And Baby Makes Five (18 page)

“It hasn’t a thing to do with Ramona. That’s over. It’s about you. You and Joshua. You need more than I can give you. You
deserve
more.”

Lilly straightened. “I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. And I know you don’t give me enough.”

“It’s not about giving myself credit. It’s about you having the family that I know God has in store for you.”

Lilly’s eyes flashed. “How do you know what God has in store for me? Who are you to say it isn’t with you?” She stopped, and the silence stretched between.

Cort didn’t want to hurt her, but he knew this was for the best. Now he wasn’t certain if agreeing to be Joshua’s guardian had been the right choice. When she remarried, there would be a man in Josh’s life. They wouldn’t need him anymore.

“God has a husband out there for you and a father for Joshua. But it isn’t me, Lilly. I have nothing to offer you. So the best thing would be for us to forget this ever happened.”

The fire that flashed through Lilly’s eyes took him by surprise. And his mouth dropped when she stepped away from him, plopped her hand on her narrow hip, cupped Joshua with the other hand and glared sassily up at him. “Well, cowboy, you can forget it if you want to, but
I
don’t want to.”

And with that she turned and flounced away, curls bouncing. With Loser trailing behind her.

T
he town was in an uproar. The ladies had gotten together and planned Lacy’s wedding down to the last pink imported Shasta daisy.

Bless her soon-to-be-husband’s big heart, Clint had given in to them plain and simply because he loved Lacy. Loved her with a love that Lilly could only wish to find. A love that she, in her own misguided way, had thought she’d found. But she’d been wrong.

Cort hadn’t come after her.

Today Adela was watching Joshua while Lilly had a day out with Lacy. Lilly wanted her son to know the love of Adela, Norma Sue and Esther Mae. She wanted to encourage their bonding. Because of this she had agreed to the plan to get her out of the house and help with the final stages of Lacy’s wedding.

Standing in the back of the church watching Lacy and Ashby Templeton discuss flowers, Lilly bowed her head and prayed that God would sustain her, that He would give her the strength she needed to do what He wanted her to do. It was a hard prayer to pray. Given the nature of her outspoken personality, she wanted to demand that Cort acknowledge that he loved her.

She needed Cort. Him and Joshua. And God. What a blessing that circle of love could be. But she didn’t allow herself to demand such a thing because she didn’t know if it was true.

Why would she even think that? Cort had never told her anything remotely close to admitting he loved her. Yes, he’d shown her care and friendship and kindness. But love? No. He’d flat-out told her that he wasn’t the man for her. They’d hardly had anything remotely close to a romantic relationship. Sure, they’d shared one kiss. One tender big kiss. And then he’d run for the hills! Really, Lilly didn’t understand why in the world she’d expected him to feel more. Who was she kidding?

Watching Lacy as she talked, Lilly smiled, despite the misery she felt inside. The crazy girl wouldn’t stop babbling. It was as if she knew something was wrong, but she hadn’t asked. She’d simply drawn Lilly into the final plans for her wedding with a great smile and a host of enthusiasm. Of course, this was Lacy, and she’d efficiently involved everyone. A Valentine’s Day wedding in Mule Hollow was appropriate.

Molly had been writing articles about Mule Hollow every so often in her column for the paper in Houston and there were a few other big papers that were picking up the stories. Why, even a New York paper had picked up on them. They were a big hit with Molly’s readership. The very first wedding for the town that had conducted a national “wives needed” ad campaign was big news…at least to the growing army of faithful readers. The fact that the campaign had actually produced a marriage within the first six months was huge. It made women realize that this wasn’t just a publicity stunt. It made them actually see that they could have a future in Mule Hollow.

“Lilly,” Lacy said, plopping down in the pew beside her. Ashby settled into the one in front of them. “What do you think about pink baby roses and pink—”

“Sounds like a scene from
Steel Magnolias,
” Lilly said, cringing.

“I loved that movie,” Lacy gushed. “Julia Roberts walking down the aisle with an ocean of pink around her—it was great. Why, the first time I saw that movie, I knew if I ever got married I wanted that same sea of flowers around me.” She was nodding her head and looking about the church. “Yep, yep, yep…I can just see it.”

Ashby’s gaze met Lilly’s and they both burst out laughing. If there was one thing Lacy Brown loved it was pink. She studied them both as they subsided into a fit of giggles.

