An Honest Ghost (16 page)

“She loves me: Graham Greene The Heart of the Matter 235

Oh, incompetence!: Jorges Luis Borges Collected Fictions 32

If you can: Harold Bloom Hamlet: Poem Unlimited 32

I sigh, depressed: John Gardner Grendel 9

“Yes,” I said: James Lasdun The Horned Man 101

I pulled myself: Diane Williams It Was Like My Trying to

Have a Tender-Hearted Nature 14

The more I: Van Gulden Real Parents Real Children 231

If a man’s: B. K. S. Iyengar Light on Yoga 47

Love is an: Leo Bersani A Future for Astyanax 289

Such an old: John Banville The Infinities 8

Times like this: Louisa Perillo I’ve Heard the Vultures

Singing 22

I’m just trying: Peter Cameron Someday This Pain Will Be

Useful To You 32

This is not: Kazuki Sekida Zen Training 31

He dropped his: Theodore Dreiser An American Tragedy

528

“I’m sorry about: Andrew Holleran Dancer from the Dance

216

The supreme vice: Portable Oscar Wilde 511

David himself had: Andre Gide The Counterfeiters 165

He looked me: Gore Vidal Two Sisters 194

I knew I: Alfred Chester The Exquisite Corpse 52

“I pretended she: J. D. Salinger Nine Stories 13

But you see: Andrew Holleran Dancer from the Dance 169

What an unnatural: Leo Lerman The Grand Surprise 158

He was also: Clara Clement Naples 17

“The basis of: Portable Oscar Wilde 517

The mind obeys: Giacomo Casanova History of My Life 325

But maybe not: Adam Thirlwell Delighted States 11

All day long: Bruce Duffy The World As I Found It 247

I had not: Susanna Pinney, ed. I’ll Stand by You: Letters of

Sylvia Townsend Warner 24

My private life: Charles Kaiser 1968 in America 200

We don’t need: Gore Vidal Two Sisters 251

But think about: Stephen Jay Gould Hen’s Teeth 170

One has to: Søren Kierkegaard Diary of a Seducer 45

No thanks: Harry Mathews The Journalist 55

David talked in: Don DeLillo The Names 261

“So I have: Søren Kierkegaard Diary of a Seducer 185

At least I: Gore Vidal Palimpsest 250

That is our: Maximilien Robespierre Virtue and Terror 110

But a style: Adam Thirlwell Delighted States 24

“To tell the: Christopher Priest The Glamour 186

Oh, pardon, madame: Albert Camus The Fall 12

“Do you expect: J. M. Coetzee Waiting for the Barbarians

53

It was too: Rudy Wilson The Red Truck 143

The street is: Ralph Waldo Emerson Essays 257

The fairies perched: Sylvia Townsend Warner Kingdoms of

Elfin 197

As long as: Guy Hocquenghem Screwball Asses 25

Young people: Tim Dean Unlimited Intimacy 162

I wanted to: Denton Welch Maiden Voyage 273

It was too: Anita Brookner Look at Me 46

In any modern: W. H. Auden Forewords and Afterwords

“All right, let’s: Mary McCarthy The Group 313

The purpose is: Henry Green Doting 54

“I’d love to: Rachel Ingalls Mrs. Caliban 14

In the translucent: W. G. Sebald After Nature 63

“I can’t tell: Ron Nyswaner Blue Days Black Nights 179

His warm, masculine: Robert Walser The Assistant 289

David’s head dropped: Honoré de Balzac Lost Illusions 538

Added to this: Jean Echenoz Piano 135

“Why,” I said: Andrew Holleran Dancer from the Dance

212

I threw him: Fyodor Dostoevsky House of the Dead 315

“I don’t sleep: Sam Massey Return of the Greek 145

“What are you: Ralph Sassone The Intimates 159

It was an: Geoff Dyer Out of Sheer Rage: Wrestling with D.

H. Lawrence 22

The intellectual attitude: Theodor Adorno Stars Down to

Earth 157

I was astonished: Harry Mathews The Journalist 59

“What do you: Giacomo Casanova History of My Life 964

It’s good at: John Gardner Grendel 10

“Doesn’t matter what: E. F. Benson David Blaize 37

He was lying: Sylvia Townsend Warner The Corner That

Held Them 36

He had given: Petros Abatzoglou What Does Mrs. Freeman

Want? 102

He had never: Jorges Luis Borges Collected Fictions 366

It is not: Blackmur Studies in Henry James 199

“I wasn’t trying: Victoria Redel Border of Truth 87

Nothing, however: D. H. Lawrence Sons and Lovers 137

For “style” has: Charles Baudelaire Mirror of Art 276

“Well, what is: Rudyard Kipling Kim 235

I heard some: James Lasdun The Horned Man 53

“Listen,” he said: James Blake The Joint 167

Opportunity sometimes knocks: H. Jackson Brown Life’s

Little Instruction Book 123

Another long silence: Rudyard Kipling Kim 112

How the hell: Glenway Wescott Continual Lessons 161

We should strive: Andre Tellier Twilight Men 112

But I am: H. G. Wells The Time Machine 104

19.

