American Pie (33 page)

"I know you will," she said slowly, watching him. "I think, Stefan, that you have only begun. That you have found whatever it was you were seeking."

For a long moment they said nothing, smiling affectionately at each other across the table, remembering how it began, remembering Greta.

Then Stefan took her hand in his. "What about you, Lucie?" he asked softly. "What do you dream of?"

"I have no dreams."

"I think you do." He waved a hand toward the tubs and the shelves of ingredients. "This isn't what you want, is it? You want what you always have. A home and children. Jamie Kelly."

"Once but that's finished," she whispered, lowering her head.

"Odd," Stefan said, looking at her and raising an eyebrow. "I don't recall agreeing to release either of you from your betrothal. Perhaps you should think about that." Yawning, he rose from the table. "And perhaps you should think about America."

"America?" She looked up and frowned.

"Do you want your slice of the pie, Lucie? Are you hungry enough to go after it?" He stroked her cheek. "I thought you were. I thought nothing would stop you from having your Jamie."

"Good heavens! Is this Stefan Kolska talking?" She blinked.

"I've done a lot of thinking during the last weeks. And I've concluded I was wrong about many things. You were right, Lucie. I brought a closed mind to America. Because of it, I couldn't see opportunity when it kicked at the door. If it wasn't for youand other thingswe might have, missed a future so splendid we can't imagine it yet. America offers everyone an opportunity, but you have to have eyes to see it and a willingness to seize the moment even if it means turning your beliefs upside down. To do this, a manand a womanmust be alert to hidden attitudes, to limitations. We must reevaluate every thought." He lifted her face. "Beginning with pride."

"But, Jamie"

"There are two people involved here, my dear sister. And both are acting as stubborn as mules." He kissed her cheek then moved toward the sleeping room. "Have you talked to him?"

"Chase after a man who doesn't want me?" A horrified look pinched her expression.

Stefan smiled back at her over his shoulder. "Pride, Lucie. Is that Wlad speaking, or the new American woman? How do you know what Jamie's thinking if you haven't spoken to him? Maybe he thinks you don't want him now that you're as rich as the Ropers."

She managed a smile. "We aren't that rich."

"Does Jamie know that?"

Long after the night turned deep and silent, Lucie sat at the kitchen table. Thinking. Getting angrier by the minute. Jamie Kelly, whom she had set her heart on, was as pigheaded as they came. And his pigheadedness was costing her the one thing she wanted. Well, that was not going to happen, not if she had a say in the matter. And she did. This was, after all, America.

The glass men should have arrived an hour ago, Jamie thought irritably. He frowned at the fat flakes of snow flying through the empty ground floor windows. Once the glass was in the ground floor would be closed and he could relax. The thought almost coaxed a smile. He couldn't recall the last time he had genuinely felt at peace. He doubted a few windows would alter his mental state to any meaningful degree. The glass men would come and go and he would still be unsettled, pacing and feeling miserable whenever he thought about Lucie Kolska.

What was she doing today? Had she forgotten him? Did she ever pass a thought for Jamie Kelly?

Unaware he was frowning, he crossed the marble floor lobby to stand before a large fireplace. Removing a pair of heavy gloves, he warmed his hands in front of the flames and watched two workmen carry a bundle of two by fours through the lobby and up the central staircase.

He knew Lucie's cream was a stupendous success. He had met Stefan for a growler of ale several weeks ago and had learned the news. But he had known it before Stefan spoke simply by observing Stefan's appearance. It wasn't the elegant new clothing Stefan wore, it was more his demeanor. This was a man who had found his calling, who finally recognized his path and felt the excitement and challenge of success. They had not spoken of Lucie; pride stopped the questions he wanted to ask.

But he thought of her constantly. She haunted his mind with ghostlike memory. Once, he gave in to his loneliness and his need to see her, and he walked to Elizabeth Street with every intention of rapping on her door. But he halted in the courtyard and could go no farther. He didn't know what to say to her. She was a success; he was not. She and Stefan didn't need him.

