Amish Breaking Point (5 page)

Chapter 9.

Without counsel purposes are disappointed:

but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

Proverbs 15:22

The next day, after milking was over, Bailey borrowed the buggy to go into town. He peeped into Crowley’s office and saw him behind his desk looking through some papers with a large coffee mug in his hand.

Crowley looked up. “Rivers, what brings you here?”

As Bailey approached his desk, he noticed that Detective Crowley’s eyes ran up and down him. Bailey looked down at his clothes. “I guess this is the first time you’ve seen me in these Amish clothes.”

Crowley nodded. “So what brings you here?”

Bailey sat down in the chair opposite the detective. “I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me find my father and my mother.”

Crowley picked up a pen and a notepad. “Tell me more.”

Bailey took a deep breath and wondered where to begin. “I lost touch with my father when I left home, years ago. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My mother moves often. She gave me her most recent address by email, but when I joined the Amish I deleted my email account, forgetting about her email.” Bailey shrugged.

The detective nodded, and his forehead wrinkled while he jotted some notes. “Names of your parents?”

Bailey gave Crowley his parents’ names and last known addresses.

“I’ll look into it.” Crowley threw the notepad down on his desk. “Are you trying to find them to invite them to your wedding?”

Bailey smiled. “I haven’t been close to them and wouldn’t want them to come to the wedding. Well, maybe just my mother, if she wanted to come.”

Crowley stared at Bailey and nodded slowly. “I’m not close to my family either. Tell me, how is it that you’re related to Elsa-May and Ettie?”

“My grandfather was their brother. He left the community when he was a young man. He used to take me back to his old
familye
farm, but he never took me to meet any of his relatives. I only met Elsa-May and Ettie at his funeral. Someone told them that he had died, and they came. They were the only ones who came from the community.”

Crowley chuckled. “He mustn’t have been too close to his family either. Coffee?”

"Yes, with cream and sugar please."

Crowley picked up his phone and asked the junior officer to make them coffee. When he set back the receiver he said, “Rivers, that’s not an Amish name, is it?”

“My mother’s maiden name was Hilty. The Amish came down my mother’s side. It was my mother’s father who was Amish; his name was Jonah.”

Crowley scowled. “I find family history a waste of time.”

Bailey laughed. Instincts told him that Crowley would not be bothered with family. Bailey saw the detective as someone who lived a lonely life, someone who would go home to a cat and a TV dinner– maybe minus the cat, a cat would be too much bother for him. “Is your family from around here?”

Crowley nodded. “Have you asked Elsa-May and Ettie to see what they can find out?”

“I’m just off to see them when I leave here.”

Crowley was just about to say something when a young constable came in with two coffees.

“Here you go, sir.” The young woman placed a coffee in front of Crowley and one in front of Bailey. She took up the empty coffee mug on Crowley’s desk.

“That’ll be all for now thanks, Jones.”

Once the dark-haired constable was out of the room, Cowley fixed his eyes back onto Bailey. “I didn’t realize you’ve only just met your aunts. I thought you would have known them for years.”

Bailey took a mouthful of coffee, and then said, “No. I found them so nice I didn’t know why my granddad kept away from them for so long.”

After Crowley had swallowed his mouthful, he said, “Why did your grandfather leave the Amish?”

Bailey had to smile. Crowley had hit a sore spot. He wished he knew what happened to make his grandfather leave the Amish all those years ago. “I have no idea; even his sisters don’t seem to know why he left.”

Crowley said nothing and slurped his coffee loudly. Then Crowley leaned back into his high-backed swivel chair.

Bailey placed his mug down on the desk after taking a sip. “I’ve always meant to ask you. How did you come to know Elsa-May and Ettie?”

“They’ve helped me and I’ve helped them. Have done so for a number of years now.”

Bailey did not press Crowley for more information figuring he’d find out another day. For now, the only thing he was interested in was finding his mother and his father. “I won’t hold you up. I’ll give you the phone number of where I’m staying. It’s my friend, Jack’s house.” Bailey scribbled the phone number down and handed it to the detective.