Strange beds have: Kazuo Ishiguro Remains of the Day 47

A spot of: Proust Sodom and Gomorrah 55

I was—and: Lydie Salvayre Portrait of the Artist as a

Domesticated Animal 26

Was love insane: Andre Tellier Twilight Men 91

I, too, wanted: Edmund White Rimbaud 7

I know the: Alex Ross Listen to This 19

I, too, wanted: Edmund White Rimbaud 7

David sat quietly: Don DeLillo The Names 67

“Anarchy,” he said: Graham Greene May We Borrow Your

Husband? 126

I made no: Jean Genet Funeral Rites 14

My mind drifts: Alex Ross Listen to This 20

Life in the: Andre Tellier Twilight Men 88

It was too: Patrick White Vivisector 458

Yet the vulnerable: Gilbert Adair Love and Death on Long

Island 134

“I have no: Vladimir Nabokov Laughter in the Dark 44

I say that: David Lehman, ed. Great American Prose

Poems 146

Life has but: Charles Baudelaire Intimate Journals 39

“I like men: Portable Oscar Wilde 342

“There’s a something: Henry James The Lesson of The

Master 49

He said that: Giacomo Casanova History of My Life 568

Tentatively, he added: David McConnell Firebrat 94

Then he smiled: Vladimir Nabokov Laughter in the Dark

34

He liked to: Robert Lowell Collected Prose xi

In truth, however: Sarah Bakewell How to Live 53

Behind our thoughts: Ludwig Wittgenstein Notebooks

1914-1916 22

He raised his: Mark Merlis American Studies 114

I ignored this: Stephen Benatar Wish Her Safe at Home 16

“I must kiss: Henry Green Doting 194

“One night,” he: Alfred Chester The Exquisite Corpse 33

He was a: Rudyard Kipling Kim 93

Sexy: John Francis Hunter The Gay Insider 425

His favorite instrument: Thomas Bernhard Gargoyles 76

A local artist: Edmund White Rimbaud 130

Asleep, or perhaps: Andre Tellier Twilight Men 71

He picked up: Robert Walser The Assistant 295

The men I: Carl Van Vechten Parties 157

That can hardly: Bertolt Brecht Galileo 30

I wish I: Glenn Gould Letters 240

As Gertrude Stein: Janet Malcolm Two Lives 224

20.

You can imagine: Thomas Bernhard Frost 33

This is Eleanor’s: Alison Weir Eleanor of Acquitaine 2

Her whole life: Janet Malcolm Two Lives14

Life-bloated: John Gardner Grendel 11

She was woebegone: Jean Genet Funeral Rites 12

She has given: Gore Vidal Two Sisters 172

When she walked: Hans Keilson Comedy in a Minor Key

81

“The force of: Sylvia Townsend Warner Summer Will Show

79

“Ridiculous,” she said: Hans Keilson Comedy in a Minor

Key 82

Meanwhile, she also: Sylivia Townsend Warner The Corner That

Held Them 76

We can’t talk: Justin Taylor Everything Here is the Best

Thing Ever 124

Tears brimmed up: Menis Koumandereas Koula 86

To be continued: James Joyce Finnegans Wake 18

She talks about: Just Taylor Everything Here is the Best

Thing Ever 114

Some situations brought: Joseph P. Lash Eleanor and

Franklin 145

No one can: W. G. Sebald Austerlitz 25

She had no: D. H. Lawrence St. Mawr 55

She was thirty-one: D. H. Lawrence Sons and Lovers 2

They had married: D. H. Lawrence Stories Vol I 71

It was the: Evan S. Connell Mrs. Bridge 125

His rosy tongue: Ronald Firbank Five Novels 372

He and his: Gilbert Highet Poets in a Landscape 25

His hatred of: Gustave Flaubert Sentimental Education 202

Exalted but remote: Edmund White Rimbaud 141

Whenever he went: Vladimir Nabokov Laughter in the

Dark 36

He was desperate: Edmund White Rimbaud 146

She had cried: Henry James Portrait of a Lady 358

After that she: Gilbert Highet Poets in a Landscape 25

There was nothing: Karl Ove Knausgaard My Struggle:

Book Two 206

She walked on: Sylvia Townsend Warner Summer Will

Show 102

I remarked in: Edmund White Nocturnes for the King of

Naples 130

We had sex: Matthew Stadler Allan Stein 27

I’ve never cultivated: Henry James Portrait of a Lady 484

Later she was: Gilbert Highet Poets in a Landscape 166

If there was: Sarah Bakewell How to Live 48

“I had an: Mary McCarthy The Group 312

She expected that: Christopher Bollas The Shadow of the

Object 125

“Then I went: Charles Kaiser 1968 in America 188

She looked at: Robert Bolaño By Night in Chile 113

Mentally, I rolled: Karl Ove Knausgaard My Struggle:

Book Two 372

I didn’t love: Graham Greene Travels with My Aunt 21

Alone unchanging: Ronald Firbank Five Novels 372

21.