In addition he had not altered his conviction that no man worth the name accepted money from a woman. Not even a woman whom he adored, whose loss had carved a hole in his heart. How could he respect himself if he accepted a penny from her? How could he hope she would respect him? How could he ask her to wait years for him to save their marriage money when she herself already banked a hundred times that amount? In the end, angry and wounded, he turned on his heel and forced himself to walk away.

"Damn it!" He stared into the fireplace flames. It would be years before he could launch Kelly's Design and Construction Company, years before he could hope to compete with Lucie's success. She would find someone else, a brownstoner as wealthy as he imagined she now was. And that bastard would hold her in his arms and kiss the smile on her lips. The image was unbearable. Thrusting his hands into his pockets, he kicked at a piece of construction debris and swore out loud.

"Jamie Kelly, I wish to speak to you!"

For a moment he believed he imagined her voice. But he had never heard that tone before. Turning, he lifted his head in astonishment, still not certain if she was real or if he had conjured her from his own longing. But it was Lucie. Against all that was proper, she had come to him.

There was nothing dainty in her movement. She strode toward him like a diminutive hurricane, her hem flaring behind her, a thunderous scowl on her lovely face. To his surprise she wasn't wearing fashionable new clothing as he had supposed she would be, but wore her old coat and mended muffler and the little felt hat she had purchased last winter at the rag fair.

"Lucie!" Hungry for the sight of her his eyes darted over her pink cheeks, the strands of chestnut hair falling from a hastily constructed knot on her neck, her ripe angry mouth. Though he had sworn he remembered her exactly, he had forgotten how truly beautiful she was. Even as upset as she seemed to be, the sight of her was enough to take his breath away.

"I have some things to say to you, Jamie Kelly," she said, stopping in front of him and placing her gloved hands on her hips.

Jamie was too astounded to speak.

"First, I want you to know what a cad I think you are! What kind of man pledges himself then vanishes into the night? You didn't ask Stefan to release you from your pledge. You didn't ask me, either! Whether you like it or not, we are still betrothed."

"You think I'm a cad?" He blinked at her, stunned by the abrupt realization that she was right. He had not handled this situation at all properly. A flush of discomfort and embarrassment heated his cheeks.

"Second, you are the most selfish man in America!"

"Selfish?" He felt like a fool repeating her words, but he was too surprised to do anything else.

"Yes, selfish! Look at me, Jamie Kelly." She pointed a gloved finger to her eyes, then at her dripping hair. "I'm exhausted. I work from dawn until midnight every day. And so does Stefan. We need help. We need a partner. But can you be bothered to help people who believed you were a friend they could rely on? No. You're too wrapped up in your own concerns. We need someone to manage the business, the books, the hiring of extra people, leasing a warehouse and a thousand other vital details we're too busy, too inexperienced and too exhausted to see to!"

"But you look beautiful!"

"Bunkum! I look as tired as I am. As tired as you would look if you were trying to manage Kelly's Design and Construction Company with only two people. But that isn't a problem is it, Jamie? Because you're too proud to seize your dream if it means accepting a hand up from someone else." She stamped her boot on the marble floor. "You would rather delay or abandon your dream than hasten it by participating in my dream or Stefan's. It has to be your way or no way at all. Even if that means you can't have your dream for years and years. God forbid a crack should appear in your precious pride!"

"Lucie "

For a moment she looked like the Lucie he knew. Then she lifted her hand. "No, don't interrupt me, or I'll lose my nerve and I won't say what needs to be said." She drew a deep breath and the bosom he remembered so well rose against her coat. "Once you said 'the time may come when Stefan must swallow his pride and accept assistance from a friend.' You said that, Jamie. If you really believed your own words, then why can't you accept a bit of assistance from a friend. Why can't you join us and help us and in the process achieve your own dreams much sooner?"

"I said that?"

"You also promised that you and I would be happy for each other's success. But you've taken yourself away to sulk."

"Grown men don't sulk!" he said, stung.

