And I Trusted You (4 page)

After about an hour, Calvin left. He had some casework to do at home. Marie cleaned up the kitchen. When she was done she knocked on the door of the guestroom. “Denise, are you still up?”

“Yeah, just finishing up the letter. Come on in.” She said shifting her sitting position. Here I want you to read this. It’s a poem that sort of describes my relationship with Damon. Tell me what you think.” She said handing Marie a sheet of paper.

Because I Love You

We plan beautiful things to do

And you never follow through.

When we’re out with our friends

You belittle, embarrass and offend.

When I do things wrong and realize

You hit me then turn and apologize.

I do exactly as you instruct

It’s wrong, I’m stupid and stuck.

You profess undying love for me

If you can’t have me, dead I’ll be.

I love you deeply as I mend

I’ve had and raised your children.

I’ve cared for you when you were ill

My family says go, leave the bills.

You’re just no good through and through

But I know I can’t, because I love you.

Marie looked at the poem and could not believe what she saw. “Denise, are you planning to give this to Damon?”

“Yes I am. I want him to understand how much he has hurt me. You know, I’ve been thinking a lot today. I’ve had the time to do that. I came to the conclusion that Damon has always been abusive. Do you remember when we were in high school and he picked me up and put me in my seat?” Denise asked looking at the poem.

“Yeah, I remember. He told you not to talk to anyone else and that you came to school to get an education, not to socialize. And then from that day forward, he walked you to all of your classes. I remember all of the girls at school being jealous and saying how strong he was.” She said sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Right, but what I didn’t tell you was that when he came over that afternoon, he told me that if he ever caught me talking to someone else, he’d kill me. I didn’t worry about it ‘cause I wasn’t interested in anyone else. If I had paid attention, I would have noticed the possessiveness and the obsession with me then.” She said shaking her head.

“Denise, they say love is blind. Remember? There’s even a song about it. But, you can beat this. You don’t have to end up that way because you have the blinders off.” Marie said patting her on the shoulder. “You know I love you and I’ll be here for you no matter what. Why don’t you
try to get some sleep? You’ll have a busy day tomorrow.” She said standing and giving Denise a motherly hug.

Marie went into her bedroom. She showered put on her PJ’s and knelt down to pray. Though she wasn’t an avidly religious woman, she did have faith and believe in God. If anyone needed God right now, it was Denise. She was worried Damon would somehow do something stupid and hurt Denise. Once she’d finished praying and asking God for help, she decided Denise shouldn’t go to work for a few days. Damon might try to look for her there. She climbed into bed and soon drifted off into a restless sleep.

The next morning Denise was up at the crack of dawn. She was up and showered and dressed before Marie even woke up. She left a note explaining where she was going and what her plans were for the day. Marie jumped on the phone and called Calvin. “Good morning baby. I love you and I need to make you aware of something. Denise has already left. She said she would meet you at the courthouse at 9am. She has a letter for Damon that she would like the sheriff to serve with the protection order.” She said.

“Okay, good. I’ve got about an hour. I’ll call you when I’m through with her. You and I need to talk about how to move her out of that house with Damon. It’ll take a while to get the order on this short notice, so it may be near lunchtime when I’m done. I love you and I’ll talk to you later.” He said blowing a kiss into the phone.

Calvin got up, showered, dressed and headed to the office. It was right next to the courthouse so it wouldn’t take long for him to get next door to meet Denise. He informed his boss of the new development and that he would be tied up for the better part of the day, if not the whole thing. He instructed his secretary to take messages from any callers.  At 8:45am, Calvin left his office to go next door. As he walked out of the building, he saw a car driving unusually slow. He kept his eyes open for Denise. He took another look at the car and became worried. But, it was for nothing. It wasn’t Damon in the car. He walked into the building and Denise was sitting inside. They walked back to the counter to file the necessary paperwork for the order of protection. Calvin wanted to speak to the judge directly and he was glad the judge on this was a friend of his and he could pull a few strings.

