An Indecent Longing (11 page)

Had Ian been here or had he just arrived? Why was he coming toward their table? Had Ben asked him to join them?

Why would he do that?

You should’ve come clean.

She should’ve told him she knew he was related to Ian. Should’ve told him about her relationship with Ian.

What relationship?

Could she have told Ben she’d thought she’d found a soul mate in Ian, after less than three days of their first meeting?

Or that, when Ian had cut her off so completely, she’d felt like she was in mourning for something that had never been?

She managed to pull herself together before they got to the table so when the men slid into the booth she didn’t blurt out something stupid. Luckily, the band was playing so all she really had to do was nod in Ian’s direction then redirect her attention to the stage.

Unluckily for her, they announced a short break after that song.

“Dorrie, you know my cousin, Ian. I asked him to join us. Hope you don’t mind. He and I live together.”

Did she mind? How the hell was she supposed to answer that?

As Ian stared at her with those sharp blue eyes, she knew she couldn’t keep pretending.

“Yes, I know.”

The quick look they exchanged gave her a tiny sense of satisfaction. She’d surprised them. Good.

But Ian wasn’t surprised for long. His gaze narrowed. “When did you find out?”

“Blank told me this morning. Was it supposed to be a secret?”

Ian’s jaw clenched at the challenge in her voice, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben’s lips curve in a slight smile.

She turned to Ben, determined not to be taken in by that killer grin. And failing completely.

Her gut clenched as that grin grew. “No. It wasn’t supposed to be a secret. And I had no idea you and Ian knew each other until last night.”

Last night seemed so far away right now; so much had happened since she’d heard that first shot fired. She felt like a different person, someone tired of who she’d been before.

“Did you know I slept in your bed last night?”

She saw the shock in both men’s faces, knew they hadn’t been expecting her to ask so blunt a question.

Ian’s jaw clenched. “Yes, I knew.”

She swallowed hard before she asked her next question. “Were you there last night?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben go still, his gaze slicing back and forth between her and Ian. But she couldn’t take her eyes off Ian. He sat so still, watching her like a cat watches a rabbit just before pouncing.

Holding her gaze, he nodded. “Yes.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. “You were in bed with me last night.”

The muscle in his jaw twitched but he didn’t back down. “Yes.”

She switched her attention to Ben. “Is that why you took me home? For your cousin to humiliate me again?”

“Dorrie, no—”

“Goddammit—”

She held up one hand and they fell silent. Satisfaction gave her the courage to continue.

“Then why?”

Ben immediately answered. “Because I wanted to get to know you better. And yeah, curiosity. Because you’re the first woman Ian’s looked at in years.”

“Ben.”

Ian’s sharp tone felt like a blade, but it wasn’t directed at her. He was glaring daggers at Ben, whose attention never wavered from her.

“I have no idea what happened between the two of you. Ian wouldn’t say a word. But he’s the one who told me not to leave your side last night. Maybe we should ask Ian why he did that. Don’t you want to know why? Because I certainly do.”

Her breath hitched as she switched her attention back to Ian. “Why would you do that? I thought—”

She stopped, not knowing what to think.

“What did you think?” Ben prompted when she fell silent, still staring at Ian.

“I thought I’d done something to make you…dislike me.”

“You don’t want to have this conversation here.”

Ian’s ice-cold tone made her draw back, but Ben grabbed her hand and squeezed. She couldn’t believe the comfort she got from his touch, which counteracted the frostbite she felt from Ian’s stare.

But even in his stare, she thought she saw desire.

No, that couldn’t be right.

“Then let’s go back to the house.”

Amazingly, Ben’s suggestion made perfect sense at the moment because she had a few things to say to Ian, and she didn’t want to do them in public.

Sliding out of the booth, she stood, looking back at Ian and Ben, who both appeared shocked.

“Or was that just an idle threat?”

“It wasn’t a threat.”

She hadn’t thought Ian’s voice could get any rougher.

