And a Puzzle to Die On (31 page)

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“What do you mean?”

“Believe it or not, there
is
no such constructor as Hillary Mustache.”

“Sherry, I’m in no mood for this.”

“Yes, you are. It’s fun.”

“Why is it fun?”

“Hillary Mustache is an anagram for Cathy Millhauser. And do you know who that is?”

“Was she the Bond girl in
Thunderball
?”

“No.”

“Then I guess I don’t.”

“Cathy Millhauser is famous for her word games.
Punning and gimmickry. She’s a gas. I have her book,
Humorous Crosswords
.”

“I’m happy for you. So what?”

“There are word games in this puzzle even you would like.”

“Pardon me for not falling on the floor, but I’ve had a rather busy day, what with getting arrested and all.”

“Look the puzzle over in your spare time. See if you notice anything about the long answers.”

“I notice they’re not filled in.”

“I brought a pencil.”

“Dream on!”

“Cora, you got all night. Why not give it a shot?”

“You want me to give
you
a shot? All I need is some goddamned puzzle.”

“Okay, be that way.” Sherry dug in her purse. “Here’s the solution. Check it out if you get a chance.” Sherry handed Cora a book. “I also brought you some light reading.”

“What’s this?
Lifer
?” Cora snorted. “That’s a hell of a thing to give someone in jail. Wait a minute! A. E. Greenhouse! Is this the book you Googled?”

“Right. That’s the book Darryl Daigue was in.
Lifer
, by A. E. Greenhouse. I bought it on the Advanced Book Exchange.”

Cora grinned. “Well, that’s more like it!”

Cora’s enthusiasm for
Lifer
was short-lived. Despite its exciting premise, the book was dull as dishwater. A. E. Greenhouse was a dry writer, and no new facts were revealed. In just a few pages, Cora’s eyes began to glaze over.

Greenhouse had interviewed Darryl Daigue in prison. Daigue had spun his usual web of lies. Except, in this version, Ricky Gleason had nothing to do with the murder. In fact, Gleason wasn’t even mentioned. Instead, Darryl Daigue blamed the murder on one of Anita Dryer’s classmates.

Though A. E. Greenhouse didn’t actually say so, it was clear that the author didn’t place much credence in Darryl Daigue’s assertions.

Supporting material was skimpy at best. Stacy Daigue expressed the opinion that her brother was pure as the driven snow, but there was nothing anyone could do about it. Darryl Daigue had no other friends or relatives, at least none uncovered by A. E. Greenhouse.

Interviews with the family of the deceased were equally unrevealing. Anita Dryer’s mother and father were dead. Her younger sister could not be found. The only available relative, her brother, Jason, was a notorious thief and drug addict, who had actually served time at the Brandon State Penitentiary.

That woke Cora up.

Before she could get too excited, A. E. Greenhouse spoiled her fun with the news that brother Jason had died of a drug overdose just a few weeks after the interview.

Which was too bad. Because Jason had stated in no uncertain terms that he would gladly have killed Darryl Daigue with his bare hands if he’d run into him in prison. The only reason he hadn’t was that the son of a bitch was in solitary, and Jason had been paroled before he got the chance.

Cora skimmed through the rest of the book, but found nothing useful. A. E. Greenhouse acknowledged Warden Prufrock, among others, for granting him access to interview the prisoners, but that was about it. There were no other references to Darryl Daigue.

Cora sat on the edge of her cot to figure things out. All she could think of was how tired she was. The facts of the case circled through her head, making absolutely no sense.

Cora absently picked up the puzzle. “
Misnomers
, by Hillary Mustache.” And Hillary Mustache was actually somebody else. Big deal.

Cora picked up the pencil and read the clues. Her eyes began to glaze over. It occurred to her she’d have to get a life sentence to finish the damn thing.

Cora put down the puzzle and picked up the solution.
There. That was better. Now, what was it Sherry wanted her to see?

Cora studied the long answers: 17 Across,
Kids’ Christmas special
, was ELF CARTOON. That didn’t do much for her. Then 21 Across,
Tatting-eschewing
, was NOT FOR LACE. So
tatting
must be lace, and
eschewing
must be not having any. And this had made Sherry’s day. Cora’s mind boggled.

Sing a note, Sinatra-style
, 51 Across, was CROON E FLAT. The less said the better. And 60 Across,
Witch on a broomstick
, was CRONE ALOFT.

Cora stopped. Wait a minute.

CRONE ALOFT was awfully close to CROON E FLAT.

Cora looked back at ELF CARTOON and NOT FOR LACE.

Son of a bitch! Each answer had the same letters. They were all anagrams of each other. And the word
anagrams
was in the puzzle.

But why was the puzzle called “MISNOMERS”? Didn’t that mean wrong name? So why was ELF CARTOON …?

Oh!

Cora felt like an idiot. The long answers were anagrams, all right. They were all anagrams of her name.

Cora might have been amused, if she weren’t in jail.

Okay. Now that Cora had honed her wits on the puzzle, she could tackle these little murder cases.

All right. A detective and a housewife were murdered. Each one had in their possession a pornographic videotape being used to blackmail a warden into letting a prisoner out of jail. That certainly pointed to the convict’s sister. Or the convict’s girlfriend, assuming she was still in the picture.

MISNOMERS
by Hillary Mustache

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