And I Am Happy (3 page)

Will shook his head. His meanings could not
have been more plain. “You are a most handsome man, sir,” Will told
him, shaking with need and fury. Whoever had convinced his master
that scars and metal limbs made him ugly had done a good job of it.
Perhaps obvious and direct was necessary.

His gentleman’s smile returned, though it was
less flattered and more fond.

“You are unlike anyone I have ever met,
William Stewart,” his gentleman told him, strangely out of breath,
but then disappeared into his study before Will could dare ask if
that was a good or a bad thing.

~~~

Will returned from his errands with a new
brand of biscuits as well as six new cravats and a luncheon for
Charlie from his club. He was in the kitchen some time later,
staring in despair at the sandwiches intended for tea, when the
doorbell rang. He had time to pull down his sleeves but not to
smooth down his hair before he had to answer it.

The Howard sisters—as they had been known
before two of them had married, burst through the door as one. For
a few moments they were a flurry of hats and bustles and coats
dusted with street dirt from riding in an open air Aucourte
Autowagon, pressing harried greetings at Will in loud, ringing
voices. Melisande first, the oldest and first to marry, the one
most willing to be led by her other two sisters, and the one Will
found it easiest to deal with. She was a handsome woman, as
striking as her brother but with soft curves.

Katherine was next, the youngest, widowed at
an early age and left with a daughter. The family townhouse was at
her disposal but she shared it with her middle sister. The middle
sister was another matter. As a group the sisters could be
terrifying but taken singly Will had learned to manage them. All
but one. Will sighed before facing her.

“Miss Ann,” he addressed Ann, the unmarried
sister, the one his master had once confessed to loving dearly
after also confessing that there were days he wished to pretend to
be out when she called. Will had offered to play along should the
charade ever be necessary but Charlie had yet to deny his sister a
visit, or anything else for that matter. He never did.

“William.” Miss Ann stopped in the
entranceway to look him over, making Will aware of his hair again.
He resisted the urge to straighten up or duck his chin. Miss Ann
might not approve of him but she had never had a negative word to
say about his treatment of her brother. Will would not be
soft-soaping the situation to say that he had, if nothing else,
gotten Charles Howard to dress like the dashing figure he was, and
he liked to think he had eased some of the nerves that had used to
leave his master so tense. Will had affected him for the better and
even the Howard sisters knew it.

He thought disparaging things about Miss
Ann’s unflattering choice of hat to bolster his strength of
conviction. Feathers and ribbons made her look whimsical, he
decided. Sadly there was nothing whimsical about her. She ought to
wear a general’s uniform.

“William, we’ve brought a guest to tea,” Miss
Ann announced after another look at his hands and the butter
smeared across his thumb. She had stopped calling Will, “Stewart,”
after noticing that her brother called him by the even more
familiar, “Will,” though she did not go that far.

Will blinked at her announcement and watched
in surprise as the sisters parted to reveal another woman, a woman
about Ann’s age, which made her a few years younger than his
master. She was not family. She didn’t have the Spanish influence
that gave the Howards their dark eyes and hair. She was blond, with
wide green eyes. Her figure was shown to advantage in her filmy,
sea-foam dress.

Her perfume, he noticed immediately, was
Lily-of-the-Valley.

She was not a fortune hunter, or at least not
one of the common calibre of fortune hunters that his gentleman
encountered from time to time. Her clothes were fine and subtle in
the manner of those with family lines going back to before the
Conquest. Many who chased after his master were after his money or
connections. This woman did not seem to need either. Will fought
his despair.

Women, and men, had come after Charlie
before, leaving Will puzzled as to which his master preferred or if
he had a preference at all. His gentlemen slept alone. If he found
physical satisfaction, it was far from his home and Will. For a man
so handsome and only growing more distinguished with age, a man in
a position of power who could have chosen from a field of lovers,
Charlie Howard was free with his blushes and restrained in his
needs.

A man with a broken heart might act that way,
as Will had first thought upon arriving to work in this house. It
was a suspicion seemingly confirmed by how his master seemed to
think of himself as a creature none could desire. Someone cruel had
torn his master’s heart to pieces. Now Will was looking at the
woman who sought to take up those pieces for herself and sew them
into something whole. Unlike the many others who had tried, this
one might succeed.

Will flushed with bitter heat but nodded to
acknowledge Mrs. Jeanine Douglass, widow of a Maj. Douglass. She
was American and bold enough that Will decided he did not like her,
even if he knew his master admired boldness and needed it on the
days when smiles would not easily come to him.

He took her coat as well the others’ light
cloaks, directed the ladies to where they might refresh themselves.
Then he went in to announce them.

“Your sisters, sir,” he drew out the warning
as he approached his master’s great desk, making Charlie raise his
head from a draft of a letter. The rueful grin he gave Will made
Will want to shut the door to all visitors and offer himself
instead, on the desk if necessary. He swallowed the words with a
pained grimace and Charlie’s smile started to dim before his