It didn’t take the whole day, but they didn’t get finished with all of the paperwork until 2pm. When Calvin played the answering machine tape, the judge signed the order. Denise told about the choking incident and the bruise on her face. Calvin called Marie to let her know how things had gone. Denise was going to run a couple of errands. She had called earlier and Damon was working. He was on duty at the juvenile detention center. So, Denise decided to go by her house to pick up some clothes and a few other things. The sheriff would serve Damon at home later.

Before she went home, she decided to stop and get something to eat. She realized she hadn’t had anything since last night and she wasn’t feeling well. Denise drove to the nearest fast food place and ordered a grilled chicken sandwich combo. As she was about to drive around to pay for her order, she felt something wasn’t right. She turned to look around checking if she saw anything unusual and then slumped over onto the seat.

The car behind Denise honked its horn for a few moments when Denise didn’t drive up. The woman got out to see why the car wasn’t moving. Once she got to Denise’s car and saw Denise, she began screaming. She saw blood splattered inside the car. She ran inside to let the manager know what had happened.

******************

Damon had been following Denise all morning. He didn’t know where Marie lived, but he knew she had to be staying there. He figured she would go to the courthouse at some point and he waited. He was there when she parked her car and walked up. He saw Calvin exit the building next to the courthouse and go inside. It was pretty boring sitting outside all day waiting on them. But they finally came out, together. “What was she doing with him, anyway?”

He followed her from the courthouse at a good distance. He watched as she pulled into the drive thru line. He knew this was his chance. The line was fairly long so that gave him time to drive a fair distance away. There was a hotel nearby and he used it as cover. He pointed his high-powered rifle with the scope out the window and waited. She came around in the line and he pulled the trigger. He saw her slump over. He waited a few minutes and saw the lady behind her get out to check on the problem. Once he saw the lady screaming and running inside, he drove off. He went to work and snuck back into the building. He had been pulling a 24-hour shift ‘cause Charles had called in sick. Since he was the supervisor and there was no one else to cover, he had to work. He made the time to see Denise and she had betrayed him by going to the courthouse. He didn’t have to go inside to know that it was something bad. He told her he didn’t want to live without her.

Damon got off work early because Luther came in. He said he needed the overtime. He went home and called his mother. “Hello Momma. How are the boys doing?”

“Oh they are little angels. They are keeping me busy but I don’t mind. They are probably keeping me young. I’d rather be running after them, than from your father.” She said with a chuckle.

“Oh yeah, I do remember those times. Can I talk to them? I’d like to hear their voices today.”  Damon said happily.

“Sure. I’ll go get them. They’re outside playing. We’ve got some new kids in the neighborhood and they are having a ball. I’ll be right back.” She said putting the phone down lightly.

Mrs. James came back shortly with the boys. Damon talked to each of them. He told them how much he loved them and how he would always watch over them. He told them that he loved their mother and how they were wonderful children. Then he told them how happy he would be to see them again. He said a small good bye to his mother expressing love and thanks, then hung up the phone.

He took a picture of Denise from its frame and placed it on the bed beside him. He took the new Glock 9mm gun he had purchased last week from the box under the bed. He put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. The blood and brain matter splattered in the ceiling and on the walls. He died instantly.

*****************

Marie looked up and saw Calvin walking toward her desk. “Hi. What brings you here? I thought we were meeting in a couple of hours.” She said hugging him.

“Yeah, sit down Marie. I saw Denise earlier and we did what we set out to do. But it was too late.” He said putting his big strong arms around her. “Marie, Damon shot Denise at a drive thru exactly 45 minutes ago. I’m so sorry.” He said squeezing her to him.

Marie sobbed for the loss
of her sister. She thought about the poem Denise had written. And she realized Denise was dead because she had loved Damon.

