Amelia's Journey (12 page)

“Yes, dear, we have a few things to discuss.”

Sternness set his face in stone, and no sparkle filled his eyes. Mama's eyes too spoke of her disapproval. Amelia squared her shoulders and stood before her parents.

“I understand you have been corresponding with Benjamin Haynes.”

“Yes, Papa, I have.” She made no secret about their correspondence. Her letters to Ben had been set on the hall table with all the other family mail, and his had arrived in like manner.

“I see. I also understand that Philip Barlow will no longer be calling on you.”

Amelia swallowed hard. So Philip had understood her last answer, but had he spoken with her father about it, or had the Barlows mentioned it to Papa? Either way, Mama and Papa knew the truth. “That's right. We have no true interest in each other.” At least that was true for her, and she hoped it was the same for Philip.

Papa glanced over at Mama then cleared his throat. “Exactly why have you turned him down as a suitor?”

Amelia's stomach roiled and bile filled her throat. She had to tell the truth, or Papa would surely be angry, if he wasn't now. She had no choice but to speak her heart and pray her parents would understand the deep waves of emotion that overtook her being whenever her thoughts settled on Ben and the future.

“I have no interest in Philip as a suitor. We did enjoy our times together, but we could see that our relationship wasn't developing.”

“And why was that?” The ice in her father's voice cut into her heart.

“I do not love Philip, and I do not wish to marry anyone if it is not for true love. I do not want a marriage based on only social position and convenience.”

Her mother gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes opened wide with disbelief. Papa's face turned red, and the veins in his neck thickened. Amelia pressed her hands together behind her back to quiet their shaking. Her world was about to be turned upside down, but telling the truth now and knowing exactly what she had to face with her parents may give her time to win them over by spring.

Mama's voice came out in a squeak. “Amelia, you can't be serious. Philip is a fine young man.”

Papa nodded, and his voice held the sternness she hadn't heard since she'd misbehaved so badly at a family affair years ago. “I agree. What can a young girl of your age know about marriage of convenience? Your mother and I merely want what is best for you.”

“I do understand, Papa. You and Mama, and Amanda and Charles married because you truly love each other, not just because it was a good blending of families. I care a great deal about Benjamin Haynes, and I believe we could have the same love as you and Mama.”

Storm clouds gathered in Papa's eyes. “You have nothing in common with that boy. He may be the son of our friends, but he's lived away from Boston too long and does not understand our way of life. I told him he couldn't call on you, so leave it at that. You are to concentrate on the young men around here and plan to take your place in society just as Amanda has.”

Amelia bit her lip. If it meant marrying a man she didn't love, she couldn't do it. Scriptures about honoring one's parents and following their rules swam through her mind in a jumble of words and phrases, but all stated a very clear meaning. She must be obedient.

“Yes, Papa, I will do as you wish.” For now, but she would continue to write to Ben, and she'd never stop trying to help them see how suitable Ben was as a suitor. How she didn't know, but she'd find a way, or her name wasn't Amelia Rebecca Carlyle.

After Amelia left the room and closed the door, Lenora turned to Isaac. “Are we doing the right thing by forbidding her to be with Benjamin?”

Isaac picked up the newspaper and snapped it open. “Of course we are. You don't want her living clear out in Kansas, do you?”

“No, of course not, but I do want her to be happy. I've never seen such unhappiness in her eyes as I did when you made your proclamation.” Lenora bit her lip. She couldn't bear the thought of her daughter being so far away. Still, what would the future hold for Amelia if she refused the attentions of all the local young men?

“I'd say defiance was more like it. I want her to be happy too, but her happiness lies here in Boston and not in Kansas on a cow ranch. Life around cowboys is no life for a daughter of ours, and the sooner she realizes it, the better off she'll be.”

“Elizabeth seems to have adjusted very well, and she fit right back into things here when they came for the wedding and then again for the cotillion.” If it hadn't been for a few subtle differences in Elizabeth's demeanor, Lenora would never believe her friend had been living on a ranch in Kansas for so many years.

“Are you saying we should let her go on writing and building a relationship with Benjamin Haynes?”

“I don't know, Isaac. My mind is just as confused as our daughter's seems to be. We must do what is best for her and for Benjamin. I don't want her so far away from us, but I don't want her to be an unhappy, unmarried young woman here either.”

“Set your mind at ease, dear. Amelia will be happy with one of the young men she has met recently.”

Ben's invitation to visit Kansas came to her mind. She'd love to see the family again, and in their own element. “Perhaps we should plan for a visit to the ranch.”

Isaac stroked his chin. “You may be right. If Amelia sees how hard life can be on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, she will think twice about wanting to move there. If Amelia hasn't given up on Ben by spring, I'll write to Matthew about a visit.” With that, he sat back to read the newspaper, clearly dismissing Lenora.

She sat for a few minutes, thoughts whirling through her mind like a windmill. Her precious girl had inherited her father's stubborn will. Lenora sighed. Having children grow and seek their own way was one of the most difficult aspects of parenthood. She and God would need a number of conversations in the days ahead. She must keep her heart and mind open to hear His voice and accept His will for her child, no matter how difficult it may be. The future happiness of her daughter lay at stake.

