American Made (Against the Tides #2) (10 page)

“You might wanna take another look around, mister.” Gentry lifts his head and scans the house through tired eyes. He mumbles under a few choice cuss words under his breath before resting his chin on top of my head. “Did you drive yourself here like this?”

“I don’t remember drivin’,” he mumbles.

I sniff the air, wondering if maybe he stopped by the bar before coming here, but I don’t smell alcohol on his breath. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I shuffle him toward the couch before he falls asleep. I know Knox told me they were out looking for a missing boat and that Gentry had been out longer than him, but I’ve never seen him this exhausted before.

“No,” he protests. “If I sit down I’ll fall asleep and won’t be able to do shit tonight. I love watchin’ you fall apart with my tongue buried inside of you. I wanna do that.”

Every muscle in my body clenches at the thought of him burying his face between my thighs like he does every other night. I feel like he’s put me on a damn pedestal and I don’t like it. My body, on the other hand, loves it. It’s a constant war inside of me but he usually works me into such a frenzy that my mind shuts up completely. 

Shaking off his words, I press my lips against the base of his throat before standing up straight and pushing him onto the couch. “It’s two in the mornin’, you fell asleep standin’ up, and you don’t remember drivin’ here. You’re gonna sit down and get some sleep whether you like it or not.”

Gentry reaches out and grabs my hand, tugging me into his lap. It seems like it takes every last ounce of energy out of him. Dropping his head back against the couch, he locks his arms around me so I can’t move.

“I think I liked it better when you had that sling on and couldn’t push me around. I like the no bra no pants thing, though. That should be an everyday thing.”

Rolling my shoulder, I smile, thankful that I can finally use my arm again. It isn’t one hundred percent yet, but I’ll get there. I slide my fingers into his short hair and tip his head to the side so I can whisper. “I don’t need the use of my arm to push you around, Gentry. I can get what I want by just usin’ my mouth.”

He groans when I drag my teeth over his ear lobe and grind my ass into his lap. Instead of giving in like I expect him to because he’s so tired, he flops to the side, pulling me with him so we’re spread out on the couch. His leg wraps around my thighs, pinning me against him while muttering something about it not being that easy.

As comfortable as I am right now in his arms, this is not what I signed on for. I’ve never been the girl who cuddles while she sleeps. Fuck me and leave, that’s the way it has always been and should be. I don’t want a relationship, I never have. There was no need to get attached only to get upset when I had to walk away because I was deployed. Up until a few years ago I was constantly moving. Anyone that wanted a future with me would have to be OK with that and the fact that there was a chance that I wouldn’t come home to them. I didn’t think it was fair to ask someone to make that sacrifice so I refused to get attached. 

Something about Gentry has me forgetting things. When he touches me the rest of the world melts away. It doesn’t matter if he’s replacing bandages or using his fingers to drive me insane. I lose sight of everything else going on around me and I hate it.

I hate it but at the same time I crave it.

I don’t need it but I want it more every day.

He’s doing exactly what he told me he would and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it now.

Fucking man.

Gentry tucks my head under his chin and sighs. I slide my arms between us so I can push away once I know he’s asleep but he tightens his arms around me again, effectively stopping that plan in its tracks. He stays quiet for so long that I assume he has fallen asleep but I’m wrong.

“I saw your cluster from today,” he mumbles into my hair. “It was perfect. Proud of you.”

I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face but I’m glad he can’t see it. I hate to admit it because I’ve never needed anyone to say those words to me, but it feels good to hear them from him.

“Thanks,” I whisper into his chest. He smells like salt water and I can’t get enough of it.

Dragging his fingers up my arm, he runs them gently over my shoulder. “How’s your arm?”

“How’s that nap workin’ for ya?” I counter.

“Perfect.” He chuckles and I can tell exactly how worn out he is by the sound of it. “My nap is perfect. Your turn.”

