Anabel Unraveled (40 page)

“There’s nothing between us because I would never let there be,” he stated.

“But you love her.”

“I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he told me.

“That doesn’t mean you don’t love her.” I met his eyes. “Jared, that—whatever that was—makes what you and I had look like nothing.”

“You can’t be mad at me over this. You’re in love with Matt.”

“Well there’s a point.” I swallowed again. “I can’t do this.”

“What can’t you do?”

But I couldn’t explain it to him. It all hit me at once: Jonathan was dead. I was pregnant, and my baby’s father had some sort of twisted thing going on with my brother’s wife. The one who wanted to kill me. Plus, Charlie had killed Jonathan. Charlie, who had claimed to love me as his own child, had murdered him in cold blood, and would’ve gotten me too if—

—and then I remembered everything.

After my dramatic exit from Jonathan’s office, I stalked into my bedroom. I haven’t done anything wrong, I thought. This wasn’t my fault. It was Jared’s fault. I don’t deserve this, I told myself. Coming to my father, and begging him to help me, only to have him accuse me of seducing Jared—well. I was angry. More than angry, I was livid. I was sick and tired of everyone on the island. None of them cared about me. None of them loved me, not even my father.

This is no longer my home, I thought. Homes are supposed to be safe and welcoming, and there was nothing left for me here. Jonathan’s rejection of me, his accusations—I realized then and there that I would never trust my father again to be there for me.

I had rarely come to Jonathan for comfort or for advice; growing up, I had always had Marilyn and my father’s interest in me waxed and waned. As a child this was bewildering: one moment Daddy wanted nothing more than to spend an afternoon doing puzzles with me, and then the next day if I fell in the courtyard and scraped my knee he wouldn’t come over to pick me up and kiss me and tell me that it was okay. He could never console me, I thought grimly, pacing harder. Jonathan didn’t like to be around his crying daughter, he left those situations for someone else to clean up.

I had thought that Jared had broken my heart the night before, but I was wrong. He couldn’t have broken it because my father had done that a long time ago. The truth was I had tried to pull it back together for Jared. I had wanted Jared to be the one that reunited the fractured pieces of my heart, but instead he had shredded them even further.

I couldn’t change the situation with Jared. But my father was my father, and I deserved better from him.

Well, so be it. I was going to give Jonathan a piece of my mind.

I had come back down the hallway toward my father’s office, my thoughts turbulent. I kept asking myself the same questions over and over. How could he not defend me? For once in my life, I was going to stand up to him. He had treated me like a child for far too long, and I wanted to hurt him with my words as much as he had hurt me. Approaching the office, I hesitated a little, but then I steeled myself and approached the door. My hand was resting on the doorknob when I heard six gunshots, in rapid succession.

I gasped, and the door cracked open, and there was my father, face down on the ground, with a masked Charlie standing over him, clutching the still-smoking gun. I was frozen to the spot. “What have you done?” I whispered.

He quietly said, “I’m sorry Annie—I didn’t want it to be this way.” I gasped in horror, and as he slowly raised the revolver, but no shots came as my body launched into fight-or-flight mode. I ran down the hallway, toward my bedroom, but then hesitated at the door. Something told me not to go there, and instead I continued down the hallway for a long, long time, and then I raced up the coil of stairs that led to the attic and I hid, paralyzed by my fear, and I fell into practically a catatonic state until Jared came upon me.

“Anabel, say something,” he pleaded, bringing me back to reality. But I couldn’t do it. I was spiraling out of control, because as I looked at him, Charlie was still pointing a gun at me, and my father was dead. I had been raped. My baby’s father loved somebody else, and I loved someone who would quite possibly leave me the moment she was born.

So I fell into myself.

Chapter 44—Jared

Kevin shut her bedroom door, where we were all anxiously waiting. “Let’s go downstairs,” he suggested.

As we sat around Anabel’s living room, Kevin cleared his throat and said, “Physically, she’s fine. But she’s refusing to speak.”

“What do you mean?” asked Matt.

He pulled out a sheet of paper that was covered in Anabel’s neat handwriting. “I asked her why she wouldn’t talk to me and this is what she wrote: ‘I don’t want to fall apart.’” He sighed. “I think Anabel’s memories and what happened at the hospital are too much for her at the moment.” He handed the paper to Meghan, and she and I pored over it. “You can see what she says.”

