Amber Frost (20 page)

I closed my eyes and tipped my head back against the seat. It took me a few minutes before I could speak.

“It was just my father’s reaction that upset me. The way he looked at me… just please, for me, try to want him to forgive me?” I asked, softly. “Other than that though… it’s not like I was that happy living there. I rarely saw my parents anyway - but what will I do now?”

“You’ll stay with me,” Sebastian answered without hesitation. “The Jensons have a guest room; you will be welcome to stay with us until we can sort this all out.”

“No, I don’t want to cause trouble for them. They’re good people and even though my father likes them, he won’t hesitate to go after them if they become involved in the situation.”

“They’ll be fine. I’ve never wanted trouble for them and I still don’t. Don’t worry about them,” Sebastian reassured me.

“But what about school? If I’m not living at home, my parents won’t continue to pay my tuition at Craigflower… I suppose I could complete my last semester at a public school.”

“You can stay at Craigflower. If that’s what you want then I’ll take care of it,” Sebastian promised. I didn’t doubt him.

“My clothes, all my things…”

“I’ll go back later and get a few things for you. I can be very sneaky when I want to be,” he pointed out, his lips twitching into a timid smile. I tried to return it, all I could manage was a weak grimace. “I’m so sorry this happened, Gracelynn. I wish there was something I could do…”

“Why can’t you want my parents to accept you and our relationship?” I asked, quietly. He sadly shook his head.

“It doesn’t work like that. I don’t want you to stay at your parents’ house because I know you aren’t happy there and I want you to be close to me too. No matter how selfish that is, I can’t help how I feel. And I don’t want them to accept me because for that to happen, I’d have to change who I am and I can’t. I won’t do that. Not for them.”

“Oh.”

We rode in silence for several more minutes. I stared out at the cold, gray day. The raindrops that hit the windshield were thick and slushy but as I watched, they suddenly change to become light, floating snowflakes, each one large enough to see its perfectly formed, unique pattern as it glanced against the glass. The snowflakes swirled around the car as we sped down the street. I could clearly see it was raining still everywhere else yet we drove in our own little miraculous snow globe, the flakes melting back into fat, icy drops as soon as the car passed them.

“Sebastian?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately, glancing at me with concern-filled eyes. I wondered if he’d even noticed the snow or if these strange events were so commonplace to him now that they didn’t even attract his attention.

“Right now I’m feeling a little sad, definitely confused and completely overwhelmed but I want you to know… I’m still happy, as ridiculous as that may seem. All I really need is to be with you.” This time it was easier to smile at him. His relief was obvious, his answering smile radiant.

“Nothing about you is ridiculous, Gracelynn. I’ll take care of you, I promise. And I’ll figure this out, somehow. There has to be a way… I want it to work out between us so badly.” His voice was soft and desperate. I reached over and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“It’ll work out. I know it will, I trust you. Now let’s forget about this morning – let’s forget about everyone and everything other than us. I want to have fun, I
need
to have fun,” I declared. I noticed the cloud of snowflakes swirling about the car was thinning, thick, slushy raindrops now melding in with the flakes.

“Good because
I want
to have fun.” His smile was teasing, his eyes sparkling back at me.

“It’s so simple when we want the same thing,” I half-joked. He nodded thoughtfully.

“Perhaps that’s the solution to our problem, then. Let’s just never disagree.”

“Agreed,” I answered with a laugh. He raised our clasped hands to his lips, sealing our vow with a kiss. If only it could be that simple.

Sebastian easily and effortlessly kept me from focusing on my darker thoughts. Over the following two weeks of Winter Break I stayed with him at the Jensons’ house and had a surprisingly good time despite the circumstances of my being there. Sebastian had something planned for every day; we went for long hikes, exploring the beaches, mountains and forests of Southern Vancouver Island. We went to craft fairs and flea markets, and to free local plays and outdoor concerts. We even went ice skating one day when a nearby pond froze over. All the outings were hardly necessary as Sebastian proved to be entertaining and distracting all on his own. I could listen to him talk for hours as he described some of his more vivid dreams to me – the magical, wild places he had seen, all the cities and cultures he had been a part of. He was constantly surprising me – and himself. Like the morning he woke up and remembered he’d spent some time in Asia and then suddenly starting chattering away in three different Asian dialects that until that very moment, he had forgotten he knew. Or the night that he dreamt about music and then the next day, suddenly darted into a music store we were passing and proceeded to skillfully play each instrument they had, from stand up bass to penny whistle to harp.

Sebastian’s remembered musical inclination revived my own passion for music. Since our friendship had developed, I had finally found the courage to drop many of the unwanted extra-curricular activities my parents had pushed me into, like student council and tennis lessons. I replaced my tedious piano lessons with private guitar lessons from Sebastian, and under his encouragement I also switched dance classes from ballroom to contemporary – which I absolutely loved, as he had known I would. In such a short time he already knew me so well; it seemed impossible that we had only known one another for barely two months. The deep connection and understanding between us felt like it had been years. I treasured each and every minute I spent with Sebastian, even though I knew we would most likely have an infinite amount of time together. Each day with him was magical, each moment together as precious as it was unbelievable.

