An Outback Affair/Runaway Wife/Outback Bridegroom/Outback Surrender/Home To Eden (32 page)

He laughed. “So you think I should have slugged Amanda like I slugged Cody? I don't hit women.”

“I forgot. You kiss them.” All of a sudden she thought briefly, furiously, of the number of women he had probably kissed. And he was a great kisser.

“I'm about to kiss you.” He reached out and
caught her wrist, the little callused pads on his fingers sending quivers along her skin.

“Make it deep and passionate so I can remember it.”

“I will. Don't worry.” In one breathtaking sweep he gathered her in with one arm, lowering his mouth over hers. “I want it all,” he murmured. “I want everything about you.”

She could have fainted away, her level of excitement was so great. She could feel the sweet heaviness in her breasts, at the pit of her stomach. She reached up her arms to clasp them behind his neck, wanting more of his mouth, more of his tongue, of the warm, lean, hard body that held her so tightly.

She was all yearning, desire swirling in her blood like a flash flood. She could feel his hands running down over her body as though he wanted to tear her clothes from her. She didn't care. She was encouraging him with funny little whimpers she didn't recognise as her own.

“Oh, Mitch, darling!” That cry of hers was full of longing.

His mouth was dragging down over her face, across her hot cheeks to her pulsing lips. He was breathing something into her mouth she couldn't quite hear because there was such a tumult in her. Endearments?

“I want everything.”

Their kisses and caresses intensified, her fingers and nails kneading his taut flesh. Where was this going? Another minute and they'd be on the bed. Wasn't that what she wanted more than anything in the world?

Want and nothing more! The longing alone was excruciating.

She was all tousled hair, scarlet-cheeked, panting, her shirt swinging open from the slow sliding of his hands over her breasts, when a knock on the door shocked them back to reality.

“Oh, God, I don't believe this!”

“Steady, steady…” he cautioned.

Frantically she set about buttoning up her shirt. There was no time to tuck it in. She had to let it hang loose.

Mitch ran a ruthless hand through his golden locks. “Looks like the only way I can have you is to take you out bush.”

“Don't think I won't come,” she promised, a wry little smile about her mouth. “Hang on!” she called, as the knock came a second time. “Do I look all right?” she appealed to Mitch, her face flushed and filled with heart-wrenching excitement.

“Thoroughly kissed, but that's fine.” That was the way to handle Chris. Kiss her senseless. “It's probably Mum.”

It was. Julanne, smiling a little uncertainly,
stood outside the door. She took one look at Christine's radiant rosy face, then glanced beyond her to her son. “What's life without romance?” She smiled with emphasis and warmth.

“Speaking for myself, no fun at all,” Mitch moved with indolent grace to where his mother was standing. He patted her gently on the cheek. “I was just telling Chris how much we've enjoyed her stay.”

“Indeed we have.” Julanne looked from one to the other. “There will be other times, surely, before you have to go back to Sydney, Chris?”

“There was talk of a fundraiser for the hospital,” she said, turning to snap her last piece of luggage shut and regain her composure at the same time. “Sarah came up with the idea of a polo match-picnic. It will be held on Wunnamurra.” Another excuse to see Mitch.

“Kyall hasn't said a word about it.”

“It's not finalised yet.” She turned back to him brightly. “But he will. You're his best player.”

“No better than Kyall. Then we'll get to see you again pretty soon?”

She was aware she blushed. “I'll make sure of it.”

 

There was no time for Christine to have a private word with Amanda until they landed on
Wybourne Station, fifty miles as the crow flies to the south-east of Marjimba.

No one was around to meet them. The whole place had a look of quiet desolation, though Christine knew from experience there were numerous beauty spots across the large sheep and cattle station. An open Jeep was parked in the shade of the empty hangar and Kyall, flanked by Sarah and Shelley, walked towards it to see if the keys were in the ignition. It was years now, Christine had learned, since Patrick Logan had been forced to sell his Cessna.

“I really did think Dad would be down here to meet us,” Amanda said crossly, shading her eyes. “He hardly does anything for us any more.”

“He hasn't had any treatment for his condition all this time?” Christine asked in a kindly, concerned voice.

