An Imperfect Circle (9 page)

After Blossom’s brief descriptions of her parents, I’m expecting super strict, suit-wearing, helicopter parents, but I’m wrong. They both seem friendly and normal, if a bit overprotective of their only child. And who can blame them.

Becky is awesome.

I sat down an
d made a new list last night; a list of all the things I want to do with Becky. The girly stuff over the weekend was great but I want to do things that matter. I’d love for her to meet Bear. He has this awesome ability to spend five minutes with a person and understand them completely. It rocks.

This list is clipped to my wall rather than in my pocket. I don’t have a list in my pocket today because it’s remained
the same recently in an effort to be more positive.

I’m wig
-less and devoid of white foundation. Karl’s already seen my hair and hasn’t recognised me and, honestly, I’m enjoying letting myself be me a bit. If Saturday proved anything, it’s that I’m stronger now than I once was and, even though I’m not perfect, I like me.

I’m wearing my skinny black jeans and another customised band t-shirt along with my muddy black boots. Let’s be honest, I’d be drawing too much attention from the
kids at school if I changed too quickly. I have to ease them into it.

I took an earlier bus to school this morning with
the intention of biting the bullet and making the apology I know is due. It’s not something I’m looking forward to but I need to do the right thing.

I’m waiting by the school gates as I see them arriving. All of them. Ian, Rick, Danny, Matt, and Karl. I know they see me as well because Ian’s looking at me like he wants to rip my head off, Karl looks irritated, and Matt looks like he’s getting ready to enjoy the show.

“I need to talk to you,” I glare at Karl, ignoring his entourage.

The twins both make
“ooh” noises and Matt playfully punches one of them in the stomach. He feigns hurt but the two of them leave us alone with a wave to their brothers.

“
Alone,” I growl at Ian and Matt.

“
So you can kick him in the balls again?” Matt grins. “’Cos I gotta say, I want to watch if you’re going to do it again.”

“
Fuck off,” Karl groans, shoving his friend.

“
Karl?” Ian’s attention is solely on his brother, asking something that I’m not party to.

Karl gives a subtle nod without looking at the others. I’m acutely aware that his eyes haven’t left me since I approached them.

Matt leaves with Ian but not before he winks at me. I turn and watch them walk away and, even as I do it, I know I’m just putting off what I have to do so I take a deep breath and turn back around.

“
Look-” I start but Karl cuts me off.

“
You put your contacts back in.”

I just cock my head at him with a blank face
because I’m annoyed that he interrupted me.

“
You have green eyes, right?”

“
Yes, but-” I’m cut off again and I somehow let him get away with it because I’m surprised he noticed. We were only close enough for him to see my eyes properly for a few seconds.

“
Why’d you put them back in?”

I shrug, confused as to why this conversation is going off on a tangent.

“And your name is Ellie?”

“
Will you shut up and let me talk instead of telling me things I already know!” I snap, my stony glare firmly in place.

He smirks, just slightly, with one side of his mouth pulling up higher than the other. Lifting up his arms, he intertwines his fingers behind his head and looks at me like he’s waiting for me to talk. He’s the very definition of a cocky disposition and I hate myself for looking at
the way his biceps are stretching his blue t-shirt for a few seconds too long.

His smirk grows and I know I’ve been caught
looking. He thinks I was checking him out. I wasn’t. I was feeling sorry for the poor cotton fabric he’s threatening to rip in two.

“
Well?” He prompts with that stupid, not-at-all-handsome, smirk.

“
I just wanted to say… well… sorry for, you know,” I gesture towards his crotch but then quickly pull my hand back because it was a weird thing to do. “I overreacted and I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

“
Alright,” Karl nods, pulling his arms down and taking a step closer. “So… Ellie?”

“
I think we’ve already established my name,” I answer in frustration. My apology is done so why do I not feel like this is over?

“
And your eyes are green?” He continues as if I never spoke. There are only a few centimetres between us and my skin tingles from his proximity.

I cross my arms and grit my teeth, ready to turn and walk away.

“And your hair is red?”

I suddenly realise where this might be going and take a step back, grateful for the added distance between
us. Karl’s blue eyes widen slightly and there’s a flicker of triumph there. I don’t want him to figure it out so I head away from him.

“
Hey, come back!” He demands, catching up with me.

I quicken my pace and ignore him.

“I was talking to you,” he smirks, dodging in front of me.

I duck round him.
“And I was done talking. I apologised, now you can go back to pretending I don’t exist.”

He grabs my forearm in an attempt to get me to stop and I swing out at him on instinct. He seems prepared this time and ducks but he gets the message and lets me go.

“Elise, wait!” He calls out.

The sound of my real name from his mouth is enough to make me want to stop and face him. But I don’t. My steps don’t even falter. I
make a beeline for the nearest bathroom, knowing he can’t follow.

After a few breathing exercises, I’ve calmed down. He doesn’t know who I am, he was just guessing because he saw my hair and eyes for the first time and has had some time to think about it.

Even if he figures out who I am, it doesn’t matter. I’m not the same person I was back then and at least he’ll keep his distance if he figures it out.

By
lunchtime, I’ve totally relaxed about it. Becky and I have made a habit of sitting in the common room and she’s gotten used to it somewhat. She’s wearing the new outfit I chose for her and she looks as good as ever. I’ve already noticed that she’s attracting a different kind of attention.

I’ve just finished my first
Wagon Wheel when I notice Ian staring in my direction. He’s sat with his groupies by the radio, which is blaring ‘Spice Girls’. Apparently it’s under the control of Annie and she has awful taste in music.

