Always Yours (22 page)

Cara had broken me and I ran up here to forget about her—about everything.

I successfully drank her away—at least for one night—but now it was time to face a new day. Knowing I wasn't going to hear her sweet voice or see her sexy smile pained me, but I knew I had to move on. After all, I had done this before. It wasn't like this was my first rodeo. I was good at pretending everything was okay—that I was happy—when in fact I was barely living. I had been lying to everyone, even myself, since Amber left.

When I met Cara, it was like I was reborn—I was alive again. Now I was right back to where I started; only difference was, this time, there wasn't going to be another 'Cara' out there to save me.

No nightmare.

The fear was gone.

I had suppressed it back down to my core. At last, my mind was at peace but my heart....it was far from it.

It was empty, lonely and completely ravaged—an overwhelming numbness that was spreading throughout me, indicating I had made the biggest mistake of my life.

I couldn't shake it. It had been four days since I called it off with Cam and nothing was easing the unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The only hope I had came from Tessa. She had put it into a perspective I could handle. The words were simple but so true in every aspect.

“Sometimes when you love someone you have to let them go. If they come back to you, they were always yours. And if they don’t, then they were never yours to begin with. You just have to believe that he will always come back.”

I knew as she spoke she wasn't just talking about Cam and me. She was giving herself the advice as well.

Blake had broken up with her the night of Matt's party and no one could figure out why. If anything, she should have dumped him after what he did to her but for some reason she didn't. She forgave him and then just like that, he ripped her heart out. He left it with her that night on Matt's porch as he walked away and never looked back.

Now Tessa was alone, just like me. Only difference was, she had no control over it. I may have broken my own heart but at least I was in charge of it. It was my decision, my choice. I wasn't blindsided like she was. I had felt her pain before and I swore to myself I would never let that happen again. I did what I had to do to protect myself—to protect my heart, even if it didn't agree.

"Thanks for working tonight, Shay," I told her as she came through the back door of the bar with a case of beer bottles. "Tonight is Lexi's last night of training so starting tomorrow we are back to a full staff."

She set the heavy case down on the bar top. "No problem, chica. Kyle's been pissing me off lately anyway so I'm happy to be out of the house."

"Still being stubborn about the whole proposing thing?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, not really, I haven't bugged him about that in weeks." She sounded perturbed as she let out a heavy sigh and jumped up on the counter. She rocked her legs back and forth restlessly as she let out a worrisome sigh.

"Then what's his deal? Are you guys not getting along?" I asked perplexed.

"He's just been so closed off and moody lately. It's like every little thing I say sets him off. I'm to the point that I just don't say anything when he's around."

"Really? That's strange. He's so easy going," I said shocked as I grabbed the beers and started sticking them in the fridge.

Tapping her fingers on the counter she looked at me. "Do you think he's..." She trailed off, a look of panic and fear clouding her features.

"Do I think what? That he's cheating on you?" My brow furrowed at her and she nodded her head slowly. "Not possible. You know Kyle would never do that to you. Not after what his parents put him through." She smiled the weakest, most half assed smile I had ever seen. "It's true, Shay, and deep down you know it too. Maybe he's just stressing about the gym. It's a huge gamble for him and it opens in, what, a month?"

"Yeah, I guess you could be right. I mean, he has been working a lot lately. I'll try to push through until after the opening." Her normal upbeat smile returned to her face. "But if he is still acting like this after the opening then I am kicking his ass!"

We continued stocking the bar, getting ready for the evening when there was a loud knock on the door. The employees always just came in if it was after four pm and seeing as how it was now 4:15 I couldn't help but wonder who it was. Walking over I swung the door open to find Nolan Brooks, our liquor distributor, and a group of scandalously dressed women behind him.

Nolan had been supplying Maggie's Place with all things alcohol for over three years and we had become surprisingly close for having a business relationship. When I first started working at the bar he knew I was Royce's daughter so he stayed clear but it didn't last long.

Nolan was an endless flirt and as soon as I was behind the bar the real him emerged. He had asked me out a few times a couple years ago but I always said no. I wasn't about to deviate from my plan of 'no men' for just anyone. Don't get me wrong—Nolan was attractive, quirky and charismatic—deep down I think I always had a small thing for him but I was always scared of getting hurt.

"Hey, Cara, where do you want us?" he said as he pushed past me, his arms full of marketing materials.

"Umm, hi," I uttered, confused as hell.

