An Affair Downstairs (14 page)

“As long as you wear it.”

Once Alice was dressed, Mrs. Jenks helped her fasten the pin at her throat, just over her cravat.

“Perfect,” Sophia said, and she sent for Gabriel to go down with her.

“Follow the huntsman's lead and you'll be fine,” Gabriel recommended. Alice nodded, pretending not to be nervous.

“She can follow
my
lead.” Ralston joined them as they stepped out to the yard. “I don't plan on leaving her side, Lord Averford. She's in good hands with me.”

“I hope so,” Alice said, hazarding a glance at Ralston from under the brim of her hat. He flashed that wide grin of his, reminding her somewhat of the fox they would be hunting.

“First, the master of hounds sounds the horn and looses the hounds to follow the scent. We follow the hounds,” Ralston explained. “Simple as that.”

“If it's anything like last year, we'll end up spending half the day seated around coverts waiting for the fox to come out and run again,” Averford said. “Ah, here comes Winthrop leading out our horses.”

“Winthrop.” Alice's head shot up. “When did he arrive? I thought he was going to miss the hunt.”

“Miss the hunt? He wouldn't dream of it. Winthrop's been at my side these last six Holcomb hunts at least.”

“Don't worry, Lady Alice,” Ralston whispered. “Mr. Winthrop will stay with Lord Averford. We'll find our own way through the crowd.”

“I'm not worried, Lord Ralston. Thank you.”

“It's a crowded field. More ladies than usual. Over thirty.” Was Ralston suggesting that he could have his pick? Did he expect her to be grateful?

“I'm glad of it. Some men think women have no place in sport. I would love for a woman to take the prize this year.”

“Perhaps it will be you, Lady Alice.”

“It won't be Junie Sentleden.” Alice nodded to June on the sidelines, where she stood with Lord Brumley choosing refreshments from the buffet. “Sadly, she's not dressed to hunt.”

“Your horse awaits, Lady Alice. Come, let me help you mount.” Winthrop appeared at her side and bowed dutifully. “Lord Ralston, your groom requests a word with you.”

“I'll join you in a moment.” Ralston headed off.

“Thank you, Mr. Winthrop. A surprise to see you here.” Alice followed him to Lord Averford and the horses. “I hope all is well with your brother, not that you informed me you were going. I heard it from my sister.”

“I left in a hurry, Lady Alice.”

“Still, you could have said something. I thought we were friends.” She felt he owed her some little bit of courtesy, even though he owed her nothing.

“I hope we are.”

“And yet, you also didn't send me word that you were coming back. I haven't heard from you since…” She shook her head. “What was I to think?”

“I'm sorry. I hardly know what to think of it myself, if that helps any. And then there was the letter from Ellen with word of my brother's rapid decline. Please, if I've offended you, forgive me.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. He could hardly do much more without arousing suspicion. “You must know that I never intended to avoid you on purpose.”

She softened. What was he to do, really? He couldn't very well go looking for her or be caught sending her notes. And if his brother had been as sick as all that…“There's nothing to forgive. I really do hope your family is well.”

“My brother has recovered, thank you. Bronchitis, not contagious. At least, no one else in the family seems to have come down with anything like it. I arrived at Thornbrook Park last night and headed to Holcomb House this morning.”

As they drew nearer to Lord Averford, she tried to appear as though they were having a simple conversation. “Brutus made the journey well?”

“The horses came with Grady days ago. He's rested and ready. I hope you got more practice in taking him over hedges and fallen logs.”

“There wasn't time. I hope my skills will suffice.” She hadn't ridden since her day out with Ralston, and there were few reasons to lead Brutus over obstacles then. Their path had been mostly a clear one. “Brutus makes up in agility what he lacks in speed.”

“You are skilled, but have a care riding with Ralston. Rumor has it the earl likes to show off and will go out of his way to leap obstacles when he could easily go around.”

“He informs me that there are thirty women riding today. I'm sure some of them will be impressed with Ralston's skills, but I won't be among them.”

“Because you don't wish to marry? You might want to rebuff him a little before he finds the opportunity to ask. I see the way he looks at you, Alice. It's only a matter of time. And you don't seem to be in a hurry to be rid of him, despite your protestations.”

