An Outback Affair/Runaway Wife/Outback Bridegroom/Outback Surrender/Home To Eden (29 page)

“Really?” Anger ran through him like a dark, bitter undercurrent. It showed itself in the blue flash of his eyes, the set of his head and shoulders, the force of his grip. “Even now you're trying to control me. You know it. You want to stay the only woman who has gone deep down inside me. Some women are like that.”

“Not me!” She seemed to be straining to breathe.

“You can't take rejection, Chrissy, any more than I could. I loved you,” he said fiercely, “but you didn't care enough. This is all about power now. The power of a beautiful woman. You're
used to making a spectacular impact. It probably keeps you sparking on all cylinders. Only you're not asserting that power over me. I'm tired of wasting my life over you. It's agonizing. I'm the fool who's lived a stupid dream. It's kept me from getting on with my life. But the world wouldn't end if you left me again. I've survived separation once already.”

“I have too. Don't you think the knowledge I hurt you so badly bites deep? I'm so sorry. I'm beseeching you to sweep away the unhappy past.”

“It's not that easy, Chrissy.” He shook his head.

“Let it rest!”

“It's hard to forget what you did.”

“Then why do you kiss me like you do?” She locked her eyes on his face. “It makes no sense.”

“I'm human,” he gritted. “Sometimes it's impossible for me to understand myself. Pride means everything to a man.”

“What's pride got to do with it when we're talking about love?”

“Who said I still love you?” Behind his head was the dazzling star-studded sky.

“I say you do.”

“No more.” He shook his head. “The answer's simple. It's sex, Chrissy. I'll say again, sex has nothing to do with love or happiness.”

“Agreed—only I don't accept what you're saying. You're trying to punish me. I know you, Mitch. We grew up together, remember? You loved me as your friend before we ever became lovers.”

“A profound mistake.” His tone was dark. “I've relinquished faith in you, Chrissy, when once I had all the faith in the world. For all I know you could be looking for great sex too. Despite everything we know it'd still work.”

“Except I don't come cheap.”

“That goes without saying. So what do you want? It can't be money. I think it's still possession.”

Shadowed by the palm, blind and deaf to everything but themselves and their abandonment to anger, they failed to hear a sweet syrupy voice until the owner of the voice was almost upon them.

“Mitch, where are you?” It was Amanda, pretending she didn't know where Mitch had disappeared to when she'd been keeping him and Christine under close surveillance all night.

“Damn!” Mitch sobered in an instant. “You never know what to expect with Amanda.”

“I'd call it an ambush.” Christine tossed her hair back from her heated face. “You go and pay her a lot of attention, Mitch. It'll take your mind off me and hopefully dull your senses. I'll go
back the other way.” With that she moved with the swiftness of a gazelle, already out of sight before Mitch had eased his rangy figure back into the light.

“There you are, Mitch!” Amanda exclaimed in delight, her pretty face dimpling.

She was fascinated with Mitch Claydon. Fascinated with everything about him. She prayed he would start paying her more attention. He'd been her escort at the last Outback ball. Of course she'd approached him—put him on the spot, actually—but he could have refused or made up some excuse. He hadn't. He'd even kissed her at the end of that glorious night, putting her in a delirium of excitement and pleasure. Maybe he'd been a tiny bit drunk. All the guys had been. But she was certain he liked her. In some quarters she was very, very popular, but she'd never scored a date with Golden-Boy Claydon. That was what all the girls called him.

Now he was walking towards her, exuding a powerful sexuality. She was certain he'd been with Christine Reardon. Those sparkling blue eyes were alight with arousal and some spark of anger. They'd had an argument, she supposed.

Good!

Nevertheless, Amanda experienced a thrust of jealousy so sharp and so deep it shocked her. Christine Reardon was getting right on her nerves.
Wasn't she supposed to have been the great love of his life? Yet she'd left him behind. What woman in her right mind would do that? She'd kill for Mitch Claydon. There was still a deep attachment between them, though. She'd been watching them all night out of the corner of her eye. She couldn't wait for the supermodel to pack her bags and fly off for the Big Apple, or somewhere just as far. The sooner the better. Mitch Claydon was everything any sane woman could ever want.

