Amplify (22 page)

"Wh—"

He lifts a brow and I close my mouth.

"You see, I don’t like watching you flirt with Ben Kingston or any other fucking man on the planet but me. I don’t like it at all and it won’t happen again."

"Excuse me?" I say, my temper getting the best of me.

"Which part didn’t you understand?" he mocks.

"Who the hell do you think you are to tell me who I can or can’t flirt with?" I shout at him, standing up, my hands balled into fists.

"Your god damn fiancé, that’s who!" he bellows, his fist slamming on the table. "And it’s time I take control of this relationship because I am god damn sick and tired of the time we’re wasting on this fucked up shit."

"You take control? What the hell are you talking about?" Control me? I don’t fucking think so. Wait, did he say fiancé?

"I’m done with the back and forth and being afraid to upset you, Fee. The walking on eggshells is over," he shouts, his hand slicing through the air. "I will tell you exactly how it is and I expect the same from you. But right now you will listen."

I open my mouth and he leans forward.

"You. Will. Listen."

I nod and perch myself back on the edge of the chair. Holy smokes.

"Good. I got so drunk I couldn’t move. I was home. She came in. I don’t remember any of it. The only reason I know is from the security cameras and the fact that I woke up with my pants undone. It wasn’t consensual, Serafina. Since the first time I’ve been inside you, I haven’t wanted to be anywhere else. And that crap she spewed about you being my duty?" he growls. "You were never my duty. God damn it. Nothing pisses me off more than you believing that. Nothing. You have to know deep down that that’s total bullshit, Sera. I have never given you a reason to think that. Why the
fuck
did you listen to her?"

He shakes his head and takes a drink of his champagne.

Oh boy.

––––––––

D
on’t Fight It by Kenny Loggins, Steve Perry

Push by Matchbox Twenty

True Love by P!nk

––––––––

F
INALLY. SHE’S FINALLY FUCKING
listening. I have never been angrier in my life than I am right now. Watching her walk up, that defiant look on her face. Not this time. Fuck no. It’s time to get this shit straight.

"I never believed with one hundred percent certainty that Ben Kingston was the father. I merely questioned my ability to be the father because we were careful. Apparently not as careful as I thought. So that part, that part is on me. I admit, I couldn’t stand the thought of you with him because you’re
mine
. You have been since the day I saw you."

She just watches me. Good.

"God damn it, Serafina, I am so tired of you running from me when something scares you. Do you not know that I’m here to help you through your fears?
Especially
if I’m the one who causes them. I never,
ever
want you to feel you can’t come to me and talk to me. You’ve always talked to me, Fee. Does admitting we love one another change things so much that we can’t still have the same level of trust and friendship we’ve always had?"

She shakes her head.

"Then
god damn it
stop running! I can’t and I won’t put up with it again. You will not run again, do I make myself understood?"

She nods, eyes wide.

"Fuck, Fee, you know you can tell me anything. I have never once given you a reason to doubt that. So, what the fuck? Why?" I shake my head, my hands fisted on my hips as I look at the ground. I’m dumbfounded. I don’t get it. I really don’t.

I look over at her, just a turn of my head.

"Do you love me?" I need to know these answers before I force her into something she doesn’t want. I need to know she wants this as much as I do.

She nods her head.

"You’re in love with me."

She nods again.

"Do you trust me, Serafina? And I mean really trust me." Deal breaker.

She doesn’t hesitate. She nods.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

"Do you trust me to take care of you? To always be honest with you? And to always put you first, above everything else?"

She nods.

I walk over to her and crouch down in front of her, taking both of her hands in mine. "Then why did you run from me, Fee?"

"I was afraid."

I knew that. I nod. "Of me?"

"No. How did she know all of that, Cage? If none of it is true, then how did she know our most intimate details and which buttons to push?" she asks.

"I’ll tell you all of it later, but for now I’ll just tell you that she’s got people working against us, against you too. That’s how she knew."

Sera’s eyes widen and her mouth forms a small "o".

I get to my knees and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

"I won’t let you run again, Sera. Promise me you won’t run from me ever again." My heart can’t take it. Without her I’m empty.

"I promise."

"Promise me you’ll always tell me when something’s bothering you—no matter what."

"I promise."

"Promise me you’ll trust me with everything you are, just as I trust you with everything I am because, Fee, without that, we don’t have a future together. I won’t allow things to continue on the way they are."

"I promise."

"I will call you on your bullshit, Serafina. The second I suspect something’s off, I’m going to be up your ass and it won’t be the way you’d like me to be."

She snorts then nods.

"I’ve let things ride so far, Fee, but I have to take control of our relationship because the way it’s going, it’s going to destroy us both. I can’t allow that to happen."

She nods.

"I am so fucking pissed off at you right now, Serafina."

"I know."

I can tell she’s thinking. She’s got that look. "Tell me."

She drops to the sand in front of me and wraps herself around me. "I’m sorry."

"I know, Fee." I hold her and stroke her back while she—finally—lets her hurt and anger and pain flow from her in the form of tears.

When she composes herself she leans back, then cups my face in her tiny hands.

"I love you so much."

