward to meet him.

"A little impatient, are we?" he teased as he slowly began to unbutton my jeans, his fingers purposely brushing lightly over my skin. "Good things
come
to those who wait, firecracker, and you will come, but only when I tell you to."

After removing my shoes, he slid my jeans down my legs, taking my thong along with, and I flinched when the cold metal of the truck touched my backside. "Shit, that's cold!" I cried out.

"Would you like me to warm that luscious ass up?" he asked with a devilish smile on his face. I was a little worried about what he meant by that and I'm sure the apprehension showed on my face. He began to laugh. "Don't worry, firecracker, I won't own that part of you until you're ready." He winked at me and the uneasy feeling I had disappeared.

Feeling open to the elements I tried to close my legs but he grabbed my knees and pulled them apart, spreading me wide and exposing me further. "This is all mine," he rumbled, skimming his hands down my thighs. I squirmed in anticipation, waiting for his rough hand to finally touch my bare clit, but he stopped just short of it. "Ah, ah, not yet, we still have some clothes to remove. Sit up," he ordered.

Letting out a whimper I looked at him in frustration and did what he said. He was the biggest tease ever but I loved every second of it. He was unrelenting and I resigned myself willingly to him—every demanding decree adding to my arousal.

Taking hold of the hem of my shirt he lifted it over my head. The cool night air tickled a bit, making a wave of goose bumps cover my body. He reached behind me to unclasp my bra, bringing his face mere inches from mine. I could smell the masculinity oozing off of him, and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to rip his clothes off. Reaching for his shirt I began tugging on it when he caught my hand. "Nice try, but I'm not done with you," he whispered. I let go of his shirt and looked down. Lifting my chin, he looked at me. "Trust me, you'll get your chance." He released my bra and it fell to the ground.

His coarse hands found my breasts and began fondling them. Pinching my nipple between his fingers, he rolled and played with it as he took the other in his mouth. Arching my back I rolled my body into his, trying to find any relief that I could. I was throbbing uncontrollably and if I didn't find my release soon I was going to scream.

"Cam...." I groaned. "Please." He bit down on the now rigid bud in his mouth and I cried out in pleasure, "Oh, God!"

He chuckled softly. "He wishes he was me." Slamming his lips down on mine he ravaged my mouth before telling me to lie back. Pulling me to the edge of the tailgate, he pushed my legs open. "Mine," he breathed.

My whole body quivered when his mouth covered me. His slick tongue glided over every fold skillfully and when he dug his fingers into my hips it made me cry out his name. I was building fast and just as I felt myself climbing higher towards my much needed orgasm he stopped.

What the hell was he doing?

Whining, I sat up and looked at him. "You're freaking killing me here, Cam."

"You come when I say you can come and I want it to be when I'm inside you," he said sternly. "Now, get these clothes off of me." He took a step back, crossed his arms over his chest and waited patiently.

"Yes, sir," I succumbed, saluting him like I was in the military.

Jumping off of the truck, I walked over to him and lifted his shirt up. His toned abs called to me and I wanted to run my tongue over every inch of them. He was too tall for me to take it off so I watched tentatively as he pulled it over his head. I ran my hands over the delicious curves of his chest, stopping when I saw the words "Fight for something or you will live for nothing” tattooed just above his hip in a beautiful scripted font. I ran my finger over the ink and down his side, stopping at his belt buckle. When I kneeled down in front of him I could see his erection pressing up against his jeans and I licked my lips eagerly—I had to taste him. I pushed his pants down and the only thing separating me from his hardness was his briefs. I couldn't wait any longer, gripping him through the fabric, I stroked his length and he let out a deep throaty groan.

I felt his hand on the top of my head and I looked up at him. "Do you want to taste me?” he asked. I nodded my head and wasted no time pulling down the cotton briefs that were keeping me from him. He was the largest man I had ever seen and my sex clenched at the sight of him. "Suck it," he demanded.

I wanted to give him a blow job he would never forget so I sprang up to my feet. Smirking at him I turned and padded back to the cab of the truck telling him over my shoulder to sit tight. When I returned, he was lying on his back across the tailgate, his hands behind his head. It made me stop dead in my tracks. I looked him over hungrily—he was sculpted from head to toe and built like a fighter—lean, and chiseled to perfection.

"He's waiting for you, firecracker," he said as he looked down to his massive erection. I couldn't help but giggle.

I tossed the bag of cinnamon bears I had grabbed from the truck onto his chest as I walked over to him. "What are these for?" he asked as he held up the bag.

"You'll see."

Gripping his length, I began to slowly stroke him. His eyes closed and his face twisted into sheer pleasure. I pulled a cinnamon bear from the bag and popped it into my mouth, letting it dissolve a bit as I licked the tip of him provocatively. When the candy was small enough I took him into my mouth and began bobbing my head up and down. Faster, then slower, teasing him just like he had me. Watching him through my lashes I could tell he was enjoying every minute of this and I hoped the heat from the cinnamon was adding to his pleasure. I could feel him start to twitch and I knew he was close. I wanted him to come in my mouth so I could taste him but once again he stopped me.