“What condition?” Amanda jerked back as though bitten by a death adder.

“I'm sorry, but there can't be a more terrible thing than to lose one's child,” Christine apologized. “Little Sean was so loved, depression must have settled over your parents.”

“And there's a cure for depression?” Amanda asked in a bitter, resentful tone. “It's been years now, not yesterday. Other people rebuild their lives. Mum and Dad simply turned off the engines.”

Christine studied the young woman in front of her with a measure of dismay. “How terribly sad, Amanda. But there are anti-depressant medicines, counselling, methods for survival. You must help your parents do something about it. At some stage in our lives all of us are going to need help.”

“Dad won't take any help from anyone,” Amanda said in a surprisingly hard tone. “Mum sees Sarah from time to time. I grieved myself, though I was only small, but no one worries about me.”

“I'm sure they do,” Christine assured her. “But, as you said yourself, you were young, Amanda. A child in development. You had time to work it through. I'm talking about your parents. And Shelley. Everyone says she works so hard.”

Amanda frowned, as though she wasn't at all sure about that. “Everyone is very concerned about my sister and how she copes with all the pressures. I say it gives her a chance to make up for what she did.”

Christine felt herself recoil in shock. She stared into Amanda's pretty face, chilled and disbelieving. These were sisters. She would have loved a sister. “What she did?” she echoed. “It could have been you, Amanda, who walked away and left the twins unattended.”

Amanda turned on her fiercely, powerfully outraged. “That's not true!”

“You're too ready to blame your sister.” Christine had heard the crack of jealousy in Amanda's tone. “She's had to shoulder the burden of guilt for most of her life.”

“Have you considered she deserves it?” Amanda stood her ground, terrible memories stirred up.

Christine felt herself swallow hard. “I can't believe you said that.”

“She pushed him in. Saved herself.” Amanda's eyes flashed, seemingly without compassion.

“Or you were there, perhaps, too late?”

For a moment Amanda's expression went absolutely blank. “I can't believe you're blaming me,” she said finally. “Shel was always getting into trouble for being naughty. She was hyper-active, just like she is today.”

“I've heard she's making quite a success of the tourist scheme,” Christine pointed out loyally.

“Do you really think she doesn't have help? I do all I can. I may not roll my sleeves up and get dirty, but I have talents Shel doesn't possess. Anyway, I really don't want to talk about this, Christine. I don't even know where you're coming from. You're a stranger these days. It's our tragedy, not yours.”

“Then you shouldn't spend so much time keeping it alive,” Christine responded without hesi
tation. “By the way I'm not standing here in the hot sun talking to you for nothing.”

“No, you're being deliberately offensive.” Anger beat in waves around Amanda.

“I am, in fact, being quite restrained. I have a bone to pick with you, Amanda.”

“I'm sure I can deal with it,” Amanda snapped.

“You'd be a fool if you didn't. You told Mitch you'd read an article about me in which I admitted to having been a drug-user?”

Amanda's full lips parted, but for a few telling seconds no sound came out. “Mitch told you?” she croaked discordantly.

“Indeed he did. Mitch and I are very close. We have been since childhood.”

“That's interesting!” Amanda's expression sharpened. “Because Mitch told me he hadn't thought of you in years. You chose your course. You were out of his life. Did he tell you that?”

“Amanda, I don't believe Mitch said that at all. You're just trying to make trouble. It could be one of your flaws.”

Amanda stared back as though mesmerized. “Hey, why are you attacking me in this way?”

“Think of it as my defending my reputation.” Christine continued to stare into Amanda's eyes, refusing to allow her gaze to slide away. “You can't lie about me and get away with it. I'll take
action. I might have a word with your parents if I have to.”

“You wouldn't.” Amanda lost some of her high colour.

“Try me. I'm going to ask Sarah to keep her ears open for any ugly little rumours circulating regarding me or my lifestyle. I hope I make myself clear?”

It was obvious Amanda hadn't been prepared for this particular confrontation. “I can't see why you're adopting this attitude,” she said, suddenly drawing on tears from her arsenal. “I thought I read it. I apologize unreservedly if I got it wrong.”