Before she could respond, Ben had thrown money on the table and slid out of the booth.

“Ian, we’ll see you at home.”

Then Ben leaned down to speak into Ian’s ear. She couldn’t hear what he said, but the look the cousins exchanged held for several long seconds.

Ben turned, took her arm, and started toward the exit.

She refused to look back to see if Ian followed.

The drive back to their house had been quiet.

Ben had considered trying to get Dorrie to talk to him but figured he’d wait until she and Ian got whatever the hell was caught between them out in the open. Then he would move to phase two of the plan.

And that phase would be a whole lot more pleasurable than this.

Because this sucked.

Dorrie sat next to him, stiff and silent. So different from the woman he’d picked up tonight. And, damn it all to hell, he wanted that woman back.

Ian had better not fuck this up or I’m going to beat the shit out of him.

Saturday night traffic crawled through the city, and the tension in the car climbed with each passing minute until, by the time they got back to his home, he really thought she’d tell him to take her home, that she was done with both of them and to fuck the hell off.

Frankly, they probably deserved whatever hell she rained down on them.

So when she got out of the car and followed him into the house from the garage, he breathed a silent sigh of relief.

Half the battle won.

“You want a drink?”

She’d stopped in the middle of the living room, hands clenched at her sides. But as soon as he started to speak, she’d shaken out her hands and turned to face him.

“Why did you ask me out tonight?”

“Because I want you.”

She shook her head, and the confusion in her expression made him close the distance between them to take her hands in his.

“Listen to me very carefully, Dorrie, and hear me. No matter what comes out of Ian’s mouth tonight, believe me when I say you never have to doubt the fact that I want you. I look at you and I want to kiss you, strip you naked, and let my hands touch you all over.”

Her eyes had widened with each word. He’d shocked her. Good. He wanted to keep her off center because he wanted her to have to concentrate on what he was saying.

“I think you’re smart and pretty and a little sarcastic, and that’s a dangerous combination for me. It makes me hot for you. Just remember that when he snarls at you.”

Seconds later, the back door slammed shut, and before she realized what he was going to do, he leaned forward and kissed her.

And not some soft brush of his lips against hers.

No, he pressed his mouth against hers and kissed her with every ounce of desire coursing through his veins.

Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, he dragged her against his chest, resisting the invitation of her parted lips as she gasped to deepen the kiss. But he made sure she realized exactly how he felt about her.

Her taste made him want to linger, but he knew she and Ian had to hash out whatever Ian had done to hurt her.

And when he found out exactly what Ian had done to put that look on her face, he’d make sure he kicked Ian’s ass the next time they were in the ring together.

When he pulled away, he nodded with satisfaction at the surprise on her face.

“I’ll be in the kitchen. He,” Ben nodded over his shoulder at Ian, who he knew was standing in the doorway between the dining room and the living room, “gives you any trouble, you only need to say the word and I’ll take you home.”

Then he turned and walked toward Ian on his way to the kitchen.

“Don’t fuck this up.”

Ian’s jaw clenched with the effort to stay quiet.

As Ben walked through to the kitchen, he sucked in a breath, hoping he’d be able to breathe until Ian and Dorrie worked out their differences.

Ian had walked into the room just as Ben wrapped Dorrie in his arms and kissed her.

The sight should’ve made him want to rip Ben’s arms off.

The fact that it didn’t… He’d have to give that serious thought. Later.

Now, he needed to figure out what the hell he was going to say to Dorrie. Because keeping his distance was no longer an option. He could’ve blamed Ben for pushing him into this, but he only had himself to blame.

He wanted her, the longing building into a constant ache that he needed to satisfy. Then maybe he could finally expunge it.

If that seemed harsh… Well, life wasn’t all puppy dogs and rainbows, was it?

Sometimes, life gave you a beautiful woman you couldn’t have.

Dorrie stared at him from across the room, chin high, mouth set. But her eyes…

Damn, those eyes looked bruised. Because of him.

He could tell she wanted to say something but sank her teeth into her bottom lip to hold it back. Waiting for him.