I sigh. How can someone go from falling asleep on their feet to chatty Kathy like this? Most people that are dead on their feet sleep when given the chance, not try to have a conversation.

“If you’re gonna ignore the question I’ll just ask it again with more questions on top of it until you give in. So, how’s your arm? Did you have to take pain meds today after shootin’?”

Laughing softly, I tip my head back so I can see him. His eyes are still closed but I know he isn’t going to go to sleep until I answer him. I brush my fingers over the five o’clock shadow on his jaw as I speak.

“My arm is fine, and no, I didn’t take anything for pain. I haven’t for a week or so.”

“That’s good, gorgeous.” He presses his lips against my forehead and releases a breath. “You’ll have no problem gettin’ through tomorrow. That spot’s as good as yours.”

I’m glad he has faith in me because knowing I’m defective has me questioning myself a bit. It’s not that I don’t think I can accomplish everything they will ask me to do, but I’m afraid they’re going to treat me like I’m weak because of what happened.

“You want me to go home, don’t you?” he asks quietly after I get lost in my thoughts.

Do I? That’s a loaded question. I could sit for hours and pick apart all the reasons I can think of that he probably should, or why I would want him to. I could write a mile long pro and con list but I don’t think there’s a need for it right now.

I shake my head, wiggling until I’m comfortable again. “No, I don’t think I do.”

“Good because I’m comfortable with you right there.” He’s quiet for a minute before he starts to chuckle. “I told you that I didn’t need to use my dick to make you mine.”

I close my eyes and ignore him, figuring I might as well sleep since it doesn’t seem like he’s going to let me go any time soon. I’ll deal with the fact that he thinks he’s wearing me down tomorrow. Yeah, I’ll set him straight… tomorrow.

I jerk awake when the couch disappears out from underneath me. For a second I think I’m still dreaming. I hate that fucking dream where you feel like you’re falling. When I finally realize that it’s not a dream, but the couch really is gone, I open my eyes. When I notice that I am in the air I scramble to grab ahold of something and try not to freak out. It takes a second to realize that I’m in Gentry’s arms and I almost hit him before I do.

“Calm down, babe.” His voice soothes me, calming my racing heart. He easily hitches me higher in his arms and I wrap myself around his neck.

“What are you doin’?” I mumble, watching the shadows dance across his face as he makes his way through the house.

“Takin’ you to bed. You shouldn’t have let me keep you on the couch. I woke up and could see the pain on your face.”

He sounds like he’s scolding himself and I hate it. I wasn’t in pain, I was having a nightmare. Nothing new there really. I should tell him, but it’s hard to find the words to tell him about something that I’ve never told anyone about. If they were about what I went through overseas I don’t think I’d have a problem talking about them, but they aren’t. 

“Set me down,” I say when we reach the bottom of the stairs. 

When he doesn’t listen I say it again with more force in my voice. He stops but continues to hold me until I squirm out of his grip. When my feet hit the carpeted step, I move until I’m directly in his face.

“First off, if I was in pain I would have told you to fuck off and taken myself to bed. It was a nightmare. Don’t ask what it was about because I won’t tell you.” I take a deep breath and force myself to keep my eyes on his even though I can tell he’s trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. “There are things about me that I’ve never told anyone and I don’t know if I ever will so don’t take it personally.
This
, whatever the hell
this
is, scares me. It doesn’t scare me for the normal reasons I usually have though and that’s what I’m tryin’ to wrap my mind around. Wanting more isn’t who I am. I don’t want people to want me because everything I’ve ever done made my future uncertain.”

Instead of getting pissed off like I expect, Gentry brushes the hair out of my face and lets his fingers skim down my side before landing on my hip. “You’re not the only one that chose a career that constantly has your life on the line, Emerson. I know what it’s like to wonder if today is the last day I’ll ever have to do everything I want. Knowin’ that you know what you’re gettin’ into is part of what draws me to you.”

“I don’t know how to do any of this,” I admit. “I don’t even know what
this
is.”

