An Accidental Mother (5 page)

“Kate, I'm done,” he eventually called out, and I walked in to retrieve the stack of tissues he now held in his hand.

“You have to remember to wipe yourself, Michael!”

“I know,” he answered.

I don't know if a psychologist would approve of my methods, but there were no issues with Michael's laundry from that day forward.

Michael is supposed to be ready for school, but he hasn't come downstairs yet. I go up to check on him, and when I step into his bathroom he is holding his clothes in his hand, about to get dressed. When he sees me he is startled and tries to cover up his naked body with the loose clothing. In doing so, he steps backward and bumps his foot on a wooden stool
.

“Ouch!” he yells
.

“Honey, if you weren't trying so hard to cover yourself up, you wouldn't have hurt your foot. I've seen you without clothes since you were a little tiny boy!”

“Kate! That's different!” he replies
.

“Why?” I query
.

“Because! It was smaller then! It's bigger now!”

As we both climb into the car, Michael asks where we are going. I tell him we have numerous errands to run and places to go, including Target. After that we are stopping at Grandma's house for a visit
.

Knowing Grandma's house is much more fun than running errands, Michael asks, “Why don't you take me to Grandma's house now and go to Target without me?”

We're driving in the car, and Elizabeth is looking at my sister's new tattoo. She says, “Kiki, I like your drag-onflies.”

Michael, not wanting to miss out on the conversation, chimes in, “Those are my favorite bugs.”

I'm in Michael's bedroom, helping him pick out his clothes for school. I need to use the bathroom but don't want to go all the way back downstairs
.

“Can I use your bathroom?” I ask
.

Michael replies, “Yeah. I didn't poop, so it won't smell.”

While chiding Jim over some minor sin, I tease him loudly:

“You're fired!”

Michael steps over to me with concern on his face and says, “You can't fire him! I love him!” I'm looking down into his big blue eyes, trying to figure out how to reply, when he adds, “And you love him, too!”

It's Christmas Eve, and Grandma has called to talk to Michael. In addition to milk and cookies for Santa, she tells him he should leave out carrots for the reindeer. Once he has hung up the phone we head for the kitchen and begin to look through the refrigerator. I open up the vegetable drawer and see that we have no carrots
.

“Now what do we do?” I ask
.

“Why don't we leave them marshmallows?” he replies
.

Elizabeth: “Daddy, where is the rain forest?”

Jim: “It's far, far away.”

Elizabeth: “So if I ever go there, I better tinkle first.”

It's a summer Saturday morning, and I'm sitting on the back patio reading a magazine and drinking my morning coffee. Michael is sitting in the chair next to me, playing a handheld electronic game. I get up and walk into the house, going into the kitchen to refill my coffee cup. Michael gets up and follows me, all the while with his eyes still on the game. I walk back out to the patio, and Michael follows me, still playing his game. Over the course of the next half hour, I get up two more times and return to the kitchen to refill my coffee, and each time Michael gets up with me, never saying a word and never looking up from his game. I'm not even sure he realizes he is following me
.

One morning while walking to the bus stop, Michael asks me, “Kate, do you like having kids?”

My answer? “No, I
love
having kids
.”

Michael has two stuffed animals that are both becoming a little worse for wear. The stuffed dog's ear has fallen off, and the stuffed cat's nose has been partially chewed off by Jim's real dog, Max. I have just purchased a new sewing machine, and on this particular Saturday morning I set it up on the kitchen table and put the instructional video into the VCR
.