“I’m telling you, it’ll be beautiful. Remember, it’s Valentine’s Day. Pink or red is the only way to go. And as you know, I’m a pink kinda girl.”

Lilly straightened her face, keeping her eyes off Ashby lest they start chuckling again. “Lacy, it’s your wedding, and if you want the walls pink, it would be fine with me. It’s going to be beautiful no matter what. And you’re right—pink on Valentine’s will be perfect. But please tell me you aren’t having Clint wear pink, are you?”

Lacy smiled. “He loves me, but that would be pushing things a bit. Gray and black mix quite nicely with pink. I’m not wearing pink, so I couldn’t ask him to.”

“You didn’t really think about asking him such a thing, did you?” Ashby asked, not certain when to take Lacy seriously and when not to.

“No. I didn’t even think about it. Clint’s a cowboy. Besides, he already wore pink once because of me. And he didn’t like it one bit.”

Lilly smiled, remembering the story of Clint getting an entire bucket of hot pink paint dumped on his head the day Lacy was painting her salon. The story was one she didn’t think he would ever live down. But he’d handled it good-naturedly. He’d said it didn’t matter what happened to him as long as he got Lacy in the end.

Lilly’s heart twisted, thinking about Cort. She felt the same way about him. Anything was worth it, if she could have his love at the end of the day.

If only she could figure a way.

Leave it in God’s hands, Lilly.

Sometimes it was easier to think something than to actually do it. She had to remind herself that God had big hands.

And that those big hands would take care of her no matter what.

After they’d finished at the church Ashby left them to take care of ordering the flowers. She had a contact in Hollywood—her former home—who was shipping the flowers out to Mule Hollow by Friday morning. Actually she was shipping herself out with them. And if Ashby had her way she was going to stay and run her Internet flower business from Mule Hollow. It was going to be one more opportunity for the little town. E-commerce was making possible several things that ten years ago wouldn’t have been imaginable. Ashby’s mail-order dress business was running as smoothly from Mule Hollow as it had from Hollywood. The dresses she’d helped everyone order for the wedding were gorgeous.

Lilly and Lacy then hopped into Lacy’s 1958 pink Cadillac convertible, with the top up and the heater on, and headed for the community center, where the reception was going to be held. With the wedding only a week away, the decorating was already in progress. Today they were going to help put up white and pink netting along with fairy lights.

The scenery was whizzing past the Caddy’s windows as Lilly relaxed in the deep seat.

“I just love to drive,” Lacy said, sitting up straight, watching the road as she maneuvered the huge car down the blacktop. “I especially like to ride with the top down. Do you mind if I put it down?”

Lilly shot an unbelieving glance at Lacy. “It’s forty-five degrees outside.”

“Have you ever ridden in a convertible with the top down on a forty-degree day?” She glanced at Lilly with an excited grin and a raised eyebrow.

“Well, no. But it’s cold.”

“Girl, you need to live a little. Before we go to the community center, we are going for a ride. Because you need to tell me what ails you.”

Lacy slammed on the brakes and the Caddy skidded to a halt. Before Lilly could overcome the shock of the sudden stop she watched in horror as Lacy pressed a button and the Caddy’s top kicked into gear. The cold of the day whipped into the car just as Lacy stomped on the accelerator. Flattened to the seat from the speed, Lilly felt her curls rise and start dancing above her head as if they were alive. The brisk cold stung her cheeks and the chilly air sucked a laugh right out of her. Lacy was laughing, too.

Lacy turned up the heat, and suddenly Lilly had the best of both worlds. She was warm, her feet were toasty and her hands, too, but the cold air on her face, blowing through her hair, sent a thrill of joy pulsing through her.

“I told you it was great,” Lacy yelled over the wind as she whipped the car onto another farm road heading away from town.

“I love it. I could get used to this. Is this car for sale?” Lilly called out, knowing full well that Lacy would never part with her beloved car.

“Nope, nope, never. But I know where you could get one just like it.”

Lilly considered it. She did need a new car, but she needed a family car. One she could feel safe in on the road with Joshua. “I guess I’d better pass. But I’m going to be asking for a ride in this one more often. Now that you have me hooked.”

“That I can do.” Lacy slowed the Caddy and pulled the car over next to a deserted one-picnic-table rest area. “Okay, so now that I have you loosened up, tell me how things are going. God has really put you on my mind lately.”