“Very good, I’ll look into it later today.”

“Thanks, Crowley. I appreciate it.”

Bailey looked at the clock on the side of Detective Crowley’s office. He had enough time to get to Elsa-May and Ettie’s house before he had to get the buggy back to Jack and Pamela.

* * *

“Bailey, this is a nice surprise. Elsa-May, Bailey’s here.” Ettie called out to her older
schweschder
while pulling Bailey into the small
haus
and shutting the door. “Tea?”

“
Jah
, tea would be nice.” Bailey sat in a hard wooden chair while Ettie disappeared into the kitchen.

Elsa-May flurried into the room. “
Wie Ghet’s
?”

“I’m well, aunty, and you?”

“Fine, what brings you here?”

“I’ve a few questions for you and Ettie.”

Elsa-May nodded. “Well, we’ll wait for Ettie to come back with the tea. How are you enjoying staying with Jack?”

Bailey’s limbs still had not become accustomed to the hard work of the farm. He wondered how Jack could do it all, day in and day out. “I’m enjoying staying there, but it’s hard work on the farm. Even Pamela has a huge workload, not just looking after the children, there are the pigs, the chooks, the vegetables, and I don’t know how either of them do it.”

“The life of a farmer is a hard one, but it’s good to bring children up on a farm so they can work hard and learn to cooperate with people.”

Ettie hurried in with a pot of meadow tea and three teacups and saucers. She set it down on a small table and began to pour the tea. “I heard you say to Elsa-May that you have questions for us.” Ettie handed him his tea.

“
Denke,
ant
.” Bailey took a deep breath, balancing the tea on his knees. “I’ve some questions about my grandfather and my parents.”

Elsa-May and Ettie looked at each other.

“Is there something that you’re not telling me?”

“You haven’t asked us anything yet,” Elsa-May said.

Bailey wondered what they knew that they were being cagey about; he knew that they knew something. “First thing I’ve always wanted to know is why did my grandfather leave the Amish and never go back to visit his family? Was he shunned?”

Elsa-May glanced at Ettie and said, “
Nee
; he wasn’t shunned.”

“Then why? He would take me back to his family’s land, and we fished in the old creek. If he loved the land so much, why wouldn’t he stop by to visit his
familye
?”

Ettie opened her mouth to speak, but Elsa-May butted in. “He was stubborn. He made the decision to leave, and he might have thought if he went back, even just for a visit, someone might try and talk him into staying.”

Elsa-May stared at him, and Bailey looked to Ettie, who put her teacup up to her lips and took a sip. He wondered if that were true, or was there something that they were leaving out?

“So, he left and sometime later he got married and had my mother?” Bailey took a sip of tea.

Elsa-May said, “We had no contact with him after he left.”

“Your mother contacted us though,” Ettie said.

Elsa-May turned and glared at her
schweschder.

“Well, he’s got a right to know, Elsa-May, what’s the use of keeping secrets from him after all this time?”

Elsa-May pressed her lips together, and her eyes shot back to Bailey. “All right. Your mother contacted us when you were seven or eight. I think your grandfather told her where we lived.”

“
Jah
, and we don’t know how he knew that because Elsa-May and I had only just moved in to live with each other in this very
haus
.”

Elsa-May twisted her body toward her
schweschder
and frowned. “Do you want to tell him, or shall I? You’re always interrupting me.”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt, Elsa-May. I just wanted to tell Bailey that bit.”

Elsa-May sighed and continued. “Your
mudder
came here with you and we put you both up here for weeks.”

Bailey blinked hard. “I stayed here?”

The elderly ladies both nodded.

“I have no memory of it at all. I thought the first time I met you two was at my grandfather’s funeral. I did think the garden out the front looked familiar though.”

“You played in the garden all the time. Your mother and father had a turbulent relationship. She didn’t give us details, just said she couldn’t stay with your grandfather because your father would have found you there,” Ettie said.