Chapter 12

A
melia sat at her writing desk, the end of her pen tapping her lips. In the two weeks since Father had said she must forget about Ben, two letters had arrived from him. She had not responded, but his last letter made it now necessary to tell him what had happened. No words would come to mind that truly expressed the mixture of emotions swirling through her heart.

She tried so hard to be obedient to her father's wishes, but her longings for Ben refused to budge from her thoughts. Maeleen had intercepted the letters from Ben and brought them to Amelia. She hated being deceptive, but Papa would be most unhappy to know he still wrote to her. Even this letter would not be with the family mail. She planned to take it to Mary Beth and have her post it, that is if the words to write ever came.

Ben's second letter arrived yesterday, and Maeleen had whisked it up to Amelia immediately. She picked up the paper now and reread the words that gripped her heart in a vise and swept all words of response from her heart. He declared his love for her and said how much he wanted to see her again and wanted to know if his last post had reached her.

She choked back tears and tried to swallow the sadness permeating every part of her body. Her feelings for him had grown stronger since Papa's declaration, but what could she tell Ben as to the reasons she hadn't answered his letters? If it were only possible for them to see each other again in person, then she could express her heart more freely.

Finally she put pen to paper and attempted to explain the scene with her parents. As she wrote, words began to flow from the pen and across the page until she had two pages of words that described her thoughts, her feelings, and her hope that things would change.

She closed with a plea.
Please pray daily for God's will to be done. Only He can change Papa's mind and heart. I believe with all my heart that God will find a way for us to be together.

There, it was done, and it had to be sent right away. She blotted the ink then folded the paper. She picked up an envelope and stamps from her stationery box. After addressing the letter, Amelia placed it in her purse and headed downstairs. She hadn't visited Mary Beth this past week, and today would be a good one to visit and deliver her letter.

At the foot of the stairs she paused and inclined her head toward the parlor. Although the doors were closed, voices still made their way through the walls. Her parents discussed some topic, and Amelia decided not to disturb them. Then Ben's name hit her ears.

Amelia throat constricted, and she stepped closer to the door. She didn't really intend to eavesdrop, but her curiosity as to why Ben's name had been mentioned overruled her convictions, and she listened.

Mama spoke first. “I'm sorry Mr. Haynes has been taken ill. I had no idea it was so serious until Mrs. Farnsworth told me after church yesterday.”

“It looks like the Haynes family will be arriving on Wednesday just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday. Matthew's wire said they'd be in town until his father is better. I'm not sure having the whole group here is what is best for the old man, but if it were my father, I'd want to be by his side.”

Amelia grasped her throat and swallowed hard. Ben was coming back to Boston because of his grandfather's ill health. This was not the way she wanted her prayer answered, but God always had a plan and worked things out in strange ways.

She glanced at the letter in her hand. No need to post it now. Ben would be here before the letter could be delivered in Kansas. She turned and dashed back up the stairs without waiting to learn more. All she needed to know was that Ben was coming.

Lenora twisted her handkerchief through her fingers. Isaac placed his hand on her shoulder. “It will be all right, my dear. Matthew must come to be with his parents during this difficult time. Since the holiday is so near, he had no choice but to bring the entire family with him. It may be the last time they'll see their grandfather.”

She turned tear-filled eyes to his. “It's Amelia I'm worried about. With Benjamin here in Boston, she'll want to see him.”

That had preyed on Isaac's mind, but one could not alter the course of events as God ordained them. He could, however, control the actions of his daughter. “I see no reason for our families not to be together during this time. Elizabeth will need your comfort and support in helping Mrs. Haynes to cope with her husband's illness. We simply will make sure those two young people have no opportunity to be alone together for any length of time.”

“Thank you, Isaac.” She brushed the tip of her nose with her handkerchief. “I've even contemplated having Grace Ann and Billy come stay here to help reduce the burden on the Haynes's household.”

His wife's generosity had always pleased him, and his heart swelled with pride that she would be willing to take in two children to help relieve their mother and Clara of that responsibility. “Perhaps you could ask if that would be a help to them. Clara also will want to stay near her father, so she won't have the time to see to the needs of the children either.”

The Haynes had servants just like his own household, but with the master so gravely ill, seeing to young children would take away from their responsibilities to keep things running smoothly. His concern for the growing relationship between Amelia and Ben would not keep Isaac from offering to help the family of his friend.

Lenora declared, “As soon as they arrive, I will visit Elizabeth and offer our help in any way that it may be needed.”

“That's a good idea, my dear.” He bent and kissed the top of her head. “I admire your desire to be of help, and I will instruct our staff to be ready for the young guests if they should happen to come. They will help you with the burden.”

He strode to the door. “Now I must gather my belongings and return to the office. I shall not be home for the noon meal as I must catch up on some business.” He retrieved his hat and coat from the hall tree. The next few weeks would be most difficult for Matthew, Elizabeth, and Clara, but the Carlyle family would be ready to offer friendship and companionship whenever and wherever it was needed.