At last, was she to see a hint of jealousy from Winthrop? Her nerves tingled with hope that he hadn't entirely vanquished his affection for her after all. She risked meeting his gaze and became instantly flooded with desire. His heavy-lidded eyes mirrored her own intense attraction.

“Logan,” she said suddenly, daring to stroke his whisker-roughened cheek. “Why must everything seem so impossible?”

“Anything is possible. Just not as likely as we might wish. Please, stay focused on the hunt. Don't take any foolish risks.”

She already had, risking her heart to the estate manager. He helped her into the saddle, lingering beside her until Gabriel, on horseback, joined them.

“Mount up, Winthrop. They'll be starting soon.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Before he could return to them, Ralston rode over to Alice's side. “Should we make a friendly wager?”

“A wager, Lord Ralston? Of what sort?”

“If I'm the one to corner the fox, you'll kiss me.”

It seemed a safe enough risk. At worst, it would cost her a kiss. At best, the hounds would corner the fox and the huntsman would be the first to get to it. “And if I corner the fox?”

He shrugged. “You could choose the same prize, a kiss.”

She laughed. “But that's a pointless bet. If either of us is victorious, we get the prize.”

“Exactly.”

“What if I choose a different prize?”

“Preposterous. Why would you want anything else?” He winked and jerked the reins, charging ahead of her before she had a chance to protest. She caught up a minute later. “Get ready, he's going to sound the horn.”

She looked around for Logan and Gabriel, but had lost sight of them in the crowd. The master sounded the horn, and the dogs sprang into action. There were supposedly two hundred riders, but they were easily outnumbered by fox terriers, foxhounds, and little scruffy dogs she couldn't name but that she understood were famous for bravely scurrying right into the foxholes after their prey.

From the middle of the pack of hunters, Alice and Lord Ralston followed the incessant woofing and howling to the first covert. Within minutes, before the back of the pack had even caught up, the hounds snuffed out a red fox so gorgeous and sweet that Alice had a moment's hesitation. How could they frighten such a lovely little thing? Even worse, to stand back and watch the hounds tear into her. But as the rest of the pack caught up and the hounds raced on to the next covert, excitement bubbled in her veins. The thrill of the hunt! A feeling she knew at last. It was perhaps livelier than her pursuit of Winthrop had been, but every bit as jolly.

Catching Winthrop had been more rewarding, alas, but she wanted him again, perhaps all the more when she finally spied him not far behind the master of the hunt. Winthrop had fine form on a horse. She suddenly didn't know if the tingling in her veins came from hunting or from her memories of lovemaking, but she charged Brutus into pursuit so that Ralston had to try to keep up with her. The next covert was some way off. The fox had outstripped the pack and burrowed into a dense thatch of greenery.

The dogs, noses to the ground, sniffed everywhere and seemed a little confused at being eluded.

“Stay alert,” Ralston assured her, catching up. “The grounds crew was out at dawn making sure the burrows were all filled in.”

“The poor thing has nowhere to hide.”

“Exactly. Any moment now.”

“It seems a bit unfair.”

“We don't want the riders getting bored, now do we?”

A little tuft of red appeared in the brush and suddenly the dogs were over the other side, charging ahead. Horses followed.

On it went for what seemed like hours. Ralston rode dutifully by her side, commanding his horse to make graceful leaps over any object in the way, while she rode easily around most of them. Every time she thought she would be close enough to speak to Logan again, he charged ahead after the pack.

A surprising thing happened at the next covert. The dogs went in sniffing and two foxes appeared. Much confusion ensued, with the master and half the hounds going one way and some dogs and riders trailing off in the other direction. By the next few coverts, the pack had thinned to only a few riders, and Alice began to think they'd set off after the wrong fox.

“Follow me,” Ralston said. “I think I can see where all this is headed. We'll beat the fox to the next covert and perhaps force it into the open together.”

“I—” She was about to protest when Ralston's horse charged off. She wanted to end the hunt with Winthrop. If only she could find him again. “Here we go, then.”