What the hell did he say?

Did he lay it all on the line, tell her he knew who she worked for and that it disgusted him? That he wanted her in spite of that?

Did he tell her that the man she worked for had been responsible for his dad’s death? And that he wanted to despise her but couldn’t because he wanted to throw her on his bed and sink deep inside her?

And that he had the growing desire to watch her come apart while Ben fucked her?

She’d call him a prick and he’d deserve it. And she’d never let him get as close to her as she’d gotten to Ben.

So what the fuck did he say?

“I never meant to deliberately hurt you.”

Her head tilted to the side, her expression unchanged. “It certainly felt deliberate.”

He shook his head. “If I had wanted to deliberately hurt you, you wouldn’t be standing here right now. You know nothing about me, Dorrie.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You’re absolutely right. I have to wonder if everything you told me was a lie because the man I met three months ago isn’t the same man standing here.”

His jaw locked as that one hit a little too close to home. “What do you want to hear, Dorrie? What I told you that night still stands. I’m not an easy guy to get to know. There are things I can’t tell you, things I don’t
want
you to know about me. Things I’ve done that would make you cringe.”

Her gaze dropped and she swallowed hard. “And how do you know that I don’t have my own secrets?”

“Everyone has secrets. Some are just too much for other people to handle.”

“Why did you even bother with me that night?”

Because he’d been smitten. He wanted to know who the fuck had come up with that word because he wanted to beat the shit out them. It sounded medieval but it perfectly explained the way he’d felt the first time he’d seen her.

“Because I couldn’t fucking walk away. I saw you, and for the first time in months, I found a woman who made me want to ignore the rest of the fucking world.”

He realized his voice had risen until he was almost shouting. But Dorrie didn’t back down, didn’t cringe.

She stood there, watching him with a steady gaze. No fear in her eyes, thank God. He didn’t want to scare her. But he did see anger.

“Then what happened?” Her hands went to her hips, demanding an answer. “Why did you disappear? You treated me like a freaking leper and you never gave me the chance to ask why.”

Why wasn’t a question he could answer without telling her he knew whom she worked for. And to do that would mean the end. Of tonight. Of Ben’s attraction to her. Of her looking at him the way she was now.

Yes, it made him a sonuvabitch, but he didn’t want her to stop wanting him. Because he fucking couldn’t stop wanting her.

If Ben had his way, they’d be sharing the same damn bed tonight. And the longer he stood here looking at her, the more his objection to that thought lessened.

If sharing her with Ben was the only way he could have her, then so be it because at this moment in time, he’d take her any way he could get her.

“I can’t give you an answer. All I can give you is this.”

He closed the inches between them, wrapped one hand around her nape and the other on her hip, and yanked her against his chest. Her hands instinctively slapped at his chest to push him away, but when he put his mouth on hers, her fingers curled into his shirt.

The frustration raging through his body lent even more heat to the kiss, flaring to a raging fire. He’d been dreaming about kissing her for months, dying for a taste of her. And now that he had… He wouldn’t be happy until he tasted her complete surrender.

She’d sucked in a shocked gasp of air before their lips had met, but now she groaned as his lips moved on hers. And when her head turned to the side, he took the movement for the invitation it was.

His hold became even more demanding and his lips prized hers apart to allow his tongue to slide into her mouth. He demanded she let him in but she didn’t need much convincing. Her tongue slid along his, tentative desire in the way she moved against him.

It made his hands tighten on her until he knew he had to let her go or he’d hurt her.

And since there was no way he wanted to do that, he forced his fingers to release her and instead wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

Which resulted in her being crushed against his chest. Rounded curves met hard muscle and he groaned with pleasure. And when she slid her hands from his chest to curve them around his neck, he thought about walking her backward to the couch so he could lay her out on it and kiss his way down her body.

Then she tilted her head so he could kiss her deeper and his brain short-circuited. His body only had one goal. To satisfy his desire for her.