My happy days with Sebastian did not end when the sun went down either. Our days together were nothing in comparison to our nights. Each and every evening, we stayed up late talking and kissing and marveling in each others’ arms. Our whispered laughs and hushed, tender words created electric chemistry that sparkled like bright stars in the night sky. Surprisingly, Sebastian often had to remind
me
of my morals, protecting my chastity as preciously and devotedly as he did my heart and soul. More often than not though, I would fall asleep in Sebastian’s bed, wrapped within the soothing comfort of his warm, strong arms, safe and blissfully happy against his chest. The Jensons never commented on the lack of time I spent in my own room; they weren’t often home and even when they were, Sebastian seemed to have few rules to follow. I suppose it was difficult to try to enforce a curfew with someone you knew to be four hundred years your senior, and they knew that Sebastian would always do what he wanted anyway.

Life with Sebastian was near perfect, very little ever went wrong. It was reassuringly, soul-soothing to be able to trust someone so thoroughly, to have an undoubtable, unshakeable faith that you were safe by their side. Sebastian never had to worry about needing anything; life simply provided for him what he needed, his wants often satisfied before he’d even consciously realized them himself.

Sebastian tried his very best to anticipate my ‘wants’ too and to make them his own. This was most evident when a few days after I’d left my parents’ house I received a phone call from my father. We were up in Sebastian’s room when my cell phone rang and I nervously announced the name on the call display – it was a call from my father’s office. Sebastian appeared completely unsurprised, gently squeezing my hand and encouraging me to answer the call. I opened my phone with trembling hands as he moved to the other side of the room, turning his back to give me some privacy.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Grace,” my father answered in his deep, stern voice.

“Dad, I’m so glad you called –”

“I just wanted to make sure you were safe,” my father interrupted stiffly. “No matter what transpired, you are still my daughter and I will ensure that you’re taken care of.”

“Thank you, Dad,” I whispered gratefully. “You don’t need to worry, the Jensons are taking good care of me.” He paused before answering.

“Very good then.”

An awkward silence ensued.

“Dad… I’m sorry. I wish you could just understand. Sebastian’s not like you think –”

“That’s enough, Grace. I did not call to discuss
him
, only to ensure that you are safe. And having done so…” The line went dead. I slowly closed my cell phone, slipping it back into my pocket. I turned to Sebastian, sadly. He was standing by the window, watching me with curious and guilty eyes.

“He’s still angry,” I told him, quietly.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying, Grace, really I am. At least he phoned; that’s a step in the right direction, isn’t it?” he asked, his eyes pleading.

“I know. Don’t worry, I’m fine,” I assured him half-heartedly. He didn’t respond, just stared at me with his wise, knowing eyes.

“You know how I’ve been dreaming about the North a lot lately?” Sebastian suddenly asked. He quickly stepped across the room, taking my hands in his. I nodded, confused by this sudden change of direction our conversation was taking. “Last night, I remembered being in the Arctic, I remembered why I was there too,” he announced, his eyes twinkling enticingly.

“You’re trying to distract me,” I accused. Despite myself though my interest had been piqued. He grinned back at me, unashamed.

“Is it working?”

I sighed in impatience. “Just tell me,” I requested, feigning indifference. “What were you doing in the North?”

“I was hibernating.”

I stared at him blankly, I could tell he was holding back a smile. “Excuse me?”

“I was hibernating,” he repeated. He definitely had my full attention now and he knew it. “Something bad had happened, I’m not sure exactly what – no matter how hard I try, no matter how much of my life I remember, I can’t seem to figure that one out.” He shrugged, dismissing the matter. “Regardless, something happened that had… upset me. I was actually quite depressed. I wanted nothing more to do with this world, with this life but I still couldn’t find a way to die. I think that option may be impossible for me; I’ll always have too strong an instinct for self-preservation to ever want it enough.” He sighed, his eyes almost wistful.

“Hibernation,” I reminded him. He looked up, smiling once more.

“Right. Thank you,” he acknowledged, quickly kissing my hand. “As I was saying, I was tired of living the way I did. I decided I wanted to sleep, to hide away from the world for a time, alone and unaffected – and so I did. I traveled as far North as I could get on my own two feet – I can only remember glimpses of that remarkable journey though I’m certain once the gaps fill in it’ll be a tale in and of itself. Eventually I found a place underground, a cave I think, and I crawled into its depths, cradled by the ice and snow, and I slept.”

“But… that’s not possible,” I protested, frowning. “You should have died from the cold – your body would have frozen, you would have starved – your muscles should have degenerated
from not moving.”