I meet his gaze with narrowed eyes because he doesn’t exactly look friendly. I watch as he pushes up to standing and faces me. Some of his female fan
club makes to follow but he gives them a look that tells them to stay put. He approaches me with just his friend Rob.

“
What do you want?” I cut him off before he can threaten me again.

“
Friendly aren’t you,” Ian smirks, rudely sitting down on the table where we’re eating.

“
Could say the same about you,” I bite back, looking over at Becky instead of Ian because he obviously thinks he can do whatever he wants and I kind of want to punch him in the face.

“
Do we need to have a little chat,
Ellie
?” Ian leans forward, his voice lower and almost scary.

“
I don’t see what we have to talk about, Ian,” I answer disinterestedly, still watching Becky. Her eyes haven’t left Rob’s profile and he’s actually blushing slightly.

I don’t know much about Rob;
I haven’t had any interaction with him. He’s good looking but that means nothing to me. If he’s interested in Becky then he’s on my radar.

I won’t let anyone hurt her.

“We have plenty to talk about,” Ian growls, distracting me from watching Blossom and Rob.

I know he means more than just the fact that I know Karl’s secret. He means that he knows mine.

“I’m not going to say anything, Ian,” I grimace, leaning back in my chair slightly. “It’s none of my business.”

“
Damn straight,” he frowns, but I can tell he’s slightly relieved. He studies me for a while longer and I ignore him, favouring the ingredients list on the back of my Wagon Wheel wrapper.

“
He’s going to figure it out soon or later, you know,” Ian smirks, whispering so only I can hear him.

I meet his eye
s this time. “I don’t care if he does. At least then he’ll stay away from me.”

Ian opens his mouth but seems to change his mind and just shakes his head with apparent amusement. I go back to ignoring him, shifting my body away to let him
know that this conversation is over.

I hear him chuckle as he turns to leave but he has to stop and wait for Rob who’s still looking at Becky.
She’s blushing and looking down into her box of salad which she seems to find unusually interesting at current.

“
Um, you look nice. Really nice, Becky,” Rob says, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

“
Thanks,” Becky Blossom replies with a squeak. From where I’m sat I can see she’s smiling so much it looks painful but Rob can’t see it from above her.

“
I mean… not that you don’t always look nice… you just… it-”

“
Come on, Casanova,” Ian laughs, dragging his friend away.

Rob half turns round and smiles apologetically at Becky, giving her a short and awkward wave.

“Trying to convert the lezzers, Ian?” Shelley sneers from her perch by the stereo. “I suppose if anyone could do it, you could.”

Ian
clenches his jaw and turns to Ms Queen Bee with a cold expression. “Got a problem with lesbians, Shelly? Or just with girls who have nicer tits than you?”

That shuts her up and she sniffs at him in anger. He just ignores her and throws a wink in my direction. I, of course, just flip him off and he laughs before returning to his entourage.
I don’t need him to defend me. I can defend myself.

“
Oh my god!” Becky whispers excitedly, in her own little world and oblivious to the venom being cast about by the resident snake. “Rob Wilson just said I looked nice!”

“
Because you do look nice,” I laugh, happy because she looks happy. “Is that the first time he’s complimented you?” I don’t like the idea that he’s only showing an interest now that she’s dressed differently. Becky deserves somebody who likes what’s inside.

Becky’s blush returns.
“Um, well… not really, I mean. I’m not sure. He’s my partner in English but we mostly talk about the books. He really likes crime and that’s not really my thing. I prefer the classics and he usually laughs at me when I took about Mr Darcy or-”

“
Compliments, Blossom,” I laugh again because her rambling is endearing.

“
Oh, yeah,” she grins bashfully. “He sort of said my hair was red once. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment. He said I smelt like flowers too but I was wearing my perfume for the first time and he could have just been commenting.”

I cock my head at her because it’s kind of adorable that she can’t tel
l he was trying to chat her up.

“
Do you like him?” I ask even though it’s obvious she does.

She nods with the continuing blush on her cheeks.
“He’s really clever and funny and he plays the drums and he has a band and-” she realises she’s rambling again and bites her lip, smiling bashfully.

“
Do you like him?” She returns my question hopefully.

“
I don’t really know him,” I shrug. Becky’s brow falls slightly and her shoulder slump. “But he’s in my business studies class. I can try and get to know him a bit if you like?”

She brightens up and nods
enthusiastically. “Awesome sauce.”

I make an extra effort to talk to Rob in my Business Studies class but I think he’s kind of scared of me because it’s like pulling teeth. I sneak a peek at the essay he’s written for homework and it’s good. Really good. I figure he must be a bright guy and that’s something in the plus column. I haven’t caught his eyes anywhere except the desk or my face either so that’s another one.

I think I’ll have to wait to make a judgement on Rob. If he is interested in Becky, and I’m fairly sure he is, then he better be prepared for battle. Blossom is special and she deserves no less than perfect in a boyfriend.

Blossom is meant to be meeting me by the school entrance to walk to the library together
after school. I’m hoping we won’t be bumping into any Carters this time. I’m almost there when Matt calls out my name.

I grit my teeth and turn around to face him, prepared for an argument.

“I’ve decided I like you, demongirl,” he informs me.

“
Lucky me,” I drawl, raising an eyebrow at him.

“
Lucky indeed,” he grins. “I’m fucking awesome.” He’s boasting and he’s pulling it off because I can tell he almost believes it but I still have that feeling he’s hiding the little boy I once knew. I wonder if it’s as obvious to everyone that this guy has some mega demons. Maybe you have to have your own demons to be able to see somebody else’s.