She braced herself and went off after him, leading Brutus over a tall fence that she wasn't sure he would clear. When he did, she wanted to stop and compliment him on his performance, but Ralston hadn't looked back or slowed down. She raced ahead, following, more pleased by his plan when she thought she saw Winthrop and Lord Averford joining in from the opposite direction, perhaps after the second fox. Ralston's horse leaped some fallen logs, clueing Alice to prepare Brutus for a similar feat. Brutus cleared the logs and stumbled, possibly not expecting the puddle that followed. Alice held on, but the momentum drove her forward even after her horse had stopped.

The wind was knocked clean out of her. She lay flat on her back, trying desperately to catch her breath, when she heard her own name through a fog. “Alice! Good God, Alice!” Winthrop's voice, and suddenly he was at her side, leaning over her.

The last sight she had before losing consciousness was of Winthrop's very anxious cobalt eyes peering down at her. Eyes like the midnight sky, she thought, and drifted off into their darkness.

Logan Winthrop, no stranger to murderous thoughts, had never wanted to kill a man more than he now longed to murder the Earl of Ralston. And this time, he felt capable of doing it with his bare hands. Sitting at Alice's bedside, waiting for her to wake up, he imagined his hands closing around Ralston's throat and popping his Adam's apple like a chicken egg. It was the only distraction that kept him from throwing himself on Alice and begging her to be all right.

The man had no business leading Alice to certain danger. Ralston knew of the water hazard and had led his horse from right to left to avoid being mired in it. He certainly should have anticipated that someone following him closely would have had no ability to react in time. Now Alice, lovely Alice, was paying the price.

Logan insisted on staying by Alice's side, only leaving to allow her sister to be alone with her for a short time and for the doctor's examination before pleading to be let back into the room. On her own, Alice had moved her hand once her attendants were through changing her for the doctor's examination. It was an encouraging sign, according to Dr. Pederson. She would probably not be paralyzed. The main concern was that she should regain consciousness, which she hadn't yet. Outside, Logan could hear the doctor mulling options with Lady Averford. Brain swelling. Coma. Words that Winthrop did not want to hear, especially after being with his brother during the recent crisis. None of it was good.

“Alice.” He squeezed her hand. “My sweet, you have to wake up.”

He loved her, he knew beyond a doubt. The way his heart had constricted when he saw her tumbling from the horse, the agony of not being able to reach her in time. The bitter roiling in the pit of his stomach from his fear and worry. He loved her. She wasn't just a woman to him anymore. She was life itself.

She remained as if asleep, eyes closed, not a bruise on her. A sleeping angel. But Alice was no angel. “You're a rebel, Alice,” he reminded her. “You have to fight.”

He heard the door open behind him and a soft hand on his back. He stood to give his chair to Alice's sister, the woman who rightfully belonged at Alice's side.

“She can't be moved,” Lady Averford said. “The Holcombs are very understanding, of course. They've invited us to stay as long as Alice is here.”

“Charitable of them, considering. Damn that fool Ralston!”

“Logan.” Lady Averford sighed and accepted the chair. “If I may call you Logan, considering the closeness you apparently share with Alice?”

“I'm sorry, Lady Averford. We never meant for it to become public knowledge.”

“I'm her sister.”

“I know. That's why I'm trying to explain to you how I feel about Lady Alice. It came upon me suddenly. One day, she was trailing after me as usual, annoying me as I tried to work. The next day, I couldn't find her and I began to miss her chatter. Not long after that, we became friends, and from friendship—”

“It's why she couldn't bear to consider any of my other candidates.” Sophia nodded.

“Not exactly. Maybe. I tried to step aside. She's persistent. And when we found ourselves alone together… I understand you will want me to resign. I will, effective immediately. But please don't force me to leave her now.” The ache inside him went so deep that he had no idea how to root it out.

Lady Averford pursed her lips. “You have to understand what it looks like. The minute it happened, you leaped from your horse. Some say you flew, but I think they might be exaggerating. You were at her side in less than an instant, and some worried that you and Lord Ralston would come to blows.”

“I was mad with concern, Lady—Sophia. Mad.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I'm still nearly out of my mind. It's what caused me to realize the full depth of my love for her. Because I love her, I'm willing to walk away. She deserves better. I kept telling her.”

“You're a good man, Logan. We all think very highly of you.”

“But I'm not the right man, am I? You're sympathetic now, and I appreciate it, but you don't want me to be the one for her. I offered.”