“I don’t know how I did it Gracelynn, but I did. I think I used to have a lot more control over my influence on things than I do now. If only I could remember…” he trailed off thoughtfully. “Don’t you see though? I’ve always thought that my influence over events was limited by what’s
possible
but those limits may have been self-imposed by my own notions of what’s possible and what isn’t. Or perhaps if I want something to be possible, it can be,” he mused. “This opens up a whole new world of…”

“Possibilities?” I finished for him, my voice faint. I felt like I was treading water, desperately trying to keep my head clear to breathe, to understand the complexities of his mind.

“Exactly.” He gave me a pleased grin.

“Do you remember how long you… hibernated for?” I asked, tentatively. A slow smile spread across his face before he answered.

“Yes, that’s actually what I was most excited to tell you before I became distracted. I can remember when I came out of the ice, when I returned to civilization. The world was a very different place from the one I had tried to hide myself from. Though much is still foggy and difficult to grasp, I can clearly remember thinking, ‘
how much the world has changed in two hundred years
’.” My jaw dropped open; I was stunned. Though I knew Sebastian was hundreds of years old, I often found it hard to think of him that way. The reminder was shocking.

“Two hundred years?” I heard myself whisper.

“Yes! That means I’m really only two hundred and fifty years older than you, give or take a few years,” he added with a laugh. I didn’t answer, didn’t react. I could do nothing but just stare at this strange, ancient creature before me. “I don’t really think the two hundred years I slept for should count against my age. Don’t you agree? Gracelynn?” His teasing smile faded, his expression slipping into one of concern. “Gracelynn?”

“You ‘hibernated’ for two hundred years?” I repeated faintly. I sat down on the edge of his bed, feeling dizzy. He knelt down in front of me, his eyes full of his confusion and concern.

“Yes. What’s wrong? Please tell me,” he begged, reading the reluctance in my eyes. I leaned forward to rest my forehead against his, taking slow deep breaths through my nose. His skin was warm and soft, his lashes long and dark, fluttering with each blink. He felt very human, he looked human but how could he possibly be?

“It’s just the image of you… sleeping away hundreds of years, buried amongst ice and snow, yet perfect and untouched by it all. It’s daunting.” He pulled back from me with a snort, the concern evaporating from his expression as it shifted into exasperation.

“Really, Gracelynn – I thought you’d be excited. That’s two hundred years that we aren’t separated by; two hundred years that I hadn’t actually forgotten because I never actually experienced them!” He laughed, shaking his head though I wasn’t sure if the gesture were meant for me or himself.

“It just seems so unnatural to imagine though…”

“But living as an eighteen year old for four hundred and fifty years is the norm?” He raised a mocking brow at me, his eyes twinkling, inviting me to join in the joke.

“It shouldn’t be possible,” I repeated stubbornly. I was feeling less overwhelmed now, my head was beginning to clear. Sebastian shrugged, hopping up to sit on the bed beside me. He turned towards me, taking my hand and placing it against the side of his face.

“
I
shouldn’t be possible, Gracelynn. Everything about me is impossible.”

“You
are
impossible,” I agreed wryly, a reluctant smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. “Since the first day I met you, I’ve found myself questioning my whole belief system about the world, about life – to be honest, I’m not sure what really is or isn’t possible anymore,” I admitted with a sigh. “You’ve made my world start spinning backwards.”

“You’ve changed me too,” he agreed. “Before I met you, I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way; I didn’t know that this kind of happiness existed. It’s unimaginable how I ever lived without you and didn’t spend every minute suffering from the loss.” He smiled as he spoke though his voice sounded sad. He cupped my face tenderly with both hands as he brought his lips against mine. I rejoiced in his arms, in his tender and thrilling embrace and for a while I forgot about all my worries and concerns; there was nothing but us as I savored the moment.

It was a few days later, on Christmas Eve, when I heard from my father again. Sebastian and I were sitting downstairs in the living room with the Jensons. They’d been surprisingly accepting of me and my relationship with Sebastian, or at least they were curiously resigned to it. They had never questioned either of us, never doubted the wisdom behind our decisions nor did they seem concerned about their own involvement in the situation. They merely accepted what was; it was unchangeable, and they seemed to trust Sebastian, and knew it would all work out.

Their home was warm and cozy, and I was made to feel quite welcome there. I hadn’t seen much of either of the Jensons in the week that I’d stayed so far, but when they had been home they’d always spoken to me kindly. Mrs. Jenson cooked us fresh, home-made meals and Mr. Jenson told me stories that made me laugh. I was so comfortable there that I actually spent very little time worrying about my own parents or thinking of my own home. It was a subject that no one brought up; it wasn’t avoided, there just always seemed to be happier, more interesting topics to discuss. It was a surprise then, when the phone rang and Mrs. Jenson announced that it was my father calling, and what was even more surprising was that he wanted to speak to Mr. Jenson.

All our eyes immediately went to Sebastian, who sat cross-legged on the floor near my feet, his back to the glowing fireplace. He shrugged at Mr. Jenson then turned to look up at me, the confusion clear in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” was all he said. He watched as curiously as I did, as Mrs. Jenson handed the phone to her husband. With one last glance at Sebastian and I, he hesitantly lifted the phone to his ear.