expression grew openly concerned. “And a guest,” Will added with
reluctance, making his gentleman snap his head back. His reading
glasses slipped down his nose as he did and Will reached out to
push them into place without thinking. He jumped and withdrew his
hand when someone cleared her throat from the doorway.

The ladies were staring at him.
Miss
Ann
was staring at him. As though he were a real valet, Will
gave them the deepest nod imaginable and kept his hands at his side
while he went to the kitchen to wait for them to ring for tea.

They were laughing when he returned, even his
gentleman. Will wished he had been listening at the door to see
what Mrs. Douglass-of-the-Valley had said that was so amusing but
their laughter calmed as he set the heavy tray on the low table by
the sofa. Charlie glanced at him, that line appearing between his
eyes that meant something in Will’s expression had worried him.
Will smiled back helplessly then headed to the door. He wasn’t a
butler or a footman. He wasn’t expected to serve their tea. No
doubt Mrs. Douglass would offer to demonstrate her grace and charm
and while she was doing that, Will could be listening at the
door.

“William,” Miss Ann called him back before he
had crossed the threshold. Will stopped and restrained himself from
heaving a sigh.

“Will has work to do.” His master was a
generous master and tried to rescue him. Will felt his mouth turn
up and knew that Miss Ann noticed. Her eyes, the same shade as her
brother’s, narrowed.

“His work has much improved, that is what I
wanted to tell him.” She smiled. It was not reassuring. If anything
it made Will straighten further in alarm. Miss Ann spoke as though
she didn’t notice. “It is admirably tidy in here, William.”

“I knew you would visit today, Miss Ann, and
I know how discerning you can be,” Will answered without thinking.
Charlie coughed. So did Mrs. Douglass. Will almost glanced at
her.

“Shall I pour?” Mrs. Douglass offered into
the silence while Will tried to keep his face clear of the mischief
in his heart. Miss Ann was not fooled. Neither was his master. The
other two Howard sisters quietly accepted their tea but their
attitude was watchful. It was impossible to tell what they
thought.

“Will keeps persuading me to try new blends
of tea. This one is particularly good.” His master’s tone was
smooth and warm.

Miss Ann took her gaze from Will. It was only
a moment’s reprieve. “What lovely sandwiches, William,” she said,
kind enough to make Will wonder if she was feeling well. The woman
usually seemed to spend all of her time in her brother’s home
expressing her disdain over Will’s skills and prodding him to be a
better valet. She was either nosy or that concerned about her
brother’s well-being, most likely both.

Will considered his sandwiches. They were
edible but they were not lovely. Despite how simple it ought to
have been to cut the crust from sandwiches with a sharp knife,
Will’s sandwiches had uneven edges and always would it seemed. A
sad sigh slipped out of him despite his best efforts.

“Just the thing. I’m ravenous.” His master
immediately leaned forward to take a sandwich. He was a true
gentleman. Mrs. Douglass was equally astute and polite, as she also
took a sandwich and popped it in her mouth. She did not seem to
mind that it had too much butter. She hummed in appreciation as
though she had the same sensibilities as his master.

Will looked from her to his gentleman. His
breath nearly left him completely when Mrs. Douglass then accepted
the cup and saucer from his master’s metallic hand. She murmured
something that he could not hear over the faint whirr and hum of
its gears and though she did not touch the cool, shining steel,
neither did she look away from it. It was a wonder that Charlie had
hid most of it from her last night but did not do so now. Perhaps
his gentleman was intent on slowly revealing himself to her. It was
a thought Will could not bear.

“If there’s nothing else,” he said at last,
cold sinking low into his breast. The widow Douglass might wear too
much Lily-of-the Valley but her spirits were warm. She was lively.
She was bold and pretty. And she was a woman, which might be what
his master preferred after all.

“That operetta you saw, Will. Mrs. Douglass
has seen it too.” This time his master stopped Will from leaving
the room. He cleared his throat when Will turned incredulously back
to face him. “Will loves the theatre,” Charlie explained to the
others, with an expression on his face that seemed to beg Will to
stay. “I do not get out much.”

“Not as often as you should, sir,” Will
forgot himself, again, in the space of only a few minutes. He
risked a glance at the Howard sisters. He had their attention,
which was not what he wished, not ever. If only his master would
not look at him so, as if he needed Will’s presence more than he
needed air. It was not fair.

“Perhaps I should take you out then, Mr.
Howard.” Mrs. Douglass, oddly, kept her eyes on Will as she made
the suggestion. She had pretty eyes, with lashes almost as long and
dark as Will’s. “What do you think, William? Shall we drag him out
into the limelight?”

Will wondered if she saw the way Charlie’s
flesh hand tightened on the arm of his chair.

“Surely not the limelight.” Will kept his
voice down and focused back on her. “Not on the stage itself.
Perhaps a balcony, quiet and secluded, where he may enjoy himself
without worry, and keep the company of those he loves.”

“William.” Katherine made a noise that was
close to unladylike. Her sisters’ eyes grew sharp.

“
Will
,” Charlie exhaled his name but
Will could not look at him. He could not trust himself now.

“That sounds like reasonable advice, William.
Thank you.” Mrs. Douglass was soft, but Will quickly took his
leave, without any grace at all.