“Marriage? You offered Alice marriage?”

He nodded. “Of course I did. What would you expect me to do? But she wanted nothing to do with a marriage she felt I offered out of duty. I never told her that I love her. What I wouldn't give to say the words, to see how she feels, if it makes a difference.”

“If it were up to me, I would let you stay. I've seen the way she looks at you, and it has worried me. Eve warned me. We both thought if I insisted that Alice stop trailing after you, that it would be the very thing she would do. So we said nothing. I said nothing. And now, letting you stay might do her some good. But people talk, Logan. Your reaction was more than an estate manager would feel for a mere member of the family he serves. I can only explain it as duty or a reaction from your own past trauma so often before people begin to think otherwise.”

“Before people begin to think that there's something between Alice and me.” He nodded, knowing exactly what she was getting at but not quite saying. “You think I should go.”

“Alice is going to wake up. I don't know when, but she will. She's tenacious.”

“I know.” He smiled.

“Exactly. But if you stay much longer, people will expect a wedding. Ralston told me he was about to propose. I fear she will look damaged somehow.”

“You fear they will believe the truth, that Alice and I were lovers.”

“Lovers. We live in a modern age, but I'm not sure most men are ready to accept a lightskirt for a bride.”

He fisted his hands. “She's your sister. You know she's not like that. It wasn't like that.”

“What people believe is often far from the truth, Logan. You know it better than most.”

People believed him a murderer. Sophia was right. “Alice doesn't care what people believe.”

Sophia shook her head. “She does not, indeed. And perhaps you will stay by her side until she wakes, lean over her with tears in your eyes, and tell her how glad you are to have her back, how much you love her. And she will agree that she loves you, too, and that she'll marry you…”

“No. It's not what she wants. Not that way. I won't have her feel forced to accept me.”

“I don't think it is what she wants.” Sophia raised a brow, as if considering. “But if you stay…”

“She doesn't want any of your candidates, either, you should know. Whether I'm here or gone. She wants freedom.”

“What kind of freedom does one have when ostracized from the only society one knows? Believe me, I know it sounds cruel. But you can tell me. You've been there.” Harsh as Sophia's words were to hear, he knew she spoke out of love for her sister. And she was right. Deep down he knew. If he stayed, he would tell Alice he loved her, and it would change everything, perhaps not in the best way for Alice. She had to be free to make her own choices when the time was right.

He nodded. “In a way, I'll always be there, on the outside, not fitting in with one set or the other. Alice taught me what it was to want to live again. I won't take that chance from her. Could you give me a moment to say good-bye?”

Sophia stood to leave. “Not much longer, Logan.”

“I'll be quick.” Once the door closed behind Sophia, Logan took Alice's hand and leaned over her. “I love you, Alice. I should have told you as soon as I realized it. I love you. When you open your eyes, I won't be here, but know that my love remains. Come back to us, Alice, and forgive me for what I'm about to do.”

It nearly ripped his heart out to walk away from her, looking so fragile in the bed. Even the red in her hair seemed to have dulled. He wanted so badly to stay and bring her color back to her. Sophia had a point, though. If he stayed and Alice woke, would she feel compelled to say she would marry him? Would she regret it afterward? He knew her dreams, and he couldn't stand to hold her back. On his recent visit, his family had made it clear that they would welcome him back. Now it seemed best that he leave Thornbrook Park and return to his family.

His next step was to explain himself to Lord Averford. He found his employer in the drawing room and asked for a word alone.

“I've been expecting you,” Averford confessed, leading Logan to a small parlor where they could speak privately. “It's clear that you're a man in love. I've seen that look. I've worn it. She'll pull through this, Winthrop. Alice is as strong as they come.”

“So is her sister, and you know the countess would never approve of us together, Alice and me. Not really. She might give her permission, but I'm not sure she would ever really like the idea. As for Alice, she doesn't mean to marry. I offered, and she turned me down.”

“Well. That is a surprise.” Averford poured two glasses of whiskey and held one out to Logan. He took it. “She's a spirited one, our Alice. You don't think she would change her mind? The girl says a lot of things she doesn't mean, or so I've noticed through the years. She likes to watch the effect her words have without really thinking through the impact on herself.”

