Amplify (21 page)

I reach my bungalow and drop my bag inside, put on a pair of yoga pants and a bikini top, throw my hair up into a messy bun, and grab my sunglasses and ebook reader before heading out to the hammock.

I ease myself onto the swaying net and lie back, letting a breath of relief escape. I’m so fucking tired. I’ve gotten a handful of hours of sleep in the last couple of weeks and it’s wearing me down big time.

"Miss Sera," the young server approaches.

"Hi Javier."

He smiles and bows slightly. Such a sweetheart. "Can I get you anything? A beverage? A fruit plate, perhaps?" he looks at me knowingly.

I sigh. He’s been trying to get me to eat since I got here and I keep denying him. This time, I won’t. I’ll force myself to eat. Maybe then I’ll get a peaceful rest.

"You know what? That sounds wonderful, Javier. You bring me something wonderful and refreshing and I promise to eat every bite," I tell him with a smile.

"Excellent. I’ll be back shortly, Miss Sera."

"Thank you, Javier."

"It is my pleasure."

I smile slightly. It’s not much and I only seem to do so with Javier. He’s been trying so hard to take care of me. How can I not be happy with him around?

I turn on my ebook reader and pull up the latest from Harper Bentley. I fell in love with her writing with El and Jag and now she’s brought me the hotness that is Gable. He may be an asshole, but he’s a
hot
asshole.

A little while later, Javier returns with a tray of food, juice and soda. I sit up in the hammock and Javier pulls a table close to the side, resting the food on it.

"That looks delicious," I tell the good-looking server.

"I brought you fresh fruit, fresh heavy cream for your berries, some bread and some of this dipping mix our chef is famous for. He assures me you will enjoy your snack."

"I’m sure I will. Thank you so much."

I try to tip Javier but he’s not having any of it.

"No, no, Miss Sera. It’s already been taken care of," he tells me with a smile.

I frown. "But—"

"Enjoy," he says, bowing slightly, and walking away.

Strange, but since when has anything in my life been normal? I take the glass of juice and the soda and set them on the table, then heft the tray of goodness onto the hammock with me. I read and feast and drink until I’m full. Carbs and fruit—my favorite.

When I’m finished, I set the tray back on the table, and lay back with my book. It isn’t long before I drift off to sleep.

"Serafina," mama scolds.

I look up. "What’d I do mama?"

Her arms are crossed and her stance is rigid. "You didn’t listen to your heart as we told you."

"I did, and look where it got me," I sass.

"It got you where you belonged. Your stubbornness and constant need to run away from anything that scares you got you
here
," she admonishes.

"Mama, you don’t know—"

"Oh, I know. I know all of it. I also know you didn’t give him a chance to explain, now did you?"

"Explain what, exactly? That he thinks the worst of me? That he thinks I’m going to sleep around when my heart belongs to him?" I yell. Oh, God. I yelled at my mother.

I needn’t have worried; she yells back, "Didn’t you think the same thing of him?"

I bite back a scathing retort.

"Well, didn’t you? I’m pretty sure you did."

"It was the truth," I bite out.

"Was it? Don’t you think that, just as he did with you, appearances could have been deceiving?" mama questions.

"No. I know they were together at least once."

"Do you know the circumstances?"

"I don’t want to know the details, mother," I tell her smartly.

She scoffs. "No one is telling you details, merely circumstances. You might want to find those out before you go judging him in a way he didn’t judge you."

"But he did—"

She shakes her head. "Tell me when, exactly. When did he judge you? Was it when you were pregnant and didn’t tell him? Was it when you were pregnant and he knew about it, thought it could possibly be Ben’s baby but loved you and that child so much he didn’t care? Or was it when he held you all the way to the hospital, pressing the towel between your legs, trying to stop you from hemorrhaging to death? Maybe it was when he told you he loved you and asked you to be his wife. His wife, Serafina! Out of all those circumstances when did Cage Nichols once judge you?"

"But he thought—"

"Ah, he may have thought it was
possible
, but he never accused nor did he judge you for it," she reminds me.

I bite my tongue, feeling more than a little ashamed of my behavior.

"If you’re going to love him, Sera, you’re going to need to trust him."

"I do."

She shakes her head, her long hair blowing in the breeze. "No. Not the way you need to when you love someone."

"I love him with all that I am, mama, but—"

"Stop." She holds up a hand then points a finger at me. "In love, there are no ‘buts’."

"Oh mama," I sniffle, then I start to cry. Hard, body shaking sobs.

"Why would you believe one word that witch says to you?" she asks.

I sigh. "I’m afraid."

She nods. "I know you are. It’s time you admitted it. Now tell me why."

I shrug and continue to sob against her shoulder.

"Tell me why, Serafina," she coaxes softly.

This is my mommy. I can tell her everything I’m afraid to admit to myself and know she’ll help me through it. I take a steadying breath.

"If I let myself love him completely, trust him completely—what if something happens to him, mama?"

"Oh baby girl, nothing is going to happen to him."

"You can’t know that."

She nods. "What if something did happen to him? Wouldn’t you rather spend the time he’s here with him, loving him, being happy and building memories with him than being at odds and fighting what you already know you both want and need?" she asks, pulling me into a hug.

"Oh mama," I sob.

"There, there, Serafina. Trust in your heart, trust love, trust Cage, and most of all trust yourself. You always know who is worth your trust and who is not. It’s your gift. Use it," she whispers. "Trust it."

I nod against her shoulder. "I know I need to. But mama—"

She presses a finger to my lips. "No. You save your questions for him. He knows the answers and I think it’s time you asked him for them, don’t you? Isn’t it time to stop dancing in circles around each other and start walking in a straight line?"