Always the liar. “Just stick to the truth, Amanda. That's good advice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to have a word with Shelley.”

“Our little work freak!” Amanda laughed scornfully. “I hope you're as unpleasant to her as you've been to me.”

Christine regarded the other woman without expression. “With a sister like you she doesn't need anyone else to offer unkindness.” Turning her back, Christine walked away.

A
COUPLE
of days home and Christine missed Mitch as a woman stranded in the desert would miss water. Kyall had Sarah, the two of them exuding happiness through their very pores. They had heard yesterday—and it was a matter for great celebration—that Fiona would finally be coming home to Wunnamurra two weeks before the wedding. Christine didn't want to dwell on how the Hazeltons, the couple who had reared Fiona as their own, would be feeling. They would be devastated—in a manner of speaking tasting the grief of bereavement.

So many bad things seemed to have started and ended with her grandmother. Ruth had damaged not only her family but many people around her, including the Hazeltons. The good thing was Kyall and Sarah had found it in their hearts to allow Fiona and her adoptive parents time to make this huge adjustment, making the promise that Fiona would always be free to visit the couple who had reared her.

Christine was looking forward immensely to
meeting her niece, and had high hopes that Fiona and Suzanne, who had never really had a home, would “click”. If Fiona were anything like Sarah, her mother, with Sarah's kindness and sensitivity, she would be a great support for the troubled Suzanne.

On the third morning Christine enjoyed her usual early-morning ride, coming home to surprise her parents having a rip-roaring argument. Their voices floated out of the study, carrying along the passageway into the entrance hall. Christine was astounded. She had rarely heard her parents argue. In fact she could count the number of times on one hand. Her father was a highly civilised man, perhaps too civilised for his own good. He had always allowed her mother to have her way. His only interventions over the years had been to stand by his daughter against her grandmother Ruth and Enid.

She had no wish to embarrass them, so she started to tiptoe across the marbled expanse to the staircase, almost reaching it before her mother, tears pouring down her face, obviously unable to control herself, dashed into sight.

Christine was horrified. “Mum, what's the matter?” Her mother rarely cried.

“Out of my way, Christine.” Enid was shaking with anger, almost berserk.

“Can't I help?” This struck her as pathetic. Her formidable mother in fits of weeping?

Enid, a bundle of nerves, rounded on her, looking as if she wanted to kick and scream. “Your father wants to leave me,” she cried at the top of her lungs.

“Oh, my God!” Why hadn't she guessed it was coming? Kyall had warned her.

“Is that all you can say?” Enid cried wildly. “‘Oh, my God'? We can't put pressure on Him.” Her handsome face was working, as were her twisting hands. “You always were on your father's side.”

“Oh, Mum, that's not fair. I'm so, so sorry.” Why couldn't there be understanding between them?

“You're sorry?” Enid's brilliant dark eyes flashed, making her look momentarily like her own mother, Ruth. “How do you think I feel? I've done everything—looked after him—for thirty-three years. And he's betrayed me with some wicked bitch in town. The shame of it! Thank God your grandmother is not here to see it.”

The hypocrisy was too much for Christine. “Leave Gran out of it,” she said crisply. “I've heard all about her exploits. Words don't express the damage Gran did. She treated Dad badly. She used to talk about ‘looking after' him, too. It was a myth. Dad has worked long and hard for Wunnamurra. And you.”

“So! We know where
you
stand,” Enid ex
claimed bitterly. “Always sticking up for your father. I see it as treachery on your part.” Enid suddenly collapsed onto a step, letting her head fall into her hands.

“I'm very concerned about you too, Mum.” Cautiously Christine approached her. “I don't want to see you hurt and humiliated.”

Enid shot up her head, gesturing for Christine to be quiet. “To think your father has been having a sexual relationship with another woman! I can't get over it.” She gave a thin, slightly hysterical laugh.

“Why not, Mum?” Christine sat down quietly on the step beside her mother. “It's really astonishing the way you believe that because you can function well enough without a sex-life so can Dad. He's a fit, healthy, handsome man.”