Quickly, sweetly, Amanda took his arm, her softly voluptuous body blooming. “I'm so enjoying myself, Mitch,” she crooned. “I can't thank you enough for inviting me. And Shel, of course. Shel doesn't get out much. She prefers to be at home than out at a party.”

“Maybe she's kept far too busy?” Mitch suggested dryly. “It's no secret Shelley works very hard.”

“Of course she does,” Amanda agreed, sounding mortified. “But she thrives on it. She wouldn't do it otherwise. I must say it's been thrilling to see Christine again. She's so gorgeous, and she doesn't have any airs and graces to her. I love that. We've all missed her. I expect you've missed her too?”

“I certainly have.” He hoped that would put Amanda off.

“Wasn't there one time you and she were going to get married?” She glanced up at his marvellous face.

“I don't know how many times you've asked me that, Amanda.”

She gave a little breathy laugh. “I guess we're all in awe of Christine. Not everyone gets to be a supermodel. She must have the most glamorous lifestyle—star treatment, all the guys in love with her. Poor old me—I'd be scared of that world myself. Those models try everything! The things you read about them… But Christine knows how to keep her head. She must have had great strength of character, getting off the drugs.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Mitch stared down at her.

“Oh, gosh. I've put my foot in it.”

“No need to sound so pleased.”

“Pleased?” Amanda injected a whole lot of dismay into her voice. “I'm not pleased. How could you say that, Mitch? But surely you know, or you've heard about it? Why, a few years back Christine admitted in an interview to experimenting with designer drugs. Curiosity, mainly, she said, and obviously she can control it. Some people can, apparently. They take it or leave it. Can't be easy, I tell myself.”

“You're talking absolute rubbish,” Mitch said flatly.

“Oh, dear. I'm sorry!” Amanda let out a little woeful cry. “You're so surprised. I really didn't expect that. I'm fairly certain I've still got the magazine. I thought she was a tiny bit indiscreet, admitting to it, but of course in her world it must be all around her.”

“I dare say it is, but Christine knows how to look after herself. She doesn't do drugs. I'm certain of that. So don't go spreading any damaging gossip. She's denied ever taking them.”

“To you?” Amanda looked up appealingly. “Well, she would, wouldn't she? She's not going to risk losing your respect. Anyway, as I say, it was a few years back. She's probably got it out of her system. Please don't be angry, Mitch. I admire Christine as much as you do. But we don't live in her world, so we can't judge her. In the circles she moves in I dare say the temptations are very strong. It's fantastic, too, that she's got this thing going with Ben Savage, the soap star. He's gorgeous!”

“Did you read that too?” Mitch asked in a jaundiced voice.

“Who hasn't?” She giggled. “Apparently they share a very sexual relationship. At any rate, he's following her to Australia. That must be sooo exciting! Squillions of women fantasize about Ben Savage. Me included. Christine must be sizzling with anticipation.”

He slipped his hands into his pockets casually. “I'm surprised she hasn't mentioned it.”

“People in the public eye tend to get a little weird about their privacy. They're used to the paparazzi running after them. They adore Christine everywhere. She's a megastar. After the life she's lived she'd find it impossible to settle down back home—not that she will, if Ben Savage has anything to do with it.” Amanda laughed gaily, running a playful finger down the sleeve of Mitch's jacket. “If we're very, very lucky we might even get to meet him.”

The party went on until around two-thirty a.m., when everyone decided to catch a few hours' sleep.

“Everything okay with you?” Sarah asked Christine very quietly as they walked down the hallway to their rooms. “Under the sparkle I sense upset.” Sarah's velvety brown eyes were kind and affectionate and, beyond that, highly perceptive.

“You're an expert at picking it up,” Christine said, a wry smile on her mouth. “As a matter of fact Mitch and I had a few words that could easily have got out of hand if we hadn't been interrupted by Amanda. She seems to get into a panic when Mitch is out of her sight.”

“She has an enormous crush on him,” Sarah
confirmed. “What a difference there is between the sisters! Amanda is very pretty, but it's Shelley who touches everyone's heart. She has that little air of valour.”