My heart starts beating again. It’d stopped when she left the day we’d made love. It can now beat again, now that I have her back in my arms.

"I love you too, Fee. Never leave me again. There is nothing we can’t work out together."

"I promise." We just look at one another for a few minutes. I need to look at her, see her, know she’s really here and she’s not going anywhere again.

"I’m sorry," she whispers.

"So am I," I tell her, because I truly am. For everything Carina’s done, anything I’ve done to give this amazing woman cause to doubt me and my love for her.

"How did you find me?" she asks.

"Did you really just ask me that question?"

"Yeah."

"Baby, you know who I am and what I do. There’s nowhere you could go I wouldn’t find you," I tell her truthfully.

"It took you long enough," she mocks.

I smirk. "I’ve been here for two days."

"Oh," she says. Then her eyes light up. "That’s why I smelled you."

I chuckle.

"You were everywhere. I thought I was losing my mind."

"Weren’t you, just a little bit?" I ask, a little hopeful.

She tilts her head to the side.

"Weren’t you losing your mind without me?"

She nods. "I’ve missed you so much."

I pull her to me and hold her close. "I’ve missed you too. God, Fee. Don’t you know how much I love you?"

She nods. "I do."

"Never run away from me again. Never." I won’t be able to stand it.

"I won’t. I promise."

"Mean it, Fee."

She pulls back. I let her see the uncertainty in my eyes.

"I mean it. I won’t run away again. The only place I’ll run is to you," she whispers.

I nod and press my lips to hers.

"I’m still fucking pissed."

"I know. I can tell."

"Let’s eat dinner."

She nods. "Okay."

"I know you haven’t been eating properly. That’s going to change as well."

"You’re so bossy."

"Get used to it," I tell her as I push her chair in for her.

"It’s kinda hot, if you want to know the truth."

"I always want to know the truth," I tell her. I’ll deal with the "hot" part after dinner.

"Eat, Fee. You’re going to need your strength."

"M
MM, I’M SO FULL,"
Sera mutters, leaning back in her chair. I’m pleased. More than pleased. She ate the entire plate of food—shrimp, rice, vegetables, and her fruit bowl.

"You’ve lost more weight, Fee," I scold.

She cringes. "I know. I just had no appetite after—well, after everything."

I nod. "I heard you were a little destructive at CFD before you ran even further away." I grind my teeth.

"Ah, yeah. I was a little out of sorts," she admits.

I nod. "You could have just talked to me about everything, Serafina."

She sighs. "I know, babe, and I’m sorry. I was just... hurt that you’d think I’d fuck around with Ben after being with you. You had to know what taking that step with you meant—Carina misunderstanding or no Carina misunderstanding."

"Sometimes things happen, Fee, when we think the worst and are to a point where everything is so bleak we don’t know how to ever find the light again."

"Is that why you got drunk?"

I nod.

"You hardly ever have more than one drink," she says with a frown.

"Exactly right. Remember my father."

"The junkie
and
drunk. What a peach," she mocks.

"Doesn’t matter anymore. He’s gone."

She nods.

"I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to make sure you eat and get enough sleep. I’m going to make sure you’re okay emotionally and physically, Fee. Not because I want to control you and everything about you, but because I want to help keep you healthy. You’ve been so ill and I’ll be honest with you: it scared the hell out of me. Every time you vomited, how it involved your entire body—Fee. Don’t fight me. You won’t win," I tell her, leaving her no room to argue, though for a second or two she wanted to.

"I can’t promise not to fight you. My mom always told me it was in my nature to be defiant," she answers, taking a sip of her champagne.

I grunt. "Imagine that."

Her brows go up. I’m still angry with her. I know I need to let it go, but I’m not ready just yet.

I stand and hold out my hand to her. She places her small one into mine and I lead her away from the table, into one of the arcs of the heart the candles make up. I pull her in close and sway to the music.

"This is so beautiful, Cage. Everything you’ve done. Thank you."

I nod and she tucks her head to my chest. I rest my cheek on top of her head and breathe her in, letting the soft music and the sound of the ocean calm me. It’s been so long since I’ve let my anger out, it’s hard to get back under control.

All too easily the innocent dance becomes more. Her body against mine. The scent of coconut and pineapple. Her breathy sighs. The way her hands slide up and down my chest, occasionally tracing over the key tattoo covering my heart.

"I love this tattoo," she tells me, pulling me from my thoughts.

I nod. All the times she’s traced it, looked at it, kissed it, and licked it, she’s never really seen it.

I think of her ill, then lying on that bed, bloody and barely alive—then walking away from me. I close my eyes and the image of Carina holding that knife over her flashes and the need to touch her becomes unbearable.

I lift her and she wraps her arms and legs around me. I carry her to the cabana, pulling back the filmy fabric before stepping inside. I set her on the floor and she looks up at me.

"Take off your dress."

She lets out a soft gasp.

"Now, Fee."

She reaches down and pulls the fabric up over her head, leaving her in her white barely-there cotton panties and bra.

"Sit," I instruct and she does. I bend down to unbuckle the straps of her sandals and slip them off before setting them and her pretty dress on the chair in the corner.