And I Trusted You (6 page)

I didn’t know what to say or do, so I just silently watched. “Did he think a romantic lunch was gonna change what he did and make me forget? He was sadly mistaken. I decided right then, that I wasn’t gonna say much of anything. He could do all the talking he wanted, but I still needed to clear my mind.”

“Leslie, please forgive me for taking advantage of you. I should have waited until you were ready to talk to me. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t stand the things I knew you were thinking. Please give me a chance to explain things to you. Can I have this time to do that? After you have heard what and how things happened then whatever decision you make, I’ll try to live by. “He said dropping his head and looking down.

“Go ahead, John. Give it your best shot.” I snapped at him.

“Please promise me you will really listen to what I have to say. I mean hear me, Leslie. Will you at least give me that?”

“I’ll listen to you John. Go ahead, give me your side of the story.”

“Okay, first of all, I would never do anything to hurt you. I’d rather die than cause you pain. I love my life with you and our children. You have to believe me. Okay, here is what happened the other day. Cynthia was asking around at the office about contractors to do some work on her house. She asked everybody. So, I told her about the work we had done and how good a job the guys did. She asked if she could see it. I said yes and didn’t think anything else of it.  Anyway, that was a couple of weeks ago. On Tuesday, I mentioned to my secretary I was going home early to surprise you. Cynthia overheard and asked if she could come by to look at the work. I said yes. As we were walking outside, she told me her car was in the shop and would it be a problem to bring her back to work. I told her it wouldn’t be. So, we drove to the house and just as we were pulling up Ray came by. He asked what was going on and I told him about Cynthia wanting to see the work. He said he had to talk to Joanne and was putting it off and then left.

“So, he did stop by. Okay, go on.”

“We went into the house and Cynthia commented on what a wonderful decorating job you’d done with the house. I explained the work was done in our bedroom, how we’d added a larger bathroom with a Jacuzzi and expanded the closets in addition to widening the bedroom. She walked in and looked at the bathroom. Then she came out and asked if she could have something to drink. I said I’d go get it for her while she looked at everything. I didn’t wanna be in the room alone with her. I knew she had a small thing for me, because Ray told me, but I didn’t think she was so devious.

When I returned from the kitchen, she was in the room all right. She was in our bed under the covers and her clothes were on the floor.  I asked her to get dressed. She refused. I told her to put her clothes on and even threw them at her. She wouldn’t move. I tried to reason with her, but she wasn’t listening. She said you didn’t deserve me and she could make me much happier if I would just give her a chance.  I didn’t know that’s how she felt. I thought she was mildly attracted and that was it. You know a small crush. I never dreamed she’d do something like this. But I was dead wrong.  I walked out of the room for a while trying to think what to do. I came back into the room and began to climb onto the bed from the opposite side. I was reaching for her to drag her out when you opened the door. If you’ll remember, I was fully clothed including shoes and socks. I even had on my suit coat. That is because I wasn’t climbing into bed to have sex with her. I never wanted to have sex with her and seeing her in your place in our bed, pissed me off. I cursed her out and threatened to call the police, she said she’d swear I’d drugged her and put her there. I didn’t know what to do.” He finished dropping his head.

“John, why should I believe you? I haven’t talked to her to know what happened. I haven’t had time to clear my mind and really think things through. So, what do you want from me? I mean what are you asking me to do?”

“Leslie, I’ve told you I can’t live without you. Will you please bring the children back home and at least stay at the house until we get this worked out? I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. I promise. I just need to have you and the kids near me.”

“I’ll think about it, John. I’m ready to go back. Will you please take me back to the hotel where my car is. I know you know where it’s parked.” I said softly gave him a mean look.

He picked up the things he had laid out and put them back into the basket. “Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?” He asked.

“I’m sure. I haven’t had much of an appetite these last few days. Just can’t seem to keep anything down.” I replied.

“Have you seen a doctor? I mean, what are your other symptoms?” He asked with concern.

“I have been feeling sick for a few weeks now. I told you I was feeling bad before all of this started. I’ll make an appointment first thing tomorrow morning. Now, would you please take me back to my car?”

“Yes, I’ll take you back to your car. Leslie, please remember, I love you with all my heart. I would never do anything to hurt you and the kids. Never.” He said as he helped me up.

We rode in silence as he drove. I was thinking about the things he’d told me, and playing things out in my mind. “He was indeed fully clothed. He looked like he was disgusted when I came in and he looked at me. He didn’t have a lustful look on his face. Maybe he was telling the truth. As far as I know, he’s never lied to me about anything.  I don’t know.”

“The children miss their father. I hear it in their voices every time I talk to them when they ask me about him. I know they want all of us to be together. Maybe I should move back in for them, at least until I get things sorted out. It would be better, I guess. They could get their lives back to normal, at least. Oh, God, please help me. I don’t know what to do.” John pulled into the parking lot of my former hotel. I sat there for a minute before I got out. Finally, I said, “John, I’ll go pick up the kids and see you at home later today.”

He got the broadest smile on his face. He truly had a beautiful smile with dimples and everything. As I got out of the car, he touched my hand. “Thank you. I promise you, you won’t regret it.” He said.