“Yes,” Christine agreed quietly. “She's taken it on her narrow shoulders to look after her family. Such selflessness is rare.”

“I agree. So what about your clash with Mitch? I sensed he was upset as well.”

“He wasn't exactly struggling to get free of Amanda.”

Sarah shook her head. “He doesn't take her seriously, Chris. She's the one making all the effort.”

“Maybe.” Christine gave a thin smile. “He did tell me he wasn't going to waste any more of his life on me. That hurt. But it's finally brought home to me just how much I hurt him.”

Sarah put an arm around her friend and hugged her. “You had to leave, Chris. It wasn't what you wanted. It was what you had to do. I can certainly empathize. I kept my deepest secret for years. I caused Kyall great pain.”

“You had your reasons, Sarah. You must have lived a nightmare with none of us to help you. Both you and Kyall suffered because of my grandmother. Were she still alive I think I'd strangle her—” Christine broke off, a tremor in her voice.

“Kyall told you, of course. About the way Ruth allowed me to believe my baby had died.”

Tears stung Christine's eyes. “What a terrible sin! The whole story shocked me out of my mind. Kyall exposed our grandmother for what she was. A megalomaniac who didn't care for anything outside her own will. Because of her you and Kyall were deprived of the great joy of watching your daughter grow up. I was deprived of a niece. Mum and Dad of a grandchild. It's a miracle that years later you've found her. But one question bothers me, Sarah. Surely Fiona's adoptive mother must have realized at some point Fiona wasn't her child?”

Sarah assumed a calmness she didn't feel. It was a question she had struggled with on her own. “If she did, she deliberately blinded herself to it. She loves Fiona. I can forgive her, because our daughter had a happy childhood, and when she's ready she'll come to us—her real parents. It would be too cruel to sever the ties with her adoptive family. Kyall and I don't want that. Fiona loves them as they love her. They'll always be allowed in her life.”

“Which is perhaps more than they deserve, if you look at it from a certain angle,” Christine said. “They had their happiness at the expense of yours. It's an extraordinary story, Sarah. Both of us in our way were driven away by my grand
mother. There's a happy ending for you and Kyall and your beautiful daughter, but Mitch still doesn't fully understand how it was for me. I laboured all my life for love and approval from my mother and grandmother. Instead I got never-ending criticism.”

“It hasn't embittered you, Chris,” Sarah assured her, anxious to offer comfort. “Though understandably it has left its mark. Some childhood scars remain for life. But you've still got the same lovely warm nature. There are considerable similarities between your story and mine. We were both forced to leave the men we loved behind. Both of them found it very difficult battling rejection. Both felt abandoned. Both are proud men.”

“I think in a way Mitch hates me.” There was a hollow feeling inside Christine's chest. “He certainly resents me.”

Sarah touched her friend's shoulder. “That's not true, Chris. I'm sure in his heart he continues to love you, but he's fighting it. He doesn't know your plans. He doesn't know whether he can risk handing over his heart again. He's on guard. A man is just as vulnerable as a woman. He has just as miserable a time of it when love bonds are broken.” Sarah sought Christine's eyes. “Can I ask you have you thought ahead to the sort of life you really want? You're famous now. You travel
the world. Your photograph is everywhere. Could you turn your back on all that?”

“Tomorrow,” Christine replied like a shot.

“Are you sure? Your glamorous life over?” Sarah asked with some gravity.

Christine's smile was almost peaceful. “I've lived it for years now, Sarah. I've found no one to take Mitch's place in my heart. I've had a few serious relationships, thinking they might work. My biological clock is ticking over. I want children, family, a husband—my life partner. I want the sort of things that make a woman feel fulfilled, not to wonder what I missed out on.

“It's not fame. That's very overrated. Or it is in my case. I want to be loved. I want to be the most important person in the world to that special someone. I don't want to finish up lonely. I regard having children as a great achievement, not making the cover of a glossy fashion magazine. By the same token I'm all for a woman having a career
and
marriage, though it seems to be a tall order. I've seen quite a few marriages crash because of career commitments. I guess for it to work both sides have to make compromises. The woman particularly. You're a gifted doctor, but you need Kyall's love. You need your daughter. And I'm sure you and Kyall want more children?”