“So she was scared of my father?”

Elsa-May nodded. “Seems so.”

Ettie added, “That’s what we thought. She knew that he would never find you here.”

“Where did she go when she left here?” Bailey asked.

“She left you here one day. She must have gone to speak to him because he drove her back here and she came in to get you. Your father waited in his car. She said that everything was sorted out and that he had changed, and he had made her promises.” Elsa-May leaned down and picked up her knitting.

Bailey blew out a deep breath, and his shoulders drooped.

“What do you know of your father?” Ettie asked.

“I trust that I can confide in you two?” The elderly ladies nodded. “I’ve been having nightmares, which are memories of my past replaying – I’ve just learned. I saw my father kill someone behind my house. I saw him and remember he locked me in a cupboard for what could have been days, maybe weeks. I remember my mother crying for him to let me out.”

Ettie and Elsa-May looked at him, open-mouthed.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to shock you,” Bailey said, wondering if he should have kept the information to himself.

“
Nee
, that’s quite alright. We thought that violence might have been involved, but we didn’t know what to do about it, did we, Elsa-May?”

Elsa-May shook her head. “
Nee
, now I wished we would have done something. We kept you in our prayers.”

“
Denke
. Of course, I didn’t tell Crowley any of this, but I did go to see him to ask him to locate my parents, both of them. My mother emailed me her new address some time ago, but I closed down the email account. I haven’t spoken to my father in probably fifteen or even twenty years; I have no idea where he is.”

   “When you were working for the FBI, did you look up your father, to see if he had a record of convictions?” Elsa-May asked.

Bailey shook his head. “These memories have only just surfaced. I’ve had bad dreams for years, but then these dreams became more frequent and clearer. I went to someone for hypnotherapy, and the images became clearer.” Bailey rubbed his neck. “He couldn’t have a record because my family history would have been looked into before I joined the FBI.”

“What would you like Ettie and me to do?”

“I’d do it myself, but I’m kind of caught up with helping Jack at the farm. I was hoping you could research old papers at the library, just on the off chance that there might be an article written about him. See if there’s anything in the papers about him killing a man. Or, anything about him at all.”

“Covering what time period?” Ettie asked.

“I can’t even give you that. Apparently you two know more than I do.”

“Of course we’ll help out in any way we can,” Elsa-May said.

Bailey smiled. “Thank you.” He took another sip of tea. He had Crowley working on finding his mother and father, and now he had his old aunties on the job of finding out about his father’s history.

“I thought if I could speak to my father and my mother, I could finally put the pieces of my life together.” Bailey said.

His two aunts smiled at him.

Bailey stood up. “Well, thank you for the tea. I’d better get back to help Jack with the afternoon milking.”

Chapter 10.

He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul:

but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.

 
The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom;

and before honour is humility.

Proverbs 15:32-33

Bailey headed back to the farm and wondered how Jack would cope without him when he wasn’t there anymore. Before Bailey came to stay with him, Jack had employed local farm hands. Bailey was pleased to be able to help him out. He still had no idea what he would do after he married Silvie. Maybe he could help Jack out for a little while longer.

Bailey knew that Jack would have been pleased that he had five sons. Sons would grow up to be a real help to him on the farm. He turned the buggy off the road and into Jack’s property and stopped to open the gate. Once he had closed the gate behind him, he clip clopped down the long drive to the
haus.
He passed the pigpens where he saw the children playing; then he passed the garden where Pamela was shoveling and then he drove the buggy straight into the large barn.

“There you are.” Jack was leaning over a wheelbarrow. “I’ll give you a hand.”

Jack helped Bailey unhitch the buggy and then Bailey rubbed the horse down before putting him back into his stable.

“How old do the boys have to be before they can help with the milking?” Bailey asked.

“Around twelve, I’d say. I think I was around eleven or twelve when I started helping with the milking. They help Pamela feed the pigs; they feed the chooks and water the vegetables. They do a lot already. Joseph’s nearly ready to come with us and watch what we do, when he’s not in
skul
of course.”