I don’t want to fall apart.

I don’t want to see anybody.

That’s not true, I have been eating. Charlotte can attest that I clean my trays.

I gave a written statement. I don’t have to testify.

That’s good news.

“What’s good news?” Meghan asked.

“Oh, I cleared her for vaginal delivery,” he announced. We all looked surprised, and he went on to say, “The heparin worked, she’s not having pain anymore and she wants to do it naturally, which explains this comment.” He pointed to the line that read, I guess I’ll have to find someone to go to childbirth class with me.

“I’ll go with her,” I muttered.

Kevin pointed to the line that read, I don’t want to see him.

“She didn’t write a reason,” I scanned the page.

“Does she need one?” Meghan asked. Matt looked like he agreed.

“Did you say anything to her?” Kevin asked. “Something that might have pushed her over the edge?” Charlotte, Meghan, and Matt were all looking at me, and I hesitated at Carrie’s presence.

“Go upstairs, Carrie,” said Phil.

She sighed and exited the room, so I said, “I told her about what happened with Alexis and me.”

“You told her about Vermont?” gasped Meghan. “Why?”

“What happened in Vermont?” Charlotte asked.

“Alexis attempted to sleep with him,” explained Meghan.

Matt looked at me sharply. “But didn’t succeed?”

“I never slept with her,” I replied. “Look, Sam was my best friend, okay? I would never have done that to him.”

“Messing around with his sister fell under your code of ethics, however,” he snapped.

“Oh for crying out loud, Matt, shut up,” Meghan said, irritated. “You’re not going to get her out of that room by provoking a fight with Jared.” She folded her hands underneath her chin. “Let’s focus on what we know. What exactly is running through Anabel’s head right now?”

“She thinks I’m in love with Alexis.” I sighed. “I don’t blame her, Sam thought it too.” Things had changed with us after Vermont, even though he had said he believed me that I didn’t want anything to do with his wife. Our business relationship had been fine, but our personal one had become tense, and had only gotten worse after Natasha‘s death. I had viewed my assignment to see Anabel as a way to repair that, but I had screwed that up, too.

“Are you in love with Alexis?” Matt asked.

“No, he’s not, but the two of them should never be allowed near each other,” Meghan scoffed.

“Thanks for answering for me,” I retorted. “Do I even need to be present for this conversation?”

“Alexis has always had a thing for my brother,” she continued, ignoring me. “And Jared—whether he wants to admit it or not—plays into it. It was even before their little fiasco in Vermont. One time I watched them at a press conference and I seriously thought they were going to rip each other’s clothes off right then and there.”

“And this bothered Anabel?” Matt asked quietly.

“I don’t think it was just that,” I assessed. “I think it shook her pretty bad that Alexis was about to kill her, and then I came in and started kissing her—”

“—so it broke Annie’s trust,” commented Meghan thoughtfully.

“And then the poor girl remembered watching her father die,” put in Charlotte.

“So it’s all too much for her,” finished Kevin. He turned to Matt. “Plus, there’s this.” He pointed to a line that read, Why? He’ll probably leave. I’m not good enough for him.

“Is that really what she thinks?” He shook his head.

“She’s always thought that,” I replied. “She told me as much.”

“Did she?” he asked, and I heard the anger in his voice.

“It was a passing comment, Matt. In the same breath she informed me that I had no chance with her while you were around.” I looked at Kevin. “So what should we do?”

“Give her some space,” he suggested. “Let her sort this out. She’d never do anything to cause the baby harm, and what she’s been through is a lot for any person to stomach.” He turned to Matt. “You can try with her, she might respond to you.”

He hesitated. “I don’t know. She wouldn’t even answer the door earlier.”

“Get creative,” Charlotte urged.

“Maybe she just needs some space,” suggested Phil. “Like Kevin said. She has been through a lot.”

But it was killing Matt; I saw it on his face. At that moment, I had to admit to myself that this definitely was not an act— he really did love her. I watched as he stared at me, at Meghan, at Phil, and then he just nodded and slowly walked up the stairs, and we heard his door close.