Logan tilted his head. “That might have been true when she was younger, and she does have a flair for the dramatic.”

“It runs in the family.” Averford paused mid-sip to wink over the edge of his glass.

“Yes, but I find she has changed some in the few years I've known her. She has grown into herself, and I believe she's a remarkable woman.”

“Then stay, Winthrop. Stay and marry her. Who cares what people think? Lord knows she doesn't care much for public opinion.”

“Your wife reminded me that Alice might care if it took her away from the only people she has known and cared about her whole life. You know what happened to Eve before she married your brother. She still hasn't reconciled with the family who disowned her over her first husband. And then there's my past to consider. I've become used to the rumors and questions. But could Alice?”

“It would be to your credit to wait and ask her. Find out.”

Logan shook his head. “No. I've made my decision. I think there's some part of her that needs more time to be on her own. I was just a step on her journey. A good step, I hope. But she'll get past me and on to other things. She might have already done so, or why would she have come to the fox hunt in the fine company of the Earl of Ralston? Alice is an explorer. I'm going to give her the freedom she deserves to explore.”

“That's it, then? I've lost my trusted estate agent?”

“I'll head back to Thornbrook Park and work with Mr. Finch and Mrs. Hoyle to see that a replacement is found. I won't leave before I know that you have someone. It will take me some time to pack up my belongings in the cottage. And of course, I can't bring myself to go as far away as Stratton Place without knowing how Alice is recovering.” He brought his hand to his forehead, more to hide his concern than to ease his tension.

“I know, Winthrop. I know. And I thank you. I'll be sure you get word of her progress daily. You know you're always a welcome visitor at Thornbrook Park. I hope we'll all be back within the week.”

“I hope so, too. Good night, Lord Averford. And, I suppose, good-bye as well.” He held out his hand.

Averford shook it. “Don't say good-bye. Let's just say until we meet again.”

***

When Alice opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was a genuine look of relief on Lord Ralston's face.

“Alice, you've come back to us.” Were those tears in his eyes? How long had she been unconscious? She tried to sit up.

“That's it, try to sit. Your body has been through a bit of a shock.”

The whole scene reminded her of when she'd fainted and had woken up in Winthrop's bed. Only Winthrop's eyes had held the look of concern, and he'd urged her not to sit up too soon. In fact, Logan Winthrop's eyes were the last thing she could remember, like a midnight sky, and she was floating toward it…

“What happened?” Her hand went to her head as if to steady it. It seemed to weigh ten times more than it should, and she found she could barely hold it up. And the pain, sharp shooting pain. “Ow.”

“Some pain is to be expected, I suppose. You've had a sharp knock to the head.”

“I think I went down on a log when I fell off Brutus.”

“Ah, that explains it,” Ralston said. “It's good that you remember.”

He looked uncertain about whether it really was a good thing. Where was Logan? She'd expected to find him at her side when she woke, if only out of his unerring sense of duty. Of course, she expected more than duty to keep him close. And yet…

Sophia came in. “You're awake. Oh, Alice.” She ran to the bed as if she hadn't seen Alice in a year.

“How long was I unconscious?”

“Two days. Well, two and a half, if you count the day it happened. And on the third day, Alice opened her eyes.” Sophia clapped as if Alice had just performed a miracle or at least a brilliant tune on the piano.

“Two days? As long as that? And you're treating me as if you thought I might wake up a mental invalid?”

Ralston had the nerve to laugh. “We did wonder a bit about your memory recall.”

“My recall is perfectly fine, thank you. Except that two days seems a long time to be unconscious.” Who had changed her clothes? She prayed it was Jenks or her own sister, people she was familiar with, and not the Holcomb maids.

And she was dying to ask Sophia what had become of Winthrop. They weren't exactly engaged, but she couldn't help but think he would stand by her in a traumatic crisis. He wasn't the sort to run away, was he? But wasn't that exactly what he'd done in his past?

“Dr. Pederson is on his way in.”

After a brief examination, the doctor declared her well, but not ready to be moved. He recommended that she slowly begin resuming her usual activities and said she should expect to tire easily. He added that she was very lucky it hadn't been worse. She might have broken her back or become paralyzed instead of suffering several days' unconsciousness and a stinging headache.