“Marie, that’s not all. The police found the order of protection on the seat of Denise’s car and went to the house. Damon was there, not at work. They didn’t get an answer to the doorbell.  Just as they were about to enter the home, they heard a gunshot. They went inside and found Damon in the bedroom. He had shot himself. I know this is a lot to deal with.” Calvin said rubbing Marie’s back.

“Calvin, he said he wanted her to be with him. And he said he wouldn’t live without her. Now that he’s killed her and himself, he doesn’t have to. Love is blind and Denise is dead because of it.” She said and burst into a fresh round of uncontrollable tears. She hit at Calvin’s chest until her arms were tired. Then she heaved and shook against him until she hurt physically from crying. But there was nothing to be done, except let her cry it out. The next few days were a blur to Marie. Calvin could not get her to eat or even drink anything. She just lay in the bed looking at pictures of Denise and the boys. No sound came from her as tears streamed down her face. Calvin hoped she would one day get over the loss but he realized it would take time because he loved her.

The End.

Friends

I went by the office to make sure the bank deposit was correct. Ray, my boss, had made a mistake the day before and asked me to double-check the deposit behind him. It was only 7:30 a.m, so I was surprised when I walked in and saw the lights on. Ray must have gotten there early to prep for incoming clients. The business had really picked up since he had a commercial done advertising the staffing service. As I walked into the front office, I hoped Ray hadn’t had a fight with his Joanne again and had spent the night here. He would be irritable if he had and she would be calling all day long getting on my nerves. 

The last time they had a fight it was because Ray had hired me. The woman even had the nerve to come to the office and threaten me. Spouting about the age difference between Ray and I and how she deserved respect because she was old enough to be my mother. The ironic thing was, the woman assumed I wanted Ray, and there could be nothing further from the truth. I’m happily married and have been for over ten years, with two beautiful kids. I have a brand new car that I just got for my 11th anniversary and a part time job that I enjoy. Why in the world, would I want to mess that up, by having an affair? Anyway, I remember having to put her in her place and make things clear to her. I even told her, she shouldn’t be worried about me, but the other female friends Ray has with ulterior motives. 

I knocked on the door of the inner office and called, “Ray, are you in there?”

“Yeah, I came in early. I thought I should watch you do the deposit. You may not work here forever and I need to learn how to do it. Besides, Joanne is on the war path again. She doesn’t wanna do anything to help me out, but she wants to spend the money and control the decisions I make.” He replied with a sigh.

“I kinda figured there was something going on with her. You should think about getting a new girlfriend. For someone 45 years old, she acts like a 16 year old. But that’s your problem.” I said walking to the file cabinet to get the deposit book.

“Leslie, you know who I want to be my girlfriend, and wife, for that matter. But you won’t give me the time of day, other than working here. Your husband is a lucky man. I hope he knows it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ve been over this and nothing is gonna change. But, I can assure you that my husband knows just how lucky he is. I don’t give him a chance to think about anyone else, you know that. Maybe, if you settled down with someone who loves you, you could have the same thing.” I said as I tried to push him out of the way so I could walk by.

“Now, move, so we can get this done and I can catch the bank before it gets really busy. I wanna leave early today, if that’s all right with you.”

“That’s fine. But, I’ll need you here early tomorrow. I scheduled an early morning applicant. So, you’ll need to be here at 7 am. She’ll be walking in the door a few minutes later. She has an appointment at the doctor’s office and she’s responding to the newspaper ad
for an administrative assistant.” He said walking his short thin self around and standing behind me.

“Gotcha.” I said as I showed him what he needed to do. The rest of the day at the office progressed as I expected. Ray was irritable and sure enough, Joanne called all day. He wouldn’t take any of her calls and that made things worse. Finally, I suggested he take some time before I left and go talk to her. Even though I felt like Joanne was childish for her age, the least Ray could do was talk to her and work things out. Besides, she was disrupting my routine and making it difficult for me to get my work done. Finally he left for a couple of hours and said everything was okay between them when he returned. I filled him in on the messages and made sure everything was in order. So, at 1:30, I left with a few applications to go over at home.