“Yeah, but some of the cows can be dangerous, can’t they?” Bailey laughed. “Some of them scare me sometimes.”

“Mostly the young ones who’ve just had their calves taken away from them can be vicious.” Jack laughed. “That’s why I do those ones. You know, the ones I put the leg rope on?”

“Arr, I’ve seen you do that. You give me the easy ones?”

“Do you want to have a go at some of the others?”

Bailey shook his head. “I’ve enough trouble with the good ones.”

Jack chuckled and sent his black and white dog to fetch the cows. It never ceased to amaze Bailey that as soon as Jack gave the order, his dog ran to the cows and rounded them up from the lower field, and within minutes the cows were gathered in the upper field. Every now and again there was a stubborn cow that Jack would have to shoo up.

As Bailey and Jack wandered to the stalls, Bailey’s thoughts turned back to his aunts
.
Why did he have the feeling that they were still keeping some information from him?

* * *

After Bailey left Elsa-May and Ettie’s
haus
, Ettie shut the door and she and Elsa-May looked at each other.

Ettie was the first to speak. “Why didn’t you tell him?”

“I thought you would’ve said something.”

Ettie shook her head, and they both wandered back to their chairs.

“It’s a wonder no one in the community has told him by now,” Ettie said.

“The only ones who would remember would be our age. There aren’t too many people left of our age.” Elsa-May leaned down and picked up her knitting from her knitting box by her feet.

“The bishop would know, but he has chosen not to tell him, so do you think it’s a
gut
idea that we tell him?” Ettie asked.

“I think we should be the ones to tell him. We’ll see what we can find out for him at the library and next time we see him we’ll tell him.” Elsa-May looked up from her knitting.

Ettie nodded in agreement then she stooped over and took the tray of tea back to the kitchen.

* * *

When Bailey woke the next morning, he was pleased that he had not had one bad dream or one nasty flash before his eyes that night. He seemed also to be awake before Jack, and that was a most rare occurrence.

Bailey groaned as he stumbled into the kitchen. He clenched his eyes shut tight then reached for the matches and lit a gas lamp. The lamp flooded the kitchen with light, as it was still pitch black outside. Even that aggravating rooster wasn't up yet, which was a first since he had come to stay with Jack. It was only 4:30 in the morning.

Bailey rummaged around until he found a sizable frying pan and set it on the stove, firing it up. While this time of the morning was completely alien to him, Jack and the kids would be starting their morning shortly. The children often woke at the same time as Jack to get their chores done before
skul.

He pulled out the eggs and flour to make pancakes and bacon, and set them out across the counter. His mind drifted as he mixed up the batter. He understood why Jack and the children would get up so early. It was a restful time of day. It was almost strange how quiet it was compared with the city.

Bailey nearly jumped out of his skin as the stovetop coffee pot gave a loud click and grumble as it heated up. The silence of the morning made it sound as loud as an air-horn in his ears.

He took in several deep breaths, surprised to find that his heart pounded. As he ladled batter onto the hot pan, he heard the distant sound of feet shuffling upstairs. Outside a dog barked and some of the cows made noises. Just like that, the magic of the early dawn disappeared, leaving the sound of the day starting.

“You're up early.” Jack yawned as he made his way into the kitchen, already in faded work clothes and thick collared shirt. He shuffled over to the coffee pot, eyeballing the fill line before pouring it into his favorite well-worn cup.

“Me?” Bailey chuckled as he kept an eye on the bubbling cakes. “You guys are the ones up early. I can’t believe that I’ve gotten used to these early starts. I’m even starting to enjoy getting up before the sun’s up.”

“Gets easier with practice.” Jack responded as he sipped the coffee. “Lots of practice.”

“And poor man's espresso apparently.” Bailey grinned, seeing Jack’s extra black coffee.

Jack frowned slightly and looked into his coffee as though he had something on his mind and then he said, “Everything going alright with you, Bailey?”