Lilly could hear the sincerity in Lacy’s voice and she could see it in her eyes. In the short time she’d known Lacy her enthusiasm and love for God had inspired Lilly. She was bold for Christ and humble in her accomplishments for Him. Lilly knew she wanted to be like Lacy…in her own way. No one could be like Lacy—she was truly one of a kind. But Lilly could learn from her and she could trust her.

Sitting there in the cold air, Lilly felt comfortable enough to let Lacy inside her heart. “I married Jeff because I was lonely and to disprove the legacy my grannies tried to pass down to me. I made a bad choice.” Lilly studied the landscape, the barren pastures waiting for spring. “It was a huge mistake. After he left me, after I started coming back to church, after I met you, I realized that I hadn’t waited on the Lord. I tried to hate Jeff. But I couldn’t. Jeff didn’t know the Lord. He didn’t care or understand that marriage is a commitment made before God. I let my wanting a husband get ahead of waiting on the one God had in mind for me. Do you think I’m right about that?”

Lacy paused for a few moments. “I can’t say what God’s mind was then. I’m sure He wanted you to do what you could to make the marriage work once you had committed to Jeff. But he left and it’s over. You understand the concept—one man, one woman for as long as the two shall live.”

Lilly nodded. “Yes.”

Lacy reached over and placed a cold hand on Lilly’s. “Do you still want a husband?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. Despite my grandmothers, I want to have a family. I look at Joshua and every negative thing my grannies said about marriage, about men, all of it just disappears into thin air. I want a husband. And I want more children. But I don’t want just any husband. I want Cort.”

Lacy smiled. “I thought so! I told you I thought he was your future.”

“But Lacy, he doesn’t want to marry me, for reasons I’m not at liberty to talk about.”

“Do you love him?”

Lilly looked at her hands. “Yes, yes I do.”

“Do you trust God?”

Lilly looked at Lacy. Her blond hair looked like whipped cream after a pie-smashing contest, but the wisdom that shone from her blue eyes reached far into Lilly’s heart. “I want to trust Him.”

“I was reading a verse this morning. ‘Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.’ I believe that was Psalm 37:4.” Lacy thought for a second. “Nope, it was 37:5 because verse four is, I remember now, ‘Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.’”

Lacy searched Lilly’s eyes with hers as Lilly pondered the verses. Commit her way unto the Lord. That was what had been on her mind lately. She hadn’t done that—at least, she hadn’t tried to do that until recently. And she hadn’t totally committed to it until she’d looked into the face of Joshua. “I want my child to know that his mother loves the Lord. My delight would be that he grow to know the Lord. That he join me in heaven one day. That he grow up to be a man of God. And I would like him to have the guidance of a father in his life.”

“Are you prepared to wait on the Lord?”

The question shocked Lilly. She had been all set to go after Cort. To convince him that he was the man for her. But was she prepared to wait on the Lord? Was she once more trying to rush the plan that God had for her life? Lilly sat up straight and gawked at Lacy. “How in the world did you get to be so smart?”

Lacy laughed. “Oh, Lilly, it isn’t me. God prepared my heart for this conversation. I prayed this morning that whatever it was that was bothering you, He would speak through me. That He would just kick me to the curb and use my big mouth to speak to you.”

Lilly lowered her head and stared at her hands folded in her lap. “Yes, I’m prepared to wait on the Lord. Only He could have known what I needed to hear.”

Lacy squeezed Lilly’s shoulder. “God wants what’s best for you and Joshua, Lilly. But whatever is going on may not be about you. It could be about Cort. Give it time and pray. God has a plan. And I have faith that whatever it is, it’s gonna be wonderful. And it’s gonna outshine anything you could imagine.”

“But what if He doesn’t give me Cort? How can I go on?”

“God’s grace is sufficient to sustain you through anything. He promises that. He doesn’t say His grace
might
be sufficient. He says His grace
is
sufficient. Things in this life hurt. You’ve already learned that. Life isn’t fair. Satan is alive and well and striking out at every turn. But I know that when my dad left me and my mom, when he turned his back on us, it hurt so much. But God carried me through. He was faithful and I’ve used that pain to counsel many other people with similar problems because I understood what they were going through. He will carry you, Lilly. He will carry you every step of the way if you need Him to. But I know you. I saw in you a spirit, the first time I saw you singing in the church choir. Like this town, you have a spirit that wants to soar for God. You just have to trust Him. Act out on that trust and pass on His grace as the opportunity arises. You’re going to be all right, Lilly Tipps.”