An unsettling feeling washed over me—the last time I saw Nolan, Cam had followed me home from the bar and accused me of sleeping with him. It was also the night Cam fucked me silly on my kitchen table—the night he owned my body and stole my heart. I felt my cheeks flush as the memory haunted me—my heart breaking all over again.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Nolan asked as the five women in white, skin tight pirate shirts and black, way-too-short-their-asses-were-hanging-out skirts, walked in with huge fake smiles plastered to their faces.

Trying to focus I searched for any recollection of what was going on. Searching my brain, I remembered the last conversation I had with Nolan.

"The Captain event! Oh, shit, it's tonight?" I felt like a complete idiot for letting it slip my mind. He raised his eyebrows and nodded at me like I was beyond stupid. "Crap, Nolan. I'm so sorry. I've had a lot going on this week." My head tilted down as I looked at him through my lashes.

"When you look at me like that, there's no way I could be mad at you." He brushed the back of his fingers across my cheek and I smiled, grateful that he wasn't mad at me. "But I hope you're fully staffed. We've been promoting this event for a month and you're going to be packed tonight."

I looked back at Shay and she shrugged her shoulders at me. I was so relieved she was here tonight. Smashing my thumb between my teeth I grimaced at her as I silently pleaded for her forgiveness. Reaching under the bar she grabbed my stash of Cinnamon Bears and threw them on the bar top. "I'll go get more beer and liquor from the back," she conceded and I released the breath I'd been holding.

Lexi sauntered through the door and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the group of women. "What's going on?" I knew I was going to have to pull Lexi from her last night of training but I wasn't worried. She caught on quickly and handled the customers beautifully, even the overly egotistical ones. The female patrons seemed to adore her southern charm as much as the men and I knew she was going to do just fine.

"Tonight is the Captain Liquor Event," I said, trying to sound optimistic.

"Sounds fun," she exclaimed.

"Oh, they are, but they also mean we get crazy busy," I warned her. "Which also means you're no longer in training. Welcome to the world of serving, Lexi." I put my arm around her and she grinned. "Come on, I need help getting set up."

By ten o'clock the bar was packed full. Lexi was kicking ass with the customers, Shay and I were kicking ass behind the bar, and Nolan was being...Nolan. He had flocks of females around him, all laughing at his eccentricity as they threw themselves at him. And as usually, Nolan didn't even notice.

Maybe that's why I'd always been attracted to him. He wasn't smug or arrogant. He was humble and respectful towards women. It was like he didn't know what he did to the opposite sex.

I watched him as he interacted with the women and I couldn't keep the dopey grin off my face. He smiled at something and even from across the room, I spotted a faint dimple appear on his right cheek. I never noticed it before, and my interests were piqued. Looking him over, I admired the man I had blindly overlooked all these years. His russet colored hair was cut short on the sides and spiked up in the middle where it was a touch longer. His smooth skin gave the impression he was younger than he actually was; especially when he smiled and the light caught that barely there dimple. Thick, black, retro glasses framed a set of intense eyes that matched the color of his hair and his sharp jaw line was covered in a prickly layer of dark stubble. His tall toned frame towered over six feet tall and he gave a new meaning to tall, dark and handsome.

He looked up from what he was doing and caught me staring at him. A benevolent smirk touched his eyes and heat filled my face as I quickly looked away.

"I like it better when you're staring."

Cam's rough, profound voice engulfed my head like a tsunami making landfall. In an instant he was everywhere, flooding my senses.

His strong, blue eyes.

"Relax, don't deny it, just feel it."

His powerful, obsessive hands.

"Tonight, this is all mine and I will do whatever I want to it. Do you understand?"

My whole body began trembling from head to toe and I inhaled a sharp, jagged breath as electricity shot straight through me.

"Don't give up on me yet, firecracker."

The last words struck me like a fist of realization straight to the gut.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I gripped my head in my hands. The bar went silent as "I Never Told You" by Colbie Caillat began playing over the speakers. The lyrics said exactly what I was feeling.

I had to see him. I had to tell him the truth. It was going to eat at me until I did.

"Cara?" I heard Shay say and her arms were instantly around me, comforting me.

"I have to tell him, Shay. I have to tell him the truth. Even if he hates me afterwards, I have to tell him." My voice was cracking now as I held back the sobs.

"Go," she said wholeheartedly with a slight nod of her head. "We'll be fine here, go."

"Thank you." I hugged her quickly, grabbed my purse from the office, and left.