“I hope not John. See you later.” I said and closed the door. I walked over to my car, got in and drove off. I needed to think. Where could I go? I drove to the office and went inside. Ray wouldn’t be here on a Sunday and I could be alone for a while. After a few hours I left and picked up my children. It told them we would be going back home. They asked what was wrong, but I didn’t tell them.

Once we got back to our home, I started dinner. John came into the kitchen and stopped me. He was taking all of us out for dinner. We went to my favorite Italian restaurant. I ordered my food and as soon as it was placed in front of me, I threw up. My stomach had been feeling funny, but it didn’t think it was this bad. We left once the children finished eating. John was concerned so we took the kids back to my sister’s house and he took me to the emergency room. Once examined by the doctor and John and I were alone, he looked at me with such concern in his eyes.

“I hope that doctor hurries up. Are you feeling a lil’ better?” He asked holding my hand.

“I’m okay, my stomach is just upset. It’s been feeling funny for the last couple of weeks, but I just figured it was some kind of bug going around and would pass.”

The door slowly opened and the doctor came in with a nurse. “Okay Mrs. Jameson. We did some blood work and we’ve gotten the results back. According to our lab work you’re pregnant.” He said with a smile.

“You look surprised. We’ll need to do a further examination to determine how far along you are, then you’ll need to follow up with your OB/GYN as soon as possible. Mr. Jameson, do you want to stay for the examination if Mrs. Jameson wants you to?” He asked.

“Ah, yes. I wasn’t expecting this.” John said looking at me.

The doctor put my legs in the stirrups and did his examination with the nurse’s assistance. When he was done, he instructed me to clean up in the sink and get dressed. I didn’t have much to say to John. I was in shock. “I’m pregnant!” The doctor must be wrong. The doctor returned a few minutes later. He informed us that I was six weeks pregnant. As soon as he said six weeks, I knew when I got pregnant. “John has his hand under my shirt as we walked on the beach.”

“I wasn’t wearing a bra or any underwear. I just felt so free on this island. John and I walked to a secluded spot and before I could protest, his mouth was on my breast softly pulling and opening me in lower places. His hot breath traveled down to my stomach, which was bare. He deftly positioned me on the ground on some soft leaves with shoulder high shrubs concealing us from anyone’s view. The feeling of his tongue softly sucking and gently touching me was too much. I couldn’t hold back. As I lay there shuddering John removed his trunks and moved on top of me. With each thrust, we each moved closer to climax. I matched his rhythm and we clasped each other in sweet ecstasy. It was so spontaneous; there was no thought of using a condom.”

I could even give the doctor the date if he wanted it. I don’t need this right now. John and I left the hospital. Once I walked into the family room, I called my sister from home to ask if the kids could spend the night. Naturally, she asked if everything was okay, and I told her about me being pregnant. She was thrilled to know she’d be an Aunt again.

As I hung up the phone, John walked into the room. “Did you tell Helen?”

“Yeah, she’s happy about the baby. John, I’m not ready for this. I don’t know if I want this right now in my life.”

“Well, we have to talk this out. I will let you know, I’m happy about the baby. There is only one other thing that could make me happier, and you know what that is. So, how are we gonna handle this? “

“What do you mean, how are we gonna handle this. WE still have to deal with you and Cynthia. The baby isn’t going anywhere, it’ll be right here growing inside me no matter what happens. I thought about the things you told me regarding Cynthia. You’re just gonna have to give me some time to deal with that. I have an appointment tomorrow. So I’ll see you when I get home. But tonight, I’m sleeping in the guest room. I want you to change all of my bed linen. I want that stuff thrown out. I don’t want it in my house. Good night John.”

I closed the door and got ready for bed. I slept soundly and the next morning, called the counselor, which I had selected. I was able to get an appointment, so I got ready and drove the hour to get there on time. Mr. Jerkins, my counselor, was a quiet, mild mannered man with thinning brown hair framing his jovial face. We made our introductions and began our session. I began by explaining why I needed to talk with someone and what led me to him. After listening for a few minutes he calmly asked, “Do you love your husband?”

“Of course, I do. I just don’t know what to do about my feelings.”

“Are you happy about the baby?”

“Yes, I am. I guess if this “thing” hadn’t happened, I would be visibly ecstatic.”

“Well, Mrs. Jameson, I think you know what you should do. But you are hurt more than anything. In listening to you, it seems you believe what your husband told you. Remember, he was fully clothed, you told me so. And you mentioned that he looked for you and even enlisted help in finding you and trying to explain things to you. That doesn’t sound like a guilty man to me. It sounds more like a man who wants to make his wife understand what was really going on. He must have realized how it looked. Did he give you some space when you asked?

“Yes he did. He even came to services and he never does that. He says he can’t live without me and the children.”

“Well. It’s up to you. Do you want to make up with him?”

“I do, but I’m scared.”

“Okay, so we need to deal with that. Do you think it’s fair to punish him for your fears?”

“No.” I said with a sigh. “You’re right I do know what I should do. I guess I just needed a sounding board. You know someone to hear me out. I didn’t wanna talk to anyone who knows me because I didn’t think they would be objective. Thank you.”

“I’m happy to have been able to help. Now, how do you want to proceed? There are some underlying issues, I think we need to address. May I set another appointment for you to come in next week?”

“I’ve really enjoyed our talk, but I think I’ll wait a while before I come back.  I should be going I have an appointment with my OB/GYN in a couple of hours.” I said standing up.