“I think this is us pissin’ Knox off a little more.” The smile that he flashes me is gorgeous. It’s infectious and even though I’m scared to death of what I think I just agreed to, I find myself smiling back. “What now?”

Winding my arms around his neck, I press my body against his. “Pick me back up.”

When he grips my hips and lifts, I wrap my legs around his waist and lock my ankles. His fingers slide from my hips to my ass and inch under the lace that I’ve figured out drives him insane. I slam my lips against his, coaxing them apart as he carries me up the stairs. My back hits the wall beside my bedroom door. 

“Shit, you OK?” he asks, suddenly realizing that he slammed my shoulder too. Pulling away from my lips, he watches me to see if I lie to him.

“Fine,” I tell him when I finally realize that I actually am. I expect pain but it doesn’t come. “I’d be better if you were fuckin’ me though.”

I see the wheels turning in his head and instead of waiting for him to deny me again I take things into my own hands. I drop my legs to the floor and push us away from the wall. Grabbing the front of his shirt, I pull him behind me into the bedroom and push him down on the bed. Straddling his hips, I push his chest until he’s flat on his back, following him until we’re chest to chest.

“I refuse to let you tell me no again.”

“You refuse, huh? What do you think you’re gonna do to keep me from sayin’ no?”

“I have my ways,” I whisper, lifting his shirt as I kiss my way down his neck and chest. When I reach his nipple I drag my teeth across it, making him groan. “And if you still insist on tellin’ me no, I’ll just have to tie you down and take what I want.”

“I think that should be the other way around. I’d rather you be tied down.”

“Why’s that, Gentry?” I ask, continuing my descent down his body. I make sure to run my tongue along all the contours of his abs to draw it out. “So you can finally get what you actually want? I thought since you kept sayin’ no to fuckin’ me that you were gettin’ everything you wanted by eatin’ my pussy and jackin’ off in the shower later that night. Was I wrong?”

Gentry pushes up on his elbows, watching my every move as I pop the button on his jeans and drag the zipper down. He’s already hard when I wrap my fingers around his cock and pull it free. I flick my tongue over the head and smile when I hear him swear under his breath. I’ve wanted to do this since the night I met him and now that I’m finally in control I don’t plan on stopping.

“I was tryin’ to prove a point,” he says through clenched teeth.

I run my tongue along the bottom of his shaft, never taking my eyes off of his. “What would that be?”

“That I didn’t have to fuck you to make you mine, remember?”

“Mhm,” I hum, pressing my lips against his hip. “I don’t see you fuckin’ me. You’ve turned me down a lot because of that reason though, and honestly, I’m tired of it. Havin’ you bury your face between my thighs until I scream is great and all, but this—” I slide my lips around his cock and take as much of it into my mouth as I can before pulling back and letting it spring free “— is what I want. I wanna feel your hands in my hair while I suck you deep into my mouth. I wanna hear how good it feels come out of your mouth when I do something you like. I wanna touch you however I want without you stoppin’ me because you’re tryin’ to prove a point, Gentry. But most of all, I wanna feel you slide into me and make me scream while kissin’ me. I want your body to weigh me down as you fuck me.”

“Emerson,” he groans, scrubbing his hands over his face. “You’re killin’ me.”

Instead of responding, I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and draw him back into my mouth. He finally lets go and grabs the back of my head, thrusting his hips at the same time. He hits the back of my throat repeatedly and I hum around him as my eyes start to water.

“Fuck yes. Is this what you want, baby? You like the taste of my cock?” 

Pulling me back by my hair, he waits for me to answer and stands up before thrusting back into my mouth. Yes, this is what I wanted. Sex is easy for me to deal with, everything else is hard. I’ve seen this side of him simmering just below the surface and I wanted it. Everything he does is calculated, I wanted to see him let loose. I push against his hips until he lets go and I look up at him from where I’m kneeling in front of him as I pull my shirt over my head. His breath comes in short hard pants as he watches me.