Something very strange: Noel Coward Lyrics 381

You know what: Justin Taylor Everything Here is the Best

Thing Ever 116

Desirelessness: J. D. Salinger Franny and Zooey 198

So one day: Jonathan Ames I Love You 120

“Do come in: Barbara Pym Jane and Prudence 146

I make sure: Jean Genet The Declared Enemy: Texts and

Interviews 12

It was like: Sylvia Townsend Warner Summer Will Show

108

The result is: Shunryu Suzuki Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind

39

Are you constantly: Daniel C. Dennett Consciousness

Explained 137

How much time: E. M. Forster Aspects of the Novel 50

It is some: Janet Malcolm Two Lives 132

This is Freud’s: Adam Phillips On Balance 179

Noon slumbers: James Joyce Ulysses 42

22.

A high-class: Geoff Dyer Out of Sheer Rage: Wrestling

with D. H. Lawrence 55

There, milling about: Roland Barthes S/Z 221

People had to: Hart Crane Library of America Collected

Poems and Selected Letters 293

The mostly faded: Hans Keilson Comedy in a Minor Key 83

It was the: Robert Bolaño Amulet 50

Champagne does wonders: Lydie Salvayre The Award 66

“But, what am: Djuna Barnes Nightwood 78

Here we have: Lydie Salvayre The Award 71

Like all the: Sherwood Anderson Winesburg, Ohio 135

Whereas what I: Gordon Lish Zimzum 54

We all love: Daniel C. Dennett Consciousness Explained 23

We sat for: Peter Cameron Someday This Pain Will Be

Useful To You 32

“Listen, my dear: Noel Coward Pomp and Circumstance

“You mustn’t be: J. M. Coetzee Waiting for the Barbarians

51

Eleanor was silent: Ivy Compton-Burnett Parents and

Children 31

“To forgive, it: Charles Burkhart I. Compton-Burnett 13

“Yes, I can: Colm Toibin The Master 206

I was having: Gary Krist The Garden State 139

“The ancients have: Amy Hempel Reasons To Live 47

I wanted to: David Lehman, ed. Great American Prose

Poems 293

“What every man: Glenway Wescott Continual Lessons 359

And I confess: Lydie Salvayre Power of Flies 65

Essentially, we would: Leo Bersani A Future for Astyanax

302

The whole point: Susan Sontag Reborn 81

It is only: Noel Coward Pomp and Circumstance 124

I disapprove of: Evan S. Connell Mrs. Bridge 8

If you’re going: Fran Lebowitz Reader 120

Eleanor laughed: Ann Weil Eleanor Roosevelt: Fighter for

Social Justice 13

She stopped abruptly: Sylvia Townsend Warner Summer

Will Show 102

She gave a: James Lasdun The Horned Man 52

“I love this: David McConnell Firebrat 122

She is elegantly: W. G. Sebald Unrecounted 94

Right now, finally: Justin Taylor Everything Here is the

Best Thing Ever 13

All at once: David Levithan The Full Spectrum 165

Then something opened: John Banville The Untouchable

276

“My dear Eleanor: Jane Austen Northanger Abbey 102

Finally, much exasperated: Alfred Chester Jamie Is My

Heart’s Desire 252

“If you ever: J. D. Salinger Nine Stories 31

I don’t know: Richard Rodriguez Brown 92

She could sit: D. H. Lawrence Stories Vol III 647

Ketchup on nearly: Sherrie Eldridge 20 Things Adopted

Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew 20

Neither of us: Justin Taylor Everything Here is the Best

Thing Ever 12

“Wouldn’t you like: J. M. Coetzee Waiting for the

Barbarians 89

She was one: V. S. Pritchett Dead Man Leading 25

“But I hate: Kenneth Silverman Begin Again 87

She is a: Stephen Benatar Wish Her Safe at Home vi

“I could use: Justin Taylor Everything Here is the Best

Thing Ever 12

“When I was: Sherrie Eldridge 20 Things Adopted Kids

Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew 26

It was a: Mark Epstein Psychotherapy without the Self: A

Buddhist Perspective 194

23.

I drank two: Wayne Koestenbaum Moira Orfei in Aigues