It’d been an all-consuming thing that he’d managed to tame. Until now.

Now it roared up and overtook every part of him.

He kissed her harder, unable to get close enough as his hands flattened on her back. One stayed anchored at the middle, ensuring her upper body stayed pinned to his. The other slid lower, to the curve of her slim ass.

Petting her, he pulled her closer until her mound nestled against the ridge of his already aching arousal. He didn’t seem to have any control over his body, every molecule of his being firmly focused on one thing.

Her.

He could barely breathe but he continued to kiss her, his mouth moving over her lips with increasing hunger while his hands began to roam. He didn’t have to hold her in place against him now. She clung, shimmied against him, trying to get closer, and that just made him want to beat his chest.

She moaned and the sound echoed in his ears, tightening muscles and making his cock throb. She sounded as hungry as he felt.

Without warning, he took her off her feet and walked her to the couch. Her only reaction was a slight gasp and to tighten her arms around his neck.

Breaking the kiss, he watched her as he laid her out on the couch. She watched his every move through slitted lids, as if she expected him to leave her there, alone. No way in hell was that happening. He didn’t think he could leave now if the house was coming down around them.

His only thought was to silently thank Ben for insisting on this monstrosity of a couch. The wide, overstuffed sectional was perfect for stretching out to watch a hockey game. And to lay out Dorrie.

The dark sand color set off her skin and hair perfectly. But he wanted more.

“I’m going to take off that dress.” He didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings between them. “And then I’m going to put my hands all over you.”

She swallowed hard before she nodded, a jerky motion that showed her nerves.

“You’re not frightened of me, are you, Dorrie?”

Immediately, she shook her head. “Not physically, no.”

He didn’t move forward, just continued to stare at her. “Then what are you afraid of?”

“Honestly, I’m afraid you’re going to leave again. And I don’t want to feel like that again.”

“Like what?”

She shook her head. “You’re a smart man. You can figure that out without me having to spell it out.”

Good to know she hadn’t lost her sharp tongue. It was one of the things he liked most about her. And something he’d only ever seen her use on him.

With Ben, she seemed to be all sweetness and smiles.

Ben. He should be here.

The thought caught him unaware and made him stop for a split second before he could push it out of his mind. He’d think about that complication later.

Now, he was going to make sure this woman knew exactly what he wanted from her.

“I’m not leaving. And I think I want you to strip for me.”

“Who says it’s going to be that easy to get me out of my clothes?”

Ah, a challenge. Something he and Ben had in common. They both loved a challenge.

He took a step closer and watched her eyes get bigger.

“Then I guess you need more convincing.”

Stepping to the couch, he knelt on the cushion next to her hip then leaned forward to kiss her again.

Slipping his fingers through her hair, he tilted her head to the side, kissing her harder than he had before. His hunger slipped the leash and he found himself pressed full-length against her, her body trapped beneath his.

She couldn’t move much, but when she did, every nerve ending in his body lit up. He wanted to strip her naked and take her now but that would make him a total ass.

So he shut off his brain and let his body lead.

And his body wanted to be closer.

Sliding his legs between hers, he made a space for himself, forcing her to spread her thighs. Which made her dress ride up until the only things between them were her underwear and his jeans.

His right hand had already slid down to her exposed thigh and when his palm made contact with her skin, he groaned, low and deep.

The heat of her skin made his lungs contract until he could barely breathe. The lack of oxygen made him light-headed, harder for him to think. Just her bare thigh wasn’t enough. He needed more.

His hand slid higher—and hers slid down his back to wrench his t-shirt up, exposing his back.

Now her hands slid across his skin as her tongue teased along his. She began to demand more, and he wanted to give her everything.

He couldn’t give her everything. Hell, he couldn’t even give her all of the truth.

But they could have some relief.

And what about Ben?

The thought blasted through his mind as she scraped her nails along his back and bent her left knee so he could settle even more closely against her.

Ben should be here.

One of her hands continued up into his hair, tugging on the short strands until his scalp burned.