I nod and she wipes my cheeks. She smiles softly and brushes a loose strand of hair off of my face.

"I must go."

"So soon?"

She nods. "Be ready," she tells me, then disappears.

I open my eyes and the sun is starting to set. I look around. Javier must have come by and picked up the tray and while he did, he covered me with a thin blanket.

I need a shower and then it’s time for dinner. Javier is right. I need to start eating. If it’s anything like my fruit and bread tray, I’m all for it.

I
’M STEPPING OUT OF
the bathroom after sweeping my hair up in a clip when there’s a knock on the door.

I open it to find Javier.

"Javier, what can I do for you?"

"You look beautiful. Are you ready?" he asks.

I look down at my white gauzy sundress and wedge sandals. Nothing fancy.

"Am I ready for what?"

"The gathering on the beach. Dinner is ready for you," he tells me, ushering me out the door.

"My purse—"

"You will not need it," he says and starts walking.

"But—"

"Come, Miss Sera," he instructs with a wave of his hand and I hurry along to catch up to him. He’s walking so fast down the path, every couple steps I have to run a little.

"What’s this about, Javier?" I ask.

"We are almost there."

"Almost where?" I ask as he steps into a clearing a good half of a city block ahead of me.

"Here," he pronounces with a soft smile and a sweeping of his arm.

"I’m not sure—" I’m stunned speechless by the sight before me. There’s a table for two surrounded by candles in the shape of a heart with a bungalow in the background and a cabana off to the side, music playing softly—the perfect romantic setting.

I frown. "I think you’ve mistaken me for another guest," I tell Javier, but notice he’s already gone.

"No, there’s no mistaking you for anyone else, Fee."

I gasp as Cage steps out of the shadows wearing white pants in the same fabric as my dress, the material rolled up to just above his ankles—and that’s it. No shirt. No shoes. My mouth goes dry. Then it clicks. How the hell did he find me? And what the fuck is he doing here? Where’s his Carina?

I say nothing but I cross my arms over my chest.

"Nothing to say to me, Serafina?"

I say nothing when I have so much to say.

He doesn’t smirk as he steps forward, coming toward me slowly, with a predatory gleam in his eye.

"I think there’s so much you need to say to me, Serafina. Why don’t we start with why the fuck you ran again," he tells me harshly, standing a mere foot away from me.

"I don’t have to explain myself to you."

"Now
there’s
where you’re wrong." My head snaps up and I meet his gaze. "I’m tired of you telling me what
you
think needs to be done. Now, let
me
tell
you
what needs to be done."

"Who do you think—"

"No. I gave you a chance to speak. You chose not to, so now you’re going to listen," he tells me, stepping closer, his chest all I can see. He tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "No more bullshit, Fee. This time we lay the cards on the god damn table—every last fucking one of them."

Whoa. He’s seriously pissed. Cage doesn’t swear like this unless he’s hit a limit. Apparently I’ve pushed him to it, but he’s pushed me there too—well, no. Carina did.

"You don’t—"

"I will put a gag in your mouth. Don’t test me. My patience, every last bit of it, is fucking gone. Do you know why, Sera?"

I shake my head and swallow hard.

"Because once again you’ve run away."

I open my mouth and he raises a brow. I close it and he nods.

"Have a seat."

"I’d rather stand."

He shrugs. "Suit yourself." He takes a seat in one of the chairs and pours himself a glass of champagne. "Drink?" he asks.

I nod and he fills the glass. I walk over to the table and pick it up, then perch on the end of the chair, ready for anything, because Cage has never taken this tone with me before and I have no idea what it means.

"You left—again—after an altercation with Carina... before clarifying with me anything she said to you. How many times does this make?" he mutters aloud. I don’t think he wants me to really answer so I don’t.

"I want you to tell me what you think is going on between me and Carina."

I shake my head.

"You will tell me," he says harshly.

I open my mouth, then close it. "You’re together."

"And what are you to me then, Fee?"

"Your duty."

"My duty?" he asks and I nod. His nostrils flare. He stands up, hands braced on the table. "My duty?" he asks louder, disbelief evident in the tone.

I nod again.

"My fucking duty?" He slams a fist on the table. "Are you fucking kidding me right now, Sera?"

"No."

"You actually believe that?"

I bite my lip and he nods.

"I’ll tell you what she is to me. Nothing. No one. A waste of god damn air and space."

I gape at him.

"Surprised? You shouldn’t be," he tells me without waiting for my answer. "I’ve told you this numerous times. So many fucking times, Sera. And this time you. Are. Going. To. Listen." He bites out each word, his eyes blazing, leaving no room for argument.

I just blink.

"She is nothing to me.
Nothing.
You heard that, right?" he asks mockingly.

I don’t respond.

"Did you hear me?" he asks again, his tone hard.

I nod and he nods in return.

"Good. Nod or shake your head so I can make sure you’re hearing me this time."

I want to be a smartass to him because he’s getting my temper to rise in spite of the bite of fear he’s arousing in me—and yes, arousing is the correct word. God he’s sexy when he’s authoritative and commanding.

"I have security cameras in the house. You remember that, right?"

I nod.

"I heard what she said to you and it was bullshit. One hundred percent
bullshit.
Not one single word of what she told you is true."

My jaw is gaping again.

"Did you hear me, Sera? Because I don’t want to have any misunderstandings about this later," he shouts, standing up straight, glaring down at me.

I nod again then squeeze my thighs together. Holy hell he’s hot.

"I will tell you I was with her once after our first night together and not because I wanted to. I was so drunk I couldn’t stand. It was one of those times you and Ben Kingston were flirting in front of me and that day it got to me on a whole new level."