“Sure. Just a few more weeks until the wedding. I have to admit that I'm nervous,” Bailey said as he poked at the pancakes. “How do the kids like their eggs?”

“They'll eat eggs any way you want to make them.” Jack studied Bailey over his coffee cup. “Heard you calling out in your sleep during the night.”

Bailey poked at the pancakes as he spoke. “I didn't think I had any nightmares last night.”

“
Jah,
you did. You settled pretty quickly. I decided not to wake you.” Jack swished his drink in his mug. “You seem to have something bigger than the wedding on your mind lately.”

“Thank you for recommending that doctor to me, he seems to be helping.”

“Everyone needs a little help every now and again.”

Bailey had to smile a little. That was Jack. Trying to solve the problems of the world, while looking after a farm, a family and raising five bustling boys. “Don't think there's much that can be done. Just got to let it run its course I guess. Not sure what else I can do about it.”

“What's been going on?”

“I want to be rid of the dreams before Silvie and I got married. But I don't know if that's going to happen. I'll just have to pray and hope that all turns out well.”

“What are your dreams about? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“You got enough to fuss with without worrying about any of that,” Bailey said quickly, flipping the golden pancakes onto a plate. To his relief, the conversation was interrupted by a stampede of feet barreling down the stairs.

It was like a small hurricane of hands and feet as kids scurried around, checking lunches and eyeing the pancakes. Jack went into
Daed
mode, calling out tasks and keeping one of the boys out of the utility room. Dishes were set; butter and milk were on the table in record time over a dull roar of overlapping chatter. There was a rush of activity and noise as the children sat up to the table. Jack called for order, and Bailey was surprised how quickly the hush swept across the children. Bailey had already noticed how polite and well behaved all the Amish children were and Jack and Pamela’s children were no exception.

Bailey grinned at the scene. At least he would have Silvie to help when it came time to raise young ones of his own. Pamela slept in, if you could call waking up at 6 a.m. sleeping in, until Jack left the house for the morning milking; then she would take over watching the children and getting the older ones ready for
skul.

A wail rang out, and Bailey whirled around to see that young Simon had fallen off his chair and grazed his skin on one knee.

Jack rushed to his son. “Bailey, will you get me the iodine out of the utility room?”

“Sure.” Bailey hurried toward the room and opened the door. He stared into the small room and was immediately drawn back into the past to a time where he was kept in a small room just like this one.

You stay in there, boy. Don't you make a sound now.
Bailey’s blood turned to ice as he could hear the voice as clear as day, yet he knew it was only in his mind. He knew what it was to feel trapped in a room as small as this one. He knew the feel of a rough wood floor under his hands.

“That son of...” Bailey raked his hands into his hair, pulling hard to use the pain to bring him back to the present.

“Bailey, the iodine.”

Bailey jolted back to the present. “Coming up.” He looked around the utility room and turned his attention to a high shelf with bottles of lotions and potions. “Got it.” Bailey raced to Jack with a clean cotton wool swab and the bottle of iodine.

Jack dabbed some on his son’s knee. “There you go, as good as new. Now you lot finish off your breakfast and no more rocking on your chair, Simon.”

It took them no time at all to polish off their pancakes and then they were out the door in a flash.

Bailey poured Jack another cup of coffee. Jack always had two cups before starting his day.

“What happened to you just now? Did you have another one of your flashes?”

Bailey nodded.

“He killed him, Jack.”

“What was that?”

In a low voice so the children could not hear, he told Jack that his nightmares were memories and he told him what they were about. “He killed him. He killed...” The disjointed dreams tormented him once more, replaying over in his mind. He had run from his father, but not fast enough. His father dragged him to a small room in the house and locked him in there for what could have been days, maybe even weeks. “Memories from long ago, that’s what my dreams were. I saw my father take the life of a man. I ran, my father caught me and locked me away for a time.”

Jack stared at Bailey with eyes wide open. “Did the doctor help you remember?”

Bailey nodded.