I drove a few blocks to the cleaners to pick up John’s suits. I went shopping for a negligee, then stopped by the grocery store and did my shopping for the week. Finally I headed home. I was surprised to see my husband’s car as I pulled into the driveway. He didn’t usually get home until late on Tuesday’s. Here it was 2:30 in the afternoon and he’s home. “What could be wrong?”  I unlocked the door and heard voices. It was my husband and I wasn’t sure of the other voice. It was female. So, I quietly walked in and closed the door. I didn’t see them in the living room, so I walked to the den thinking they would be in there. I realized the voices were coming from the bedroom. I stopped, took a deep breath for a moment and quietly pushed the door open. I dropped to my knees when I saw who was in my bed.

There was my husband climbing onto the bed, with his co-worker, Cynthia under my covers. I couldn’t move for a moment. When I found the strength to lunge. I rushed over, pushed my husband onto the floor and punched Cynthia in the face. I dragged her out of the bed and out of my house by her hair. My husband was yelling at me and trying to hold my arms. “It’s amazing how much strength you have when you get angry.”  I locked her out with no clothes on, then went back to pack a suitcase for my husband. But, I thought better of it and threw all his clothes in garbage bags. I sat them outside on the steps. During all of this my husband was trying to get Cynthia’s clothes to put on. I called my sister and asked her to pick the kids up from school and let them spend a few nights at her place. I assured her nothing was wrong and I would explain everything to her later.

When John, the cheater, had gotten Cynthia a taxi, he came back to talk to me as I was hanging up the phone.

“Leslie, I’m so sorry. I apologize. This was the only time I’ve ever done anything like this. It’s not what you think. You know I love you. I don’t know why this happened. Please don’t leave me. PLEASE!” He said as he knelt down on his knees and squeezed my hand.

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere. You are. Your things are on the front steps. I want you out! I’ll tell the kids you had to go for personal reasons, which is true. But, you can thank yourself for ending this marriage. Get out of my sight!” I screamed trying to pull my hands away.

John stood up and wrapped his arms around me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe. It was easy for him to engulf me with his long arms and lift me from the floor. “No. I’m not leaving. We have to work through this. You aren’t leaving,
either. I love you too much to lose you and I know you love me. You can’t just stop loving me in one hour and throw away all we have together. “

“Oh I can’t? You did!” I said struggling to pull free. “Let me go. I never wanna see you again, in life.” I hissed.

“You don’t mean that. I KNOW you LOVE ME. You show me every day. Leslie…..”

“That’s right, John, I show you every day and this is the thanks I get. You brought that slut into my house, into my bed. And you expect me not to believe this is an ongoing thing. For all I know, there could have been a whole train of people in here. All this time, I’m thinking my husband is faithful to me. Guess you never know.” I said through tears.

“Aaawww, baby, I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Please, let’s fix this. I don’t want “us” to be over. I need you, Leslie. I need you in my life. I’m nothing without you.” He pleaded.

“John, this is the last time I’m saying this. Let me go.” I said flatly.

He reluctantly released me and stepped back as he saw the look in my eyes. I just stood there staring at him. It was all I could do not to get my biggest knife and cut his heart out, the way he’d just cut mine out. He looked at me with so much sorrow in his eyes, but I couldn’t tell if it was because he got caught or if he was genuinely sorry. “Look at me, still thinking about him and not myself. I’m the one who got hurt here, not him.” I walked over and sat down, holding my head. I was getting a migraine. I needed to calm down. I had things to work out, mainly my children and how I was gonna support myself. I needed time to think. I never expected anything like this to happen. It was so hard to breathe and control my shaking. I didn’t know how to handle things like this. I sat there staring at him and began to sob softly.