“He's
my husband
,” Enid shouted, as though everything else was of no consequence.

“That doesn't make him your slave.”

“Don't talk to me like that, young lady,” Enid said in a voice so sharp it would have made anyone jump. “I don't like it. I demand respect. I imagine you've seen pretty well everything these last years, away from your good home, but we do things differently here. Marriage vows are sacred. There has never been a divorce in our family.”

“Are you worried about the scandal, or losing Dad?” Christine countered, amazed she and her mother hadn't come to blows.

“I won't lose him.” Enid set her jaw. “I refuse to let him go.”

“I'm so sorry, Mum, but you can't force Dad to stay.”

“You're dead wrong about that.”

“How?”

“By making it impossible for him to live. Certainly not on McQueen territory, or in the style he's become accustomed to.”

“I doubt he wants any of it,” Christine said, thinking her father would have all the financial support he wanted from her. “Who is this woman he wants to leave you for?”

A raised vein in Enid's temple throbbed. “He won't tell me, but I'll find out. She has to be crazy if she thinks she can walk over me. I'll kill her.”

“That's not only stupid, Mum, it's ugly. You've all but handed Dad over to her on a platter. You've sidelined him without a thought. Surely having separate bedrooms is a rebuff?”

Enid responded fiercely. “That's absolutely none of your business.”

“Maybe not, but it seems to me you might start thinking about how you lost him. Or how much you're going to fight to get him back. It'll be a fair fight, I hope.”

Enid put her hands over her ears while Christine was talking, removing them when she stopped. “What would you know about marital problems?” she jeered. “Aren't you the one who
lost Mitchell Claydon? I've been a great wife and a great mother. I am shockingly, horribly disappointed in you and your father, Christine. It seems after all I've done for you both neither of you cares about me. Why don't you go to your father now?” she urged angrily. “He's in the study. And with our thirty-fourth anniversary coming up. The timing! Talk about treachery! He says she's a lovely person. Can you beat that? Did you know your father was sleeping around?”

Christine stood up, wondering if her relationship with her mother was going to be as bad in adult life as it had been in her childhood and adolescence. “Why don't you talk to Kyall about it?” she suggested quietly. “He's your favourite, remember? I'm only Christine. I will go and talk to Dad. Despite my best intentions my conversations with you always turn into a disaster. Still, I'm sorry, Mum. Your happiness is important to me.”

“Oh, go away!” Enid cried vehemently. “You've never loved me, Christine. We're totally different kinds of people. But my son won't tolerate my suffering.”

Christine found her father sitting behind his desk, as quiet as her mother was frantic.

“Gosh, Dad, what have you done?” She shut the door behind her and took a seat on the leather Chesterfield.

“I hated doing it, Chris. But I've tried as hard
as I can to stay with my marriage. It was doomed from the moment we moved into the homestead with Ruth.”

“Why didn't you move out?”

“And take Enid away from the place she adored? Then when Kyall came it was impossible. Ruth idolized the boy. She set him up as her heir. Kyall McQueen. Your mother and I were never a loving couple. In our early days I was very fond of her. We had an understanding. I suppose I thought or hoped it would work out. But both of us had made terrible choices and we had to be responsible for them. I could never have lost you children. And Ruth would have seen to it that I did.”

“She'd have let me go like a shot.” Christine laughed shortly.

“I don't think so. She needed you to torment. Your mother is just a born nagger.”

“She's devastated,” Christine said. “Slashed wide open.”

Max's whole body winced. “I'm truly sorry, but I have a right to some happiness in life. You and Kyall don't need me now. And your mother has never needed me.”

“I don't think that's right at all, Dad. She just doesn't know how to show it.”

“Don't you think that amounts to the same thing? It's all too late now. Ruth's death ended the whole sorry charade. I need to be my own
man, not your mother's lackey. Anyway, for the first time in my life I'm deeply, truly in love.”

And didn't she understand how glorious that was! “May I ask who she is?” Christine spoke gently.