Charlotte and Phil exchanged a glance, and then Charlotte said, “I made some spaghetti.”

“That sounds excellent,” announced Meghan. She grabbed my arm. “Come on, let’s go spoon up some spaghetti for everybody.”

“I’m not hungry, Meg.”

“Do I look like I care?” she snapped. Then she pulled herself together. “Come on, Jared. You need to eat.”

I followed her into the kitchen, and she got to the point. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Stop trying to ruin everything for Matt and Anabel,” she ordered. “They love each other. Deal with it.”

“I just told him she said there’s no us with him around.”

“Yeah, and that’s quite charitable of you, but you also need to remember he’s wondering right now about what’s going on in her head after watching your little display with Alexis.” Meghan sighed. “Matt’s wondering if Anabel’s having second thoughts, and the fact that she won’t talk to him isn’t helping things.”

“I shoved her over the edge,” I lamented.

“It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Thank God they caught Charlie,” I commented. Once news of Alexis’ arrest had been leaked to the press, he had tried to make a run for it, but they caught him trying to catch a flight out of Dulles. A K9 unit had brought him down, and it had been all over the news. In confidence, Charlotte had told me that Marilyn was devastated and had called, begging to talk to Anabel, but Anabel had shoved a note under her door that read, Forget it.

“I can’t believe he and Alexis were working together,” remarked Meghan.

“I know,” I replied. Once certain that I really had betrayed her, a broken Alexis had confessed the whole thing: Charlie had contacted her a few weeks after Anabel’s arrival to the States and explained how he had murdered Jonathan—and why he thought Alexis was the person to assist him in finishing off his daughter. Alexis agreed the best way to salvage Sam’s political career and keep Anabel and I apart was to get rid of her, but the chance hadn’t presented itself until I had left her alone at the hospital.

And if I hadn’t gotten back when I did, Anabel and Emma would both be dead. And it would have been my fault. Once Sam had gotten over the fact that Alexis had made an attempt on his sister’s life, he felt the need to remind me of this fact over and over again. At least Matt had the decency to not say that right to my face.

“Did she say why he killed Jonathan in the first place?” Meghan asked.

“He thought it was the only way off the island,” I told her. “He thought that if everything came out, about Caereon’s existence, he could get off and be with Marilyn. But then Anabel saw what happened, and so he’d been biding his time with her. When he found out that she had been having nightmares—and I, of course, was the one who told him that,” I continued, shaking my head in disgust, “he realized there wasn’t much time left before she remembered.”

“And Alexis offered to do it,” she whispered.

“I had no idea she felt that much for me,” I replied.

“I did, but I didn’t factor in the dose of crazy that accompanied it,” Meghan shook her head. “What a mess, Jared. Well, look at it this way. At some point Princess will run out of paper.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s over now,” I stated. “Whatever chance I did have. She’s been holed up in her room for three days. She won’t talk to me.”

“Or Matt,” Meghan pointed out. “What do you think that means?”

“I don’t know for him, but I know what it means for me,” I said.

Strike three.

Chapter 45—Anabel

I couldn’t talk, and nobody understood why.

I know that they didn’t understand because they kept knocking at my door.

“Anabel, it’s Charlotte, dear. I’m leaving your tray and some water outside. Make sure you take your vitamin.”

And then: “Hi Annie! It’s Meghan. Just wondered if you wanted to go for a walk.”

A very pained voice said, “It’s Jared.” And then nothing.

A few times Matt knocked, and for those I actually went to the door. But even for him, I couldn’t find the words.

Everything hurt too much.

So every day I took a shower and washed my hair. I would comb it and dry it, and then I would check Emma’s kicks to make sure she was moving around properly. I would eat my breakfast and do some prenatal yoga.

Then I lay in my bed, lost in thought, getting up every hour to stretch my legs and do my exercises. Occasionally someone would knock and ask something that required a response, so I would write them a note and shove it under the door.

Twice Kevin had showed up and I permitted him to come into the room and check me out, listen to Emma’s heartbeat, and ask me questions, the answers to which I wrote down for him. Most of the time I would write down the answers to questions I knew he was going to ask me in advance, and I would hand the paper to him and his visits were short.