"Grown men don't let pride stand in the way of their happiness! At least any man I'd want doesn't!" Her chin lifted and her dark eyes flashed. "You just think about that, Jamie Kelly. You ask yourself why my success should diminish you! What does one thing have to do with the other?" All at once the fire died in her eyes and her shoulders drooped. "Oh, Jamie." Then she looked at him with such despair that he reached for her.

But she moved out of his grasp. "Don't you see? Don't you think Stefan would trade all the pride in the world for one more day with Greta? Do you think he would care a fig if Greta had more money than he if he could just have her back again? Is your pride so important that you would throw aside all we've been through together, all we meant to each other? Would you rather find someone else and begin again?"

Shock darkened his eyes. "There could never be anyone else!"

"But there isn't me, either," she said simply, looking at him. "You and I are as lost to each other as Stefan and Greta. Is that what you want, Jamie?" When he didn't speak she spread her gloves, let them fall. "You loved me when I was poor. Can't you love me when I'm not?"

"Stated like that, you make me sound like a fool!"

"Well, you're behaving like one." She stared up at him, then, like an actress offering an aside to the audience, she cast a look over her shoulder and leaned forward to whisper, "I don't think I can keep this up much longer. The settlement house said Americans assert themselves, but it is difficult, you know."

"I imagine so," he said stupidly, blinking at her.

She squared her shoulders and recalled her scowl. "I've swallowed my pride by coming here. I hope you will rethink your pride. Stefan and I need you." She started walking backward toward the door and the snow blowing outside. "I love you, Jamie Kelly. I always will. If the only way to appease you is to give the business to Stefan and live in poverty until you are ready to wed, then I'm willing to do so." She was almost at the door.

"To walk away from your success and a splendid future would be idiotic!"

"Yes, it would be. But that appears to be the only way you'll have me, as idiotic as it is. For poorer, not for richer." Glaring at him she placed her boot through the door. "I want you to think about our situation, Jamie, and make a decision. Join us, tell me to leave the business, or ask Stefan to release you from your pledge." She turned and ran out the door.

He stared at the empty space, still seeing her though she had gone. And he knew everything she had said was correct. But still his beliefs were deeply rooted, not easily altered. A pounding headache formed behind his forehead.

Lucie half hoped, half expected Jamie would follow her back to Elizabeth Street. But he didn't.

During the next few days she kept an eye on the window, interrupting the stirring and filling to peek down at the street.

By the end of the week she finally, painfully, accepted that Jamie would not come to her. In the end his pride was greater than his love for her. That was the tragedy, the knowledge that broke her heart. Because he did love her. She had seen the joy leap in his eyes when she first appeared in the construction lobby. She had seen his love for her a thousand times and she could not doubt it. But his pride was more important.

Only now did she admit she had never completely given up, or wholly believed they would never be together again. She had grieved for him, yes. She had missed him and ached for him. But somewhere at the back of her mind, she had cherished a stubborn belief that her loss was temporary. One day he would return.

Now she began to understand that Jamie would not return. Bending over the tub on the stove, stirring it with the large wooden paddle, she tried to comprehend how she could have misjudged him so badly. She had believed that, given enough time, reason would triumph. She had believed Jamie Kelly was a man whose personal integrity would not allow a false premise for long. A man who could sort out his thinking and arrive at a reasonable, if uncomfortable, conclusion. She had believed in him and in their love for each other.

When a knock sounded at the door she wiped the perspiration from her brow and called, "Come in." It was the delivery boy Stefan had hired yesterday. Without turning from the stove she said, "Put the boxes anywhere. I'll sort them out later."

"As you say, lass. But it seems to me, you're needing more space. There's scarcely room to turn about in here."

"Jamie!" Dropping the paddle, she whirled from the stove.

"Stefan didn't tell you?"

"He said he'd hired a new delivery boy, but"

Jamie rolled his eyes and grinned. "A delivery boy, is it! Last night I signed papers buying into the Kolska partnership." He touched his tie. "As I'm temporarily short of funds, the agreement states my share of profits will go toward the purchase price until we're square. That is, if you agree. Stefan must intend to review the documents with you tonight. I thought he would last night. I guess he decided I should tell you myself"