He walked over and put his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and continued crying. “What did he expect me to do, find out and immediately forgive him? Did he think I would never find out? Or is it more of he didn’t care whether I did or not? He couldn’t have cared. He brought her to my house and my bed. He could have at least had the decency to do it somewhere else. That is the least he could have done. Oh God, what did I do wrong? I mean, didn’t I do everything the way I was supposed to? My mother always said, “Take care of your man, and he’ll never stray.” I guess she was wrong. I always have a hot meal waiting when he gets home from work. I pay all of the bills early or on time. The children are always fed, clean clothed and taken care of. The house is cleaned. And anything I don’t know in the bedroom, I do research to learn. I’m willing to try new things to please him. I even got a part time job, so I’d have some extra money and not have to bother him about it. Where did I go wrong?”

“Leslie, we need to talk about this. We can’t put it off indefinitely. I know I was wrong. It never should have happened. I never should have been in the situation and I’m so sorry. I apologize for being an ass. But, please, give me a chance to make things right. Please, Leslie. I don’t wanna live without you and the kids in my life. I couldn’t bear not coming home to my family every day.”

“John, you should have thought about that when you were thinking of climbing into bed with Cynthia. You should have thought about how your actions would affect your family. You should have, but obviously, those things weren’t important to you and that’s why you didn’t consider them. And, I know we have to talk about this, but I don’t wanna do it right now. Just leave me alone. I don’t wanna see you, John. I can’t stand the sight of you and I don’t wanna hurt you. If you stay here, you WILL get hurt. So, please leave.” I said as I left the room.

I walked outside, got into my car and left. I drove around for a while then decided to check into a hotel. I knew John wouldn’t be gone if I went back to the house. And the last thing I wanted was to see him. I wouldn’t be able to think if I had to be around him. Once I got to my room, I called Ray to let him know I would be a few minutes late. Could he please open up and I would finish when I got there. I took something to help me sleep and turned the TV on. It wasn’t long before the TV was watching me. The next morning, I was thinking a little clearer. I got up feeling nauseous and got dressed, went by my sister’s place to see the kids, then went to work. When I arrived, Ray was already there. He took one look at me and asked what was wrong. “You look like you had a bad night. What happened after you left here?”  He said with concern.

“Oh, I ran into a lil’ problem at home. But I worked it out. Why, do I look that bad?”

“Yeah, you do. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Of course I am. Now, don’t bother me about it anymore. How did things go after I left yesterday?

“Fine. We got two new applicants and we got four job orders. I left the info on your desk. The orders don’t have to be filled until next week, so we have time to work on them. Oh, here comes our applicant.” He said pointing at the door.

Ray let her in greeting and directing her to me. I took the application, did all the testing and gave her all the pertinent information and forms. The rest of the day was pretty normal. By the time we closed the office at 5 pm, I was really tired. I was off for the next couple of days. Normally, I only worked on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. He would call for me to come in, if things got really busy. As of late, I’d been working four days and sometimes five depending on the job orders we got. Things were going so well. We had discussed me working five mornings a week. Some of the work could be done at home, so I wouldn’t need to be in the office all day. As I was closing out the paperwork, Ray came to stand behind me. He began to gently massage my shoulders. It felt so good. “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong with you? You know I’m here for you and I’ll help you in any way I can. Leslie, what’s wrong?” He said turning me around as I began to cry.

“Oh, who made you cry? Please tell me, what can I do to help you?” He said as we wiped the tears from my eyes. All I could do was look at him and think about the hurt from yesterday. Then I thought about the comments Ray was always making. “When are you gonna divorce John and marry me.” “You know I love you.” “Your husband is such a lucky man.” “Why won’t you give me a chance, I’ll treat you good.”

Every day, there was something said.  John and I went to a car show and that’s where we met Ray. He came over and commented on the classic car John had restored. The two of them hit it off and became associates, then friends. That was five years ago. Ray has eaten at our house. We’ve all gone out together and had a good time. So, Ray is more than my boss, he’s also a friend. And because of this, I just couldn’t tell him what John did. I didn’t wanna relive it and I didn’t want him to know. Besides, I took his comments as jokes, but since yesterday, I’m not too sure about anything anymore.