~~~

Will spent the next hour outside the study
dusting a table. There was a maid who did most of the cleaning but
no one would think it out of the ordinary to catch Will doing some
dusting, no one but his master, but his master did not leave the
study during Mrs. Douglass’ visit.

Mrs. Douglas, despite being American, seemed
knowledgeable of politics and the issues that Master Charlie was
interested in. She probably also read the same books. Will tried to
read, he truly did, but other things seemed to always need his
attention. He preferred to see and hear his stories acted out in
front of him. It had never seemed silly before, but now he felt
very silly indeed. He was not a man of quality. He was not a
scholar or politician. He had done nothing to stand out in his
gentleman’s eyes. He was an outspoken, aging bit of crumpet acting
as a valet, only tolerated because of his master’s good nature.

He knew he was odd and that others thought so
too when Mrs. Douglass asked about him. Will was most unique for a
valet. Miss Ann tried to explain it away with a remark about her
brother’s love for all mankind. It was not precisely a lie; his
master
did
champion the rights of the common man. But the
truth was more that Will was something closer to his master’s
friend, as unusual as that might be.

His master had few that he called friend.
Left on his own he might have none. Those he did have were as
interesting as he was; smart men who seemed to prefer their
loneliness, or who spent their evenings in quiet companionship.
Will, upon starting the position, had felt for some time that he
was intruding on his master’s solitude. It had been almost a month
until he had realized that without a speech written beforehand, his
master did not know how to talk to others well. More than that, he
often found their presence taxing, even that of his sisters.

It had been at close to the same time that
Will had become determined to put his new master at ease. He still
was not sure why, only that it had become necessary for Will’s
peace of mind for his gentleman to relax in his presence. Once he
had, it had been his master who had taken the next step to deeper
intimacy by calling him, “William,” and Will who had requested the
shorter, “Will,” instead. It was familiar in front of company but
most never commented. The kind of guests his master had in his home
were generally not the sort to comment.