“You don't know her. She came to the town after you left. She's very beautiful and very talented. A lot younger than I am, but nevertheless she loves me. Her name is Carol Lu. She's an artist. She paints landscapes and she gives classes. I thought she was unattainable—that the whole thing, the attraction, was in my mind—then all of a sudden I knew. She cares as much for me as I care for her. She gives me strength. The strength to make this clean break.”

“But, Dad, it's like an amputation,” Christine protested. “I know Mum isn't good at it, but she does love you. I don't think it has ever occurred to her you'd leave her.”

“I am leaving her, Chris,” her father said, “and I don't feel guilty. It's a tremendous experience for me, breaking up my marriage, but I'm sick to death of living a lie. For a long time now my marriage has been pointless and joyless. I don't want to die without experiencing some happiness. Carol can give it to me and I to her. We communicate in a way your mother and I never have. It's a wonderful, extraordinary intimacy. And I can't give it up. I can't take living here any more either.”

Christine felt such a rush of gloom she actually slumped. “You can't mean you're leaving before Kyall's wedding, Dad? The timing couldn't be worse.”

“Do you think I haven't thought of that?” Max bowed his head. “I never meant to speak out today, but something your mother said—something about my failing her—brought it all to a head. She simply doesn't know how to give relief or comfort. She never got any as a child and it scarred her for life.”

“What's Kyall going to say?”

“Kyall won't be surprised,” Max answered quietly, but with inner confidence. “Kyall won't begrudge me happiness either. I know this has come as a terrible wrenching shock to your mother, and to you, but this is my last chance at happiness and I'm going to seize it. The marriage is over.”

 

In one way it would be a tremendous relief to get away to Sydney, Christine thought. As hard as she tried she couldn't meet her mother's needs, or help her deal with this deeply painful crisis in her life.

In her mother's eyes, and with her mother's talent for self-dramatization, Christine had become the enemy, not an ally. Christine had always loved her father the best. The two of them had always taken one another's side. Enid couldn't
and wouldn't face the painful truth that she, with massive support from Ruth, had created her own problems—alienating her husband to the extent he was desperate to strike out in another direction with another woman who made him feel totally loved.

As her father had predicted, Kyall hadn't been shocked by the news. To him it had seemed inevitable, given the awesome power his grandmother had wielded over both his parents—keeping his mother tied close to the apron strings and at the same time treating his father as an outsider. Like Christine, he hated to see their mother in desperate pain, but neither could fail to feel sympathy for their father's plight.

It was a grievous situation, generating a lot of anger on Enid's part, and it had thrown the wedding plans into a quandary. Finally, after a series of family meetings, Max and Enid had agreed to maintain a united front—at least until after the wedding was over.

“I couldn't survive the shame,” Enid had told them with burning black eyes.

Perhaps she secretly believed the marriage could be rebuilt. Neither Kyall nor Christine held out any such hopes.

 

Plans for the polo-picnic day were fast-tracked by Sarah, with Christine's valuable help, to fit in with Christine's schedule. The hospital always ran
on a tight budget, despite the McQueens' legendary generosity. It was Christine's late grandmother who had caused the Bush Hospital to be built in the first place; in all honesty, it was one of the few truly good things the despotic Ruth had ever done.

With Sarah so busy at the hospital, and her mother so shaken by events, it fell to Christine to do much of the organizing—which suited her just fine. It kept her occupied and she found she had a natural flair for the job. Also, she loved the game of polo—polo being the focus of sporting activities in the Outback. There were other sports too, but exciting, potentially dangerous polo brought in the crowds and got the juices flowing. More to the point, as Sarah pointed out, it brought in donations for the hospital. The bigger the win of a favourite team, the bigger the donation.

Kyall's team, which included Mitch, was hot favourite to win. Both men were wonderful athletes. Kyall was now lost to his legions of female fans, as he was shortly to marry Sarah, but Mitch was still available. Most of them knew all about his long relationship with Christine Reardon, but the hot gossip was—and Christine couldn't seem to correct it—that she was involved with Ben Savage, who was due in Australia to promote his TV show. That left the gorgeous Mitch still out there, as far as all the local girls were concerned.

It turned out to be a wonderful day—a great
success as a fundraiser, with everyone saying they must do it again.