And All Our Wounds Forgiven (26 page)

“You and Cal were lovers,” he said simply.

She nodded.

He laughed softly. “I never knew until a few minutes ago when I saw how you lay atop his grave.”

“The only one who knew for sure was Andrea.”

He chuckled. “Now I understand why she didn’t want to talk to you about her book.”

“Well, if she had lived, it would be a different book now.”

“How so?”

“I talked to her. I told her about me and Cal. I tried to get her to understand.”

“I talked to her, too, after you gave me the idea. I told her things I had never said aloud to anyone. I don’t think I could’ve done it if I had really believed she was listening.”

“She knew that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure. All I know is that right before she died, she opened her eyes and looked at me and her gaze was clear and alert and so alive. She didn’t look like someone who had been in a coma for ten days.”

“She heard everything we told her?” he asked, not sure if he liked that.

Lisa nodded. “I think she heard a lot more than we knew. And I’m glad. I’m glad she didn’t die without hearing what I came to tell her.”

“May I ask what that was?”

She thought for a moment. “Cal’s last words were, Tell Andrea that I always loved her.’ “

There was a long silence before she continued. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell her. But I can’t tell you how much it hurt me that his last words were giving me instructions to convey his love to his wife.”

“Maybe he loved you so much he could entrust you with even that.”

She nodded. “I think I understand that, finally. When I told her, her eyes opened and I was so startled and frightened I couldn’t move or look away and we just stared at each other. I think she was trying to thank me. A tear formed in one eye, spilled over and trickled down her face. I took her hand and held it tightly. Her eyes closed and she was dead.

“I sat with her for a few minutes, wondering if she had kept herself alive until she heard what she needed to hear. And then I noticed that I was feeling happy.”

“Me, too! Ever since she died I’ve been feeling like I didn’t get the chance to feel when I was sixteen.”

“Yes, yes. I think for me the feeling came when I told her Cal’s words. That was Cal’s final gift to me. I wonder if he had told me to do it not only because she needed to hear it but because I needed to say it. I would be free only when all of his truth meant as much to me as my own truth. Part of his truth was that he loved her.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been writing a long letter to my husband, but I don’t know if he’ll ever get to read it. I need to say something to him but I think what I wrote was what I needed to say to me. I’ll probably go home and catch the last snows of the winter and then, I’ll see.”

“I’ve got to go,” Robert said, standing up. “There’re still a thousand details to tend to for the funeral.”

She got up. “Let me give you a hug. You take care of yourself, and Kathy and Adisa. Marry her, Robert.”

They held each other tightly for a long moment, then separated.

“I’m glad you were here,” he told her. “Then and now.”

“Thank you.” She gave him another hug and he turned and walked away.

When he got to his car he looked back.

Elizabeth lay atop the grave like an answered prayer.